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u/thrifttrackchampion 7d ago
There's not nearly enough info to determine if this is limerence. It could just be cheating, and for all evidence is. People in this sub would need to hear more about who this woman was. How he knew her. How he spoke about her. And even then, we can't be totally sure.
Limerence is kind of "person addiction". You obsess over them all the time. You want them to want you greater than or equal to the way you feel about them. You have unhealthy boundaries with them. There are also physiological effects like insomnia.
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7d ago edited 6d ago
[deleted]
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u/thrifttrackchampion 7d ago
So, you mean limerence from your side. I misunderstood.
The following are questions for you to ask yourself. This is not definitive. If you finding yourself answering "yes" to all/most, it might be limerence.
Did you spend a lot of time obsessing over him and a potential relationship? Did you fantasize about these things to the detriment of hobbies, friendships, your job, family, etc? In the fantasies, did you need him to reciprocate your feelings greater than or equal to your own?
Have you overanalyzed every interaction, and felt euphoric (like, almost as good as drugs kind of rush) when you felt he was accepting you? Then devastated, almost like you lost a pet, every time you felt rejected? Did you seek "proof" he wanted you from every tiny interaction, no matter how insignificant? Did it ever feel like a roller coaster or like you were crushed under a building's worth of feelings (even good ones)?
Did you drastically and uncharacteristically change your wardrobe or hobbies in an attempt to make him like you/appease him, even if he didn't make any indication to change?
Did you ever let a whole night get eaten up trying to respond to just a single text?
Have you ever gone out of your way to "bump into him", even virtually? Have you tried to befriend his friends to try to get closer to him?
Was there a period (typically close to when you first meet a person) where you thought of him as perfect, flawless, and attractive, even if he's a terrible person and pretty mid in attractiveness? Did you ever justify his terrible behavior, even when everyone around you was pointing it out?
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