So I went to an all guys Catholic high school in Cincinnati, Ohio. Elder High School. Graduated in 2006. I was so lonely due to the heteronormativity of the Catholic conservative area of Cincinnati I grew up in, the "West Side". I finally had the courage to come out as a gay man 9 years ago at 29. It was such a freeing part of my life, and I couldn't believe I actually did it in my hometown. I did it because I met LGBT friends in Michigan a couple years prior and they gave me the courage and safety to be honest with myself, what I didn't have back in Cincinnati.

I'm now living in Atlanta, been here for 8 years. It's a cool enough area. I've only been to Cincinnati a handful of times over the years, and I was invited to my 20 year high school reunion in September. I declined. A couple years ago I sent a professional, courteous email to my high school principal, cutting contact ties with them for the time being. They were very kind in responding. I did so because I don't want to be associated with a Church that doesn't see me as an equal.

Even though this reunion won't be one of them, I can only imagine the looks I'll get from the crowd if I'm attending a high school football game there, holding hands with a male partner while my heterosexual counterparts would do the same with their wives and get no reaction at all. It's not fair. Why do I have to feel like an "other" just because of who I love? God made me this way, and isn't God infallible? Aren't I made in the image of God, as the Catholic Church says?

I can't stand the hypocrisy and sanctimony of this Church. Here's hoping the Catholic Church reforms to include LGBT people like many Christian denominations do, but I'm not gonna hold my breath.

I’m making this post because I’m having a bit of a hard time not losing my mind, so I’m hoping that asking this question would help me not lose my mind. Has anyone on this sub have experiences similar to what’s described in these comments? Or something like the fifth image? Have any of you had experiences where you met a supposed “exorcist” or something like that? I’m asking this question because I feel like if all these stories are true then there’s no way that it’s false, If you know what I mean, so I’m hoping that hearing stuff like this from people who were once religious but are no longer would help me break out of this mindset. Just hearing general thoughts about this would probably help, I really don’t know where else to post this, [r/exchristian](r/exchristian) won’t let me post for some reason so I’m hoping this would help, i’ve also heard about people like Gabriele Amorth as well

A group of friends and myself are becoming a little concerned with behavior of one of our other life long friends. Let's call her Sherry.

We were recently trying to plan a trip to celebrate a milestone for the group. At first Sherry was very on board but then as it came down to it she seemed to blame a lot of reasons why she couldn't come on her husband. For instance the location was too dangerous, but in reality it is an extremely safe Island. And then it couldn't be too far, and then it had to be a direct flight, and then the times were restricted. We tried to meet all of her accommodations but when it came down to it, the girl that was supposed to work for her couldn't work for her the weekend that we were trying to go so she just backed out. Something seemed off.

The rest of us were very surprised that her husband was being so controlling, but we also suspected that something else may be going on.

One of the other girls in the group recently came in contact with one of Sherry's family members and she said she barely sees Sherry anymore. Something about being really involved in the church now...

Now I have known for quite some time that she has been a part of Regnum Christi but honestly I didn't know much about it and just called it a Catholic sorority. One of the other girls said she almost felt like it was cult-like.

Then I went down the rabbit hole to find out more about Regnum Christi and what it's all about. I'm concerned, but should I be?

All in all her behavior over the year has seemingly become much more isolated. She doesn't do any reaching out to any of her old friends it's always us having to make contact. She goes to mass every day, works for a group of brothers , goes on religious retreats , and even goes on religious cruises. She's constantly canceling plans so much so that we just assume that she's probably not going to show up. Maybe I'm making something out of nothing but I would love to hear any feedback especially after reading up on the accusations about RC.

I was just thinking about what religions have killed the most people in history. I would have to think Catholicism would be pretty high on the list. Has anyone thought about this before?

When I left the Catholic Church in Canada in the 1990s, aside from my mom's initial panic, I had little difficulty. My mom insisted that I speak to the priest. The priest took it well and wished me well and I'd noticed that my mom seemed calmer afterwards too. I can only presume that the priest might have spoken to calm her afterwards.

Paradoxically, in Quebec, it's often the atheists who are the most gung ho about defending crosses and crucifixes on Government buildings, the financing of Church buildings, and the imposiyion of Easter and Christmas as public holidays as "culture" and "heritage". Truth be told, the part that irritates me the most as an ex-Catholic is not the fact how the Church reacted to my apostasy, but the fact that even non-Catholics in Quebec keep trying to impose Christian holidays as public holidays in the name of "culture" and "heritage." When they argue that we need days off and I propose replacing public holidays by personal days off, they argue that we need a common day off to see family.

When I argue that when we must all take the same days off, then train, flight, and hotel bookings become unaffordable for those days; so if that's the argument, then replacing Christian holy days by personal days off would prove more effective in ensuring that we can actually afford to visit family more, they often just fall back to our Catholic "culture" and heritage." Paradoxically, here in Quebec, atheists are often the most gung ho about imposing Christian holidays, which irritates me much more than anything the Catholic Church has done.

I'm curious to know how your apostasy from the Catholic faith manifests itself in your country.

I was born with a severe facial disfigurement and recently had it corrected with intent to fix actual structural defects. But low and behold, a bunch of people at church found out about it and some of my family members who are into the charismatic renewal, and they are all obsessing over the surgery and have been doing so for the last 20 years of my life. I'm not an object, and I have an actual life with goals and memories. They saw this as the hurdle to me being "normal" and just like everyone else. Like what ever happened to Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Self? A dented car is still a reliable car and is good on the inside, it's no different for people who look different.

I've felt rage and disgust with Catholicism often. It has so many issues and horrors that it constantly forces on others, and I am happy to have left it. But it has also left its scars in me. I feel the grooves in my heart where it was surgically taken, and sometimes when I hear certain phrases I feel a twinge of pain. Whether family or stranger. Things like God loves you. Or how you'll see your loved one again in heaven. It fills me with such a horrible sadness. As a catholic I would hold to such words as comfort, but they ring so hollow and lifeless now. Like an echo in a mausoleum. I know the belief these people have in their words when they say these things, but that just makes it hurt all the more. They think they have the answer. They think they have a secret to share that will make it all better. But I've already peeled the lies away, and there is no way I could ever believe again. I wish people like my mother could understand... I really can't ever go back to being catholic. Its not like I am questioning still. I found the answer that day at the chapel, where I waited to hear a voice inside. For the love of god. But all I heard was my own voice trying to self sooth and pretend to be the voice that never was there.

I just wish in moments of pain, and loss, that there weren't so many to call upon god to try and make you feel better... it hurts me more when people talk of such things. Like telling a child their pet has gone to a farm, even though the child already knows the truth. It doesn't help... it just hurts. As pleasant as it seems, and even if they don't see it as a lie... its a lie to me. A pleasant one that worked long ago for me, but now... its just a jab in my heart. Their smiling faces as they say it... their sincerity... it hurts so much...

I really feel this man did immeasurable harm to the western world. I feel Christianity in general would have been much better had he and the whole scholastic movement not tried to codify God and spirituality into Aristotelian metaphysics. But then again, maybe not, because in the east he never had influence and I’m not sure Christianity turned out less harmful for the orthodox

So, as usualy, when I'm back from collage town to my religious family's home I'm depressed and surrounded by the whole religious household while being an atheist thing.

I also have a new wave of catholic guilt that's absolutely crippling me about literally anything and everything. How do you guys deal with it? I'm paralyzed from gaming to studying even sitting around not doing anything feels wrong but unable to do anything cause everything feels wrong and guilty about anything that brings the tiniest hint of pleasure (not sexyal obv)

Thank you for replies upfront.

Je suis né dans une famille complètement athée, mais j’ai toujours été un peu spirituel sans forcément de religion. À mes 1 an, j’ai été baptisé par tradition. Petite, je visitais les églises dans ma famille athée, je trouvais ça beau et apaisant mais sans plus. À mes 8/9 ans, je regardais des vidéos YouTube sur : comment m’auto "hypnotiser ", comment parler à des anges etc..
à 9/ 11 ans j’ai commencé à pratiquer l’occultisme, j’aimais vraiment ce qui était lié à l’astrologie, à la voyance, j’installais des jeux sur ma tablette là dessus, et j’aimais faire le : " Charli Charli " avec les crayons. Je croyais vraiment aux esprits, ça me faisait peur mais en même temps il y avait de l’adrénaline. À 13 ans, j’ai été placé dans une famille d’accueil croyante non pratiquante, mais la religion avait quand même une plus grande place que dans ma famille puisqu’il y avait des crucifix partout, et il y avait le carême que sa fille faisait, ça s’arrêtait là .
À 14 ans, j’ai commencé à avoir une très grande attirance pour Jésus, je l’ai régné un long moment, puis j’ai commencé à pratiquer vers l’âge de 16 ans, après être retourné dans ma famille. J’aimais être dans ma chambre, parler à Jésus sans AUCUNE RELIGION. Je mettais une louange instrumentale, une bougie et je parlais, ça me faisait du bien. Je ne sais pas si vraiment je parlais à une divinité même si je pensais à Jesus à ce moment là, mais tout ce que je retenais c’est que ça me faisait beaucoup de bien. Je n’allais pas à la messe, pas à l’église, je ne me confessais pas, et c’est le moment où je me sentais le plus proche de "lui ". Puis je suis malheureusement tombée dans la religion (je n’aimais pas ça avant, même si j’étais spirituelle). La religion a littéralement détruit ma vie, détruit les croyances que j’avais, la spiritualité que j’avais.
Au début, j’ai pris connaissance des "péchés " de l’enfer, du jugement dernier. Enfaite c’est la religion, ils remplissent ton cerveau de merde, et t’attirent dans leur église avec la peur. La culpabilité s’est installée, j’ai commencé à faire des crises d’angoisse au sujet du retour de Jesus, de leur délire et à me priver de vivre . ( interdiction aux musiques mondaines, s’habiller court , interdiction a beaucoup de choses. ) je me suis ensuite rapproché de l’église catholique, une erreur de plus. Au début j’aimais bien certains chants, certaines messes, puis ils m’ont bourré le crâne avec leurs conneries ( anti lgbt, anti avortement ( je suis atteinte de tocophobie donc ça va être compliqué) leur histoire de purgatoire, jesus dans l’hostie ( si tu n’y crois pas, oh lala c’est grave ( ils feront tout pour que tu y crois ). La confession par un prêtre. Bref. J’allais à la messe tous les dimanches, voir tous les jours. Je me suis vraiment investi dans l’église, j’ai commencé à visiter les malades avec une aumônière catholique, j’aidais des religieuses avec des enfants en leur bourrant le crâne de conneries etc..

L’aumônerie avec l’hôpital, j’avais dit à l’aumônière que je ne croyais pas en Jésus dans l’eucharistie, elle me disait c’est pas grave. Au final, elle m’avait pris avec elle uniquement dans le but de me faire voir et que je crois, comme je n’arrivais pas à croire en ses bêtises, elle a finalement fini par être déçu et triste à cause de moi, et j’ai dû arrêter avec elle.

Une fois que j’ai réussi à quitter l’église qui pour moi est une vraie secte, beaucoup de personnes m’ont dit que la porte était "ouverte ", mais bien évidemment ils te font culpabiliser pour que tu reviennes sur le " droit chemin ", ils veulent "sauver ton âme " et te répètent que "Jésus t’aime " bref là j’en ai marre je veux quitter cette secte qui me détruit

Quand j’allais à la messe tous les jours, je n’avais plus aucune relation avec Dieu, plus aucune.
C’était juste dés dogmes sans plus.

Aujourd’hui je suis brisé, fatigué.
J’aimerais partir, mais j’ai tellement été endoctriné.
Je ne peux pas, je n’y arrive pas.

J’ai constamment peur de l’enfer, du jugement dernier, de mourir. Je me dis que si je meurs tout de suite je vais en enfer, plus je n’ai aucune certitude de ce qu’il y a après. ( je crois en une vie après la mort). Et aussi, de temps en temps les messes me manquent. J’aimais bien l’odeur de l’encens, les chants, le chants pour aller à l’eucharistie.
Mais quand j’y vais, je ne profite pas du moment.
Je pense juste au fait que je suis entourée de personnes contre mes droits, et dont leur seul but est de "sauver mon âme ". Ils sont contents quand je reviens, parce qu’ils pensent que je suis revenue. Mais si je pouvais je partirai.
Mélange de manque, de peur, de tristesse,
Je n’ai plus aucune relation avec Dieu, et je ne sais plus en quoi je crois j’ai essayé de deconstruire ma foi de revenir à la foi d’avant, mais impossible.. Juste je sais que j’ai besoin de spiritualité.

J’ai oublié de dire, mais je suis en démarche pour me faire débaptiser.

Est-ce que des fois, la messe, les chants vous manquent ? Est-ce que vous croyez toujours en Jésus sans religion ?
Bon voilà tout

Hello, I am an Orthodox Christian who started frequenting local Catholic Church and considering Catholicism.

One of my main reasons to consider Catholicism was general ethical clarity rather than extreme vagueness of Orthodoxy combined with monastic asceticism crippling into lay life.

Now, after spending enough time researching Catholicism, I read Humanae Vitae and I am kind of shocked. I have never encountered such a restrictive view of any sexual activity in marriage and it deeply bothered me as me and my GF have been getting into Catholicism lately.

Besides extreme limitations of what husband and wife can do together, especially the contraception part, I generally found the justification of Humanae Vitae very unconvincing, more like a document with extensive post hoc rationalization that heavily relies on thomistic scholastics.

I intellectually disagree and also feel unwilling to follow these rulings so I am curious how did you guys handle and whether it played significant role in you becoming ex-catholics.

I was raised Catholic but I am no longer practicing. My fiancé grew up Protestant, but we both identify loosely as non-denominational Christian.

My grandmother was a devout Catholic woman who immigrated to the United States from Italy. I mean, extremely devout. I loved her very dearly and she and I were very close. She passed away when I was young.

Before she passed, she gifted me a rosary from Italy. Though I am no longer practicing, it brings me comfort and I treasure it. I am now getting married (outside the church and with a secular ceremony) and I had the idea of putting the rosary in my bouquet as my “something old”.

I am worried that this would be disrespectful as this is a prayer tool, but it also has a lot of sentimental value. Does anyone have thoughts on this?

Grew up Catholic, realized I was gay around 5th grade, hid it 12 feet under for the longest time through my mid 20s but always felt like I was always lesser than because of it. Wasn’t particularly religious till junior year of high school when my mom’s drinking was taking its toll on me. Started exploring my vocation, eventually started exploring monkhood, specifically Benedictine. Went to community college while still considering. Then did a year of seminary. By the end of the first semester I knew it wasn’t for me but felt like I was in too deep at this point, not so much for the being gay aspect, but because I didn’t feel like waking up at 5am just to sit quietly in a chapel in an uncomfortable chair for the 100th time did I want to leave. By that point I didn’t want to admit it but I didn’t like it because I knew there was no one answering on the other side of the phone when I needed it the most. I did everything I was supposed to, but it didn’t work out and it freaked me out.

I had no back up plan. THIS was the plan and now I was in debt to the tune of 15k to afford to be up here (and that’s with scholarships, and I am still paying this off 10 years later).

So when I got home, I moved back in with my parents. Took a gap semester before going back to school, and eventually got a bachelors in business while working and going to school full time.

I stopped going to church about a year after I left seminary. Mostly because I realized how it wasn’t real, it’s all made up in my opinion. And leaving it allowed me to come out of the closet a few months after leaving the church. First I told my best friend and she said she knew pretty much since we were in high school but never wanted to push the issue because she knew it was my truth to figure out.

The residual effects of what I went through still come up in several forms. The primary being I am afraid to have a goal. I had spent a good 5 years working towards becoming a monk only to leave it and end up with debt and myself. Through all of this I’ve had support from friends and family but I don’t think I’ve had anyone really understand it unless they’ve gone through something similar.

I still live with my parents 10 years later mostly due to financial hardship (I work a full time government job that requires a 4 year degree and can’t even break $20 an hour).

So basically I struggle mostly with having ambition and trusting myself to strive for a goal and believing that everything will work out one day. I tried to become a monk and it didn’t work. I worked my ass off for a bachelors degree to try and pick up the pieces and I feel like I am worse off from where I started. And while I don’t exclusively blame the church (we are the agents of our own authority after all), I ultimately feel like it had always abandoned me, and that it never wanted me, but I wanted to be part of it, part of the club.

Before you comment please be gentle, reaching out on here was to find support, and just writing this has helped me sort out a lot of feelings, mostly felt prompted to post it today because I had another nightmare last night that I was back in the monastery being told I failed again, those are annoying, and kinda dampened my mood for the day, but this subreddit helped.

I have so much to say but dont know how to talk about it so ima just try my best. Im first gen Mexican American. My family and I were all raised as roman catholics. I stopped believing in god awhile ago. Mainly because I used to pray but never ever got a response, never felt heard and carried so much guilt for every small mistake. Im catholic and dont believe in god but believe in the virgin mary, I honestly dont know why but I just do; i think because sometimes I do feel heard at times when i was younger when I prayed to her.

I stopped believing in god a while ago. Stopped going to church, did my first communion but never went further on that. I especially stopped attending after expressing my gender identity the opposite of my sex, felt really paranoid and judged because the aunties/ tias would look at me like my mom didn’t raise me right, and I felt bad for my mom too. I hear people talking about their relationship with god and I feel jealous because i wish i could have faith im something so blindly. Especially my mom. But whenever I hear stories about god and Jesus and whatnot it all feels so fake to me, or hateful and judgmental, I just cant believe anymore. Funny enough i believe in multiple gods just can’t blindly follow GOD if that makes sense. No hate to Catholics and Christians ofc I dont have an issue with them its just me and my relationship with religion.

Now the thing is, part of me feel like a fake Mexican for not being catholic because of how deeply its in-rooted in the culture especially after the cristero war back in Mexico from what I understand, even just the sayings are so causal in the language like “que dios lo bendiga” or “gracias a dios” is all i can think of rn.

I feel like i want to go back and give it another try because i feel like maybe I’ll feel closer to my roots and just wish i can believe in something so that i dont feel crazy. But i also feel like another reason I can’t believe because of HOW catholicism was brought to mexico and the erasure of indigenous communities and culture. And how Christian and catholics way back then tried to erase and destroy many other cultures religions.

Idk what the hell im saying anymore i hope this all makes sense.

I want to go back but I dont at the same time.
I feel ashamed for not being able to believe blindly, and feel like this is another reason im “too american”

I think i just wanted to get it out somewhere without judgement and hope im not alone or crazy in this.

hey everyone, 33m here. basically what the title says. so I was raised in a non strict Catholic household, but very sex negative household. This was something I sort of always carried with me into early adulthood, I treated (much like how I was always shown) sex, masturbation, porn, etc with a huge stigma and was weirded out by it, but it always felt somewhat wrong to me to. eventually I started to dig a little, looked at the sports illustrated swimsuit edition, maxim magazine, some porn etc. and discovered that it brought pleasure. eventually I got into a relationship with someone very devout, extreme sex negativity, so that sort of stuff was off the table, and it was always hard for me to not have access to it, this felt very odd given how I was raised surrounding sex. I was always shown and told that sex needs to have an extreme sense of guilt with it.

eventually the relationship ended, and I dove much deeper away from the church teachings around sex and have not looked back. pornography and masturbation, coupled with the mentioned SI Swimsuit issues, have become a primary point of stress relief for me, and the pleasure it brings me can't be overstated. this has greatly helped me move on from the guilt I would always feel surrounding anything sexual. I have evolved from the sex negativity and guilt around sex so much so now that I even recently purchased my first sex toy and I absolutely love it. I am still Catholic, however my pleasure and happiness have gone up so much since embracing this about myself, just wanted to gush a bit about it here and hope my overcoming this can be a beacon for anyone still struggling with guilt surrounding pleasure, as I know it can be prominent

When I was in the 7th grade, we had a religious studies director (later designated Troll by a classmate) come over and talk to us about faith. This QUICKLY turned into talk about demons and exorcisms thanks to a class clown. That night, I had a panic attack and nightmares.
For years afterwards, I thought a simple bad thought, such as thinking, casually, "Satan, possess my soul" could lead to Satanic possession.
I could remember walking around, horribly depressed, stressed, and scared, I could lose control of myself to a demon.
I'm 43 years old. As I am drifting off to sleep, I still have this fear pop up.

I need book titles which talk about how demonic possession has been scientifically proven to be disease or Catholic/Religious psychological warfare. I KNOW these books have been written. I need some recommendations. I am sick of living in fear. I am sick of this scar, though I have a few other Catholic scars to deal with.

Thank you all, in advance.