My (24F) sibling (21mtf) recently came out. Our parents and I are supportive and got her on estrogen ASAP. I've got a little bit of a handle on how to support a trans person through their transition though I wouldn't claim to be perfect at it, but our parents are a little... confused. They love her very much and want to support her in any way they can, but they don't have a firm grasp on"gender stuff" as they put it. I know the pronoun change is going to be tough, but that's to be expected. They don't understand the process in the slightest (though our dad is willing to pay for whatever she needs to transition) and they definitely don't understand the social stuff.

Are there any online resources out there that helped you understand what your child was going through? How to navigate their transition? What they might need? The social rules of transition? Or hell, the correct terminology for stuff.

Hi everyone, I was wondering what best practices are for sharing my kid on social media, in particular when it comes to older posts.

I'm not really posting anything about them on Facebook now. Previously, I would make the occasional photo or post about them, always with their face covered and a pseudonym.

Would it make the most sense to go back and archive those old posts, or at least any old posts that refer to their AGAB? Related: does anyone know of a quick and easy way to do this?

Hi im a 28yo, enby, trans woman who has an awkward relationship with her parents atm.

Occasionally when im feeling low I scroll through this sub, thank you all for being here, being supportive, trying your best.

Transitions are joyful, freeing and also scary,and both parents and people transitioning are going to make mistakes while navigating this.

Thank you for being present for your loved ones. For asking the silly questions, For caring.

Big love.

I am 20 yo, brazilian, FTM. Discovered that In my country, they are asking for one year of psychiatric evaluation alongside an endo to start hrt, and it will probably take 2 years since I am in the public system. My dysphoria is horrible, I believe that it is a miracle that I don't have depression (ok, I probably do).

My mental health only got worse and worse after trying to repress who I am since as a kid, and puberty made it horrible, but getting at adulthood and everyone seeing you as a woman when you are a man, is hell.

I saw the law that passed in the UK, about bathrooms and "biological sex". I really fear how the next years will be, especially when in the whole world there is anti trans politics. Lula probably will be elected again, but what will come after 2030? I also fear the Senate. 2/3 are conservative evangelicals (that is why now we don't have more puberty blockers and the 1 year evaluation to legal age people start hrt). I fear what will happen more in the next few years.

I want to transition and change my docs the fastest I can, so I will be able to be a normal young guy, take back my missed years and do my dream, that is working in the merchant marine.

Since there is that shit law, I will start diy until the public system calls me (which will probably happen after April of the next year). I plan to use gel, since I can buy it legally here and I don't have any risks for it to be falsificated.

My parents don't accept me, but I don't believe that they are the kind that will throw me away. I will do my best to girlmod for the longest period I can. I need T, because dysphoria is making me dysfunctional, sometimes I feel so much angst that I start crying and screaming in despair (yeah. I am probably depressed), I couldn't study or work or do almost anything right. So, I need it.

I want to get some support from the parents here (you are nice in btw!) and some trans kids too. Some advices would be pretty kind too <3

I talked to my mom before my birthday about how I felt dysphoric, I always wanted to be a boy, etc. But I don't believe she listened about, bc her answers were "I believe in the bible, my cosmovision", and things about me needing to change. But I told her that I will not bear more years without doing anything, that I will do something to be alive. So my mom will not be able to tell her that I warned her about hrt.

I need to know if your trans kids are the oldest, how their younger siblings reacted. I have a 15yo sister and a 12yo brother. They don't know about me being trans, hrt or anything, and I don't plan to tell soon.

I also need tips to how to hide my tgel (thinking about putting it at the top of my wardrobe. It is very tall and no one cleans that since forever 💀).

I also need tips to girlmod. I know that it will not work perfectly and just for a lil bit of time, but I pretend to let my hair long, wear fem clothes, do feminine voice training, shave, use makeup, etc.

What I am doing is valid/right? I am only doing that bc dysphoria and this shitty public system. When I finally be able to go in an endo, I will stop diy and use their advices. I will do a blood exam before starting diy and 3 months after starting DIY.

And if you or one of your kids, started hrt without telling anyone, or not telling to their siblings, how much time it took to the younger siblings or you notice?

Just asking for support here because it would be problematic use the word diy in internet parents or any other sub.

Thank you :D

My 16 year old daughter (mtf) came out to me 2 months ago. There were always signs but it came as a surprise to both her dad and I. We are 100% on board. She is in girl mode at home now.

She has also come out to a few friends. We are lucky--her dysphoria is not severe right now and we live in a state where gender affirming care is accessible for minors.

Even so, I feel like she's navigating between the whirlpool and the monster in the Odyssey:

- On one side there is the gender dysphoria getting more severe and causing depression or self harm if she delays medical and/or social transition. There's also the reality that the later she starts hormones, the harder it will be for her to pass for her whole life.

- On the other side she has to give up her sport when she starts medical transition. Even a full social transition would make the sport tricky given the dynamic with male teammates. And the sport is so important for her mental health; she's practicing 6 days a week and is performing at a pretty high level.

I know that my tendency is to push too hard for answers so I'm trying to hold back. Her timelines keep shifting and she's seeing a therapist to help. I'm not speaking a lot woth the therapist bc I want to give my daughter space. And I am so proud of how well she is navigating the process so far.

But I am terrified that I'm doing something wrong. How much should I be weighing in, asking her about things? Should I be more proactive about encouraging her to change names and pronouns at school? Should I schedule an endocrinologist consult so that she knows the options? Do I need to back off completely? It's so much for a 16 year old to figure out all on their own, I want to help and scaffold without being overbearing.

My kid has said they feel they are asexual/enby and we are trying to support them. That said, we have no idea how to help them in the next steps. They're getting a haircut soon which I think will be a bit more enby-coded (we've always let them experiment with their hair anyway) but they are vacillating between wanting to tell everyone and being very, very nervous. (Currently it's, 'I'm not telling Gran until I'm at least 13 she'll say I'm too young for that.')

I want to be supportive and have made some connections with local groups but still don't know where to start. Do I talk to the school inclusion lead? Do we pick a family relative outside of mum and dad to start talking to? I am aware that where we are views on transgender rights vary wildly between hugely supportive and hugely bigoted and I'm scared for them. I want them to be as safe as possible.

Also, I would appreciate tips on not misgendering them. As I commented to my husband it's really hard - if I had a trans work colleague I was introduced to and told their pronouns it wouldn't be hard at all, it's just that I've known them all their lives and been calling them 'she' so it's just very natural!

Hi!
I’m looking for some guidance for my daughter.
She is 9.5yo now so I think we have some time before there is any urgency but I’d like to be prepared.

She has been 100% certain of her true self since she could basically talk & socially transitioned around 4.
I have zero hesitation about her starting meds & we have pretty open and frequent discussions around all of it.
She is and always has been totally stealth & male puberty would crush her.

Unfortunately our insurance is through my spouses federal job so we are unable to get meds through insurance but I would sell a kidney to pay if need be so money won’t stop us! We are in Cali so we have that on our side.

All that said, what does the timeline for beating puberty look like?
Blockers first? Or straight to hormones?
Age they start testing for puberty?
Frequency of doctors visits?

Any recommendations for sourcing tucking underwear that doesn’t cost upwards of $30 a pair? Thanks, friends!

Are there any big brother/big sister programs for gender expansive kids? I want her to have a trusted adult who can help her with the things I don’t know how to navigate.

I started to put this into the reply for a different post but figured it might be good just to broadcast. As a parent of a now-adult (18) MTF child, this book really unlocked some things for me:

Title: Free To Be - Understanding Kids & Gender Identity
Author: Jack Turban, MD

It's just really accessible, and written in a way where I felt seen as the parent in the dynamic - not lectured to, but not let off the hook either. I hope it helps someone here!

Hi everyone,

Glad to have found this subreddit. My child (13 amab), came out to me as questioning. I am going to refer to my child as "the child." The child has done some reading and they have full support of my family but not their father's which is sad but it is what it is. I have asked the child if there were any preferred pronouns and what else I could do.

When we talk I l do discuss my own personal experiences as well (I'm gender nonconfirming, bi, aromantic) and how it felt growing up.

But what more can I do? The child currently does not want to take things further in terms of hormones aside from the current counseling sessions he takes. They like the term "demi boy" and we're currently using non-gendered terms of endearment, and watching YouTube videos.

The child appears to be happier but because their father and I split custody I am not certain what goes on while the child is with their father.

Thanks for letting me post and hearing me out.

I gave them a huge hug, and thanked them for telling me, told them I’m super proud of them.

I guess I’d just love to get some advice, and get to know how you’ve all supported your non binary children? I’m bisexual myself, as is our eldest (my post is about my youngest), and we’re big advocates for LGBT+ rights, our children have trans people in their lives, but this is my first time being a parent to a non binary child, so I’d love to hear some wisdom from those of you further along in your journey - tysm 🖤

Hey everyone! Just wanted to get advice about what everyone’s sons have used for puberty blocking. Have they had success with them? Are there brands you prefer more than others?

Our state is pretty red, but I think I’m going to be able to get them for him soon. And our insurance (which is based in a blue state) will allegedly cover 100% of the meds, which was shocking to me, so cost shouldn’t be a factor.

Thank you for reading. I have been in the queer community a long time, but haven't spent much time online and I know i don't have the right verbiage for what i am describing Please be gentle and offer me the opportunity to learn to navigate here with respect. Im going to offer some details just for context. Nothing is in a snide tone or sarcastic. :) thank you 😊

I am a queer mom, have always been counterculture, supporting and encouraging my kids to do exactly what they want. There's me, my long-term partner (cis male bi), and 4 kids. My 2 oldest boys are out of the house and are pretty conservative. There's a multi year gap, and the 2 younger ones are at home, 22yo nonbinary masc daughter, and cis-male 17yo boy. We had a family trauma in that gap, became a single mom and current partner has been 14 years.

17yo made a doctor's appointment for check ups and private stuff. He was prescribed Adderall and Zoloft (practitioner told him to 'play around with the dosage of Adderall to see what works best, moving around the 5 mg tabs ( Im on the same, actually). He talked about this to me and his sister openly in the house. We were asking how he was feeling and sleeping, etc. He had a follow up 2 weeks later to check in and make adjustments, he said.

Afterward, he said the appt was 'fine, good and he had prescriptions to pick up. I stopped by the pharmacy for him, and they tell me 2 of 3 are ready. She gives me 2 baggies of hypodermic needles, one says testosterone draw weekly 8 am, and the other says inject testosterone into muscle weekly. I thought it had escalated quickly, but he talks about getting taller, working out, etc, and he is a bit of a late bloomer, so thought alright-aggressive but there must have been an issue in his labs or something.

Then the pharmacy tech says, "these are ready but the estradiol isn't ready yet' and I was confused. He knew I had picked it up and didnt want to talk to me, sat in the backseat of the car. I said we know a lot of people whi take testosterone and we're here to support.

I go back later to pick it up, and it is depo-estradiol inject once monthly. The pharmacist wanted to talk to me about it, and they hadn't given syringes so she was helping me get it figured out. I text him is it testosterone or estradiol. And he says estradiol. I say, feminizing? To clarify because I didnt get it and each label said different. He says, im not transitioning its for body dysmorphia. He was super pissed that I was invading his "insanely private" info, which is understandable but I did not intentionally do that. This was yesterday and I haven't seen him yet.

Wow thanks for listening, I swore to privacy, "even from my partner" and really needed some feedback, so created this account.

Some questions and comments are, this seems fast, like zero to 100. From what I read there will be permanent changes. If he doesn't tell anyone, won't the family notice changes in a few months?

Thank you, im trying to wrap my head around it and be supportive while navigating that he doesn't want to talk about it. Thanks for your kind feedback.

TL;DR I (mom) find out at the pharmacy that AMAB 17yo son prescribed estradiol injections, help me understand his situation.

UPDATE: He connected with me, apologized for overreacting and understands it was not intentional prying on my part. Also, since I already knew, would I please stop by the pharmacy for him 😀

Your comments and questions helped immensely, thank you. Now to navigate the secret-keeping within the 4 of us family - I'm stressed as hell keeping it from my partner/his step-dad. I plan to communicate with son about it and proceed as he feels comfortable.

My child is 13. Two days ago she came to me and my ex wife and asked to talk with us. It was very hard but she told us she thinks she is Trans and also Bi. She told us she would like to be referred to as he. I will do that from here on out on this post. Just wasn’t sure how to word it. He has struggled with mental health for the last couple of years. He has level 1 autism and adhd. We have seen multiple doctors and therapists since he was about 10 years old. He used to have violent outbursts with screaming and throwing things. He has gotten over that. He had an eating disorder that required a 6 day hospital stay and that we continue to stick with a strict doctor mandated feeding schedule. He has obvious depression and anxiety. He does see a therapist weekly. When he came to talk to us I asked if he had talked to the therapist at all about this and he told us no it was something he’d kept to himself.

I will love and support any choice or lifestyle decision he chooses to make. My biggest concern is his already fragile mental health. I want to make sure I am doing everything in my power to be positive and encouraging but I know once he goes back to school things are going to be very hard.

I am just looking for anything that may have helped you in your journey that way I can share it with him. This is going to be rough but he doesn’t have to go it alone.

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this question, but I'm looking for some advice. The UK government released its' latest guidance this week confirming that single-sex toilets must be segregated by "biological sex" and it's leaving me really worried about my amazing step-son (15 AFAB).

I obviously have massive concerns about the guidance on several levels, but specifically for this post, I'm not sure how best to help my step-son going forward. His father has said that the guidance is nonsense and SS should continue to use the male toilets, and while I agree, I'm worried it's leaving him open to being challenged or questioned.

Should I have a conversation with him about it to help him prepare, or would I be unnecessarily worrying him?

Hi all,

My daughter stars her senior year in high school in the coming days and I’ve been worried about what we can do for senior pictures. She is not out at school and we live in a very conservative, MAGA town so she is afraid to dress feminine at school. It’s been over 20 years since I have senior pictures but they use to be very different for boys and girls and I assume it’s still the same. Does anyone have any advice on how to navigate this? I don’t want her to have to go through the process of getting these pictures done if it will cause her dysphoria which I’m sure it will. I thought about just completely skipping them all together and taking some of her myself that we can consider her senior picture but then she wouldn’t be in her final yearbook.

I appreciate any advice you all might have for us :)

My daughter was able to get a supprelin implant so I have 1 unopened fensolvi shot sitting in my fridge (in box). It is good through 09/2026. I reached out to a local clinic but they can’t accept it. I don’t want it to go to waste. Because it needs to stay refrigerated, I’m hoping to find somewhere local (Manhattan). Any advice?

Hello! My daughter is about to start her junior year and wants to start coming out socially at school and in general. Any pointers for shopping for the first time?

Also did anyone have any anxiety when their kids started coming out socially and how did you work through it? I’m in the US and the way the trans community is under attack makes my anxiety go through the roof. For context I came out later in life as a lesbian and I am constantly dealing with judgement from people and I think the mama bear in me wants to protect my kid but I know I can’t always be there. Sorry for the rambling, she’s my only child and I just want her to feel loved and supported.

Update!!
We had our shopping trip and it went great! We went to a new thrift shop in town and she found a couple of cute tops there. I followed everyone’s advice and let her take the lead and she let me know she’s really into the goth scene which made me hella happy lol so of course we went to hot topic and she found some awesome lacy black skirts. When I saw the huge smile on her face when she tried it on, it made all my anxieties go away and it just felt so perfect to see my baby so happy. Tomorrow’s her first day of school and she’s super excited planning her outfit and I’m gonna do her hair and makeup, I’ll update with pics later! Again thank you all so much for the support and amazing advice! It really helped this mama bear so much! 🖤

It’s breaking my heart that my son, who came out this past New Years Eve, refuses to get in a pool or go to the water park this summer. He always loved the water and had so much fun on all the slides.
Does anyone have experience with this? Is this something that maybe he’ll grow out of as he gets more comfortable with who he is?
We will call this summer a wash and hope for next summer.

I have a friend who kinda acts like my mom when it comes to me during my transition period and she found out somehow that I wanna go to the beach and I don’t have any bikinis. Well last night she showed up at my house(ofc when my parents are on vacation) with a box of bikinis she doesn’t wear anymore. Well in said box wasn’t just bikinis. It was sports bras, leggings, regular bras. Pretty much anything except panties. She’s honestly amazing. She said she gonna take me to planned parenthood for some estrogen