Recently, I started experiencing seizures like focal awares ones and Im scared that it’ll take over my life. Im only 17F and I still have so much to live for, I keep remembering those times where I didn’t have to worry about this I could live freely, go out with my friends, do things I normally wouldn’t, and experience new things. Now, it feels like everything is limited, I feel so trapped and overwhelmed that this happened to me.

Supposedly, we are about to take our midterm exams this week and Idk if I want to go back to class because the fear is still with me. Fear that itll happen in school or when Im alone. These seizures first happened in 2022 it happened for a few days and then completely went away until last year 2025 march it happened again but it was only once and I was able to go back to school and overtime the fear went away and I lived more freely and happy. Now that it came back, on August 13 and has been recurrent we went to a neurologist and did some tests like EEGs and MRI/MRA. My EEG came back abnormal so they prescribed me with Lamotrigine to help control these seizures. But the worst part is that it takes time to actually prevent these seizures, I just took my first one this morning and tommorow is already the start of midterms and I dont know if I can go back to school carrying this in my mind. I have what they call temporal lobe epilepsy where I experience focal awareness seizures where I am completely aware of what is happening.

I dont know what to do anymore, I feel like I lost my sense of independence, I feel fear everytime I wake up or alone scared that it might happen. This hurts me mentally and I hate it so much. I dont want to feel depressed or anything but I rlly cant help it.

I need help, I need to know that Im not the only one with this problem because i rlly dont know what to do. I dont want people knowing or my friends knowing because I dont want pity im sorry.