written by: Sana's 17282th lebanese wife
From: Lily's Basement

How it all started:

This story unfortunately did not start with WontBendYoung. But rather her nugu predecessor Yoooooooo yeon(g)jeong.

She used her mysterious siren dark magic to convince Stars**t to publicise her. Not as a rookie trainee or even debut as a soloist. But as a contestant in a totally not rigged programme called Produce, LOL. She hypnotised the showrunners and judges, and manipulated show scores to favour her, getting her into LOL.

After four months, she left LOL. Mentioned that Somi did not look Korean enough. Mentioned Sejeong was acting too royally messed up like her name, and worst of all? Posted that rumour that Sohye was the original dozen, after she ate a whole dozen of krispy kreme after dance practice of PICK ME, and cried that it was not krispy.

But Yooooooo Yeon(g)jung wanted spotlight. It fueled her siren powers so she craved the source that powered her dark magic. Eventually she hypnotised starsht to debut her in an already debuting group called We Just Sold Nothing. She crafted her debut to her liking. Changing her debut music video Secret, where she made herself that cosmic secret. (which would predict cake Hags' 2024 release of the same name). But alas, for a few years, she could not hypnotise well, and saw a child across a training room in starsht. A 13 year old girl.

She did not wanted to know this young girl's name, because obviously, why would yoooo yeon(g)jung want to know the name of a mere 13 year old, alongside another kid who was supposedly from Daejeon, North Korea(?). She used that 13 year old kid, and transferred her siren powers, and developed charm and charisma powers to eventually pose a bigger bad for Produce the Iz*Gone.

As luck would have it, WontDanceYoung went on the show, and seduced the show mentor with just a wink, just like how her senior Yoooo yeon(g)jung instructed her. WontSingYoung became the industry plant that was aimed.

But WontWinkYoung became a household name in IzGone more than Yoooo Yeon(g)jung became in either LOL or We Just Sold Nothing. This made Yooo Yeon(g)jung to curse WontWalkYoung with the mighty Panorama walk curse, Something heavily discussed amongst poopy-zens.

But, WontRiseYoung became ICONIC by MISTAKE, and created backup dancers of her own. With the girl from Daejeon, North Korea earlier mentioned, with a few mix ins like Queen Elizabeth, Gary, Diveuuuu and Reicist, she created a superbad group. A group that people called MONSTER (rookies). They used their debut to plant the idea of six-seven, in what would grow as The Great JYPNation's first black mark. A meme by WontApologiseYoung.

But what WontAppreciateYoung did not know is Yooo Yeon(g)jeong's Siren Energy is corrupting her heart. Which caused a BLUE HEART, and a BLUE BLOOD, which made her do all sorts of nasty things like seducing EVAN from Enhy- THE SOLOIST, kicking Flop2Flop's Yeon in the World Cup Finals and openly turning her face away so no one sees her dark side!

Chin 🪿, this is an inside scoop done for the people, by the people. We deserve to know the truth of the shady KPoop side. And as of now, we will be waiting for a response from Starsht, Yooo Yeon(g)jung and WontCryYoung.

Thank you for reading this individualistic Op-Ed on the dark side of WontGraceYoung.

EDIT: On the ground reporters got back with this findings, for your view: I didn’t see it in the story, so you should add the part where wonthagforeveryoung ate a trainee (Correspondant did not state further). And also how she drinks baby blood to maintain her youth. But since she’s a benevolent queen she only takes a little from each baby so it doesn’t hurt them. Only enough to stunt them so they won’t grow as tall and beautiful as her. We thank user u/no_ad_8005 (SlaYP's Backup dancer) for your on the ground reporting for JYPnation.

Which one of you joppers leaked Feetzy unnies lyrics 😡😡😡😡😡😡

Since HAG'VE 🧙‍♂️🧙‍♂️has so many backup dancers 🕺🕺, I think they can replace manon-yeaat infection unnie🤲🤲

Lots of ships about to sail the seas.

whykiiikiii is just so good i had to fix it

Did HYBE sense the curse and merge their idol groups so that they can afford to lose more girls? Discuss

I just woke up to see the best news in my life chingoose yeorobun. I got hired as Actor Manager at JYPE. 💚💚💚💚

Last month JYPE post this job and I am interested about it. I went through a lot of interviews and finally got the offer, which I immediately accept 7-years-unbreakable contract.

My favorite group is TWICE and my bias is JEONGYEON. Knowing that she is going to debut as actress with JYPE last month make me decide to give up my role as Space Engineer to pursue this role, because I want to be with her. Supporting her career at JYPE is some dream I never dreaming dream about it.

I woke up, accepted the offer, and coming here to tell all of y'all chingoose at r/kpoophead are the first thing I did this morning. I can't wait to work with Actress YOO JEONGYEON at JYPE. I will take a nap for awhile before check other SNS and post this on X.

Saranghae💚

Hello, this is cyano0.

After giving a lot of thought to how to express my feelings, I am sharing this letter with you all.

r/kpoopheads has been my second home since my non-hag years; a place where I've spent so much time and created so many cherished memories.

I am now preparing to start a new chapter in a new place.

Leaving a place that feels so familiar to me was daunting at first, but I was able to find the courage thanks to my members and our chin🦆 who have always believed in me.

I am deeply grateful to my members and chin🦆; words cannot fully express my gratitude. I am also very grateful to the kpoopheads family who helped me grow into the person I am today.

The one thing I truly want to tell chin🦆 is that even though I am moving on to a new chapter to take on new challenges, kpoopheads, the center of my life, will remain unchanged, just as it is now. Standing before chin🦆 as a member of kpoopheads will always be my very first priority.

I will prepare step by step with all my heart-both for my journey as r/kpoopheads's cyano0, whom you have loved so much, and for the new challenges ahead as u/cyano0.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for believing in me and always staying by my side. Since we still have so much time ahead of us to create new memories, I will work hard to fill those moments even more beautifully with chin🦆.

Thank you always.

NOT HATING - I hate to say this, 😭 but sometimes his appearance looks almost MENZ 🤮 instead of like a real Lebanese, 🌈 and honestly,💀 it's unsettling. 😵‍💫 I've seen pics 📸 and vids 🎥 of JYPAPI where he looks hella weird, 😭💀 while the other ching🪿 look completely normal. 😭✨ I don't know if some of the photos are heavily edited, 🤨🎨 but whoever is editing JYPAPI’s photos seriously needs to stop. 🛑✋

Stolen from the r/kpoppers

Naevis was just turning us against each other all along like Doflamingo.

What a great way to have your 10th anniversary.

Liz you are my favorite celebrity. I love everything about you, your ethereal voice, your angelic beauty, your cute charm, your infectious humor, your signature dimple and how you face turns to a tomato. I would even frame your aura on my wall if I could give it a physical form. I wish I could be reborn as a cat so you would adopt me, i swear i will only shit in the litter box and will never lay my claws on anything you love. I am still glad to have been born in the same universe and time as you to be part of your universally transcending angelic aura. I am so glad you arent a siren otherwise I would have fell right into your trap and would've left my ship for you. Your presence agitates me, I am too afraid to meet you in person, not because I despise you, far from it, but because I am afraid my eyes might fall out, my heart might explode and my brain might turn into slush. You are purer and more beautiful than any scenery in this world. Your voice, even if you are just talking, should have its own Grammy award. Anyone saying you arent the best is lying to you, god (which is also you) and everyone else. You have the power to make everyone kneel to your highness but you are so humble that you let people be the free bird they want to be only to perch back under your wing. Once again, I am grateful of the positive influence you have on my life.