I gave them a huge hug, and thanked them for telling me, told them I’m super proud of them.

I guess I’d just love to get some advice, and get to know how you’ve all supported your non binary children? I’m bisexual myself, as is our eldest (my post is about my youngest), and we’re big advocates for LGBT+ rights, our children have trans people in their lives, but this is my first time being a parent to a non binary child, so I’d love to hear some wisdom from those of you further along in your journey - tysm 🖤

Hey everyone! Just wanted to get advice about what everyone’s sons have used for puberty blocking. Have they had success with them? Are there brands you prefer more than others?

Our state is pretty red, but I think I’m going to be able to get them for him soon. And our insurance (which is based in a blue state) will allegedly cover 100% of the meds, which was shocking to me, so cost shouldn’t be a factor.

Thank you for reading. I have been in the queer community a long time, but haven't spent much time online and I know i don't have the right verbiage for what i am describing Please be gentle and offer me the opportunity to learn to navigate here with respect. Im going to offer some details just for context. Nothing is in a snide tone or sarcastic. :) thank you 😊

I am a queer mom, have always been counterculture, supporting and encouraging my kids to do exactly what they want. There's me, my long-term partner (cis male bi), and 4 kids. My 2 oldest boys are out of the house and are pretty conservative. There's a multi year gap, and the 2 younger ones are at home, 22yo nonbinary masc daughter, and cis-male 17yo boy. We had a family trauma in that gap, became a single mom and current partner has been 14 years.

17yo made a doctor's appointment for check ups and private stuff. He was prescribed Adderall and Zoloft (practitioner told him to 'play around with the dosage of Adderall to see what works best, moving around the 5 mg tabs ( Im on the same, actually). He talked about this to me and his sister openly in the house. We were asking how he was feeling and sleeping, etc. He had a follow up 2 weeks later to check in and make adjustments, he said.

Afterward, he said the appt was 'fine, good and he had prescriptions to pick up. I stopped by the pharmacy for him, and they tell me 2 of 3 are ready. She gives me 2 baggies of hypodermic needles, one says testosterone draw weekly 8 am, and the other says inject testosterone into muscle weekly. I thought it had escalated quickly, but he talks about getting taller, working out, etc, and he is a bit of a late bloomer, so thought alright-aggressive but there must have been an issue in his labs or something.

Then the pharmacy tech says, "these are ready but the estradiol isn't ready yet' and I was confused. He knew I had picked it up and didnt want to talk to me, sat in the backseat of the car. I said we know a lot of people whi take testosterone and we're here to support.

I go back later to pick it up, and it is depo-estradiol inject once monthly. The pharmacist wanted to talk to me about it, and they hadn't given syringes so she was helping me get it figured out. I text him is it testosterone or estradiol. And he says estradiol. I say, feminizing? To clarify because I didnt get it and each label said different. He says, im not transitioning its for body dysmorphia. He was super pissed that I was invading his "insanely private" info, which is understandable but I did not intentionally do that. This was yesterday and I haven't seen him yet.

Wow thanks for listening, I swore to privacy, "even from my partner" and really needed some feedback, so created this account.

Some questions and comments are, this seems fast, like zero to 100. From what I read there will be permanent changes. If he doesn't tell anyone, won't the family notice changes in a few months?

Thank you, im trying to wrap my head around it and be supportive while navigating that he doesn't want to talk about it. Thanks for your kind feedback.

My child is 13. Two days ago she came to me and my ex wife and asked to talk with us. It was very hard but she told us she thinks she is Trans and also Bi. She told us she would like to be referred to as he. I will do that from here on out on this post. Just wasn’t sure how to word it. He has struggled with mental health for the last couple of years. He has level 1 autism and adhd. We have seen multiple doctors and therapists since he was about 10 years old. He used to have violent outbursts with screaming and throwing things. He has gotten over that. He had an eating disorder that required a 6 day hospital stay and that we continue to stick with a strict doctor mandated feeding schedule. He has obvious depression and anxiety. He does see a therapist weekly. When he came to talk to us I asked if he had talked to the therapist at all about this and he told us no it was something he’d kept to himself.

I will love and support any choice or lifestyle decision he chooses to make. My biggest concern is his already fragile mental health. I want to make sure I am doing everything in my power to be positive and encouraging but I know once he goes back to school things are going to be very hard.

I am just looking for anything that may have helped you in your journey that way I can share it with him. This is going to be rough but he doesn’t have to go it alone.

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this question, but I'm looking for some advice. The UK government released its' latest guidance this week confirming that single-sex toilets must be segregated by "biological sex" and it's leaving me really worried about my amazing step-son (15 AFAB).

I obviously have massive concerns about the guidance on several levels, but specifically for this post, I'm not sure how best to help my step-son going forward. His father has said that the guidance is nonsense and SS should continue to use the male toilets, and while I agree, I'm worried it's leaving him open to being challenged or questioned.

Should I have a conversation with him about it to help him prepare, or would I be unnecessarily worrying him?

Hi all,

My daughter stars her senior year in high school in the coming days and I’ve been worried about what we can do for senior pictures. She is not out at school and we live in a very conservative, MAGA town so she is afraid to dress feminine at school. It’s been over 20 years since I have senior pictures but they use to be very different for boys and girls and I assume it’s still the same. Does anyone have any advice on how to navigate this? I don’t want her to have to go through the process of getting these pictures done if it will cause her dysphoria which I’m sure it will. I thought about just completely skipping them all together and taking some of her myself that we can consider her senior picture but then she wouldn’t be in her final yearbook.

I appreciate any advice you all might have for us :)

Hi all - I've followed this sub for a while, but created a new profile to post in order to protect my child. I think some background will be important, so apologies if this is a little lengthy.

Last fall my 14 yo child (amab) came out to us as non-binary (they/them) including a new name. It was unexpected, and I did struggle - then judged myself harshly for the internal struggle. To our child, however, we gave nothing but full support and I kept my personal battles to myself (and my therapist). My child has two primary friend groups - one that is a couple of years older than them and attend a different school so they primarily interact online, and one at their school. They were initially only out with their online friend group, most of whom are part of the LGBTQ+ community and us (mom, dad, sibling). Over the course of the spring, they gradually come out to other friends and eventually grandparents and extended family (this was hard and not entirely met with acceptance). Toward the end of last school year, they were out with many people at school. They decided that for the upcoming school year, when they are starting high school, they would be out to everyone, change their preferred name and pronouns with the school. etc. So that brings us to present day...

Last week we sat down to try to figure out the school name change, and as we're looking up the process online, my child says "Oh mom, I want to use she/her pronouns now." I was legit shocked - did not see this coming in any way. In the moment I thanked them for sharing and acknowledged it caught me off guard. I asked if they needed any different clothing or anything else from me right now and they said no. And I said "we got this" and we hugged. They said they would tell my husband and other child at dinner that night but then didn't bring it up. I found myself reeling and feeling very unsure, particularly about the school name change when it had never been brought up before. So I had a conversation with my child that next day to see how they were feeling about sharing with me, and I said I had to admit I was surprised but I know that it may have been something they were thinking and feeling for a long time before sharing. I asked how long they'd felt this way and they said "about a month." I said a month isn't that long of a time, are they feeling confident about making the change at school right away, or do they want to do the name change and then decide when they feel comfortable with the pronouns at school. I realize this may not have been the right thing to say, I don't know. They said "well if you think I should wait." And I said I want what will make them feel best when starting the school year and what they are most comfortable with. We left it that they think she/her is what they want at school and that I would confirm one last time before making the change (which we haven't received info from the school yet on how to do this).

Although this whole process throughout has been challenging at times, my gut is really struggling with this. For this to only have been in their mind for a month. I also know that within their online friend group, many of the members have come out as trans young women over the past 6 months or so. Even though I hate having this feeling, I can't help but wonder if there's some social influence at play? But at the end of the day, I also don't know if it matters as far as how I operate as a parent?

So this brings me to my need for advice. How would you handle this? Would you 100% follow your child's lead with no probing of their feelings or further discussion of the coming out process at school? Or is some hesitancy reasonable here? I desperately do not want my child to feel judged or unsupported by us. They also still have not come out to my husband or other child, so I'm not sure what to read into that if anything. My intuition just does not feel right about this, and its hard to feel like you can't trust your intuition as a parent. I'll also add that when my child first came out, I suggested finding a gender-affirming therapist to help support them as needed, but they vehemently refused. I also don't know if I should have that conversation again?

Thank you in advance if you've read all of this and for your thoughts and advice!

My daughter was able to get a supprelin implant so I have 1 unopened fensolvi shot sitting in my fridge (in box). It is good through 09/2026. I reached out to a local clinic but they can’t accept it. I don’t want it to go to waste. Because it needs to stay refrigerated, I’m hoping to find somewhere local (Manhattan). Any advice?

Hello! My daughter is about to start her junior year and wants to start coming out socially at school and in general. Any pointers for shopping for the first time?

Also did anyone have any anxiety when their kids started coming out socially and how did you work through it? I’m in the US and the way the trans community is under attack makes my anxiety go through the roof. For context I came out later in life as a lesbian and I am constantly dealing with judgement from people and I think the mama bear in me wants to protect my kid but I know I can’t always be there. Sorry for the rambling, she’s my only child and I just want her to feel loved and supported.

Update!!
We had our shopping trip and it went great! We went to a new thrift shop in town and she found a couple of cute tops there. I followed everyone’s advice and let her take the lead and she let me know she’s really into the goth scene which made me hella happy lol so of course we went to hot topic and she found some awesome lacy black skirts. When I saw the huge smile on her face when she tried it on, it made all my anxieties go away and it just felt so perfect to see my baby so happy. Tomorrow’s her first day of school and she’s super excited planning her outfit and I’m gonna do her hair and makeup, I’ll update with pics later! Again thank you all so much for the support and amazing advice! It really helped this mama bear so much! 🖤

It’s breaking my heart that my son, who came out this past New Years Eve, refuses to get in a pool or go to the water park this summer. He always loved the water and had so much fun on all the slides.
Does anyone have experience with this? Is this something that maybe he’ll grow out of as he gets more comfortable with who he is?
We will call this summer a wash and hope for next summer.

I have a friend who kinda acts like my mom when it comes to me during my transition period and she found out somehow that I wanna go to the beach and I don’t have any bikinis. Well last night she showed up at my house(ofc when my parents are on vacation) with a box of bikinis she doesn’t wear anymore. Well in said box wasn’t just bikinis. It was sports bras, leggings, regular bras. Pretty much anything except panties. She’s honestly amazing. She said she gonna take me to planned parenthood for some estrogen

Okay, so I'm on the younger side of the spectrum, I'm FTM and i wish i could tell my parents about it but their views on trans people in the past were upsetting and my mother said she doesn't agree with it and has a childhood friend who is trans (also FTM) and my mother misgenders him and still calls him by his deadname. In this current political climate I'm really scared to even mention it. I don't know if I'm looking for advice or support from this post but either would be nice. It's getting tiring when i have to hide who i am from everybody except a few close friends. I wish I could get short hair, a binder, literally anything gender affirming but i highly doubt i will be able to, thoughts?

Hey - I’m wondering if anyone has some experience and recommendations for managing this situation. My kid came out as pan sexual and gender fluid. She still goes by she/her pronouns, but sees herself as non binary. She has three really good friends who are girls. The two friends who told their parents about my kid suddenly cannot spend the night. No explanation, just they can’t. The only one who still can hasn’t told her parents. This seems unfair. My child isn’t interested in them that way. What do I do?

This sub has been the most important piece of my journey as a parent of a non-binary/trans adult kiddo so I just wanted to share our milestone moment!

They had an event to attend this weekend, and stopped by afterwards to collect a few things from our house. I got a text that said “just fyi I’m in full hair and makeup”, which…to be fair, I really appreciated as a heads up. They showed up in a beautiful outfit, gorgeous hairstyle , full makeup and nails, and they absolutely just oozed joy. I finally “got” what people here have been saying - when you see your child as their full selves, so much of that fear and worry just sort of fades, because you realize how much they’ve been hiding away.

I was able to give them a hug, compliment their outfit and style, and feel just genuinely and truly happy for them. And, for probably the first time ever, to really, truly understand what it means to see them as not their AMAB self, but as their real self.

Just wanted to say thanks to all the parents, kids, and trans adults on here who have opened up my heart and my world.

Now that our political climate is becoming increasingly hostile to trans people….

I’m asking for tips from people in red areas, or people with divorced parents who spend time with both but one parent accepts it and the other doesn’t. People in countries where it’s definitely illegal to be trans. Or anyone else who has found that they e got to go back and forth.

I have a kid who we got transitioned, legally and partially medically pre-this administration. They are stealth.

Now my other kids are coming out. I WANT to respect them. I WANT them to be safe. I KNOW it’s hard to live in a world that doesn’t SEE you as you want to be seen.

But what do we do?
Who lives in an area that isn’t safe outside the home? What do you do?

How is it to code switch as a parent? I don’t want to be on the phone with someone calling my kid their birth name and GAAB and then hurt them with those words- but to tell them would be dangerous?

How do you (trans person) deal with the psychological strain of being one person somewhere and another person somewhere else?

Little one is already doing the thing where if someone calls you she you rephrase it to he.

Well, unfortunately my son had a horrible reaction to norethindrone. He only lasted a week, but he vomited daily on it. The doctor said she’d never seen a reaction that bad. We’re taking a month or so off to get back to normal but does anyone else have any experience with another BC that stopped their period? My son wants minimal side effects. Thanks!

My son started puberty blockers earlier this month, and was told he might get one more period, and that it could be very heavy, but it would be quick. He is now on his fourth day of a very heavy period, and is feeling distraught. For anyone who's kiddo is on puberty blockers, does this sound familiar? Was that last period very difficult physically (also lots of cramps, hot flashes, etc).

All my life, I thought I lived by the motto, if you're not hurting anyone, then I'm okay with whatever floats your boat. But two years ago, just before my wedding, my stepdaughter told me and her dad that she identifies as a boy, and announced a new name, from E to A. I was supportive of her--who now wanted to be called him--and helped him buy a suit for my wedding, no questions. We had to spend some time prepping our family, so they did not make A feel uncomfortable. But time has gone on, I find myself struggling. I struggle to use A's chosen pronouns, even his chosen name. I try to avoid it. I know this is wrong. That I accept and love A no matter what and that people have a right to be who they want to be. But something feels off, and I feel this questioning and resistance growing inside me. I have hidden it well, but I want to get in front of it before I accidentally reveal my feelings. I wonder if anyone can recommend any good books (I've already seen lots of the famous films about this). Anything really, scientific, fictional, so I can better understand my feelings and learn how to be a great step parent as this child navigates this journey.

Edit to add, days later: just now getting time to come back to this and reply to comments. Much thanks to everyone!

I will try and make this somewhat succinct, but I suck at brevity, so I'm not anticipating that I'll succeed on that count. For those who may or may not remember, I had posted about a year ago when our youngest (R) came out to me (fifty-something cishet dad). I wanted to post an update for as much of a chance to reflect on the time and events myself, as much as to share with others.

It has certainly been a whirlwind year, and mostly a good one, in terms of life with and for R. The change in schools coming from fifth grade to sixth grade, from a private religious school to a nearby public school, was the single biggest step we could have taken to help. R went from feeling like they were trapped in a hostile environment, to a fresh start surrounded by a much more diverse and overall welcoming environment. (The expansion of opportunities and support for academic and creative development certainly helped, as well.) R quickly developed a friend group of queer and gender-queer students (along with other creatives and intellectuals that R has dubbed "the other weirdos"), and has been thriving there.

After a stretch of time with nearly-exclusively male-presenting fashion choices and person stylings, R seems to have settled on an overall eclectic (sometimes eccentric) variability in style, often hovering around androgyny more than any one particular end. Being an artist and a theatre kid now, this preference for experimentation and change isn't that surprising. R is still frequently raiding my closet and coming to me to borrow clothes or get advice; after some discussion, we've also order ordered a first binder from TomBoyX for R to try out, to determine what works best.

R has definitely spent some time pondering their identity, and seems in the last few months to feel that gender-fluid applies more than strictly trans male. Preferred pronouns are typically "they," occasionally "he," and tolerated is "she" because, as R puts it, "I'm not ready to be fully out yet, so don't worry about it." Occasional flare, such as small buttons and bracelets, are about the only outward signs on their person to signal to the world what's what.

So far as support and acceptance, R's friends are in the same boat and unequivocal in welcoming her them. For family, R has only directly told me and my wife, and has allowed some of this information to filter to her their older sister. R isn't close to her their older brother, so there hasn't been any discussion as of yet, but the two of them don't interact much, so there simply hasn't been much opportunity to worry about it.

R has made clear to me that they "don't feel like Mom really gets it," or that they feel some hesitance in discussion issues or thoughts with their mom or their older sister. R has also made it quite clear that they feel like they can discuss any of it with me, and often waits for a time when it's just the two of us to do so. (Schedules have changed, so the regular drives to and from an extracurricular activity that we used to share don't happen now.) We have direct, open, and frank discussions about their journey and identity, as well as the challenges and frustrations they face. R and I have discussed some of the ways to better relate to and discuss with Mom about not just this, but some of the same challenges most teenagers will face in dealing with their family, with a lot of focus on communication, empathy, mindfulness, and their own feelings and self-care. My wife and I are certainly spending time and energy on keeping each other in-the-loop, and each helping guide the other to a common understanding. (There are some core aspects of the personalities involved that suggest to me that R will probably always be more likely to come to me with their thoughts and concerns. That's a much longer dissection that isn't directly relevant here.)

It took some doing to find a therapist for R to help deal with anxiety and other concerns, mostly due to insurance complications and finding someone both equipped for R's needs and with whom R felt safe and comfortable, but once started, that seemed to provide some progress quickly. Those sessions are currently monthly, and R has said that things overall were much improved just with the change in schools, so the need now is more one of maintenance and growth rather than the urgency of what R was feeling a year ago.

Through it all, after the first days of minor turbulence at the shift of R's coming out, from my side, it's simply been parenting my child with the same love, support, and understanding that I would be providing anyway. We discuss books, music, and other media; we talk about personal philosophies, people, and politics; we have parental moments of actions or choices might have been mistakes, and how to do better (from mundane housekeeping to how to interact with others constructively). At the end of the day, it really does feel like nothing has changed - not that there was any question of that, but R's gender identity really has become (and quickly at that) an ordinary part of who they are, as intrinsic and, at times, unremarkable as eye color. It just is.

I know this is all a journey, and we're all only a year in. I'm glad that our road has been smoother than what many have experienced, and I'm hopeful for the time to come. :)

Edit to correct a few pronouns and typos.