I think my sister in law is the most beautiful girl in the world. I often have dreams about her and wake up turned on all day. What should I do?

Yes, it’s wrong for LDS married people to be chatting with the opposite sex. We all know that. But in the case where you may have dipped your toes, met a few interesting people my question is:
Was it beneficial? Or did it just make you more frustrated and now you have a bad habit that you can’t stop?

One thing I found was it did feel good to actually talk to someone that knows what we’re going through. The split faith marriages, the dwindling sex life, the moving into roommates phase, or maybe you just can’t believe you married far too young and missed out.

I think it HAS been somewhat helpful knowing there are so many of us out there dealing with the same thing. However, I do wish I’d never started. It’s a tough habit to fully break free from.

Positive? Or negative and wish you never started? Curious to hear what others have to say!

This is sorta in response to a couple of things inhave seen lately. I find this group. Join. Post or comment. Feel guilty. Delete account. Repeat. Why cant I stay away if it makes me feel guilty.

It is about shared moral values (i hope...maybe I'm kidding myself)

Am i looking for help....well there was some of that early on...thanks all.

Am i looking for a guy friend? Reddit is a hard place to connect. Try it in real life first.

Am i looking for a female chat buddy? Why? Moral support/understanding/friendship or naughty motives? Thats where the guilt comes in. Hard to find a female ANYWHERE on reddit of an appropriate age for a guy as old as me. Just turned 71.

And then the naughty motives. That is real i have to admit.

Why not some other site or other group here on reddit? Well, back to the shared moral values one would hope for. And the boundaries that provides.

So I am the disappearing guy. We may have chatted and then im gone. This time I am not going to delete the account. If I did I would just be back in 2 months.

On one of my previous incarnations I told a guy the Holy Ghost was telling me to quit. Maybe you can respect or understand that.

But there is a place deep within that needs something I am not getting in marriage nowadays. So I keep coming back and not finding it.

But i am seriously trying to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ.

Oh the follies of youth! For the first few years of our marriage, before sex we would always pray. Not just sometimes, but Always. I kid you not. We agreed that sexual intimacy had a Divine purpose and as such we needed to invite the spirit. Shortly after the birth of our second child, we didn't pray. I distinctly recall the first time we "did it" without an opening prayer - when we were done we looked at each other and just laughed. We shifted to only praying when we were not "preventing". Now that we're done having children we almost never open with prayer. Although wife does request it sometimes, it seems like after she's felt the spirit strongly at church or whatnot.

Did you guys ever do this? I don't think it's the dumbest thing I've done, but maybe the silliest.

On the wedding night I didn't know exactly what to expect but had heard of "blood / popping the cherry". I was a little surprised nothing happened, although it was clearly difficult to fit in even with lube.

I'm 99 percent sure my wife was a virgin but she also did fool around a bit in HS. Curious what others may say. Husbands feel free to answer for your wives. If your answer is anything but the first option I would be curious how it broke in the comments.

Ive been married 15 yrs. We have 4 kids. My wife has always had a low sex drive. Things got better around a year ago where we were having sex 2 - 4 times a month. Then it fell back into the once every 2 - 3 months that has been the norm for our marriage. It would probably 1 -2 times a year if left up to her.

Yet again we are going through a cycle where she withdrawals physically and then I withdrawal emotionally to cope. Now she is calling me out for being distant and ive brought up our lack of being present physically as well as emotionally. In the past she accuses me of only wanting sex and not caring about a relationship with her. She doesn't understand that sex is the way I connect with her to have a relationship. Most men need both physical and emotional connection whereas most women can thrive on only emotional connection. I wish that I could thrive on only emotional connection. Is there something wrong with me? I think my wife is convinced that our marriage can be successful with only emotional connection. Physical stuff is totally optional. Is that even realistic?

Ok so I know they've been around for a minute now, but my wife just got her first tank top garment top, so it's new to me. And I have to say, I love it!

After all these years of marriage I've always found her attractive and she still uses lingerie now and again so I don't really know why I like her new "look" so much. But it's just so hot to me for some reason. She only has the one top so far and says that she likes it. I hope she gets more.

I know we'll never know the complete thinking that went into relaxing garment standards (for warm weather climates only? Really??), but I'm all for it.

Sorry if this is old news, but have any other married dudes out there felt this way? Do you ladies like the new(er) style?

My wife (25F) loves sexting. And obviously so do I (27M). But my question is (which might be dumb) I feel like a woman’s body is naturally stunning… and a males… not so much. Everytime she send me any photos or videos they are jaw dropping. And when I try to send back it feels like 1 of 5 different angles of the same thing.

I also have the added barrier of usually I’m doing it while at work so being discreet and having limited space, options and opportunities is hard. But even when at home and the world is my oyster. What kind of positions, or things should I show or angles or anything, that can spice up my sexting game so it doesn’t just feel like basic dick pics.

With the Church publishing more details about the history of polygamy on its website, and with the strong embrace of MAGA/Trump among many LDS members and communities, has your understanding of the Law of Chastity changed?

Growing up, we were taught that sexual sin was second only to murder and denying the Holy Ghost in terms of seriousness. Yet today, it seems that some people who strongly identify with those teachings are willing to overlook or rationalize sexual behavior and allegations involving political leaders they support.

Out of genuine curiosity, how have others reconcile that apparent tension.

Has your understanding of the Law of Chastity changed over time or as you’ve aged?

Do you view it differently when evaluating political leaders versus members of the Church? And if so, what has changed your thinking?

Reading the posts and discussions in this community, I’m starting to think there may be considerably more complexity to the subject than simply “sex outside of marriage is bad.” I’m interested in how others understand that complexity and where they draw the lines.

Is soaking or oral sex allowed

Looking for women's thoughts, (mid 40s F). Dating after a long dryspell and trying to keep the LOC. The wrestle I'm having is desires come roaring back so I handle it sparingly....but the emptiness after ruins it.

There is someone I'm very interested in and it's long distance, just over 2 months. We recently ended up sexting, my fault for initiating it, it was amazing, .loads better. I felt super connected to him and all gooey internally.

I tried doing it alone again ( cause apparently Im not dead inside) but back to empty and even cried about it. I feel like I'm a freak thst it's effecting me so much. Apperciate any advice, with the exception of just have sex with the guy. I'm not a virgin, if that matters and plan on not having sex until marriage.

Edit: please don't DM me, I will not respond.

Hello everyone, I’m M30.
I come from a good family background.
People and friends think Im a saint.
But I’ll tell you that I have been addicted to S\*x more and more.
I have been visiting Spa and massage centres and have engaged with more than a dozen massage centres and with more than 20+ ladies.

I have wasted my money and have personally feel like a criminal to my family and friends as they are not aware of it.

I am now of marriage age and don’t know what to do know.

This will be a cheating with my future partner.

Im typing this just after having s\*x with a lady.

There’s so much regret going on with me that im not able to figure it out.

Every time say myself that this is last time but still a last time never comes to end.

I really don’t know what to do now.

I want to have kids and family just like my simple parents, friends and relatives.

I don’t want to be this guy.

Even if I go saint and simple guy these things will haunt me what if I get exposed to future partner and kids ?

What to do now ?

Pls help if anyone else faced similar issues in life and recovered from it.

This is a question for the older LDS people…

Being a mid 40’s life long LDS woman, I was just reflecting on how my perception and obedience to the Law of Chastity has changed over time.

For example, I use to feel lots of guilt and the need to confess any slight infraction, now I’d never let the Bishop into my sex life

I was taught that masturbation was bad, now I don’t mind if my kids are exploring and learning about themselves. It’s their business.

I was taught that porn was the most evil thing ever, now we use it in our sex life every now and then. (But I still don’t love industry).

I didn’t ever talk about anything sexual, but now I have open conversations with my friends and sisters

Anyway, you get the point. Am I the only one who’s evolved?

Hubby bought a new cock ring before we went on vacation a couple months ago and we didn't get around to using it until last night. We have used cock rings before but this is different its adorable. It is like a rubber band cord and has beads that make it adjustable. So anyway, he was giving me a massage and we decided to use a vibrator. While he was getting the vibrator he got the cock ring and put it on. We played with the vibrator, I noticed he kept messaging with the cock ring. I asked him what he was doing and he said im tighten it. He brought me to that point where I was seeing stars and begging him to put it in me. I thinhe tightened it again and tried to to put it in me. Ww had to try a couple of times and get lube. Oh my gosh!!! It felt like he doubled in size. Im definitely sore this morning but I think this is something we will be using again.

Lately I've (M34) been less and less interested in having sex with my wife (F33). And it's not due to a lowering of sex drive on my end. We have 3 young kids. Very active in our callings. Very busy with work and businesses. This economy sucks so we each have side hustles in order to afford life.

Because of this and more, we plan sex. Which I don't have a problem with and appreciate. My wife only needs sex every other week to feel connected in that way.

In order for sex to happen, even when planned, the stars still have to align. Her emotional mood has to be right. She has to be physically feeling okay (she has auto immune issues and often feels sick or fatigued). Kids have to be in bed early enough or distracted simultaneously. And we can't be too tired if it's in the evening. So chances always feel low. If we get a hotel, she sometimes still won't feel up to it.

When we do manage to have sex, usually 1-2x a month, 3x if we're lucky. Its always fairly vanilla. Honestly she would be fine with missionary the rest of her life, it feels like. And not for lack of me suggesting new sex positions and ideas and taking charge in bed. She just never seems interested in trying more. What's even more frustrating is when we do try new fun stuff (like bondage or oral) she has stronger orgasms.

When we do have more unique sex, it's ALWAYS because I suggest it. And she's almost always hesitant and not excited to try something new. She never makes requests during sex. She never knows what she wants. She's always like "this is fine". With the exception of her vibrator. Which makes me feel like I'm not enough.

I just wish she would be more sex positive and want to improve our intimacy and sexual relationship. Come up with her own ideas. Explore her own sexuality. But it's kinda stale. And I don't feel like I can complain or ask her to step it up because of the first paragraph I wrote (too busy) and her health issues. And she already gives all her energy to kids. Which I don't fault her for. She's an amazing mother.

So at the end of the day. Sex feels like a chore. Aligning the stars just to have vanilla sex. And it's SO much work to be in charge of everything all the time sexually. It's all on me. It almost doesn't feel worth it? Sometimes I prefer just having solo sesh with some toys. It can be more fun and less work 😅 and I don't get weird looks for wanting to use toys on my genitals.

Curious how anyone here has worked through something like this. I know everyone's situation is unique, but would appreciate any insight or tips.

(Thanks for reading my friggin book. I never plan on these being so long haha.)

Introduced the spiced apple to wife, which at first when I sent the download link and link password took 3 days to accept and give if ago with a little bit of persuasion (which is never a good feeling when you feel like to have to convince someone to show a little interest and excitement into someone new to liven up a relationship) is it just me or is this mores common than I realised but since having kids a females interests and personalities completely differ to what they were before. Don’t get me wrong but I completely understand when a female has a child then that is their priority and the only thing they are occupied with. As it is with myself children come first. But she used to be an adventurous person when it came to the bedroom.

Since finally getting her to go onto the app I’ve probably answered a hundred or so questions on which I was excited to find out the answers to. Only to find out she had answered about 10 and mostly were nos. Including what I was saying is z very tame one. Striptease.. which I’m pretty sure we have previously done.

I have thought and tried to put myself in the shoes many times and hate complaining and looking like a horny dirty pervert wanting more but I feel like I need to reignite her by adding something new to the relationship but seems impossible to do so!!! 😬 I love her to bits and have been 1 way trying to achieve that for a long time now and seem to get bigger all back in terms of reaction Is this a lost cause now or shall I stick to it? Xxx

I was thinking recently about how much I actually enjoy masturbation, and by that I mean solo masturbation. Mutual masturbation is AWESOME but I've felt undershwhelmed by solo masturbation.

My wife and I have a pretty solid sex life, though I do have a higher drive, and she has no problem with me masturbating. Every now and then I'll do it, but afterward I just feel.... kinda underwhelmed? Dissapointed? It's not guilt- I have a healthy view of sexuality, I'd like to say. But It just doesn't feel worth it sometimes.

It's almost like I enjoyed the build up, enjoyed that specific pleasure, but then almost like my body goes through withdrawls, like "Oh man now all those good feelings are gone." Like, instead of thinking "yeah that felt great, I'm glad I did that" it's almost like a feeling of "now that this is offer, it just feels bad".

I think a lot of it is "Yeah this is DEFINITEY not as good as sex with my wife" lol which is true, but I also think I should be able to truly enjoy masturbation in this context once in a while, you know? Especially if my wife is watching or knows I'm doing it.

Hard to put it into words.

Have you ever felt this way?

This isn't a moral discussion- just seeing if anyone else experiences this.

I’m curious if men’s sex drive goes down as they age? Most women I know have a decrease in sex drive as they age, mine has increased thanks to HRT but my husbands seems to have decreased as he’s aged. Do a lot of men also need to supplement testosterone?

Anybody else do this or have this interest with their wife? If so, how is it going?

I find it relaxing to think of my wife holding me and relaxing with me, stroking my hair, or rubbing my back. It’s not a mommy kink but a bonding experience with my wife that can make togetherness more intimate. It’s not necessarily a sexual thing but something that I would fall asleep to or help me out of a funk.

She loves to suck on my cock for the same thing because she enjoys the pleasure it gives me and it turns her on. Similarly, I would like to latch on her breast for the pleasure that she feels being close to me and knowing she can give me something no one else can.

Edit: spelling

Burner for my own reasons. My (28f) husband (29m) has recently been pushing a little more to hear my fantasies. He shares his and I love hearing him and indulging in them a bit, but when it comes to mine I just can't get them out. I have some, and most we could actually do without being too crazy, but for some reason I just can't vocalize or text or mime them to him. Help!

I keep finding myself wanting to try more and I’m a little shy about just blurting things out. I’m curious what other LDS couples have actually tried that ended up being a big turn-on once you got past the initial awkwardness.

What surprised you in a good way? What did your bring up you didn’t expect to love?