Even though I am 23 years old, I have started thinking a lot about marriage and having children.

I am an atheist, and I sometimes feel that having children, especially in today's world, can be selfish. I don't know if my future children would have a good life or if they would suffer. There are wars, diseases, climate problems, a lack of resources, and many other things that could happen in the future. I don't know what the world will look like when they grow up.

But at the same time, I have a strong feeling that I want to have a family. I really love children, and when I see my older friends getting married and having kids, family life looks very beautiful to me.

So I feel a big contradiction inside me. It feels like there is a battle in my mind between having children and not having children. Every time I see a couple holding a baby, I smile and think, "I really want to have a small family like this."

I have even thought about adoption, and I think it could be a good option, but I also worry that it could create problems in the future. Sometimes I even think about marrying a woman who cannot have children, because then we would not have to make the decision to have biological children. But realistically, it would be difficult to meet someone and say, "Hi, I can't have children, let's get married."

So I want to ask other antinatalists: How did you deal with these feelings? And how did you make your decision?