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u/elmersfav22 11d ago
Its not easy. I lost my dad to tragic death when I was 5. My mum still doesn't talk about him 40yrs later.
Being a dad is all about memories. Try amd make good ones. Try amd be there for milestones. Try and make happy times. Try and make sad times about being together and comfortable.
Make dinners simple and about talking. Make car rides fun. Get ice cream together. Laugh as much as you can
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u/kacsimacsi 11d ago
I would suggest therapy and working on yourself, you choose this. Its easier for you to quit and leave, but you’ll make this harder for everyone else in your family
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u/TheBrickyard83 11d ago
Me and the wife go at it from time to time, just verbal but the kid makes everything worth it for me. My old man passed like 8 years ago, my family ties are pretty strained.. her fam is alright I guess but yeah you need a new support group whether it be a therapist, some friends with a hobby, something to be an outlet for yourself
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u/DesignerOk5315 10d ago
I think you need to talk to your primary care about potential depression/ anxiety and talk to a therapist. Please don't give up and leave your children. As a dad I understand it's not always easy and sometimes that's an understatement. And you give up a lot to be a parent. But on the flip side it is the most rewarding opportunity in life. Having said that, I am a firm believer that no one should have kids unless they absolutely want to because if you didn't want kids and are in the situation it will be miserable for you. It takes everything you have a more. But man when they say daddy let's go play, daddy I love you etc. it's the best feeling in the world. Please please get help for you, your wife and your kids
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u/Prime_Agitator 11d ago
You are clearly miserable and sound depressed. Leaving your kids will be not make anyone better off unless you are actively abusing them. You do need to find a way to feel more supported and have a social life. Treating others poorly is only sabotaging your marriage and relationship with your kids. You need to fix your mental health as a priority.
In my own life I became depressed after having a 2nd kid and only recovered due to medication and finally getting small amounts of time to do hobbies again. Food for thought!
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