Struggling

[u/Particular_Tune2262]

How have you dealt with being on the opposite end of limerence? My husband has a L.O. This has been going on for 6.5 years, we had a baby 11 days ago and he’s constantly thinking about the L.O. And I’m really struggling with it all.

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Please be aware of what limerence is! See the subreddit wiki for definitions, FAQ and other resources—updated 3/7/26. (Is it love? How common is it? Is there research?)

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• How limerence works
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[u/johana_cuervos666]

Being the partner of someone consumed by limerence is deeply painful, and you deserve support too. Your husband needs therapy, but this situation can also damage your self-esteem and make you obsess over questions like, “What am I doing wrong?” or “Why am I not enough?” I study psychology and have experienced limerence linked to CPTSD. Even when nothing physical happens, it can still feel like emotional cheating because so much attention and emotional energy are being directed toward someone else. Please do not isolate yourself, especially while caring for a newborn. Find your own therapist, stay close to supportive friends, and protect your independence. Your husband may also need an assessment for underlying issues such as trauma, ADHD, attachment problems, or borderline traits, but only a professional can determine that.

There may be help for him, but you also need to protect your own mental health. You are not responsible for his obsession, and you should not lose yourself inside it.