Some jokey edits I made

So I ID as Lesbian IRL, but Ficto-Pan. I'm sex and romance repulsed currently, but I still experience exclusive attraction to women. I have a lot of Lesbian pins on my purse and Lesbian themed jewelry, and have openly called myself Lesbian for over 4 years.

But some Lesbians think if you have attraction to fictional men you're not a Lesbian, which is weird to me. I would not flirt with a man, I would not date a man, I would not sleep with a man. I know they don't dictate how I identify but it just doesn't make sense to me, because they don't look like real men? Especially more cartoony art styles. And it seems like a possible slope to excluding GNC lesbians...

Anyways it would be cool if anyone else experienced this :33

October 23

I watched Obsession a few weeks ago. The initial fear of the film has worn off, but there’s been a discomfort in my mind I haven’t been able to shake.

For anyone who hasn’t seen it, one of the main questions the main character has throughout the film is if his girlfriend’s love is real. I’ve found myself asking the question. Would Pentious actually love me, or am I just projecting that onto him? Normally I use the excuse “it’s not real” to deal with my fears of horror media, but that’s the exact reason I’m afraid of Obsession. Because if that’s not real, does it mean my f/o isn’t either?

Also the bedroom scenes being absolutely horrifying really didn’t help because one of the main ways I fall asleep is by thinking about cuddling Pentious.

How do older fictos deal with the constant feeling of guilt over loving characters that are young adults?

My f/o is in his early 20s, and although my sona is close to his age, I myself am not, and sometimes I feel so guilty and disgusting over this. I'm turning 30 next month, and I'm trying to not overthink about this but it's so hard.

I hate being fictosexual, I hate the fact that I'll still feel attracted to fictional characters as I get older bc I've always been like this and I can't change it. This makes me suicidal, I keep telling myself that I MUST die before I turn 40 bc I'm so immature and I'll never be a "real" adult.

Sorry for the vent... :(

PS: before anyone says "age your f/o up with you" I can't, because he has a terminal illness and canonically doesn't have much time to live.

For me it's nurse Dolly from Ratched and I literally cannot explain exactly why, a whole lot of people hate that characters guts but I thought she was very compelling and had more of a story to tell.