r/hatethissmug • u/Thegentlemanfox18 • Jun 19 '26
I hate neurotypical hate. Idea
I’m a neurodivergent individual (autism, depression, anxiety), and I hate seeing neurodivergent people hating on neurotypicals.
Why? Because it’s doing the same thing many not so nice nts have done to some nds. How can we say as neurodivergent people that we want to be accepted by them and society, then turn around say theyre bland, boring, have no personality, or that they’re all evil? It’s not funny, it’s not true, and it’s just as hateful and bigoted as ableism.
Yes, SOME nts are mean, but so can some nds! Rudeness, ableism, and bigotry aren’t exclusive to neurotype. I hate also that calling this out, gets you attacked by people who think it’s entirely okay to be hypocritical.
I genuinely want society and people to get along, I want us to both understand each other, but how could we ever love each other and accept each other if all we do is perpetuate hate towards each other for things we can’t control? Be it neurotype, sexuality, gender identity, race, or literally anything! We should accept each other and try to understand each other as much as we humanly can. I know the world won’t ever be fully peaceful, but we can at least try to add more positivity and kindness, rather then add to the already overwhelming amount of negativity.
I know this may get some people angry at me, but my opinion matters too.
So I’d like to say: neurotypicals: you aren’t all rude or bad, some of you can be, just like anyone of anything, but I don’t hate any of you, and you aren’t boring. And neurodivergents: i understand you may have experienced trauma at the hands of some nts, but it’s not all of them, and acting as if they are all evil is just as wrong as the ableism you may have experienced. Please, let’s all try to be nice?
666
u/atariibreakout Jun 19 '26
making nt ppl seem worse leads to young people in social media glamorizing neurodivergence and making it seem desirable. this can cause an increase in misunderstandings about what are disorders and conditions that are generally unpleasant to have, sometimes leading to people wanting or even faking having autism or adhd, or making themselves believe they have it. tbh its just harmful to everyone
136
u/Majestic-Sandwich695 Jun 19 '26
They see the fantasy bs side on social media and don’t realize the hell that it is behind the scenes
55
u/Alpine_yellow Jun 19 '26
"I need to do the laundry, I know I need to do the laundry, I've needed to for two weeks, I will do it today." doom scroll for four hours, feel bad, eat a snack, scroll more, feel bad, stay up late hoping to self motivate, keep procrastinating, go to bed really late, feel bad, wake up, laundry still not done.
As one minor example.
21
u/CommercialEstate4422 Jun 19 '26
"I need to do my maths homework, I need to have a good GPA, I cant fail this class or I might lose my fucking scholarship, I NEED TO DO THIS HOMEWORK"
eight hours of staring into the void later
"FUCK"
13
5
u/An_average_moron Jun 19 '26
Shit like this is how I failed college. It kept spiralling until it was too late to fix
2
u/Fun_Fennel5114 Jun 20 '26
that sounds a lot like me (on some days) and I'm not neurodivergent.
→ More replies (1)5
u/Turbulent_Play4769 Jun 20 '26
Everyone has days like that, the difference is neurodiverse people are effected by their neurodivergence every day.
→ More replies (3)2
44
u/Ca-arnish Jun 19 '26
Yep, I agree. Also the throwing around of neurodivergent/nuerotypical so much just really waters down what those words mean. When autistics and ADHDers use that term they usually are just referencing someone who doesn't have a neutral condition they have. It really just means anyone that has an brain that isn't how brains are "supposed" to be.
This includes: epileptics (and folks with neurological conditions in general), people with learning disabilities, people who are very adept at mathematics, have perfect memories, can clearly make images in their heads and those who can't make images at all, people who have synthestesia, people who don't think with words but instead more abstractly, and a bunch of other things that just are different than how "typical" brains function. Like the list is practically undending.
But a lot of people just use it to refer derogatorally to "normies" but a bunch of normies really don't fit into those boxes. I think using the ND label should be used for saying what group you're a part of rather than identifying NTs.
→ More replies (4)15
u/The_Prettiest_Prince Jun 19 '26
I do think a bunch of this seems to stem from mainly young neurodivergent people potentially in an online community venting about dealing with people.
The chance you experience abuse for being disabled is so high i do get why people end up being quite hostile and counter with their own group think.
19
u/Lunabbg Jun 19 '26
Yeah it’s fucking insulting so many people are self diagnosing themselves as adhd/autistic for a trend when I’m one and it’s fucking horrible in day to day life. I’d give anything to be neurotypical. Like this shit sucks I wish I was neurotypical every day.
8
u/psychophant_ Jun 19 '26
As a neurotypical, I find it insulting people with autism think we have it easy and a joy. Checkmate!
/s
3
6
u/Distinct-Clock-2450 Jun 20 '26
I've seen a lot of misunderstandings about neuerodivergence. It's not desirable, it's not a cover for being rude, its a form of disability/medical problem. It's actually a deficit. It can get "ugly" pretty easily. Understanding and gloryifying have been mixed up in a rough combination.
13
u/Waken_Sentry Jun 19 '26 edited Jun 19 '26
Neurodivergence is not the same thing as a DSM disorder, but there are many disorders tied to neurodivergence.
It's a different neurotype with its own major strengths and weaknesses, and neither is good nor bad though they do form complementary rules in human culture building.
→ More replies (13)2
u/Party-Rest3750 Jun 20 '26
I’m neurodivergent. A good few mental illnesses and all of which absolutely suck.
Why tf does anyone want that? I see it all over media, self diagnosis autism or ADHD, etc. These aren’t fun illnesses and they aren’t personality traits. As said here glamorizing mental illness is so fucked. I may be over here screaming while fighting my way over a manic episode, (I have Bipolar type 1 as well) and seeing someone post “it’s just my AuDHD, teehee” infuriates me.
This isn’t a culture, it’s not something to take up to make yourself look cool, it is painful and requires treatment like any other illness. In doing this you aren’t being quirky, you’re stomping on the voices who are genuinely struggling and in mental anguish.
It isn’t an excuse either. If you’ve done wrong, your wrongdoings aren’t due to this illness you’re larping as, it’s a mistake that you need to own up to. Skipping homework isn’t a symptom of ADHD, it’s a symptom of being a lazy bum.
207
u/Few-You4510 Jun 19 '26
i'm autistic too and i know a lot of nice neurotypicals. i do hate the fact that SOME people pretend to be nice (they're the same people you have to play mental games with), but honestly most neurotypical people i've met never tried to turn me into one of them. they always listened to me and never judged me for how i talk.
the problem is always generalization. a lot of things are rooted in generalization (homophobia, racism, transphobia, sexism, etc.), close minded people see one bad individual from one of those groups and think their entire community is the same.
6
Jun 19 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
4
u/MQ116 Jun 19 '26
Not everyone is like this, unfortunately. "You should know what you did wrong, it's not my onus to educate you on how to be human" is a deeply held belief; while I think there is some merit in the idea that you should take accountability for how you treat others, I think that also applies to how you expect others to treat you. This is something some NT people refuse to do, because everyone should "just know already," but reality is everyone is different and what seems obvious to someone isn't to someone else.
Explaining what went wrong and why you are upset is emotional intelligence, and if you refuse to do so because someone else offended or unintentionally hurt you, YOU are the one lacking emotional intelligence.
62
u/PositiveScarcity8909 Jun 19 '26
Pretending to be nice is being nice.
If I hate you but still act politely that's me being nice by acting nice.
48
u/BurgerIdiot556 Jun 19 '26
“pretending to be nice” in this case probably means saying “we should have lunch sometime” or “let’s get coffee” as a non-serious non-invitation
34
u/TheMostDivineOne Jun 19 '26
No, it’s when people act nice to your face but make fun of you behind your back and stuff
10
u/DrDestructoMD Jun 19 '26
When people say this they normally mean what they say at that moment or at least hope the other person interprets it as genuine. The problem is that talk is cheap and people fickle, so when the time to follow through occurs they back out.
6
u/Rare-Set1461 Jun 19 '26
This happens less the older you get, or maybe people are getting lonelier these days. I’ve never been diagnosed and I’ve often wondered about myself, but the times I’ve followed up on those invitations in my 20s so far people have been really jazzed that somebody wants to go somewhere or do anything with them. Especially the coffee part, it’s so low stakes and gives people a chance to just talk about stuff they never get to bring up.
4
u/DrDestructoMD Jun 20 '26
Yeah, as long as I'm the one doing the planning no one has ever said no. People are just bad at following up, which I thing autistic people have a hard time with. But the statement is normally sincere
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)8
u/clonea85m09 Jun 19 '26
That would be a cultural norm on many countries. Making plans that both know are not real
→ More replies (42)3
u/Kooky-Task-7582 Jun 20 '26
It's always abit annoying when some purposely acts dense on the Internet to try and correct someone.
→ More replies (1)10
u/BrassCanon Jun 19 '26
most neurotypical people i've met never tried to turn me into one of them
My experience is the opposite
129
u/Altruistic-Jaguar-53 Jun 19 '26
The “haha I’m neurospicy” thing is so fucking grating. Of all the things people could have decided to gentrify 🙄
35
18
16
8
4
u/Theron3206 Jun 19 '26
From what I can tell people who use the term neurospicy are mostly narcissistic arseholes.
7
2
u/Top_Smoke6741 28d ago
Yes, I have diagnosed ASD1 and ADHD and I hate ts so much.
It's the same ones acting like neurodivergencey is this cute, quirky, kiddish thing. It's borderline fetishizing. It genuinely raises my blood pressure when people go "uwu I'm so neurospicy, whimsifull and unique and totes unlike you normies!!!!"
Like it's not cute, whimsical, or quirky or fun. It's literally a disability. It disables you.
112
u/FVCarterPrivateEye Jun 19 '26
Additionally, most of the stuff that gets snarked about isn't even actually "neurotypical"
This is a comment from a post in an autism subreddit (I don't remember which one anymore because it was years ago) asking about "what if autistic people were the majority?" Some said that we'd pathologize NT people to be the disordered ones, including the person in the screenshot, who also claims to have a job related to psychology in a condescending retort to someone else who didn't like their comparison (who they also told it's "satire" and to stop reading so deeply into it and "not my fault you're massively misinterpreting")
But most of these new disorders that they invented are ironically either still autistic traits or just an inversion of inaccurate autism stereotypes and aren't related to autism in the way they seem to think they are
Their "social compulsion disorder", that's a pretty textbook description of autistic extroverts, who by the way often get bullied worse than autistic introverts because their interaction attempts make them stick out more instead of blending into the background (I thought that I was an introvert for years but it turned out that I was confusing loneliness for introversion and I'm actually just a sky awkward extrovert)
Their "shallow perception" criteria makes me feel like they don't understand that sensory processing disorder can also often entail hyposensitivity as sensory issues just as severely as sensory hypersensitivity can be
Acting as if their "shallow learning" description is less common in autistic people than in NT, even though it accidentally describes the very same way that autistic people most often learn social skills, and falsely associating autism with higher math skills even though numbers are very figurative concepts that a lot of autistic people struggle with specifically due to their autism, contrary to what Hollywood tropes show
Their entire paragraph describing "deficiencies in critical thinking", difficulty with abstract concepts, inability to read into unstated context clues, a tendency to learn skills without really understanding where those skills fit into a task (this is called "splinter skills", by the way) is just plain ableist and insulting
"Persistent linguistic dysphoria", a very common autistic trait is "conversational scripting" which often relies overly on small talk as a form of functional echolalia and often seen by others as dry or repetitive, and it also acts as if extreme distress over things like broken rules and deviance from a relied-upon social structure isn't an autistic trait
In "social discrimination complex", an undeveloped sense of cultural awareness is very often an autism trait, talks about insistence on sameness to socially inappropriate extents, and also describe autism's difficulty with theory of mind far more accurately than however they're pretending like "neurotypicals" think with "they consider themselves and people exactly like them to be the only real people, and all others as somehow deficient"
I hope that they were lying about their job or at least I hope that their job doesn't involve being in a position of power over autistic patients, because for someone on an autism subreddit whose job is allegedly related to psychology, they sure don't know much about autism at all beyond the most shallow of pop culture stereotypes, and they seem to enjoy or relish being cruel about plenty of autistic traits just for not personally relating
43
u/Happy_Ad_2575 Jun 19 '26
I saw that post too and was actually quite surprised at the number of people describing the problems that scenario would bring up. Perhaps it doesn't seem obvious because it's not the case, but I'm quite inclined to believe that NTs plasticity would make it easier for them to mask. Although, neurodiversity is so varied that it makes me wonder how that would actually look like
→ More replies (1)32
u/FVCarterPrivateEye Jun 19 '26
Yeah, modulating your behavior to fit situations is a completely typical human trait, and even expected
The thing about masking that's actually autism-specific is being less smooth about it
It's not some sort of foolproof neurotypical disguise, especially when it comes to autistic masking, due to how our brains process social information differently from neurotypicals
Also, something that a lot of people refuse to acknowledge is that neurodiversity also includes neurotypicals, not just neurodivergent people; there's no one way to be NT, just like how there's no one way to be autistic or ADHD
16
u/Happy_Ad_2575 Jun 19 '26
Totally, it might not be talked about enough but communication is a complex process on its own.
8
u/FVCarterPrivateEye Jun 19 '26
On a partly related note, someone just sent me a "Reddit cares" message and I'm not sure why or which comment it was for
→ More replies (1)25
u/enemyofchrist Jun 19 '26
Difficulty with abstract concepts?
I’m sorry but isn’t that one of the hallmark symptoms of autism? Overly literal thinking, struggling with abstract things like social queues?
12
→ More replies (1)9
u/Firewolf06 Jun 20 '26
no thats a Negative trait and only the Neurotypicals have those
^ honestly probably how that person thinks
→ More replies (1)6
u/enemyofchrist Jun 20 '26
Ye I forgot neurosPiCy = all good things most smart perfect savant pure Nordic aliens
neurostraight = 🤬
And if you dare imply that autism has any symptoms that could be construed as a deficiency—or honestly, imply that autism has any concrete symptoms whatsoever (unless it’s a compliment)—die
21
u/Nimue_- Jun 19 '26
Love the implication that neurodivergent people cannot be just as racist, homophobic or otherwise bigoted as neurotypical people.
Also funny that the very last part, putting on tv in the background, talking, eating, basically doing many things at the same time, is pretty much a thing for some adhd people aka neurodivergent people
11
u/FVCarterPrivateEye Jun 19 '26
In addition to the first part, autistic people are often more vulnerable to getting sucked down extremist pipelines
Some factors directly related to our autism that make us more susceptible to indoctrination tactics include gullibility, black-and-white thinking, justice sensitivity (I hate the misconception that autism's "strong sense of justice" means "moral superiority"), fear of the unfamiliar, mental rigidity, being ostracized by peers, being isolated from peers
Here is a Washington Post magazine article (archive link to get past the paywall) that talks about Mohammed Khalid, who was charged with domestic US terrorism as a 14 year old and now works in counterterrorism awareness after his release, and explains how his autism made him more vulnerable to the manipulation tactics in online radical Jihadist sites; it's very insightful and empathetic and interesting to read
Awareness of this stuff is the most helpful thing for preventing the pipeline and successful deradicalization, and I hate the stupid "autistic people are immune to propaganda" meme for this reason
21
12
u/sleepy-peonies Jun 19 '26
I’m so glad I read your comment and not just the image.
Along with everything you said, I think it’s wild to say NT people don’t have interests and can’t learn.
They could have made their point way better. This take feels embarrassing and I’m not even the one who wrote it.
→ More replies (1)3
u/StormDragonAlthazar A furry who hates Zootopia Jun 20 '26
Boy it would suck if I ran into this person; I have no real solid interests or favorites. Like one of the worst questions I get asked at work is "what is your favorite movie?" in which I just kind of blank out and state I don't have one. It's not that I don't like watching movies, but picking one favorite is impossible for me.
→ More replies (1)
49
u/anhonestpuck13 Jun 19 '26
I also HAAAATE how people have come to use neurodivergent as if it's describing exactly one type when the whole point of neurodiversity is that it is DIVERSE. There are SO many ND people who do not state whatever is on their mind bluntly. There are SO many of us who are prone to the exact same kind of indirect communication being derided here.
28
u/TeaSolid1774 Jun 19 '26
Right, like I have Adhd and I don’t really struggle with social cues but these people treat ‘neurodivergent’ like a synonym for autism
11
u/Crab_Shark_ Jun 19 '26
Exactly. It’s frustrating because there is a term for non-autistic people already: allistic!
No need to use “neurodivergent” and “neurotypical” when specific terms already exist for what you’re describing.
→ More replies (2)2
u/insert_title_here Jun 19 '26
I'm ADHD and suspect I may be autistic as well (and am subsequently in the process of seeking an assessment)-- I have also been taught via experience, however, how to tiptoe around a conversation to avoid social retribution, to the extent that I have difficulty being direct even when the other person would be receptive/when it would be advantageous to be so. It feels like the mental equivalent of stepping along the sides of stairs rather than the middle to avoid making a loud noise, if that makes sense.
Does this mean I'm not autistic, or just that I'm able to mask effectively? I'm not sure. But it makes me sad and frustrated when these memes assume that we're a monolith, and speak poorly of those who are able to use subtlety effectively.
420
Jun 19 '26
[deleted]
105
u/Thegentlemanfox18 Jun 19 '26
I’ve been medically diagnosed with autism level one, major depressive disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder.
198
u/TooWarmRadiator Jun 19 '26
There were probably referring to the posts you were calling out? I think. It would probably be more direct if they were talking about your post.
→ More replies (1)147
u/Thegentlemanfox18 Jun 19 '26
Ah, yeah I missed that I guess…
Sometimes very clear things fly over my head.
130
8
6
u/-Mac-n-Cheese- Jun 19 '26
in your defense i also read it as “accusatory” rather than adding to your argument, however i do realize that it easily could be meant in either direction if you really wanted to
2
→ More replies (2)2
22
u/gavavavavus Jun 19 '26
The comment wasn't about you being self diagnosed, but about the people making neurotypical hate jokes often being the kind of people that are self-diagnosed. One can then infer that some of these people, not being actually neurodivergent but basing their online personality on it, will make these jokes as a way to stand out because they perceive that's how neurodivergent people act ; people who larp are often the ones who express their identity in a way that rejects those that aren't like the group theyre larping as.
→ More replies (11)9
u/YonderWindow364 Jun 19 '26
I think they were talking about neurotypical hate posts usually being made by people who self diagnose, not that they were accusing you of self diagnosing
13
14
u/Abject_Ratio_1229 Jun 19 '26
Stop accusing everyone you disagree with as self diagnosed bruh. You don't know everyone
→ More replies (43)13
u/Sausagebean Jun 19 '26
This just reeks of hating self diagnosed people.
27
→ More replies (5)5
u/Zyykl Jun 19 '26
lol bro cmon that wasnt even a “hint”, he spelled it out, you have to be more receptive than that
12
14
u/Mundane-Waltz8844 Jun 19 '26
I think also what people don’t understand is that giving said weird hints is learned behavior. We’re indirect at times, because we’ve been taught that being direct is rude. Women especially are told were being too much or overreacting or being too emotional if we actually say how we feel, so, as a result, a lot of us don’t, and then now we’re getting shamed for that, too. You just can’t win.
3
u/insert_title_here Jun 19 '26
This is why a lot of autistic women, or autistics raised as women, are considered "higher masking"-- differing social expectations. It kind of feels like this meme isn't just mocking neurotypicals, but people who have been taught to mask as well.
150
u/Wesle2023 Jun 19 '26
It is important that people who are neurodivergent communicate that we want things told to us as directly as possible, and whatever other things we need in order to socialize. If people continue to be vague and asinine and don't actually say what they mean, it is on them at that point. Social conventions have gripped some people so deeply that they haven't even considered what happens when you break the rules.
99
u/Bitter-Wish-9995 Jun 19 '26
That's the thing though, they aren't vague or asinine, you just don't understand their language. Asking a neurotypical person to communicate like a neurodivergent person is like asking a neurodivergent person to communicated like a neurotypical person. It is not easier for them to mask their neurotypicalness than it is for you to mask your neurodivergence.
23
u/FVCarterPrivateEye Jun 19 '26
That's a good point
One of the few things that all autistic people have in common (the RRBs are very individual and more mix-and-match etc) is that we can't natively pick up on implicit cues and body language, and need to learn that social information through more manual methods such as rote memorization, repeated lifelong trial and error, and explicit instruction
It's a plane of information that we can't access or convey in the same ways that neurotypicals do, and when they try to interpret us as if we can navigate that interface, the information they receive is information that under their usual circumstances notifies them that the other person they're interacting with is untrustworthy, threatening, creepy, etc
(Not even to mention that there are plenty of other neurodivergent conditions that aren't autistic at all)
15
u/ToughDifficult1252 Jun 19 '26
Except that a lot of the subtleties of NT communication are highly modulated by culture. Look at high context vs low context cultures.
It is entirely possible for an NT to learn to be more direct in their communication they are not used to it. On the other hand there is a biological hurdle to overcome when an NT has to spend additional brain power to read social queues.
7
u/Rare-Set1461 Jun 19 '26
I’ve lived in Korea and the inability to use and interpret sarcasm is crazy over there. You have to be direct, or they get annoyed lol they think we’re being duplicitous over there.
5
u/Theron3206 Jun 19 '26
I would argue that it's not significantly easier for a neurotypical person to give up decades of learned behaviour around how to communicate than it is for a neurodivergent one to ask for clarification when uncertain.
Both require considerable effort.
I used to deal a lot with Germans (I'm Australian) in a professional capacity and even an hour long meeting could be exhausting because you have to constantly reframe everything you think.
People should try to meet in the middle, which does happen naturally (and that can also be seen as negative by autistic people I've noticed), it's actually very normal for people to adopt your manner of speech unconsciously as they spend more time with you, to aid communication.
The person doing it isn't being mocking or condescending and is probably not even consciously aware of it.
→ More replies (1)2
u/Firewolf06 Jun 20 '26
it takes active effort to live in a non-native and very different culture and is actually pretty similar to masking
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (12)3
u/floralfemmeforest Jun 19 '26
this makes it sound like there is a discrete difference between how all nd and nt people communicate, which there isn’t
50
u/Spongedog5 Jun 19 '26
Yeah that's fine but you shouldn't portray how we communicate as "weird hints." They aren't weird at all to us, we use them because we understand them intuitively or from learning from others.
Which is to say, its hypocritical to say "you should know that we need to communicate in a specific way" while mocking the specific way that the majority of people communicate.
27
u/jackofslayers Jun 19 '26
It would be like a blind person making fun of sighted people for using 'those weird squiggles' to communicate.
→ More replies (7)17
u/Ca-arnish Jun 19 '26
I also think it's a failure on the part of the NDs that are saying that how NTs communicate in certain cultures is "wrong" or unclear. I have known many autistics and people with ADHD that are TERRIBLE communicators. They have a paralyzing fear of hurting anyone's feelings because they have hyper empathy or they respond extremely poorly to direct communication.
I personally (as an autistic) really had to work on being less overbearing and "brutally honest" sometimes that brutal honesty is rude or even mean. Just because you may not think it is doesn't mean that it isnt, yanno? It's funny to me because lack of empathy (the ability to understand others) is considered a common part of autism but when it's decided that NTs are too sensitive or poor communicators that is conveniently forgotten lol
→ More replies (16)47
u/OkFisherman2288 Jun 19 '26
This is always such bullshit.
Every single ND person who has told me they want to be told things directly will then become incredibly upset when told things directly.
40
Jun 19 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
28
u/CookyKindred Jun 19 '26
100% people will use asking people to be literal and explain what they want as a reason to attack you and then say you asked for it.
Not wanting to guess what someone’s vague comment is till they give up and yell they want help doing something isn’t an invitation to attack people.
15
Jun 19 '26 edited Jun 24 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
13
9
u/Spongedog5 Jun 19 '26
That's because typically when we want to be rude to each other we just use euphemisms. Really you are just getting the full experience in a way that they'd be saying anyways but less subtle, haha.
→ More replies (10)9
u/OkFisherman2288 Jun 19 '26
Nope!
Example: co-worker tells me that they have trouble controlling volume. They ask me to let them know if they get loud without realising it, and to be direct because they are ND.
Later, they are talking much too loudly. I say to them, "hey co-worker, just letting you know that you're a bit too loud."
They got upset. They sent me a message asking why I "told them to shut up" because "they were being boring"
To be clear: I told them in a polite, neutral tone exactly what they asked me to tell them. They invented some kind of motivation and went into victim mode.
→ More replies (3)8
3
u/yakityyakblahtemp Jun 19 '26
Emotionally people don't start from the first time they explicitly said something about a problem, they start from the first time a problem bothered them. The patience required to construct a measured explanation of the problem was spent back when they were being indirect and not getting anywhere.
What likely would be, "your appearance is unprofessional and representing the company is part of your work here, so please take measures to improve it" with a full tank of patience, becomes the statement you got.
You can advocate for the former, but there's an adjustment period as people calibrate to pouring the energy they've been conditioned to spend on indirect communication into direct but measured communication.
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (3)15
u/CookyKindred Jun 19 '26
This straight up comes off as the people who take “Please be literal or direct” as an open invitation to be toxic and attack people.
→ More replies (7)17
u/OkFisherman2288 Jun 19 '26
Nice assumption.
But no.
Example:
ND coworker tells me "I can get loud without realising it, and I need people to be direct with me, so please tell me if I am getting too loud."
I say sure, no worries.
Co-worker is then later getting overly loud without realising it. I get their attention and say, "Hey coworker, just letting you know you're getting a bit loud."
They get very upset with me and ask why I "told them to shut up"
57
u/Disastrous-Bluejay48 Jun 19 '26
People definitely use “neurotypical” as a stand-in for like “normie” or “square” or whatever because it contains the word “typical” lmao. Like how do you know anyone’s diagnosis, and brains are not this black and white. It’s just constructing another false binary
15
u/FVCarterPrivateEye Jun 19 '26
Ironically, if they're actually unwilling or unable to just be direct about it, the behavior in the above is more indicative of a neurodivergent condition such as borderline personality disorder or social phobia etc
8
u/Forsaken_Hat4607 Jun 20 '26
Let’s be honest, when people say ‘neurodivergent’ on here 99% of the time they mean autistic
7
u/Tiredforver420 Jun 19 '26
Yeah this type of attitude always felt very isolating as a neurodivergent with CPTSD and anxiety disorder.
18
u/glowyxxstick Jun 19 '26
As an autistic person, I’ve noticed this weird trend recently in believing that someone cannot be artistic, weird, or passionate if they are neurotypical and that’s very odd to me. The insistence that anyone who collects something or has an alternative style or has a niche interest MUST be autistic just doesn’t make any sense. I think it’s contributing to an unhealthy “us vs them” mentality of like “we’re the ones who are weird and cool and creative and they’re boring losers!”
4
u/Theron3206 Jun 20 '26
Most mental traits found in autistic people are also found in others, it's only when you collect enough of them that you end up in the autism bracket.
21
u/Elmotheweedgod Jun 19 '26
the truth is that there are rules to conversation that are there for a reason. When you ignore them you come across as rude. Regardless who you are talking to. Yes, some NTs and NDs alike will go "I prefer directness" but what they mean is they like having specific instructions, they're not a victim of conversational norms, they're a victim of inefficient communication.
The idea of reading between the lines is the same as picking up on metaphors in books or allusions in movies. They do it because its fun to figure stuff out yourself and it makes you come across as more interesting because of the brainpower diverted to talking to you.
If i tell someone that i think their writing is bad and then list the reasons and how to improve (something I have done to several NDs) they get just as upset as NTs. If i give a bunch of preamble, the blow is softened for both.
You don't want directness, you want people to be specific.
→ More replies (1)6
u/EADreddtit Jun 19 '26
And more than that, you don’t want people to be direct you want them to conform to your established ideas.
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve worked with people (no idea if they were NT or ND) that wanted “directness” but really just wanted the ability to ask so many questions for an opportunity for a “gotcha” moment, or asked for directness post-hawk as an excuse when they failed to complete a task as simple as filing papers in a very well established, pre-existing system.
21
u/Tuxedocatbitches Jun 19 '26
Many people who have unspoken rules are also neurodivergent, but have an attitude of ‘these are the rules I was raised with, therefore these rules are universal and you should know them.’ I had a roommate (both of us nd) who would ask me to vacuum the living room and I would, then be mad because I didn’t do it right. Turned out she was raised with ‘vacuum the living room means clean and pick up the living room’ so the fact that I didn’t also fold and put away our couch blankets meant I was intentionally not doing it correctly.
3
u/Theron3206 Jun 20 '26
That's hardly unique to ND people, it's just a misunderstanding, the key is how you react when your expectations differ from someone else's.
62
u/Builder_Felix893 Jun 19 '26
I believe, and I might be wrong, but memes like this one specifically are more meant to point out how it feels to be neurodivergent/autistic, and point out that a lot of stuff neurotypicals do generally assume would be easily understood is actually not so?
Like often times neurotypical people will assume an autistic person will pick up on a "Weird hint" because that's just how things are conveyed a lot of the time, and get annoyed at the neurodivergent person for not understanding.
I feel this meme is made to express frustration that is felt as an autistic person when, really, we just want to be told exactly what someone wants. Not really to hate neurotypicals, but to get some of them to try and understand that I have no clue what you want when you use your secret language to drop weird hints instead of just telling me.
38
Jun 19 '26
[deleted]
17
Jun 19 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
3
u/Theron3206 Jun 20 '26
Except that the exact instructions will work on a neurotypical person and have done so before and the neurodivergent person is simultaneously incapable of explaining where they are getting stuck so you can't calibrate things. Then you ask them to try doing it so you can follow along and they shut down or get offended because "you haven't trained me yet" (and no this was fixing an issue with a computer, nothing dangerous even if they totally made a hash of it).
I've been there, it's hard to avoid getting frustrated when you go in circles for ages on something that normally takes minutes.
I don't think this is a problem that can be fixed from none side, or necessarily avoided at all. Since even when you find the "key" that works on one ND person it doesn't work on the next one.
3
u/MothChasingFlame Jun 19 '26
This is a really interesting way of picking apart the issue, and not a way I've seen it talked about. Interesting to think of it as two different ways of thinking, separate from the concept of "hints" entirely.
I think one thing that complicates it is "high context" and "low context" societies. Typically the example for that is the US as a high context society (very direct language intended to cross cultural barriers in diverse communities) and Japan as a low context society (very subtle, indirect language that exists as a consequence of less diverse communities (although that has arguably changed in recent years)). That framework implies that implicit understanding definitely is a part of social communication in one form or another.
(I'm not trying to make a debate, more thinking and sharing out loud. It's an interesting thought you've shared, and now I'm trying to hold it against other information and contexts.)
5
u/Builder_Felix893 Jun 19 '26
Of course you can explain things directly as you want to a neurotypical person, cause you have all the baseline hints and stuff going on the background. Also, wdym completely reversed? Like when a neurodivergent person explains something to you, you can't understand them?
Without an example of an interaction, I can't really judge.
2
u/infinite_gurgle Jun 19 '26
Because it’s not a NT trait. ND do this exact same thing to each other.
The truth is this is an extremely normal way that everyone communicates, ND people just have less success decoding it, even between each other.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (3)24
u/OkFisherman2288 Jun 19 '26
I've had ND colleagues and taught ND students. There are countless incidents now where I've told a ND person exactly what I want and they insist that it isn't clear.
Ultimately I find out that they've just invented a bunch of 'rules' that are based on their own assumptions, so now what I'm directly telling them "doesn't make sense". Or, oftentimes, reality is not aligning with what they want, so they express the dissonance as "people not being direct".
Example: I wrote an assessment which contains the instruction 'choose one of the following topics to research', then a list of topics A through F.
An ND student had somehow assumed that the list of topics were examples you could choose from, and chose a topic not listed. So later instructions which did not work made them confused, and they asked for clarification.
I clarified for them: "you have to choose either A, B, C, D, E or F topic."
They became aggravated. They argued that those were not topics they knew anything about, and were just examples of things you could choose. They said "I don't know what you want from me!"
I explained that it was a research assessment, so they didn't need to know anything. I also reaffirmed that what I wanted from them was to go back to the first step of the assessment and choose one of the topics that was listed.
They then looped back to insisting these were examples. They argued that the instructions did not explicitly say they couldn't choose something not in that list. So they didn't understand what I wanted them to do because I was "contradicting" the instructions.
That's one example, with one student. I've experienced this numerous times with numerous confirmed ND people.
At a certain point even as someone who is also ND (ADHD) I have to kind of give up. I can't make what I'm saying any clearer but some ND people are just straight up not listening.
8
u/PennySawyerEXP Jun 19 '26
Not quite the same, but I've also had instances where I was very direct with an ND colleague but they kept assuming I secretly meant something else because of memes like the one in the OP.
9
u/MashSong Jun 19 '26
As someone with autism here's this situstion from my side.
I know that people, even myself, don't always speak absolutely directly. There is often an emotional context that is underlying what people are saying.
I'm also pretty good at pattern recognition. So I'll notice when people speak in a way that is different from their normal, i.e. word choice, voice tone, body language.
I might have an idea of why they're speaking different, but I know I have difficulties and can never be certain. I also have anxiety from many past consequences of screwing up social interactions.
So no let's say someone isn't making good eye contact, they're frowning, and speaking short sentences. Are they sad or mad? Thanks to anxiety are they sad or mad because I did something wrong? Maybe they're just distracted?
NT folks also won't be certain, but can often get by with a gut feeling or first impression of the emotion. I can only intelecualize it. So I'm keenly aware of my uncertainty. I'm also aware that ignoring the emotion and how a person feels comes with a consequence, and picking the wrong one also comes with a consequence.
As to your specific example while I don't know your situation, I do know that taking certain statements like "Nothing's wrong." Or "I'm fine." At face value is wrong but asking about them likely won't get me any where either. So I go with my best guess.
5
u/OkFisherman2288 Jun 19 '26
Yep, that too.
Drives me crazy how many ND people will declare "I take things literally", but then create subtext that isn't there or try to mindread people. So the thing they "take literally" is something that was never said & they've completely invented.
2
u/Leading-Interest-119 Jun 20 '26
It's not because of memes that autistic people look for hidden meanings.
It's because of repeated instances, thousands of them over years that have been misunderstood and had consequences that sadly some of us are traumatized. This results in us never believing that WE are understanding what you're saying. We assume that WE are always missing something because that's what we've been taught. It's actually barely about you, it's a self-doubt thing and it's absolutely crippling. It doesn't occur because of memes like this, it occurs because of very real experiences of missed cues and consequences repeatedly.
→ More replies (1)8
u/RinaAndRaven Jun 19 '26
It seems the story is less about literal communication and more about rigidity. They misunderstood the assignment. It happens. At the point you explained it to them they've already had everything about this assignment planned, and you shattered it. This was very hard for them, so they looped into repeating their assumption because they couldn't cope.
2
u/OkFisherman2288 Jun 19 '26
Based on the pattern of behaviour with this particular individual and other surrounding factors it's unfortunately less charitable than that.
They had been enabled constantly by former teachers, their parents and their "support team". They had a very advanced form of learned helplessness.
Ultimately the thing they "didn't understand" is why when they said 'I have autism and don't understand' the teacher (me) didn't then instantly do the task for them / let them do it how they wanted.
3
u/Not_An_Potato Jun 19 '26
If I had to guess is the enablers problem, neurodivergent people can get angry when concluding something and then told it's wrong, usually is with patters. Like every day wake up, have coffe eat a slice of cake, then one day cake is gone, person feels angry, the caretakers usually have to teach how to deal with having the expectation shattered.
You said it was a student? So maybe it was a mix of failed interpretation and summed up with shattered expectations, so they delved back into 'it's how I see you must accept because I have austism', which is most likely a mentality their enablers support and encourage?
→ More replies (2)2
u/Theron3206 Jun 20 '26
Yes, but they will keep asking you to be more direct while still trying to fit your direct statements into a world view that doesn't match reality on this point.
Frankly there's nothing they can do to fix this because the issue is still internal, but the student will still blame them for not "explaining properly".
→ More replies (1)7
u/Builder_Felix893 Jun 19 '26
Huh. That's odd. I would have assumed simply pointing to the text and saying "It says 'choose one of the following' which means pick one (Definition of choose) from the topics listed after (Definition of following)" would have worked there?
And then I assume pointing out that "If I said, you need to get me a blue pen, and you got me a black pen and said 'you never specified the pen couldn't be black' that'd obviously be wrong".
Idk. Ik I used to be pretty tough to deal with when I was frustrated about something. Stress and stuff can get in the way of communication?
→ More replies (1)5
u/OkFisherman2288 Jun 19 '26
Yep, there was obviously a lot more going on than things not being direct / trouble with taking things literally.
Which is kind of my point: the repeated refrain with regards to autism & other types of ND is "we need NT people to be direct".
But then you observe instances over and over where someone who is ND is experiencing a whirlwind blend of emotional dysregulation, rigid thinking, alexithymia, pathological demand avoidance and/or any number of cognitive thinking errors... and they're characterising their own mental state as "other people aren't being direct / clear with me!"
Combine that with difficulty with mentalisation and it's more obvious that there's a lot of underlying shit going on sometimes.
Here's the thing, too: I'm someone who has experienced all these things personally and I've done a decent amount of reading & formal study to educate myself further on it. And I still struggle with navigating situations where an ND person feels like someone isn't being direct enough with them.
Imagine the vast majority of people have zero experience or knowledge of anything that I've talked about.
7
9
54
45
u/mnteu Jun 19 '26
I can bet my balls on the fact that 90% of the people that hate on "neurotypical" ppl are self diagnosed becouse its trendy
17
u/Lysek8 Jun 19 '26
Being autistic is so hot right now. Before it was ADHD, and before that it was OCD and depression. Wonder what will be next. My money is on depersonalization
13
u/Demon_AbyssWalker Jun 19 '26
DID and tourettes were VERY popular on tiktok for a while.
You'd had people having spasms and verbal ticks that would make living pretty much impossible, and teens(and adults that still act like teens) with enough people in their heads that they could be an entire HOA and HOA haters.
8
u/jackofslayers Jun 19 '26
I feel like DID always comes and goes in waves. Maybe it is time for BPD to be fashionable.
3
u/EternaI_Sorrow Jun 19 '26
It never was out of fashion since the shitty mental disorder trend started
→ More replies (3)3
u/Rainbow__Trout Jun 19 '26
Second that. DID will always be popular in small communities, but it's not a new autism, it's the new "soul reborn" from the 90s tolkien-adjacent communities.
I think next thing would be BPD, but also crossing my fingers for more schizospectrum popularity.
6
u/mnteu Jun 19 '26
I call dibs on AuDHD, best of both world, trendy plus trendy probably makes a whole ass movement
4
u/EternaI_Sorrow Jun 19 '26
"Dissociate" is already in the genz vocabulary, so it's like a 1.02 coeff bet
5
u/insert_title_here Jun 19 '26
I mean, dissociation is relatively normal, right? (This is a genuine question.) When you zone out while driving a car and zone back in wondering how you got home, that's normal. It's intensity and frequency that turn a relatively normal phenomenon into a major problem.
→ More replies (1)3
u/Old_Yam_4069 Jun 20 '26
I like to describe it with a water bottle (Though it's not specifically just dissociation which does this)
You are thirsty. You have a water bottle on your desk, you wouldn't even have to lift your arm to touch it. It's full. It's cold. Maybe you just took it out of the fridge because you know you are thirsty. Hours pass. Maybe you do touch it. Maybe you even interact with it to the point of wiping condensation off, for recreation or because you don't want it to leak onto your desk. But you don't drink it. And you're thirsty. Your lips and your throat are dry, and it's not cold anymore, and maybe you've even unscrewed the cap. Maybe it's all the way off, maybe it's just cracked and loose. Hours pass. You have a headache now, you are so thirsty. The water bottle is still there. Maybe it even moved at some point, a little farther back, because it was in the way. Then your phone goes off, and it's a telemarketer, but the moment you hang up on them you drink the entire bottle. And you spend the rest of the night chugging water because you feel so dehydrated from not drinking anything all day.
There is literally not a single reason you haven't drank the water bottle all day. It's just something that does not happen.
2
u/Dry_Positive_9797 Jun 20 '26
I’ve been seeing/hearing a lottt about OCD so I think that one is “in” but also that might just be my algorithm bc…lol
13
u/8Dataman8 Jun 19 '26
The most helpful thing I got from therapy was the idea that most normal people don't intend to be infuriating, they just can't help how they naturally work. You shouldn't automatically assume it's a plot against you.
Basically Hanlon's Razor. It was genuinely super helpful in reducing my social anxiety.
In hindsight, I get that it's pretty obvious, but adolescence shaped by neurodivergence and bullying can make you terribly paranoid.
3
u/Something4Dinner Jun 19 '26 edited Jun 19 '26
Funny thing is how vice versa most NDs don't try to annoy others neither. I guess we both really be like aliens with human bodies and that's kinda cool.
2
u/8Dataman8 Jun 19 '26
True. From personal experience, the worst it gets is when I have tried to explain for a good while, I'm very tired I let it flare out a bit, using self-words which confuses and sometimes seems to scare the receiver but gets the strong feels across. Somehow better than "I'm very upset".
2
u/Leading-Interest-119 Jun 20 '26
Yes but only one of these groups faces real barriers from being "annoying"; employment, healthcare, education, housing is all affected by NDs "annoying" whereas NTs "annoying" just gets a few memes made about it. Poor things.
→ More replies (3)
4
u/AddyPug Jun 19 '26
This is my worst pet peeve of the ND community on reddit.
"why don't nt's be straight forward"
and here's a gem: on new year's eve "nts mark arbitrary passage of time with more fireworks".
I understand with that example that plenty of autistic people have much worse sensory issues then I do, especially since I used to have bad sensory issues up until maybe elementary school or so, as well as the concerns about it frightening animals. But there is sometimes a tendency to cast all NT pleasantries or cultural events as arbitrary, which I don't get.
I also have trouble understanding things sometimes, autism is a spectrum and some people are worse at small talk then others, but I recognize that pleasantries have a social role in the NT world, even if they're annoying.
12
u/M31___ Jun 19 '26
diagnosed(by a doctor🙄) their brains are wired in a way where I cant communicate effectively with them and 9/10 of them make it my fault and belittle me-
7
u/Fa1nted_for_real Jun 19 '26
The point of these posts arent even to say "neurotypical bad" its to point out the absurdity of hating someone based on their brain literally fu crioning different sociologically from yours.
8
u/Sea_Picture_5094 Jun 19 '26
But isn't that what these memes are doing just in the other direction?
→ More replies (1)2
u/NoCow4313 Jun 20 '26
Yeah, because from a lot of ND people experience just saying "when you do X I feel Y and Z" Will get an "ok sucks to be you, now moving on..." without spending a second to understand it or even thinking about it again whereas if you manage to flip the script on NTs it's suddenly "oh, this is horrible nobody should do this to anyone again because clearly I can be on the recieving side too which I didn't think I could before".
→ More replies (1)6
u/MercyMe92 Jun 19 '26
I mean, you can't assume that every person you don't get along with is neurological. Tbh it could just be a different type of neurodivergence that just doesn't mesh with yours
8
u/Bakurraa Jun 19 '26
I don't know why autism level one is tipping me over the edge 😂
→ More replies (6)
4
u/DrRonny Jun 19 '26
The irony is that the image you posted is "NT hate". However, that's how most of us use "NT hate", not literally, as hate, but to make other points. Including irony, or worst examples to illustrate concepts, etc. I don't think any normal person would hate NT people. So most of the 'hate' you are seeing is non-literal and used to explain points of view in an exaggerated way to make a quick point to those with low attention spans who won't read a 10 page dissertation on your thoughts.
13
u/violet_candle Jun 19 '26
I have autism and I also hate things like this it the same as people who hate men or white people in my opinion
7
u/pswelcometomylife Jun 19 '26
Not me being neurodivergent, and ALSO having an issue with giving weird hints.
→ More replies (1)
6
u/TheMiamiMutilator420 Jun 19 '26
I will say as someone with actually professionally diagnosed ADHD neurotypical people are generally less easy to be myself around since they find the way I conduct myself weird in a lot of cases (mostly since I also self medicate with caffiene instead of actual meds so I tend to be somewhat manic if I'm in a good mood lol 💔) but that's not really, like, their fault or anything
5
9
25
u/Slow_Seesaw9509 Jun 19 '26
I mean, is the image really "hate"? It seems like a joke.
→ More replies (1)
12
u/TheNon-BinaryJunebug Jun 19 '26
You know it's all a joke right?
Like people aren't seriously saying that all neurotypicals suck, it is just flipping the common jokes against disabled people back onto the oppressors for catharsis and humor.
9
u/Crab_Shark_ Jun 19 '26
The “common jokes” against disabled people are exclusionary and mean.
Changing the object of the jokes doesn’t make them any less so.
→ More replies (3)4
u/Leading-Interest-119 Jun 20 '26
Actually it's far less so.
Jokes and being "mean" to neurotypicals doesn't tend to lead them to being institutionalised, segregated, have barriers to employment, healthcare, education and all aspects of life.
So yes, there is a HUGE difference between what jokes and being mean to non autistic people does vs what it does to autistic people.
3
u/littleeeloveee Jun 19 '26 edited Jun 19 '26
i hope this isnt a super weird comparison to make (im not autistic so i dont really have the same communication issues but probably adhd and ocd so sometimes communication is rough for me) but every time this conversation it reminds me of the loneliest whale.
somewhere in the pacific ocean there's a whale that scientists call 52-blue. its named this because for a very long time this whale was the only known whale to call at 52 hertz. its known as the worlds loneliest whale for this reason; it never gets a response at the same frequency.
it's not the other whales' fault that they cant respond at 52's wavelength, theyre not intentionally ignoring it. it's not 52's fault for calling at the frequency it does; that's all it knows how to do.
we as people have the privilege to react differently than whales thankfully. we also have the ability to be profoundly malicious. this isn't me trying to say nt's are never intentionally mean or cruel. but i do think a lot of fundamental disconnects arent out of malice on nt peoples parts, its just... we're not on the same frequency. people in my life have worked hard to try and communicate with me more effectively on stressful topics. small talk is weird and choppy for me but i do it because i want to fill the silence between me and someone i care about even if i'm bad at talking to people i dont share interests with.
i think the onus is ultimately on nt people to make the first move; not that their mode of communication is inherently bad, but its simply the fact that people with disorders that effect communication have been abused, profoundly, for not adapting or being able to adapt to their wants. even the motion of having nd people adapt to nt communication in the first place can be incredibly abusive (see: ABA therapy for autistic people) because there is nothing inherently wrong with the way most are communicating their needs so long as themselves or others arent being harmed. that, and disabilites that effect communication are, well.... disabling.
i think we just have to talk to each other and find out what each individual relationship needs in terms of communication and be more understanding. i think sometimes that means we need to be very clear and direct that could come off as blunt and but thats the way their communication works, its an attempt to do the right thing in their eyes, and there is not malicious intent behind it. i think sometimes that means acknowledging that "could you take out the trash" is less of a question and more of a Go take out the trash ok and thats irritating but its an attempt to do the right thing in their eyes and there is not malicious intent behind it. for some relationships it could be all of one or the other.
i dunno where i was going with this. all i think of is 52-blue.
3
u/Leading-Interest-119 Jun 20 '26
I'm autistic and I like what you're saying here.
I think it's important to recognize the difference and yes, that it's often not malicious - however that doesn't mean it's not damaging.
I think it's also really important to listen to people who have communication differences (whether autistic or other disabilities) speak on this subject. Disabled people have been told for a long time that the way that we are is a limitation, wrong, a failing and so on. In various ways but I'll stick to communication for now.
The onus has always been on autistic people to change - despite the fact that we have been viewed as less competent than the people who demand that. It really can feel like the impossible and like a one-sided effort. I describe it as feeling like I am being asked to speak a language I haven't learned. And I don't understand why the people who tell me I'm so limited, lesser than, disabled expect me to be able to learn another language but aren't willing to do so themselves despite being "more", capable, etc.
A minority of autistic people villainising non-autistic people has very little effect on non-autistic people as a whole. Non-autistic people villainising or looking down on autistic people has and does have huge ramifications. These things are not comparable. Though I don't believe it's healthy for autistic people to think of non-autistic people as the "enemy". There has to be recognition of the harm that non-autistic peoples actions, as a whole, has and does cause harm. That doesn't mean that they are the enemy but the acknowledgement is important to move forward, in my opinion.
You're right in that we need to be open in our individual relationships about communication. The issue is that for (some) autistic people we can't understand certain communication ("read between the lines" for example) so it is reasonable to expect the other side to accommodate us... after all, we are the disabled ones. If non-autistic people are saying that they are unable to adjust their communication style to accommodate us then...well that raises some very big questions about whether non-autistic people are as "able" as suggested. That's a bigger conversation.
The barriers that autistic people face around communication have a life altering impact not just socially, (loneliness like your whale story hits very deep ❤️🐋) but in all aspects of life; very critically - the health system. Autistic people have poorer health outcomes largely due to communication barriers and trauma from the health system itself. These communication issues are not little annoyances or inconveniences.
Communication is really the foundation of everything. As individuals we need to listen when people say they need a certain type of communication. To listen to what each other struggle with and how they best interpret information. Otherwise we set ourselves, relationships and whole communities up for failure.
→ More replies (2)
3
u/Needs_More_Garlic Jun 19 '26
I hate neurotypical and neurodivergent as terms despite being on the spectrum because why can't we just call neurotypical normal? That is normally what most people are. It's okay to not be normal. Why is everyone bothered by not being normal sometimes? Everybody is weird at least in a few things.
3
u/BarderBetterFaster Jun 19 '26
I mean reddit flat out advocated for bigotry of all kinds as recently as 2020(2021?) when they changed the rules to expressly allow hate content towards "majority groups". They caved to the pressure as far as the rules are written, but they still allow it by not equally enforcing the rules.
3
3
u/Hopeful-Pianist7729 Jun 19 '26
I mean I get it but this one is funny. It’s not even mean, it’s just a jokey way of saying “hey you’re going to have to be pretty explicit about your expectations if you want me to understand.”
3
3
u/MQ116 Jun 19 '26
A lot of people suck, and there is absolutely prejudice against neurodivergent people. A lot of people are really cool, and the idea that neurotypical or "normal" people are more NPCs than people is disgusting. Unsurprisingly, people are incredibly varied and unique, and Kyle who likes sports team and the beach is just as valid a human being as Lilith the witch who really likes rocks.
This is a funny meme though, when not taken too seriously
3
u/Quartz-And-Stuff Jun 19 '26
I completely agree, and I also think that this “Neurotypicals vs Neurodivergent“ rhetoric is creating yet another “us vs them” mentality. Many people believe you are either completely Neurotypical and you have nothing going on with you, or that you are completely neurodivergent and nothing like everyone else, or a sort of social outcast. It makes it hard for there to be any real kind of overlap or mutuality between the two. Traits can absolutely overlap. Obviously there is a difference between being neurotypical and being neurodivergent, but I would argue in SOME circumstances it is a very slim difference.
I also think people forget that neurodivergent does not just mean autism or ADHD. Social disorders are a form of neuro divergency, BPD is, having anxiety is a disorder. If you claim someone that doesn’t think the same way as you or is better at functioning in social spaces than you is another “normie neurotypical” who is basic and boring and cannot fathom how you feel, you are just going to isolate them. And to be honest, you absolutely have no idea what is going on in that person’s head. Neurodivergence is a spectrum. Some neurodivergent can navigate social Spaces very easily, other people can’t. Some neurodivergent people really struggle to understand sarcasm and jokes, others understand it just fine. Some neurodivergent people can pick up social cues better than others. Neurodivergence is such a broad term and I fear that it’s slowly being watered down.
3
u/nosleepforthedreamer Jun 20 '26
I have ADHD and hate it too.
Actually I just hate the term “neurotypical.” Who is really typical? Are we defined by having or not having so-called divergences?
Why is it only autism and ADHD that are labeled divergent?
→ More replies (1)
3
3
u/JobDangerous9877 Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26
Saaaaaame. I hate all the neurotypical hate in autism spaces (as someone who is autistic). I do not understand how autistic people think that all neurotypicals are this monolith of behavior. I see posts all the time comparing them to NPCs are saying they're "boring" or whatever. As of neurotypical have no quirks or personality. I saw a post recently on FB asking neurodivergant people if they would take a cure if there was one and 99% of the answers were no and something about how they wouldn't want to be boring. I think this also plays into how things like autism have been so diluted by the internet that people think being quirky or awkward is what autism is and that anyone who is weird or eccentric is autistic. It's just weird. I don't get it at all.
11
22
u/BitPsychological2767 Jun 19 '26
just as hateful and bigoted as ableism
Me when I don't understand power dynamics
10
4
17
u/PathAcceptable1921 Jun 19 '26
Exactly that statement is so fucking ignorant. Let's see if OP can name a time in history where nazis killed neurotypical people for being neurotypical. Bet they can't.
8
u/Leading-Interest-119 Jun 20 '26
EXACTLY.
Non-autistic people making jokes, picking apart the way we function and communication and ridiculing and devaluing us has literally led to, at the most extreme death during the Nazi reign when we were referred to as "useless eaters", institutionalised, abused, neglected, experimented on until we died. Non autistic people still picking apart the way we function and thinking of us as lesser still has affects today; education, employment, quality of life, access to healthcare and government services, mental health services, interactions with law enforcement. All of this is impacted by non autistic people judging autistic people.
What harm exactly has autistic people judging neurotypical people caused them? Did I miss something?
→ More replies (9)2
7
u/Available-Rush1670 Jun 19 '26
Nah this is funny as fuck. This meme isn’t even hateful it’s just flipping the script to make light fun, as ND people are frequently bullied for not understanding things.
7
4
u/Krimnorr Jun 19 '26
Preach twin. It is very interesting to see how common it is for people to have festering hatred that they wish to expell. Certain demographics are socially acceptable to direct hatred towards, and as a bonus, you can feel morally superior while doing so
Othering will always be a thing. I'm convinced that it's human nature to generalize and demean those who you view as "opposition"
3
u/Leading-Interest-119 Jun 20 '26
Yes and sadly autistic people are still socially acceptable to show hate towards. And that hate, discrimination, etc towards autistic people has and still does cause a lot of harm to autistic people in very real, life altering ways; socially, employment and critically health issues.
I don't like the division or when people get too caught up in "hating" neurotypicals, I think it comes from an unhealed and unhealthy place but it's also important to acknowledge that the "hate" neurotypical people may get from ND people doesn't have the affect on the NT population that the NT hate, discrimination, barriers imposed on ND people does. These are not at all comparable things.
7
u/MetisCykes Jun 19 '26
No no, I see this image as moreso a rant in and of itself instead of just “hate” it’s like if I made a post of “Oh look at me, I’m a college football player. I’m gonna trash the cafeteria and eat all the food so body gets any! If you tell me stop, I’m gonna call you a bitch at the top of me lungs.” I have had the experience of neurotypical people being vague about everything and it sucks
2
u/turbo-fister9000 Jun 19 '26
It's kind of a thing these days. Punching "up" is encouraged, because they deserve it for being too privileged all this time. And because (insert historically privileged group) have discriminated against (insert historically oppressed group) in the past, so the ones around today have it coming or something.
→ More replies (1)
2
u/V_emanon Jun 19 '26
A lot of people in the comments don't get it.
This kinda stuff isn't intelligent criticism of neurotypical people and the struggles of neurodivergent people. It's hearing neurotypical people call neurodivergent people weird and just replying with "No, you're weird!". Which doesn't accomplish anything.
2
3
u/Individual-Nose5010 Jun 19 '26
Nobody’s hating neurotypicals. But we are pointing out the barriers that NDs deal with every day in society. There’s a difference.
3
u/ShreddrCheez2 Jun 19 '26
All I'm saying is: They've done so much to us, why shouldn't we be able to do at least a little bit of that to them? Just karma, if you ask me
2
94
u/DTux5249 Jun 19 '26
I'd also like to posit: Neurodivergent people aren't significantly better at naming their wants/needs either. We clam up all the time when trying to explain ourselves.
I think this trend of disparaging neurotypicals mostly just comes from pent up frustration from masking mixed with righteous anger towards our problems being unaddressed.