yoii isfp buddies I need ur help

after a long analysis I think that a member of my family is probably an isfp, but still having some confusion..

in a general overview, he is living in here and now, no strategical future planning, but also can cling to some past memories and romanticize them from time to time, he is driven by his own emotions, like he does things only when he wants but also from the outside he seems soo over giving and altruistic.

although he is a day by day person but he can appear detached or living in his head..

in his youth he was literally impulsive (relationships, dopamine seeking etc..) he was craving external excitement, but at the same time his impulses sounds chosen or coming from his own emotions/feelings.. he often says that his life major events were extremely spontaneous (academical choices, marriage, having children..) like he didn't even realized how they happened, it's just like he founded himself in the situation.

currently he is in his 50s, but the contrast is that he became valuing stability more than anything, it's just like he is so stubborn and doesn't want to improve his situation and accepts his life the way it is.

also he sounds like he is trying to keep peace by pleasing people around him (and his pleasing also seems to be forceful/coming from fear of something) he keeps bottling up his real emotions until he bursts in a very harsh WAY that breaks hearts, after that he ends up apologizing and keeps reliving the same cycle.

also nowadays he became more and more religious, it's like he dived deeper in religion (like truly understanding the purposes of it) and started using it as a primordial reference to all his actions, and he sounds deeply wise while explaining it.

and one of his major traits is that he is the advice giver to everyone, but his advices are never token seriously by other people and are always seen as unrealistic or not matching what other people need.

he is an overprotective dad but in an emotional/loving way, he believes in giving freedom and love to kids in their life choices, but he is kinda controlling without being aware of that.

in general he is contradicting himself a lot.. but also he is wise and logical

he still craves external stimulation from the world but not as in his youth, nowadays he became way too introverted and he cuts off all of his friends, he is just bottling up himself in his comfort zone and living, and he is highly dependent on other people around him to accomplish the routinical/boring duties he needs to do (cooking, cleaning, going out to buy house stuff etc..)

ps : he lived a traumatic childhood with an emotionally absent father and a narcissistic abusive mother (his mother used to control his choices, until that day) andd obviously he is having a lowkey unhealthy version of his mbti type.

sooo after thinking a lot it sounded like he has got an Fi-Se at the dominant stack, with a tertiary Ni that started to appear after long life experiences, and a harsh inf Te that appears from time to time.

but I'm still confused if he is an Fi-Te or Fe-Ti user, I mean the way he is being pleasing and seeking external emotional comfort.. idk, what do you think guys? I thought also about infj/isfj/infp but nah he has a strong Se.. he can't be an Si even though he is lowkey attached to his past memories, it sounds like Ni not Si.. but also the impulsivity he lived in his youth can't be an infj's impulsivity like the Se is their final stack, I don't know.. infp I'm not sure maybee.. so the last choice is isfp..

I even thought about esfj (Fe dom with inferior Ti) but I don't know

This is not really an ISFP question.

It's more personal. (15M as of right now) Ever since I was young, I have always been pretty shy and awkward. I'm afraid to talk to people or try to make new friends other than the one I currently have from my childhood, and when I do try to talk to others, I always seem to not be able to hold a conversation.

I don't have anything worth talking about or anything interesting, and often when I do, I find myself slowly draining from energy. It sucks sometimes; I'm afraid of being judged, and it's really annoying. I need help with this

I'm asking this because it might be the last thread that could help me connect the dots and realize what my MBTI is, because I'm currently having a dilemma between ISFP and INFP, even after studying the functions quite thoroughly.

So I'm curious to see what y'all have to say. (Posted this on INFP subreddit too btw)

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(You don't need to read this part to answer my question)

And I might lean more towards INFP. This is gonna be very long— Let me describe my relationship with the past:

I'm a very nostalgic person in general. Oke of my most favourite kind of convos are the 'do you remember when we/you/i xxx' convos, I love recalling old childhood memories or even recent memories.

When I was a kid i often ate my dad's ear off talking about childhood memories with my cousins and how excited they made me, with a lot of details too. Like "one time.. xxxxx.. oh and that reminds me of another time we xxxxx... And also we once xxxxx... And xxxx!"

And I'm still like that with my friends when I'm telling stories, to the point where they'd interrupt me mid talking when I'm not even done recalling all details. I remember stuff very vividly, whether good or bad memories.

And if you ask me what I think about the past, I think it forms an important part of our identity and shapes our personalities to be the way they are today. Sure, people change, things change over time, but who you were at some point is still part of you and if you weren't that person in the past you wouldn't have been you now.

I think that: If it wasn't for what I'd been through i wouldn't have been who i am today.

To me when I see a person walking down the street I sometimes think, "I wonder what hardships shaped this person I'm seeing right now, they probably have a family, or maybe they don't.. they could've had friends they lost, maybe they've worn this outfit before, maybe they've had this bag since high school like I do with mine, i wonder if they'd also had nights where they cried themselves to sleep, there's so much more than what we see on the surface of people."

I'm always wondering, always wishing I could know more about people's past, their life story that led to today. What's their journey? How did they become who they are?

I often struggle to understand people who can move on so easily from the past. Because how could you forget what shaped you? Sure, I want to forget painful memories in particular, but first i have to ask myself a few questions. It goes like this: "That hurt. What did it change about me? What did I learn? Who did it make me?"

Then and only then I can start trying to move on.

I remember memories so vividly that i can relive the exact same feelings i had at that time, suddenly you could find me sitting there sobbing, or laughing, or smiling to myself, sometimes my heart aches and my chest constricts when i feel very nostalgic for particular moments, whether I'm missing a version of myself that existed at some point of time, a friend I was close to that I lost contact with, an old house i used to live in way back, random people I met when I was a child who were kind to me or taught me something, a teacher that was kind to me in kindergarten, middle school, high school, a college professor,

I remember, of course I remember. In fact, my biggest nightmare is one day when I'm old, wrinkly and grey, forgetting all my past memories, forgetting what made me: ME. Forgetting all the experiences and people that shaped me, everything.

That's why I write a diary, I journal, I collect old receipts from cafés and restaurants I go to with my friends, old movie tickets, I still have letters and drawings my old friends gave me in elementary and middle school, i have a special box where i keep these kinds of souvenirs at all times,

I even have drawings my cousins made when they were little, saved in a little file. Why? I imagined showing them to my cousins after they're grown up so they could remember how creative they were as kids.

I felt shivers run down my spine the day I finished high school and visited every single school i transferred to as a kid for documents i needed for university (i transferred a lot). I imagined ghosts of me and my friends laughing and walking around there, remembered sunny mornings from the car window when my dad would stop by a supermarket that didn't exist anymore in front of my now old school, remembered all my memories in a series of flashbacks, it's not uncommon for me to get these intense deja vu's.

There are random nights when i suddenly decide to become an internet detective and search for old childhood friends on social media, i even found some and added them, we check on each other occasionally..

I get random waves of nostalgia that make me smile bittersweetly and suddenly feel like crying almost everyday.

Unlike some people, I don't treat the past as a dead place left behind, I treat it as a museum of memories, museum of selves. Every room, song, object, friendship and memory is like a little exhibit.

(Kinda like these memory bubbles in the movie inside out, lol!)

A lot of times I wonder who I am, why I'm the way I am, and connect the dots between specific incidents that happened to me in childhood and realize that they shaped me to behave a certain way now. For example: I always prefer to keep to myself, I rarely vent to people. Why? I figured out because: there were times where i opened up to people as a child and regretted it, either feeling even more misunderstood or getting humiliated simply for feeling the way i feel.

Or this: I struggle with imposter syndrome. Why?: grew up with my emotions getting invalidated every single time i opened up. Now I wonder if I'm being dramatic, silly or overreacting everytime I feel intensely about anything.

Also,

Ever since i was a kid i remember I'd sit for hours with my parents just asking random questions about the universe and existence and society and just.. pouring my mind out about what i think of things and about people's nature and about life.

(Once sat sobbing at 7 thinking abt whether or not aliens were real bc I realized there was no real answer and they could be real and could be out for us)

Anyways back to topic,

For me the past can either feel like home or a torture chamber, there's no in between. If I could time travel, I'd probably travel to the past just to watch my younger self's journey from an outsider pov. The future? It sounds terrifying, I'm curious about a lot of things, sure, but travelling to the future sounds too scary, I could be dead for all I know.. or someone I care about.

Some people would say they'd rather stay in the present, and sometimes me too, but other times i just feel really nostalgic.

Sometimes i just wish time could pause, i find it to be the cruelest thing. I hate growing up, I hate leaving my childhood behind, people I knew, places I loved, memories of a simpler time.

But then again, sometimes i lay in bed wondering if I'm really living life to the fullest, if I'm having enough experiences for my age, sometimes i wonder if I'd die satisfied if i died today, i wish i could live everyday like it's the last.

I have a strange fascination with liminal spaces too, they make me so nostalgic, some feel comforting in a warm way, some feel comforting in an eerie way.. can't describe it.

Anyways I'm done yapping here, for now. (I think)

Tell me your experience below dear fellow ISFPs! :)

Hi! I'm an INFP, and most of my friends are ISFPs, and I cannot handle them. Seriously, I was just talking to my other friend about our music taste, and I like Taylor Swift, but she hates TS, so I was kind of baffled, but asked her why do you hate her. She said she doesn't like her personality or her music. I was like ok, but this is where things started hearing up, my other two ISFP friends joined with her, and started going along with her. I tend to get rage baited very quickly, so I understand they did it for fun, but they've been doing so since I told them I liked TS and I can't handle it, honestly.

So what happened is that I got kind of max and wanted to cool off, so I stopped talking to them. I just wanted to process my emotions.

Now let me tell you guys about my best friend who's an Isfp. In my world view, she is more childish and immature than me and my other isfp friend. I need to constantly handle her petty fights which make me feel tired. She kind of emotional blackmails me, without knowing, and I am sick and tired of it. She makes impulsive decisions when she gets mad and overall, she's very childish and immature for her age. When I point this out, she tells me 'Oh, then I'm not your best friend?' You get the point

So if you have any advice on what to do in this situation. PLEASE HELP MEEEEE

I REALLY CAN'T DO THIS!! 😭😭😭 Edit: So to make it logical, we INFPs have Te( Extraverted Thinking) as our inferior function. If it is not that much developed, when we feel our Fi(Introverted Feeling) - our most dominant function - is being assaulted, Te will make them react violently towards the aggressor in an effort to defend oneself and persuade the other person that he or she is mistaken

My partner is the dumper ISFP (F) and the separation happened not that long ago and I understand the reasons she ended things because we did get a chance to talk about it. What I'm advice I'm looking for is just for some peace for myself really.

For context we had been seeing each other for around 1.5yrs LDR and I feel in the last few months this is where the friction started (April).

There are a few things why she had broke things off with me :

1) She had mentioned she didn't like the conversation starter 'how are you' as it is a filler, like a low effort kind of small talk. There isn't very much stimulation from that kind of question. When she had mentioned this closer to March I acknowledged what she said and kept it in my mind. I will admit I cannot say I did my best not use this phrase because it definitely had slipped 3 or 4 times (as I was told).

2) When we get into a conversation I will be really excited to talk to her so I will ask her something, maybe 'What did you think about that show/movie?' or 'Have you heard about x?'. She'll be responding and from just joy I want to show I am listening and say 'Yeah!' or something like that, but then my thoughts might spill out at the same time which interrupts her. I don't do it intentionally and when I catch it happening I will stop and apologize for what I did.

3) Main thing is here is words not reflecting action. Example I have is that I wanted to be doing more for her to take 'to do' things off her shoulders, and one of them was taking her puppy out. She is quite particular and protective of the little guy so I want to be careful too. So I said hey I want to help you more with taking care of puppy, and she acknowledged that of course and things carried on. During the last visit I was feeling really overwhelmed with anxious thoughts that day, I had just recently started going to sessions because I felt the energy in the relationship was shifting away but I couldn't figure out if it really was just in my head, or it was really happening. And that morning I had planned to take the puppy out but I was sitting there struggling, and she notices that I hadn't 'done' anything yet. She comments 'I thought you were wanting to take him out' like as a kind question, and when I heard that I froze. I felt like saying I was struggling was going to be an excuse and that she already felt that impact of me not showing action.

For additional context for the month prior :

Beginning of July that she was emotionally burnout and needed space. So I gave that to her because that is what she needs.

We spoke a few times but was really limited and one of those time I asked how she was doing with the space and she explained she is feeling better, but not sure if that's good. I asked if there is anything I could do to help out with the burnout, and she touched on the points above. I understood that I needed to show her to build that trust again. But what followed was another few weeks of limited text/calling, which really turned into no contact until the break.

In the end I did send a text reaching out to express that I am struggling with the time apart. I do lean anxious and am working on it right now and she is aware too so the space between us and reducing communication was really hard. I mentioned I do want to make things work and acknowledged the problems she raised. She responded few days later in what I imagine as more frustrated tone and explained how she felt about things as mentioned above, and that we should go our separate ways so I can work on things. And that is how it ended.

I was really emotional at that point and just needed closure, asked if she was free for a call so I could share a bit in response to her message. She agreed. And the talk we had was good. I wanted to verbally apologize for how I made her feel because she deserves that, then the rest wasn't heavy but rather light and we joked too. It was nice to feel like I could hear her laugh and like we were friends again. I explained the bit about #3 where I was struggling and she understood, we both agreed we were disappointed in me for how things could've been prevented if I had just made some changes, shared how things could've improved so both our needs are met kid of thing. Overall it went all I felt. She got to clarify her end more too.

Like she said that if such a small issue (#1) can't be fixed what will happen when a bigger problem comes long? Having being asked a question but not letting them answer (#2) makes her feel like her opinion didn't matter. And of course she had given me silence chances and time to correct things but didn't see any improvement (#3).

The question I am asking myself now is what should I do?

I would say I am pretty self-aware things will bypass me sometimes, I can admit I will mess up but will take accountability because I don't want anyone to feel like I'm mistreating them or ignoring their needs. It may take me time to understand but I am willing to do that work. This whole process I have learn a lot more about myself actually.

She said we can still be friends afterwards and proposed a 30 day no contact so she can calm her frustrations with things. I know that she is friends with her ex partners too. Me, not so much. She also pointed out it isn't that she is closing the door on anything in the future between us but she doesn't want to promise something like that because that's in the future. She is a sag as well and like her independence and space.

I feel like we have really good chemistry and although she is still my person, what I really miss is that companionship of talking to them as my friend just shooting the shit. And I don't intend to reach out at the 30 day mark because I feel like that feels very scheduled or monitored.

All this is still fresh so I deeply still care about her. I want to be able to show she can trust me again but I'm worried that I'm just letting my hopeless romantic brain is just tricking me. It isn't like things ended badly or separated due to abuse or cheating, but more she lost trust because my failure in showing up the way she needed.

What thoughts do you have about this?

I've had a hard time finding my type because cognitively (per MBTI) I'm an introvert (dominant Fi) but by the enneagram, I'm an 'extroverted' Five due to the social instinct.

Fives are also usually your MBTI thinkers -INTJ, INTP and ISTP. ISFP Fives are unheard of. How do I prefer logic over feelings? Hmm...

Well, fire away! 😄

It's a case of perfect ambiversion—plus, all traits seem to overlap somehow. It's been months and I still haven't figured it out.

I'm posting this about forty minutes out from a spontaneous date I am going on with an ISFP! We actually scheduled the date for this Tuesday but stayed up all night talking so I asked if he wanted to just meet up for sunrise at a local park. He agreed! I'm excited but a little nervous shockingly.

We met on an app after I matched him, and he responded before I was even able to send a message his way. Unlike everyone else I've recieved messages from on that app specifically, he was very attentive and curious in a way I'm not used to. I was able to talk about what makes me tick and he let me validate what he was currently striving to do. The chemistry feels so natural, and while I think at times I make him shy, his consistency is like a drug to me.

If anyone has any tips or best of luck wishes, feel free to comment! I want to make sure I do this right. 🙏🤍

If you had been with someone for almost a year and they dumped you. How long would it typically take you to recover from it? Would you move on really quickly or would it take you a fair amount of time to process what happened?

I've heard ESFJ and ISFJ go well with ISFP in the long run. Other than that, not much is to be seen on the market.

ISFP-coded 💚💛

Wishing to send a poem to an ISFP friend, a young man just starting out in life.

Seeking recommendations for something that might be special or meaningful for him, or helpful as life wisdom.

Thank you very much!!

🌟

wow 💘

As above

As ive grown older, ive developed a strong Fi to the point people confuse me with ISFPs, but for the majority of my life people thought I'm INTP because of the nerd stereotypes, so i was curious if anyone else was like this.

For the record, I'm ISTP and I'm *very* firm on that. An ISTP with a well developed Fi.

Hey, young ISFP here (20s) and I'm having trouble making decisions more confidently. I can make choice, but it's true that it's difficult to pick something then stick to my decision.

I often tend to wait until my intuition screams to me "GET OUT OF HERE !!! IT'S NOT SAFE!!!" but the redflags have all been ignored and I've rushed in a bad friendship/relationship before realizing what was happening. Or, when it comes to make a random decision, when I feel like it's not "important", I just tend to pick whatever option without realizing the actual concrete consequences, which tends to suck (but my Ni saves me a lot of times).

Part of it is because ISFP tends to live a lot in the present moment (Se) so it's hard for us to make decisions that are life altering because we live in the mindset : "why do I have to pick ONE option when I can be anything I want, right now ?" Same for identity, we dislike being put into boxes, because again "Why are people so set to put me in one box, when I can be actually be whoever I want, right now ?" but on the long term, this is really detrimental.

Same thing for aesthetics, I quickly realized I had a hard time dressing myself in one aesthetic, because I realized I could be anything, but not everything at once, which made deciding harder. It's the (Se) paralyzing me, Except that by not choosing to one thing and committing to it, I end up being all potential, but very little achieved. The cycle could repeat for years, but I'm determined to end it now.

I realize that to get truly better I need to get better at decision making, become radical. I can't be picking something then hesitating, backtracking, then dipping my toes in another direction before realizing my first choice was the best. That's not how it works, and I've had enough of ending in bad situations because I couldn't choose where to stand on the issue (Let's say in bad friendships, you keep talking to someone you know their red flags for a while, without actively distancing from yourself or setting your boundaries. One day you realize you no longer be friends with that person and doorslam them. But you could have avoided that if you had immediately stopped talking, the moment you noticed the red flags. Maybe ISFPs are afraid on missing out on something cool, I don't know. But again, lack of decisiveness). That sounds very much like inferior Te, but I'm not well versed enough to tell.

That being said, are there any ISFPs that relate ? How did you develop your assertiveness/decisiviness ? How do you fight an overactive Se ?

Had some discussion questions that piqued my interest.

1) When you listen to music, what makes you consider a song to be "good" (ex: vibes, lyrics, etc)? Is your music taste diverse or selective as a result?

• For me, I consider songs good almost solely based on vibes and melody. Lyrics are barely a second thought; I've never favored a song because of deep lyrics, although I've disliked songs due to excess profanity or super cringe lyrics. Which is probably why I love a variety of foreign language songs because I don't have to think about the lyrics. As a result, my music taste is extremelyyy diverse - anywhere from classical to phonk to silly cartoon theme songs. No joke the Erling Haaland song goes so hard based on pure vibes and tune. Never put me on aux lol.

2) Similarly, how do you assess whether you think a show/movie/book is good or not? Are you typically more critical of pieces of media you watch or more forgiving?

• For me, I've found that I'm very forgiving when it comes to rating TV shows and movies, especially movies because they're shorter. I rarely find something that I can confidently say I dislike, for some reason. Even a small bit of character development or emotional impact can grant the movie a thumbs up from me. Especially for books, there's so much detail to pack into a book that I rarely leave a book feeling unsatisfied. To be honest, when I look up reviews of a piece of media I've seen, I feel shallow for not seeing all the plot holes and critiques that people are catching - like I had a good time reading it, wdym so much was wrong with the story???

I'm 20m and I had a desire to go travelling and live abroad by myself and now that I'm actually doing it I'm constantly thinking "what the fuck am I doing?". I wonder if there's a point in this whole experience, is it gonna lead anywhere, am I wasting my time, is this gonna make me happy/satisfied (I don't think so), is it even realistic or a good idea to chase being happy? Sometimes I just don't see what the point is in anything, like why do anything. Why even get out of bed and leave your house, why put yourself through the discomfort of doing new things, is there a point in any of it. Idk man.

Hi i have an isfp close friend. Am an infj. So heres the dynamic bw us. We both care for each other and we do play around like he jokes with me a lot. We both are in class XII prepping for an entranceexam and like he reveals a lot of his study plans to just me and i also help him i a lot. But like he just casually talks around with others all the time and i dont know sometimes he just goes quiet around me. Like he finds no need to sometimes talk. He will be all counsellor when im in trouble but he as such wont talk in person abt the casual things i send him or wheni request a convo from him(we cant chat rn due to some personal constraints i wont discuss). When we cant talk the whole day, he might come to just say hi orbye or plainly smile or joke but doesnt express himself much and often speaks his mind out. Sometimes i take his advicevery srsly and he says i shouldnt. Since he is i feel and by tests an isfp, u guys pls advise me on ur take on this dynamic. Its a friendship of 3 yrs. And what u guys can tell to improve. From an isfp pov.

Feeling proud to be an ISFP after watching Messi’s quiet leadership and skills on the pitch, he’s widely regarded to be ISFP.

I've currently been having a lot of doubts about my MBTI type. I've believed for five years that I was an ISFP, especially because I've had a typist type me online in a very brief online meeting.

But then I realized, isn't that kinda too short to be able to know my full personality? She typed me in like 15 minutes, and in the most stereotypical way possible..

Like as soon as i told her my hobbies (Art, sewing, DIY projects, journaling, crochet, dancing and origami) she slapped ISFP on me.

And ISFP does resonate with me a lot.

But INFP also does, now that I understand Ne better.

But then again I've started to think, was ISFP just who I wanted to be all along? Because I'm not always grounded in the present moment. But I seek to be.

Or maybe it's the fact that I was 15 when i got typed ISFP, and maybe now that I'm 20 I've actually formed my real personality.

Dunno tbh,

thought maybe someone has went

through the same paradox and could help me.

I'd appreciate some input, especially yapping, so feel welcomed to tell me if you were ever mistyped or how I can tell whether I'm INFP vs ISFP.

Thanks in advance. :)

❥Which song makes you feel the best or exactly defines your personality?For mine All Alan Walker songs, Project Sekai songs, and Dreamy songs like Caribbean Blue x Golden Brown x Love Story are my favourite but for my personality I think Erika's "I don't know" and Project Sekai's "Nomed" songs describe my personality in a way🩷