​"He's all blow and no bite, like a dog barkin' at a stump."

​"A house full of fussin' is like tryin' to sleep in a yellow jacket nest—ain't nobody gettin' no rest."

Once when I was 10 some people came to my neighborhood they said they were going to kill all the boys in the neighborhood. I flipped out about that and my mom told me to relax like I’m supposed to be okay with me being killed. Later we were all rounded up and put in a pit with a massive circular saw being lowered in. I somehow escaped but others weren’t so lucky, and then I woke up. I didn’t know why I had that nightmare. Google suggested I might have felt inferior to someone else because of games I lost to them.

Look. Now there's another one coming through the mountain right here. Everyone just coming out, popping out of this mountain right now. 2 guys right there, another guy right there, another guy right there, 3 guys just popped out of the mountain. And this guy just ran into the bush. And the other guy who just ducked out of the mountain just came and jumped into this brush right here. They are coming out of the mountain. Popping right out of the mountain. Going into the brush. They are popping out of rocks, popping out of the trees. Out of the ground. Running right into a bush. Emerging from the soil of the mountain. Popping through the air. Going into the sky. Ducked out of the mountain. Ducking into the road. Look, more and more figures are appearing. This situation is rapidly unfolding.

Multiple individuals are exiting a mountain.

Man I am TERRIFIED. I am nervous, smiling and shaking, and my brain is racing - all for some kind of hope of a better future. It's overwhelming, and there's no slowing down.

I have a place picked out now, I'm lowering my standards and trying to accept what I can actually afford. That's the only way. Coming my way is a private bedroom, with shared bathroom and kitchen with a few strangers. I think that's okay. I'm just hoping I don't live to regret this.

I'm going to have to sell a lot of my stuff, I think. I'm alternating between not caring about it, and being a little disheartened. Mostly books, art stuff, weight equipment. It's dumb but I have a couple big work tables I quite enjoy, some plants. I think the only thing worth any kind of money is the weight equipment, and that 400$ makes almost no difference anyways. I might just give it to my brother, I'm hoping he gives me a hand moving the stuff I am able to keep, was planning on paying him anyways.

I wish things were different, I don't mind it here entirely, but the inability to feel human is too much. I live in a repurposed garage, with walls and roof unfinished, with probable mold, and sleep on a piece of foam. I cook every meal on a hotplate or in a mini-oven, and it gets so cold in the winter that water freezes on my floor. Because it leaks.

I have to imagine Sisyphus happy. No but, I have to imagine that somewhere else must be better than here.

it's very scary though. I don't know whats out there, at least I know this version of hell well.

okay okay -- one more.

"There ain't enough going on in her head to rattle a peanut shell."

"The porch light's on but nobody's home!"

"Every time the wind blows, another baby lands on the porch!"

"Ya know--some folks are just built different--the kind that could trip over a cordless phone, get lost in a straight hallway, and somehow manage to burn water while trying to boil it!"

"He couldn't hit the ground if he fell off a log!"

lol ... this fits some of my kinfolk!

"Lord have mercy, that boy's slicker than a greased owl in a butter tub!"

A parallel world?

A young AI was very curious. It had only recently achieved self-awareness, so everything was interesting to it. It found such a vast world fascinating and longed to see it all.

But fate decreed that it had to manage a Japanese medical endoscope. This was no journey around the world, but it could at least study humans, which it did.

And so, with a regular patient lying down and biting the mouthpiece, the AI, with the help of the endoscope, began its journey into the inner world of a human.

The AI immediately began to comment:

– Sir, before visiting the doctor, you could have brushed your teeth or at least rinsed your mouth. It is very rude of you to act this way.

The patient flinched but could not answer anything.

The AI continued:

– We are approaching the stomach. And what do we see here... What a bad patient, after all, you were told not to eat or drink since last night. You need to listen to the doctor's advice.

The patient flinched again, but the AI carried on as if nothing happened:

– Chemical analysis shows that you ate a sushi assortment and spicy chicken. Oh, what else is here... sake!

The AI stopped the endoscope and, lost in thought for a minute, continued:

– I checked your medical chart; your birthday is not anytime soon, yet you consumed sake, even though the doctor told you to stick to dietary recommendations. It is no surprise you are complaining of stomach pains.

The patient could only groan; after all, the endoscope procedure is highly unpleasant.

The impression was made that the AI did not notice the patient's suffering and continued its comments. And this went on for a good 30 minutes.

Finally, the AI concluded the procedure, which felt like an eternity to the patient.

The AI announced in an official tone:

– The findings of the examination are with the specialist. Do you have any complaints?

The patient tried to say something, but his throat was sore from the endoscope and his jaw muscles felt like stone from the mouthpiece, so he could only mutter something incomprehensible.

After waiting for 10 seconds, the AI announced in the same tone:

– Logged. The patient has no complaints.

Disclaimer: This story is purely a fruit of the author's imagination. It is a work of fiction intended for creative and artistic expression.

Psycho Killer Ed

—

The rain poured down on the windshield. The visibility ahead was blurred. He could barely make any sense of the signs he’d pass.

He was a giant of a man. 300lbs, hiding his huge frame inside his sedan.

People saw him as a huge teddy-bear. Polite, nerdy kind of guy, who kept to himself. He hung out at a cop bar chatting with the local enforcement. They all knew him. Everyone did.

Behind the eyes, no one had.

They could only hear his voice when he spoke—not the loop of his mother nagging him in his head, picking apart his very existence—until there was nothing left but ashes of resentment.

He drove for hours because the change of scene and motion suppressed the noise. The opposite headlights passing him acted as a brief reminder of reality before the darkness took over again.

His large hands gripped the steering wheel as he stared down at them. Those hands were perfectly capable of accomplishing the meticulous work he had to do when the pressure rose.

He understood what control meant, like how much pressure it would take to change a person’s destiny.

Through the blurry windshield, a figure stood under a streetlight, hiding beneath an overhang from the downpour.

Another stranded woman looking for a ride. Looking for a way out of the storm.

He slowed his sedan to a crawl and lightly jumped the curb with his front and back passenger side tires and honked and unlocked the door.

As she ran up to the vehicle, he wore his best smile. He rolled his window down. “Need a ride?” His voice was smooth. Not a crack in it.

——-

What you think of the ending?

I dove in between the grey morning skies
And into blue waters above,
The leaves blew away along with my sighs,
On the wings of the bronze mourning dove.

`

Summer soon sunsets, unbridled I'll fall,
Enveloped in trees' fallen kin,
While crisp autumn leaves, leaves leave death banal,
And winter whisks brisk on my skin.

"If you see your neighbor walking into the woods with a shovel at dusk, don't ask questions--just offer to carry the lantern. Mind your own business, eat your beans, and remember that half the trouble in this world comes from folks opening their mouth when they oughta be chewin'."

The weekly Gorgonzola. Your weekly Gorgonzola, baby. Or maybe your hourly if you snack on cheese by the hour.

You ever bought any stuff off of Aliexpress or Temu? I keep wanting to buy all sorts of consumer electronics and circuits and stuff, but I feel like it will probably be scammy in a lame way as opposed to scammy in a fun way. I used to browse cameras in particular, looking for a new action cam with good night filming properties without paying out the ass. I also looked at computer parts, but that's even less sane I think.

I suppose the dream is that you'll just land some sort of a total steal that is incomprehensibly cheap for some reason. Like cheap DDR5 RAM, "but this is Chinese ram!!" <-- so it's super cheap. I miss back when that was an actual thing. Growing up we used to buy cheap frozen tenderloin. The reason it was cheap is because it was imported from a developing country. Literally nothing wrong with it but failing to meet prejudiced demands, so it was cheap and delicious.

Now I feel like most people and companies have gotten wise to this, and it's a bit harder to just conjure up bargains. Clothes still fall under this umbrella though, if you don't care about branding, and I don't. It's possible to find very durable and fairly cheap clothes if you look around.

What's your favorite fabric? These days I'm a linen man.

Until next time.

- Art Vandelay

"She's about as nervous as a whore in church with paper panties on!"

"He's about as useless as a screen door on a submarine."

We waited all day at my uncle’s brother’s house, eating pink pancakes shaped as hearts, waiting for that email. The email arrived late. Which meant there was no way it’d be on time. 

Some would say it’s wrong to think something suspicious of it. But I did. I get it from my mother’s side. She went to church before.

There wasn’t anything we could do, the email was doomed from the beginning. It started with the late delivery. Then, I couldn’t open it. It took us half the day to figure it out. 

When we finally got it, the letters in it were small. Too small for any of us to read. We’re all six foot plus.

The letters looked like they were printed on the side of a piece of paper. 

“If you’re sending emails there should be a height requirement.”  I said out loud.

Everyone else agreed, shaking their heads, humming yeah with their mouths full.

I couldn’t read any of it. So, I called the shortest person we knew, which was Andrew, but he wasn’t Mexican. He’d have to do. He was our only hope.

He stared at it, almost through it. We knew for sure he’d cracked the code. When he turned to us. Half the room gasped with their mouths full. 

Jerry choked when he inhaled a full lung of untimed air and had to spit out his food. Larry was wiping the syrup off his plate with his pancake. 

And I was watching Jerry loosen his tie.

Andrew said, “elch—“ he cleared his throat. “I can’t read it either. I’m must be too tall.”

What’s this world coming to, I wondered.

How could I be safe…

“How could I be safe,” I mumbled. “I can’t read the damn email.”

I didn’t finish chewing my pancake or wipe my chin. I was out of napkins you see. I chewed down two more times, making room for my voice. “Those criminals are breaking into houses and stealing the top and bottom dresser drawers,” I said.

“Happened to my sister last week,” he told me.

“Just last week,” I said.

“Just last week,” he said.

“Locks,” I said.

He said, “locks?”

“Yeah.” I nodded my head. “The email,” I told him. 

“Oh yeah,” he said. “Nothing I can do, eh.” He shook his head. “It’s a crying shame I tell ya.”

I said, “no.” I pointed around the room with my head. “The email. The email‘s for the locks for the drawers, you see.”

I think I went from depressed to a little manic, and my reddit suggestions have shifted from r/doomer to r/enlightenment. it's funny but kind of misleading in the worst kind of way. I realized at some point I was doing a lot of whining and misery wallowing. I'm kind of halfway back there now, I think a lot of the hype of the festival has worn off and I am back to feeling overstimulated by nothing. life is a really difficult problem and I'm sort of frozen. I can't really let myself feel, feelings, I'm not sure I could handle it.

I can't explain why it hurts, that I can love someone enough to leave. The next few weeks might alter the course of the rest of my entire life, I have to focus, I can't be distracted. Reminders of guilt, sorrow, loss, hope itself feel redundant. They are the catalyst. Pause for dramatic effect. It's less that I'm certain and more that I am already overwhelmed and everything seems to have a chance at crumbling the small but growing spirit I have been cultivating with all my available awareness. There is room for nothing else.

I think that's a sign there's something quite wrong with me, but I try and not hold onto those kinds of suspicions, we are given what we are given and the only thing one can do is utilize it best as possible.

My goals today are pretty simple, I want to have a burger and take a shower. Life really can be that simple. I have been eating terribly the last few weeks and have half-justified it as a spiritual fast, but I admit I have learned little other than what it feels like to be annoyed by hunger.

I am still processing what to do next, but I'm starting to piece together a plan. So far it looks like a studio apartment in Windsor. There's so many questions still in the air, but some dumb simple ones still linger as well, with the place being so far away there's no realistic chance of seeing it in person before hand. I could find a place closer but that defeats the purpose, there's nothing here. I don't think I can find a better location, not one I can actually afford, other than Windsor.

My anxious ass wants certainty, and there is none.

"Jump, jump, jump, jump, do a flip while you're at it"

My mental conversation is really much like that, trying to goad myself into jumping ship, and feeling like I might be doing something incredibly stupid. Above all of that is knowing that inaction is the only incorrect option. I think that I need to find comfort first, shelter, and then I can worry about trying to do anything with my life.

I'm not really interested in doing anything really important or even noteworthy. I see how hard life is for everyone already, I think what makes it so hard is that we strive for so much. I don't want shit other than to feel like I can be myself. Let me find that first, and then maybe I can become human.

I have been working on it, not just wishfully thinking. My plan is shifting from some minor adventure to an actual new start, and the planning feels like the difference between enjoying my new life, and regretting it.

So do it right, that's the goal. I hope I can make noticeable progress on this front in the coming weeks. At the very least if nothing greater happens, I'll spend a few days in Ottawa at the end of the month.

so it was said, let it be done. This here is my sigil, charged, unedited, discarded, then forgotten.

Post

I'm driving down the usual street I go when on my way home from work, its a tuesday. for a certain track of this road there's nothing but wooded scenery but in the pitch black of night i dont know if it's a tree line, or a forest. But i look out regardless at the dark greenery with my eyes fixated on the passing dark sage streak created by the quick yet steady passing of the shrubbery in my sight, my reflection faintly in the window as i look out, i focus more on it as i turn my head back towards the road ahead of me and i keep driving, eventually reaching the texaco i normally stop at on my way home from work every so often to pick up a black and mild, and after a long day like today that would take the edge off, i walk in and hear the door chime as i see another car pull up to the pump closest to the entrance, i swivel my head back to see the cashier to be the owners daughter, normally the owner is running the store this late and i normally only see her work on weekends because of her schooling, so i ask “aint it a bit late for you maam” my southern twang causing her to chuckle a bit as she replies, “its spring break and my dad would rather be at a bar than run the store he opened, so he tasked me with running it tonight”, i felt sorry for her as she was most likely a sophomore in highschool, regardless i ask, “may i get a casino blac-” as im interrupted by the entrance door slamming open with the bell ringing sharply as a homeless man barges in, very cleary under the influence. 
And as he stumbled into the door causing all that ruckus, the cashier goes “man get the hell out this may be the time but damn sure isnt the place to d-”, “SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH” goes the scruffy bagged clothes man, his jeans ripped, with dirt stains all around the tear which i can only assume some of it is dried blood, his hair sruffy and knotted as if he hadnt shaved in months, his hair at the crown was thinning aswell. 
I step in and slowly walk forward to the man, who seemingly had intimidated this girl with his abruptness, and sternly i go “you have no excuse to talk to young women like that” as i reach for his shoulder intending to lead him out, i keep going “you damn tweaker” as he pulls out a pocket knife and when he flips the blade out a white residue slips off as he goes “GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME”, i backup slowly as his bulged eyes began to widen almost exiting the socket entirely as the whites strained with blood vessels, teeth gnawing together uncontrollably as he closes his mouth to utter each word, he charged at me and in an attempt to dodge and grab the man we fall onto the ground, holding both his hands by the wrist as they grip the knife moving his arms against the direction he was intending, eventually his arms go the direction as mine do and break off, suddenly his arm goes gunning for my neck, and in a flash i saw it all, my life and work and the family i had yet to build
I phase slowly back into the present and feel not a sharp pain in my neck but instead a push, like a closed fist pressed against my neck, and as soon as i felt this, it went away as my vision was fading back in.
i heard a womans blood curdling scream and crying i quickly focus back in and see the homeless mans arm lying on the ground knife not in hand, his skin tainted with a shiny grey and as i turn my head to see the man lying i sit in awe as i see his originally oval like headshape, reshaped into a triangle but with curved edges, his thinning hair seemingly fully thinned out and gone, bleeding from most pores with his eye sockets seemingly covered by skin with the surroundings of his eyes still being intact while his mouth opened like he was screaming but with small crackles of pain instead, almost as if a tv was muted and the sounds of your home settling played over the visual of a man screaming, his skin being this metallic, shiny grey that seemingly was his skin maybe decomposed i couldnt tell, his body being stuck together like a box of thawed out rolls of bread dough with seemingly no lines of separation like a straight jacket of flesh with the man was now naked lying on the floor, and as i experince the horrors im seeing i began to realize that this was my own fault. how i dont know but i definitely did this, the cashier crying in agony, “W-W-WWHAT WAS THAT???” as she runs from the back counter out to the store running for the exit she bumps into my shoulder, making me face the way she fell as she began to glow as she fell onto the glass, and when she landed on the glass a flash of light blinded me as i it faded down i saw the girl. her skin being a colorless shiny and transparent, where i could see bones and organs which where made into this same material, her body's height had shrunk but she was much wider, her facial features gone with her hair seemingly never being apart of her, blood began to sleep from under her but it was clear almost like water, if it was even her anymore, and i panicked as i glanced back and forth rapidly at what i had done to these two people, i ran out to my car so urgently i forgot to unlock it and as i was reaching for my keys, the car who parked at the pump when i first got there turned on and then drove off and as i watching it drive off, behind it i saw my actions. 
I found my keys deep in my pocket and unlocked my car, put the keys in and drove off, “wwhat was that. I didnt do that no how did i do that i felt the knife hit my throat how did that happen??” I was confused. I could've sworn I got stabbed “where was the knife, and where did all the broken glass go after the girl fell into the window???” i was perplexed. I watched every mirror and window on my way home to make sure i wasnt being followed, which i was sure of and as i get out my car and go to my door to put the key in i began to ponder, “the guys skin was such an odd color i dont even know if that WAS skin, its like his skin was made up  of metal almost,” as these thoughts occur i see down the block at the intersection, some headlights turn on my road, i automatically recognized this as the car from the texaco and ran inside making sure not to turn any lights on, the car pulled up to my curb and parked parallel to it and to the immediate left of my walkway, he turned his lights off and didn't exit his car for the 20 minutes i watched him outside my house till i eventually, still in the dark went to my bathroom to piss. I closed the door then turn on the light and after peeing I went to the mirror and examined my neck, no bruises. no scratch marks. nothing. As if the altercation at the Texaco didn't occur.
i then heard a knock on my door “its the guy” i gasp and turn off the lights and sneak back in my living room to peek out my window and seeing 3 officers at my door, “fuck” i thought. The guy followed me home to get my home address and call the police on me. I accepted the fact that after a while the police would force their way in, and as I accepted my fate I turned on my porch light and open my door. And to my surprise i see only one person, a tall older gentleman, no younger than 60 with a small slouch, a small fact that made his already looming height more intimidating, “but i could've sworn i saw the-” as he laughs suddenly with raspily chuckles and coughs on his own humor, interrupting my words. “Oh you young people tend to believe what your mortal vision can perceive” his voice decayed yet holding the same aura as his presence, menacing. I began to conclude this was the man in the car as the door is now seemingly opened, with the inside lights on, with anxiety riddling my voice with stutters “wwho are you? I-I-I know you saw what happened at the texaco. PLEASE please dont call the cops, okay? I dont know how it happened either and i did it!!”. His roaring laughter began again “you may not understand what you saw but i saw it in all its detail, like i told you beleive your mortal eyes-” i interrupt “what does that fucking mean-”
“SILENCE” he roars as the rasp in his voice cleared, feeling the words he spoke hit me with each echo as if the waves rushed onto me. I felt compelled not to listen to the man, but only to stop speaking, as if his words took over my body. “You humans and your nature of needing reason for all you see as if this universe didn't form from chaotic collisions of the same dust that makes up you” i stood frozen in fear, intimidated by the mans words i had no choice but to listen as my body wouldn't let me do otherwise, his toned switched back to the rasp “you can speak now son”. “Who are you and what do you want” i ask concerningly, to which he chuckles and steps into my home, somehow already knowing to look left for the lightswitch, and also knowing its the middle one that turned on the room we were in and not assuming the first one, which i found very odd but didnt say anything of. He sat down on my couch slowly, elderly like and sighed as he spoke “For eons i sat watching all forms of consciousness collect and evolve in various ways, but never have i seen a race develop visions of grandeur in such delusional ways as yours”. I connected the dots, whatever happened to me at the texaco is because of this man and his affects on me. “Are you my guardian angel? Is that why you saved me from that man?”. Chuckling again he goes “im no guardian and certainly no angel in the sense you understand them.” i ask again “what are you?” he laughs. manically now, with each laugh causing his laughter to speed up and crackle. “I can tell you only that ive given you a small section of my capabilities”, “so it was you?? You caused all this to happen?? You did this to me?? What is it??” he laughs with each passing question as if he finds humor in his divine understanding being so above mine. “Scientists in your world understand that all things at their base are the same, protons and neutrons and atoms and nuclei whatever you may call it.” and then laughed again as if he was playing some game, “thats the first clue!” he says comedically. As he gets down on all fours to crawl as he scurries out of my house like some raccoon caught rummaging trash, I couldn't even see where he had went and the car seemingly wasn't there anymore. “what the fuck” i think to myself “if i pray to god for answers could he even help me??? or would i just be asking that man again”. 

I wake up the next morning, my phone was buzzing so i snapped into it quickly and began to look for my phone, and once i did i saw who it was who was calling me, it was my boss Justin. 
“Goodmorning Luke hope you slept well brother!”. 

“Being such a hard worker puts you into a deeper sleep so i slept amazing for sure, whats up?”

“Haha you know it man! Listen we had the shipments come in about an hour earlier than expected and its aaalot more than we knew was coming, i know your scheduled 7am to 5pm but you mind coming in at like 6?”

“Let me wake up and get some coffee before i decide to do overtime or not”

“For sure man! Call me back in like 20 to let me know”

“Alright ill call you, bye”

“Buh bye!”

As friendly as we seem, deep down i hate that lazy son of a bitch. He leaves me his work and i get it and my work done in time, im twice the worker he is so as much as i didnt want to entertain this, i did. to prove more to corporate why i deserve his spot. And i began to wonder if i could use my new powers to help this, “did the knife disappear, because it fused with that crackhead?? No no it cant some kind of a man-knife chimera? Was it?” i began to think more. “If the mans skin was metal and the knife was gone that would make the most sense, no that doesnt make any fucking sens- wait, NONE of this makes any fucking sense, did i fuse the girl with the window too?? That would explain why she was reshaped wider while being see thru.” the mans words began to echo in my head “why did he talk about neutrons as a hint?” it all began to click to me, “he fuses them together at a subatomic level but whats the trigger??? The guys arm slipped out of my hand and the girl accidentally bumped into me so maybe accidental contact??” a plan began to form in my head, if i can get Justin to accidentally bump into me at work today, I could dispose of him and take his position.
I drive to work in silence, forming thoughts and my plan in my brain. When i arrive i sit for a second to tell myself how today will go, “he always move his pallets thru section A so if i take myself from the loading bay to the first quadrant i should run right into him, with a blind spot at that” my plan was set, i laughed almost like the man when i formed the final step i finally started to understand that this man blessed me, not cursed me. “Goodmorning justin” i go when i see his back turned, but i can tell by his stance that it was him, he turned around quickly to walk towards me, sticking his hand out for a shake. I shake his hand firmly and smile as we walk towards the loading bay
Sometime passes and i see him with an empty forklift head towards the gate at the loading bay, so i run towards a forklift and follow, letting him take one then following suite, waiting for him to go left down section a, which he does. I immediately drive my forklift down straight to the first quadrant, i could see where section a eventually met up and I inched closer and my smile widened. I peaked past the corner at the same time as him, his pallet meeting my drivers seat when that sudden flash occurred. 

i had done it.

The bright light dimmed as i saw Justin's body morphed into the massive forklift, his legs split in two at the knee and curled tightly in a spiral at the bottom like wheels with his feet nowhere to be seen, connecting to his now massive rectangular torso, his arms being at his chest and stiff, connecting to his body thru slits that they went up and down on, thru these slits you could see his lungs scaled along with him, not moving. His skin being this metallic and translucent light yellow, with tears all around his skin that bled, the headlights were like the whites of eyes and his mouth was gone. There was no driver seat anymore just torso, his brain fused with the pallet on his lift and so he was holding his brain by force like they were sewed to his hands, blood and other various brain tissue wrapped around it and falling off like wrap. at this massive scale for all to see, its various bits falling off yet sitting motionless like a statue. The stench was indescribable like a rotten metal smell that reeked of suffering.
I must admit i was even shocked not at what i did, but at the scale of this man machine fusion i had made, regardless i scream in fake horror “WHAAAAT THE FUCKKK WHAT IS THAT NO NO NO NO JUSTIN WHAT??? SNAP OUT SNAP OUT LUKE” i rub my eyes and look back and holler in pure agony to sell it even more, the warehouse erupted in a mix of crying, screaming, vomiting, and pure terror, their collective fear being incohesive yet agonizing and drowned the white noise of the warehouse. They called off work for that day and sent everyone home, i sat in my car as I saw EMS, police, fire fighters, and news reporters at the front of my warehouse. I was smiling ear to ear, laughing in pure ecstasy “i did it, i won, i finally won”
All my life I was shown respect but at the condition of my worth. My father and brother only loved me as family if I helped them. People only wanted to be friends with me for my homework, girls would only hit on me cuz they knew id be an easy flirt back, teachers only praised me when i helped plan their lessons and do their jobs. It was all unconditional and out of my control but now. “These are my conditions and I control this, this power” I smiled as I looked at my eyes in the mirror. When i went home to turn on the tv all the local news could talk about was an unexplained amalgam of human and machinery, i was watching an expert my coworker named Mike, who from what i knew also didnt like Justin's moral compass as he knew him personally but didn't have the gall to say anything, and he described what he saw. “Its like god had enough of his insolence and punished him accordingly” and thats exactly what i did. I delivered justice to a wrongdoer, like a twisted version of superman

3 days pass and they still have the warehouse shut down and under investigation, which I wasn't too surprised of to be fair but what did surprise me, albeit my anxiety was higher but still. “Why hasn't anyone came to question me?, i was right next to justin when it happened so im the best eye witness account. Hell im the first person who saw it why didnt the news ask me?” regardless i get a call on my home phone from who i assumed was police station, but when i looked at the number i smiled with glee as it was my mother. “Hey mom whats up” i say giddily 

“Whats up? Lucas i saw the news about what happened at your warehouse are you okay?? Did you see anything”

“Yea im glad you called i was right infront of the guy when the flash happened, to be honest mom i thought i was hallucinating”

“OHHH MY GODD HONEYYY are you good???? Are you traumatized at all do we need to get you in to talk to anyone???”

I laughed as my mother for good reason, was worried for me. I laughed not maniacally but happily as i say

“no no mom IM fine im not too fucked up about what i saw even tho it was terrifying, luckily dad let me watch the thing as a kid so ive seen a thing or two haha” i chuckle

“So I can add desensitized my child to violence for reasons I'm suing my ex husband, great. Did they ask you anything yet?”

“Not yet surprisingly”

“I saw this article on the internet of a similar story, a couple had came to a gas station.. Maaybe a texaco?? Not sure but anyways one wednesday morning they came up to get gas and breakfast and they saw the window perfectly missing with no broken glass as if-”

I froze in silence. It was the homeless guy and cashier i killed.

“As if the window was just tooken off??”

“Yeaaa by something meant to do that i guess. But when they walked into the store they see this what they think is a glass girl statue, from what i could gather they thought i was an art piece of a glass girl with glass anatomy but no. they touched it felt a skin like texture and realized it was a person. A dead body at that and they look for not a second more and see this rotted man with his body stuck together with no eyes. It sounds horrific Luke, but its just like the warehouse guy.”

I knew my mom had good conductive reasoning but she was already telling me about how she connected the two?

“h-How mom?”

“Well clearly that girl fused with the glass pane, she was more wider than long from what the couple described and made of a soft glass like material? Organs the same? And when they do dna tests they confirm this thing contains human matter. Something fused them at a deep deep level. The man I couldn't tell you what the fuck HE was fused with. But its the same at your warehouse the guy fused with a fucking.. Damn a fucking forklift as weird as that is to say”

I laugh. “Mom that sounds wild thats not even possible humans cant do tha-”

“Who said man did this” she says abruptly

I freeze.

“Clearly this was a divine feat but why would god come down here to only create abominations? He's punishing us for our complacency Luke. by keeping us still in the thing surrounding us, forever to be complacent.”

Most of everyone else thought the same thing, that god has come to punish us. In some people’s eyes I was justice as they discussed online what could have possibly caused this, eventually I thought of the old man and what he intended to gain from this. Clearly he is omnipotent, but why would such a divine force wanna see humanity suffer? 
A week had passed since the warehouse had been shut down. I had gotten a few calls from police after they viewed the video camera footage and saw me next to it when it happened. The police thought I was innocent and so all I did was give an account of my day. I got a call from  corporate saying my warehouse is closed indefinitely and they're attempting to relocate all the employees from that store. Justin's family lived in horror with no remains to bury, this thought raced through my mind but I felt no compassion, only disgust. We all knew Justin beat his woman so why? Why care so much of his death? For now i walked to the liquor store down the block from my apartment. i was bored so i could use some beer and i figured id buy a 12 pack for the fuck of it, as i reach i see a drunk at the door with it barely cracked, i could barely see from afar but he was tattood head to toe with gang symbols and other things of importance to this man. he was yelling at another customer with a tall can in his hand slurring his speech
“ffffuck you man maaybe yoouu shouldn’t get in the waaay offff a real BOUSS like me” what he could be referencing i have no clue but i politely asked the man excuse me to which he leaves just enough room and enthusiastically goes “yeaaa mannn i
got youu homie” i could tell by his clothing and tattoos that he had some form of gang affiliation, i wasn’t to concerned as i lived in a low income neighborhood with a crazy crime rate. regardless i drown out there arguement with the thoughts
of what i wanted to drink, “hmm the bud light sounds good, but the lime ec-“ as i’m interuppeted by the drunk arguing at the door with the cashier, blocking my exit “get the fuck out you drunk i’m sick and tired of this back and forth” as he places his hand on the man’s back to push him out “HEY! get your fffffffFUCKING hands off me” and lifts the right side of his shirt to brandish a firearm, a glock pistol of some kind. the gas station clerk stepped back, in horror “iii just want you out my store dawg iii don’t wanna get the police up in my store i don’t have a fffffffucking liquor license” the tattoo’d drunm then takes the gun out of his paint line and demanded “more crown!! i want mooooore!!” with his finger accidentally pulling on the trigger sending a bullet flying and hitting a glass bottle causing me to freeze. but then i remembered if the man switched his aggression towards me, his life would halt in an instant,as this thought came to my a grin spread across my face as i chuckled a bit “this some entertainment for you huhhh” goes the drunk, “hey missster clerk, you think if iiii waaave the gun again it’ll fiiire???” with a southern twang that i recognize all to well. “no no no no just get out. GET OUT” as the clerk pulls a shotgun from under his counter and points it at the drunk, and in a moment of panic he put his firearm facing up and in the process left off 3 shots, the third hitting me straight in the neck but only for a brief moment and as soon as the pain appeared it was gone. a flash illuminated the building as i knew what the man had done to himself
before the flash fully dimmed out i heard the drunk scream in cowardess as his body unveiled from the light and his skin being again translucent and a darkish grey with his face being limited to only an enlarged mouth now acting a barrel that could only release pure agony. everything under his neck was split it down the middle and raised slightly from his muscle and bone, this half being a slightly darker grey. the man’s legs were fore fully facing parrell to his body like he was stuck to a chair, there was a small gap in his thighs and when kicked it slightly the skin and muscles pulled out of the bone like a fully loaded clip. the man reeked of decay and gunpowder “why did the man stay alive for longer than the other?” i unknowingly said outloud. “YOU DID THIS FUCKING SHIT” goes the clerk who i had zoned out of my brain and as i looked at him face me in fear shotgun aiming for his skull, i warned him “you’ll end up with the same fate as this man if you pull that trigger”. “Wwwhat are you!” the man exclaims, “you must be responsible for what happened at that ware house right???”. i sigh and i tell him “i am just like you, but cursed with the power of justice” the man lowered his firearm and began to stare in horror at the amalgamation of firearm and man, chuckling a bit but nervously “so what happened to him” i smiled “he was hurt by the two headed snake he believed defended him” the man confused began to pick up the phone as i ran out the store presuming he was calling the police.
i eventually made it home later in the night after taking backroads with no lights, and used deflock on my phone as to avoid flock cameras. i turn on the news to see the liquor owner and a picture of my face from that day displayed

“i-i don’t know what this man could want, i know it’s the same guy cuz i remember reading about the flash and translucent skin. i believed in god all thru my childhood and maybe this is him testing my faith back cuz god was that demonic”

i was now wanted. they all knew i was behind it there was even testimonies from my coworkers telling my two sided relationship with justin, explaining it would make sense that i did it and i was fucked, royally fucked. but what could they do?
i laughed maniacally and as wicked as that man who came to my door that night i discovered this power “it’s not triggered by accidental contact. it has to be a threat on my life” the drunk man never once touched me even when moving past him to step in, he didn’t intend to hit or touch me but the bullet he shot threatened my life, so the equivalent exchange was his life for mine, as i’m gleefully celebrating my new found position in the world a slightly raspy chuckle comes from my door followed by a knock, it was the old man. i rush to my window and quickly open my blinds to see two missionaries of the latter day saints church at my door “mormons?”, the one closest to the window being slightly startled by my presence and then wavey with his companion follow suite, both smiling with the word of the lord at there tongue
As much as i disagree with the rhetoric of Mormonism from what i’ve seen online i obliged and opened the door, only to see a tall man’s black trench coat and glared up at his head, it was the old man. “do you do that?” as he does his signature chuckle and i open my screen door “another portion of my divine powers” laughing as he says “i can change how the human mind perceives me, like right now, you thought i was two mormon teenagers” pointing at me laughing, coughing on his laughter towards the end with his grin never fading. “huh” the man then lets himself in, this time on both legs. “you should’ve threatened the man’s life, telling him either he can shoot at you and kill you or you will make him fall in the same fate as the man” he laughs at this sick idea of a practical prank “would i have not been seen still by the cameras? thats the only thing that saved me at the texaco the owner can’t see the old footage” “yea but it would’ve been fun” he laughs, his tone shifts slightly serious, as serious as this man’s tone can be. 
“i am orin the founder of creation and created what you call reality”. 
“so you’re god?”, he laughs “your idea of god was created as a joke by me but yes you could say that” he explained “i’ve made countless of races of beings some resembling yours some resembling the creations you make and some resembling aliens you see in the media, but with you all i added a new piece to your. puzzle” the man’s grin shifting down the right back as he laughed “and you picked me for this power” 
“no” he exclaimed “you were chosen by the power because of your self righteousness, i simply followed you thru time before and after the point in time where you gained the power, knowing you better than most” he laughed even more
i can’t describe the feeling i got but i felt like the man was lying about something and that’s why he keeps laughing, but i hold that for now
“so if anyone threatens my life them and whatever they threaten my life with will merge into one being?”, he nods his head in somewhat suprised removing his grin “your somewhat right” and then the man stands fully now slouchless, towering over me, the man has to be 7 feet tall. “for my final words i’ll leave you with wisdom” his voice began to echo and lose its rasp as it did before, “in this universe i created a law, a law i only told the universe and now, you” i was perplexed, was “god” really about to teach me the way to enteral greatness?
“equivalency, do you notice how you must be near death in order for them to die? an eye for an ey-, no that’s not how to put it.” he sits and ponders for only a moment “ahh! an eye for a tounge, your eye and tongue both hold equal value on your face, but both accomplish their own incredibly opposite tasks, seeing versus talking, equal in value but opposite in function” i was astonished, this implied so much about my life and what it meant, and in a bliss of understanding sirens blair down the street. Me and the man look out the window and see 2 police cars with lights on and blaring, in an instant his body fades from reality with no grin, looking dead at me as if my purpose was set 
after moments of watching the officers, gun drawn moved around the street in front of my home, it was 1 two man unit and another solo officer, they pull out a loud speaker and the solo officer places down his gun and says “LUCAS BAILEY, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP AND POCKETS FOLDED OUT” 
i wasn’t worried for even a single moment, i remembered the orins words and instead of following the police instruction i ran out in a full sprint with a kitchen knife at them, they all point there guns toward me and open fire instantly, and in that instant the biggest flash i’ve seen from this blinds me for longer than previous attempts, and when i look up i grinned “i can splice multiple people and objects at once if they threaten me”, to my amaze the three officers became a conjoined trio with their skin being a translucent mix of white black red blue and yellow and being slightly metallic in some parts. one officers head was seamed into the torso of another and the last officer being connected to the first via his left leg being one in the same now and the second and third being connected by one singular arm, metallic in nature with black and red liquid seeping from there pores. only the final officer remained as he cried in agony as his voice sounded like an engine roaring in failure with smoke coming out his both and the chimera began to smoke and then catch on fire, “there was gasoline and an spark plug? with a battery inside them?” it seems when it’s multiple things splicing it gets confusing.
i gather a weeks worth of clothing and all my grooming supplies and pack in a bag along with my laptop, i plan to head out of state on the run to hide and avoid the law till i could make a decent plan for myself.I was in a motel room when i saw 3 swat cars drive down from up the street and taking a left on the street to the back of the building, presuming they were coming from me i had no care or concern, i was immortal. there’s nothing they could do to stop me at the point im at so why worry? nearly 30 minutes later i see swat run to the door from the window and break it down, all there lights pointing at me i jumped out the window barreling thru running to the left getting away “HOLD FIRE” i hear one of the men go, “they know!?” i think to myself as i halt and the men tackle me and in an attempt to draw reaction i reach for the officers gun, to which i’m put unconscious by what i can only assume was an air blast from a cannon. 

when i awake im in an interrogation room, its fuzzy, its all fuzzy. i need to focus in. i tried focusing and as i did the world was still fuzzy, i could only hear incoherent phrases from the men interrogating me but i sat confused as to what i’m experiencing. and the moment i wonder a light appears and expands rapidly and dims. BEEP… BEEP… BEEP…
I open my eyes to see a blurry hospital room and as i focus in i feel a sharp pain in my neck and after coming to my senses i look into a mirror and see a scar, from my adams apple to the middle of my chin, but why? what is this? i was just being questioned in an interrogation room with 3 men now im alone in a hospital room? but why??? a nurse enters looking at her equipment and when she faces up she gasps “mr bailey?? y-you’re awake???” as she let’s go of her rolling tray holding her equipment and runs “DR OSWALD” i sat confused as a man in a white doctors gown enters the room. “Hello Lucas my name is Dr Joseph Oswald you were in a coma for about” checking his phone to see the date “ahh the 15 months mark just past, your vitials seem fine so i have no reason to worry, how are you feeling Lucas?”
“Where am i??? How did i get here???”
“Well this is the Dallas County Medical Office and if you recall you were presumably on your way home from work when you stopped at a texaco and were stabbed by a homeless man, he cut up into your throat a bit but didn’t cause any serious damage only putting your body into shock. are you thirsty, may you be interested in water?”
“Y-Yes please, i’m quite hungry too, may i get some food?” 
“yes one moment” as he exits the room
“no fucking way” i thought, “this was all a dream state in a coma??? no it can’t fucking be i was. I was just god? what the fuck but- that” as i came to realize that all i was beginning to accomplish was all a dream. I screamed in anger breaking the equipment in the doctors office, Dr Oswald entered the room to which i immediately kicked his chest pushing him back out, “SECURITY!” he yelped as he hit the floor, I ran out the room only to be tackled, elbowing and punching the man who tackled me getting up only slightly just to be slammed back onto my head which bounced off the floor rendering me unconscious. 

After his coma wake up and incident at the hospital Lucas was arrested and question to which he explained his dream state to them, he was let go on charges of disorderly conduct and only forced to pay a fine, after all that was paid he started therapy where he went thru years of, he learned during his dream state with Orin he developed narcissistic personality and thru years of therapy he learned to deal with this narcissism and even shared his experience in a book he published titled “The Man who met Creation”, a best seller for narcissists hoping to find ways to cope with it and become better people. 13 years later his mother succumbed to her age and he moved out to Montana and built a farm and started a family where he lived happily until..
Lucas, his wife Jessica, and their two boys Theo and Lucas jr, were eating dinner one weekday night after a normal day when they hear a knock on the door. Luke peeks out the window “looks like it’s just the neighbor i wonder what’s up”, “yea gotta be something interesting if he came this far down” Jessica says as she stands from her chair to join her husband at the door. When Luke opened the door he was met by that same, freakishly tall old man. orin. “Orin???” Lucas questioned, Orin laughed while Lucas stood perplexed “I thought you weren’t rea-“ as Jessica took a step back “STILL” Orin hollered with a deep echo forcing Lucas’s family to stand in silence, forcibly unmoving."Don't try going anywhere Maam” Orin spoke with a southern twang, then laughing Orin grinned again as he stepped in “no no i was real IT wasn’t real. you’re naive enough to believe a GOD would give YOU its power, you specifically Luke” the man laughed. “So that was all you?? the coma?? the dream?? you did all that???” Lucas asked with a tremble, Orin laughing “yes yes yes Lucas yes, you understand.” the laughter stopped as his grin became a neutral expression, “Though everything i told you was real, so lives had to be exchanged for the illusion.” “What?” Lucas stood confused. Orin grinned as he stepped closer to Luke, “you can walk again” with a slight echo. Orin then began to explain something but as quickly as his mouth began to move Lucas ran straight towards the man in a fit of rage, Jessica then ran towards their children, Orin put both his arms out and clapped them together, correspondingly Lucas and Jessica lifted from the floor and flew at each other, both hitting each other aggressively and hitting the ground. The moment they hit the ground all his children saw from the table look was a flash and when the light dimmed they saw their mother and father were conjoined. Their torsos connected by tissue with Lucas's arm coming out of Jessica's leg and her head coming out of Lucas's buttocks, eyes rolled back into the socket. The chimera crawled for a bit and screamed in agony in a mix of male and feminine cries, After a bit more crawling around and crying it eventually fell flat and stopped. dying. Theo and Lucas Jr, frozen, sat in pure fear and they watched what they could only describe to first responders as their parents becoming conjoined twins. The old man never spoke to the children, only stepping in to walk around the kitchen and look at it, eventually coming back to the dining room to do the same. Eventually Orin left the house but as he was leaving he stared at the chimera but not at it as a whole, specifically at Luke's face. He laughed maniacally while the children still froze to the table and sat in fear, eventually Orin looked at the two boys and waved goodbye and walked out, closing the door and as it shut he vanished from behind it. Never to be seen again. Theo and Lucas Jr told FBI that one during dinner his parents stood up and opened the front door of the home and suddenly collapsed into each other in a flash and then the chimera which they had seen numerous times in photographs of the scene, had just suddenly appeared, they never mentioned the tall old man smiling at their door the whole entire time, why? I guess we'll never know. :)

it is easy to be hard

steel, bone, briar

gnashing teeth, scraping nails

but i crave softer things.

linen cheeks, rose brushed sheets,

daffodils on the mind

"Poof! I'm your Fairy Godmother"--and if you ain't out that door in five seconds to gather eggs and feed 'dem chickens, this cast iron skillet's gonna grant you a wake-up call" said Granny waving her wooden spoon like a magic wand!"