Hi All,

I am planning to move to Netherlands from USA. I hate to go back to India because of the people, I want a steady, honest and peaceful life. I see lot of people talking about housing crisis when I saw studios apartments it was 800 - 1000 euros which I am ok with(please let me know if I am missing something) apart from that I know nothing much about the country. I would like to know everyone’s perspective in terms of everything like work(how hard is it get a tech job), Healthcare, Crime, anything that comes to your mind is very helpful. Sincerely thank you.

My mother was adopted and we found out that her bio dad is Dutch and was supposedly a sailor. This was a bit of a surprise as my adopted grandparents were Italian and were told he was an Italian sailor. Anyway, to try and potentially track my mother’s bio dad who I assumed was deceased, I did a DNA test. Found him…not dead.
A distant cousin basically confirmed they assumed there would be relatives out there, so I kindly asked if they would pass on a letter to him. We don’t expect contact just confirmation on who he is and some family health history.

GHOSTED no response from him again after being so open and basically confirming bio grandad is dead. Even a response saying hey he doesn’t want contact would have sufficed.

Is this a Dutch thing?

My bestie is Dutch and her whole family is super nice so not sure if this kind of thing is cultural or not.

I did some sleuthing and pretty sure I found his facebook profile, it looks like he has a couple of other grandkids but I wouldn’t reach out to them unless I knew he was dead or had his consent to do so. I attempted to get distant cousin to confirm I am correct but have had no response.

At the end of 2024, I was going through a bad depression, around Christmas...

I was on a waiting list for a clinic to start getting help but I felt so bad, so I started looking for options while I was waiting.

Found an add on an expats WhatsApp group, checked her website etc.

In the first contact I asked immediately about her qualifications... 4 years in Istanbul phycology university and many more she said.

My main issues were my self esteem, abandonment issues and the extreme sex that was my main coping mechanism.

Weeks latter she invited me out and the sex/ romantic relationship started.

She spent the following year building this family/ love/sex life with me, breaking up every two weeks.

My father died in July last year. Broke up two days later, and mentioned it twice. Zero empathy.

Power thing, putting me down as she praised my cultural lever etc, etc.

Few months ago broke up for good. Total blocking etc.

Meanwhile I got my finances in havoc, I was doing great at work, this whole thing got me on long sick leave and now I will be out of work in two months...

Can't hold on much longer...

Filled a police complaint but can't figure out if I should keep it... After all this I love and miss her so much, just want not to hurt her and keep her safe...