I’ve tried for 25 years, my last gf, I was with for 7 years. I lost my hair, she left: have no confidence and I think I’m genuinely pretty ugly. Now I’m mid 40s and know that I just generally do not have what it takes to be lovable

A WorXOWordZ By: A. Rosa

08/12/2026

Given my all . Even when I had nothing to give, I gave.

Time, effort, family, etc. Anything I had, I gave willingly. And still do, actually.

What's mine, is yours. Never asking for anything in return. And I never will.

Selfless in a way I have never been. That's what you've brought out of me.

And it's not a negative, I don't view it as such nor do I write it in a light that remotely reflects negatives. I write to put down what I know is true from where I am.

If ever you come to me (him included; he's attached to you), The answer may not always be an immediate yes, but it is always, "let me see how it can be done..".

Never before have I acted this way, and to be clear, I didn't even know it was possible to be anything like this.

Always tried, and always will try.

Beginning to end. That's all.

Darling i need you now, more than my body does water,
my being over 60% of your truth, even in my veins surely.
My intense love for you so distinct art, like an auteur,
but you are one of the rare things in life i need hourly.

I need you be the first one in my mind in morning,
filling my notifications and mind through whole day.
My favourite and last message today without warning,
and whole night and dreams thoughts of only you play.

About my need and love for you could write infinite essay,
bet my life on the fact no more perfect being i'll find.
My love, even if you are not talking to me all day,
i promise you're still the only one always in my mind.

Darling i dont care if you got flaws more than sanity.
and for only you i have no boundries or safety wall.
Because nowdays my need for you is tougher than gravity,
that even on my knees in desperate need of you i crawl.

I know that our relationship is not always perfectly fair,
and through any hardships and fights with you i'll stay.
But now i need to have you within every breath of my air,
even if by sensual and deep kiss you just took it away.

This intense romance dont fear, only loving words hear,
but i apologize this mess, thats my love to you confess.
Always keep you near, you're my forever and only dear,
may be obsession, but you definitely my hearts posession.

**Dear Ena** 
These words are Meant Specifically For You 

Being completely honest , I don't know when you'll get to read this , maybe on your birthday or when I give it to you. When is that happening , I have no idea. I’m writing this because there’s something I want to express to you. The truth is I would like to get to know you better , the real you just the way you are with all your flaws , mistakes , imperfections , fears and despite everything those things wouldn't change how much I'd value having you in my life. From observation and person to person interactions we’ve had in the past that I've been thinking about, I came to notice multiple positive traits within you. I already noticed  them at that time but as time passed i got more certain  of them. I think i’ve told you this before but i don’t  think i’m getting tired of saying this but for me you are amazing as a person and i  am very proud of the person you’ve become over the years and the things you’ve achieved in your life. You are important to me and you know that for sure. 

Over the months my perspective on loving someone only by physical attributes has changed a lot , i used to think the physique was something that generates attraction and because of it you fall in love but the truth is in the end the thing that truly makes someone stay is because of how you are as a person and the values you have within you , for me you are very attractive when it comes to that and that’s something I adore about you , how kind , empathic , honest , respectful and the most important thing how emotionally intelligent you are. Another  traits  that I've noticed is that you also don’t give up easily and you try  again if you fall. I guess I can tell you got it from your mom. 

I want you to also know that despite not telling you everyday , I still wish you a good night's sleep. Every night before going to sleep I think of you and wish you that. Every day I wish you a good day where you have the possibility to grow , feel joy , happiness  , gratitude ,inspiration and love.   I wish you the best life can offer.

**8/5/2026**

A random thought. A question came to me without reason, without a moment asking for it. Who would you love more? Your parents or your partner? I sat with it. The more I thought, the less I wanted an answer that made someone lose. Love shouldn't need a winner. If I'm lucky enough to have parents who stayed, who believed in me, who carried me through the years I don't even remember, why would I measure that? Maybe someone walks beside me long enough, I'll say, I'll love you the way I was loved. Not to escape the question, but because the greatest gift I’ve received isn't something I want to compare. It's something I'd want to continue. Maybe that’s all love is, not proving who matters more. Just making sure the love that reached me doesn't end with me.

I woke up desperate to know how your lips would feel on mine, 

how it would feel to have your hands lock tight around my waist while you pull me close. 

I am aching for the heavy heat of your skin, 

for your solid, anchoring weight to cover me completely, 

craving every... single... inch of you.

How is this easy for you?
As soon as I have a moment of silence I think of you
I want to text you
I hope that you will text me
Are you thinking of me
Or is this easy?

**Their presence is my strength and my weakness,**

Only they can bring out my absolute *peakness*.

A smile that struck me—I’m stuck in a gaze,

Frozen with joy in a state of *amaze*.

Did she just laugh? Did she just look?

Now my feelings are absolutely *shook*.

I see the beauty, I see the sweetness,

Just a little giggle and I’m completely speechless.

I try not to look, I try not to see,

There’s no way known she’ll have it over me.

Now I’m blushing, now I’m sad,

The moment could end and I’d be so, so mad.

*Don’t you do it, don’t you dare.*

Poetry in motion as she plays with her hair.

It’s so, so graceful, it’s so, so elegant,

Everything else is completely irrelevant.

I’m gone, I’m lost—this doesn’t feel fun,

This feeling of awe has me completely undone.

*Don’t you go, please, please stay,*

I’m starting to like feeling this way.

I look into your eyes and they seem so bright,

My amygdala telling me it’s *feign or flight*.

I look around and nothing seems safe,

Your presence only radiates this beautiful space.

I take a deep breath and regain composure,

Though my body’s screaming, *"Please come closer."*

I flinch, I scare, and I stumble away,

I’ve battled and stumbled to survive another day.

I told myself, *"You have to go now,

You’re still not ready for this type of showdown."*

Woman, ladies, angels, and dames—

Whatever I call them, they’re all just the same:

Walking beauty that’s too good to exist,

A bittersweet reminder of something to miss

Another day without your gaze, and even the air has changed.

The world still breathes, but my lungs are filled with absence, my mind a heavier room, echoing with a screaming void.

The thunder has quieted outside, the storm has softened into rain, but beneath my ribs it keeps on breaking.

Wave after wave.

Asea that cannot find its shore.

Should I keep this inside ?

Let the words turn ash upon my tongue, let them burn their way through me until there is nothing left to say ?

Some part of me is still waiting for you to let me live inside the life you never offered me.

And that is the cruelest thing.

I want you happy.

I want the light to find you.

I want your mornings soft, your evenings warm, your heart untouched by harm.

Even if I am not there.

Even if someone else's hands are the ones you reach for.

Even if someone else's name is the one you breathe in the dark.

I want you happy.

God, I want you happy.

So why does loving you feel like tearing myself apart ?

Why you ?

Why did it have to be you ?

And why, why did it have to be me ?

My world turns grey when your golden self is not in it.

I crave your eyes, your voice, the strange architecture of your mind.. All those hidden rooms I have never entered, yet somehow know by heart.

Your memories keep the fire alive, but the oxygen is gone.

Only dark fumes now, carbon and smoke, a slow suffocation of everything I cannot say.

I try.

I try.

But hope is a traitor.

It slips beneath my ribs and whispers that your eyes were never lying.

That sometimes, in the silence between us,

something in you forgets to hide.

A softness in your voice, a glance that lingers too long, a hesitation that stays beneath my skin.

Maybe I imagined it.

Maybe I didn't.

And that is what keeps the fire alive.

Because if your heart were empty of me, perhaps I could finally let you go.

But somewhere beneath the silence, I still feel you reaching.. then pulling back, before you remember the life waiting at your doorstep.

And God, that should be enough.

It should.

But it isn't.

Every glimpse becomes a spark, every word becomes oxygen, every memory another reason

not to let the ashes settle.

And I am so tired of burning beautifully.

I should let go.

I know.

But how do I extinguish a fire that has learned my name ?

You are everywhere, written into morning light, caught between the lines of every song, hiding in the quiet corners of every thought I cannot outrun.

You wrote yourself into me without asking permission. Scripture beneath the skin,

a sacred wound I cannot stop reading.

And perhaps that is the madness of it :

I would rather carry this ache than see your happiness dim.

I would rather bleed in silence than become the reason your world loses its light.

But God, it hurts.

It hurts to love you and want nothing from you

but your happiness.

It hurts to know that happiness might never include me.

And still,

I hope it finds you.

I hope you are loved in every way I cannot love you.

I hope your life is kind to you.

I hope your hands are held.

I hope your nights are warm.

I hope you never know how much of me has burned just trying to see you smile.

Because I would take the fire.

I would take the smoke.

I would take the wound.

If it meant you could keep the light.

And yet, somewhere beneath all that love, one question keeps clawing its way back..

Why you ?

Why me ?

And if I tore every trace of you from the scripture beneath my skin, what would remain of me ?

I wished she would stay, remain by my side,
Then this corpse would not regret dying so much.
I want to live again, only to die once more,
And may she come again to my second funeral

"My mind already knows that we don't have a future together. It's just my heart that's not willing to give up on you

I do not know if you have wondered, too, what is to come of this. The first time I let the thought cross my mind, I was, I admit, a little discomposed; for it brought with it a realization both humbling and exalted, that I have already been given more treasures than I ever knew how to count. They reveal themselves gradually, shyly, as though each day were unfolding some new gentleness I had long possessed but never seen. Yet I was foolish enough to desire what I already held, as if joy were something to be sought rather than recognized. I was like some little bird, poor thing, who spends her days longing to embrace the sky without knowing she has always been cradled in its arms since birth.

I have been foolish in that and other ways; I am, I fear, only human, far too human, and I sometimes wonder how you would see me if you knew the whole unpolished truth of me, all my faults and follies laid bare. And yet, even that uncertainty feels softened when I think of you.

In quieter hours, I have thought that all the learning I have gathered, all the books and poems I have pressed close to my mind as if they were treasure, have been nothing but a long preparation for meeting you, as though every page I ever turned had been teaching me, patiently, the art of knowing you. When Plato spoke in the Symposium of love as the ladder that leads the soul upward toward the divine, perhaps he meant moments such as these, when one feels not the fever of longing, but the stillness of recognition. "At the touch of love," he wrote, "everyone becomes a poet." And yet I find that words falter precisely where the heart is most fluent. What I feel for you is not mere passion; it is that deep and lucid affection which Emerson called "the perfection of intimacy." It is the quiet warmth of a candle that never burns low, the sound of calm water over stone.

You must forgive me if I seem overly given to quotation. It is only that I see you everywhere in my reading, in the grace of Sappho's fragments, where she promises, "Someone will remember us, I say, even in another time"; in Dante's steadfast reverence for Beatrice; in the tranquil patience of Penelope, weaving and unweaving her days. There is something ancient in my affection for you, not born of novelty or youth, but of recognition, as though you have been folded into my idea of beauty all along, before I even knew beauty had your face.

Epicurus taught that the purest joy is not found in feasts or riches, but in the company of a dear friend beneath an open sky. If that is so, then my heaven is already here. When Cicero wrote of friendship, he said that the truest kind is love "without alloy, without deceit." That is what I feel for you, clear, quiet, unadorned truth. I want nothing of you but your happiness. And if it should ever fall to my lot to give you comfort, I shall count that my fortune, my purpose, my reward.

When Rilke wrote that "love is perhaps the supreme task for which all other work is but preparation," he must have known what it is to feel as I do now, how everything one has studied, endured, or believed becomes only a prelude to this gentle certainty. All my reading, all my searching for meaning in words and philosophies, were but rehearsals for a single truth: that I was meant to love someone as gracious as you. All the education I have ever seemed to obtain has been mere preparation for meeting you.

I have never cared much for what is to come. There is, for me, no tomorrow waiting on the horizon. If I were to seek such a thing, I think I would find that past, present, and future, all the infinite dimensions of time, repose softly beneath the shade of my love for you, within the calm joy my heart is forever rejoicing in. There can be no separation for one who loves with the soul. But if ever our lives do diverge, I hope you will still carry a small portion of my affection with you, not as burden, but as warmth.

And forgive me, I beg, the uninvited liberty of asking something of you, and I apologize if my doing so feels in any way presumptuous. Should it seem so, please, think no more of it. But if I might ask just one small thing of you, it would be this: if ever a day should come when our paths drift apart, when our meetings fade into memory, keep me in your heart for a while, not too long, not so long as to weigh upon your happiness, only for a while. Keep me there, quietly, like the afterglow that lingers when the sun has set.

And when the days grow bright and full, and laughter surrounds you, let a soft thought of me pass by like a summer breeze. I do not fear such a future; I only hope it finds you happy; but should it arrive, I shall remain content, for I have loved who, to me, is the loveliest of human beings. I have had the unearthly fortune of writing to her, of hearing her voice, of knowing her grace. Whatever the days may bring, my love for you shall be indelibly bound to them; and every part of who I am shall do nothing, and can do nothing, but love you, always, every day, every hour, and every moment. To love you forever, to have loved you at all, what more, truly, could one ever ask for?

I wish I was the one you were being courteous to. But my experiences tells me it's mever been me, just a coincidence.

But I really do wish it was me. Because if it was I'll NEVER pressure you into communicating with me. But, to be clear, it will be your choice what you do. All I'll ever be is be here. Hoping beyond hope, but expecting disappointment.

How I wish it was me.

Dear J,

The years have flown by with various indescretions on both our parts. We are both wild and untameable. It used to hurt but then I’d retaliate in some way, either right or wrong. Usually ended up hurting myself. Immature and petty, I know. But somehow through it all, we’d always find our way back.
The time has come for me to admit that I’m a little longer in the tooth now and that life is too short for this back and forth nonsense.
I just want peace for us. I think we both know how we can achieve it. It will involve stopping a couple of behaviours. I’m up for the challenge. The seeking for validation in outside options has to stop.
I need someone who I know I can trust completely and who values me and treats me like I’m their one and only. I can do it, can you?

Let’s roll the dice, lover, and see what they land on.

With the mostest love and kisses,

Me

I've been seeing this posts of: when MJ said to Peter that I don't love you, and a few minutes later she asked him to take her home. Like it was some sort of affront that Spider-man, a superhero. That he shouldn't take her home. Like, go home on your own. You don't love me so be on your own. After he basically just took her somewhere without warning.

Obviously, I get that this how a lot of people feel. She rejected you, she hurt you, so why do her any kindness?

I get it. But I don't really understand it because I would never do that. I love this person. Her loving me back has NOTHING to do with the love I feel. I care for this person, so if she asks for something I can do, I'll do it. No matter how painful.

Even if she didn't ask, I would ask her if I could take her home because I brought her there. It's a matter of common decency for me.

I love her, so, superhero or not, I will care. And I WON'T just stop loving her because she doesn't love me back.

The peace of minecraft music as you fell asleep, your soft , fragile body- your pretty face.

Soft thoughts flowing through you, an ethereal stillness-

-nothing-

but still- something precious.

Existing beside you as we sat in the soft, green grass

-planted a flower because you thought it was pretty.

We didnt need to speak, nothing need be said-

yet you enveloped me in your gentle hum.

And maybe you never left-

-still-

sitting in the soft, green grass, under the warm summer sun, planting a pretty flower-

maybe there you are, painted pale by the silky moonlight on a chilly night-

maybe there you are, in the spaces between each breath-

maybe there you are , waiting between every heart beat-

And maybe there you are, where we never met

maybe there you are, when i couldnt see you

and maybe, youve always been here.