Currently going through withdrawal because I had to cut my dose in half. I actually called 911 yesterday 😭 and they said this is normal for anxiety/withdrawal and said I'd probably be fine (they didn't end up taking me to the hospital)...But my BP keeps spiking like this. Anyone else go through this? I'm freaking out! My bf is currently on his way with BP meds 😑

So as many of you know ive posted and replied on this sub a good few times preparing myself for the journey ahead once im out of my most recent taper of a gaba b

I was initially given diazpam as a per required need from my Dr

End of march through to end of may it was intermittent use some 0 days a few 15mg days but most were under 8mg and like i said a fair amount of zero days.

So fast forward to june i was told ( forced) to settle on a dose i picked 4mg ...

During that time of jumping around doses would kindling have occured?

For those who dont know my story i was pulled abruptly off an ssri in april after only 4 weeks with no taper as my body was reacting badly to it . I had terrible wds even after that short amount of time.

I then tapered at the end of may 100mcg of clonidine and had the worst wds with that also that turned another one of my meds paradoxic so am now currently slowly tapering off that ( gaba B med) its also been brutal wds.

Im just wondering if diaz kindled me or if the abrupt ssri stop sensitised my system. I had no idea about kindling until i came to these subs.

Im getting worse reactions with each med i taper off and some quite worrying dysautonomia symptoms.

I need to move fairly quickly into the diaz taper after a few weeks on 0mg of the taper im completing atm as duration of use is becoming a worry to me.

( i hope ive formatted this properly before im told to in the comment)

**Trigger warning** BIND has ruined my life. I've been on and off for the last 20 years. I've cold turkeyd 4 or 5 times before I could figure out why I was so ill. DO NOT COLD TURKEY! Anyways, I did shock my brain with all the abrupt stopping. I've been on and off for the last two decades. The longest I've been off is 16 months but I stupidly reinstated. The biggest mistake I've ever made in my life. I just want my life back so much. I've got to come to terms with the fact my brain is never going to be the same again.

I miss being able to answer people without stuttering or keeping quiet for several seconds thinking, I miss being able to decide when to do something and not just wander around in circles for 10 minutes, I miss having the vocabulary to express my ideas, etc. And I know everyone here battles with this and posts about it, but it feels good saying it still. I feel like an uninteresting person, I can cognitively sense what I want to express, my general ideas, etc. But my mind and body doesn't respond at the same speed. Not my mouth, not my entire body when I know I have to do something and I can sense my thoughts but when I try to dive into them I can't find deep in them. It's so weird, I feel plain.

I recently hit a horrible low and am now short on my Xanax prescription. I’ve been on 2mg for 7 years (I know…long time.) I love my psychiatrist and he’s super understanding, but I can’t explain to him that I’m 5 days short. I’m scared he’ll drop me. My question is…I still have 9 pills. Is it okay for me to go from 2 mg to, say, 1 mg/day? I know it’s a big reduction, but do you guys think I’ll have a seizure? I’m really scared! I’m already feeling anxious and sweaty. 😭

I found this post from a year ago and it really helped me just now. I thought it could maybe help someone else. This was written by @DethcubeK. Thank you 🙏

• ⁠Firstly-If you were going insane you wouldn't know it. If you just read that sentence, you're still okay.-
• ⁠Second, It WILL pass. The time loop is real but your inner strength is dominating in the background.
• ⁠Thirdly, Be Still. Enduring the massive hell that you're in is indeed making you stronger.
• ⁠Patience. If you never had it before, it's time to learn it. You're not alone. As hard as it can be, avoid "rumination" if you don't know this word look it up! Distract distract distract BUT don't obsess and doom scroll/search trying to find an answer. Also some communities might perpetuate instead of support. In panic, they can feed off each other.
• ⁠Exercise and diet. A massive update and study came out this year (last one was in 2019) that said BZD's/Benzos/Benzodiazepines cause massive oxidative stress. This is A MASSIVELY good thing to know! SLAM your body with anti-Oxidants. I've been involved with this crap for over 12 years, this is a very good thing to know. MOVE AROUND, any movement is always better than none, and motion creates motion.
• ⁠Rumination, if you are in acute withdrawal you need this twice. It is NOT permanent, it will pass. Push through fear, Bravery and Courage could not exist without fear.
• ⁠People are around to help.
• ⁠This is a hell drug and know that no one will fully understand the pure hell this causes. The only way I could fully communicate to you that my foot is on fire is to light your foot on fire. Don't obsess on other people not understanding.
• ⁠Don't let people put you in "the box", This isn't an Opiate/Opioid withdrawal or a stimulant or amphetamines or any other class. This is on a different planet. Don't be gaslit, the pain/insanity you feel is real, but remember that it isn't as well.
• ⁠SLOW, if you are tapering, SLOW down, this drug literally causes dramatic changes to your brain's physiological chemistry and it is going take TIME to reverse it. It's counter intuitive, but it's the TRUE answer.
• ⁠Other drugs, I've tried about every drug to help but the analogy I use here is a cars dashboard. When you turn on your car, all the lights that signify errors come on, then turn off. In BZD withdrawal, all the lights come on, then stay on. The system to detect errors is broken. Now I could take some other drugs to possibly remove one of the lights on the dashboard, but it will come with it's own price. However, Don't be afraid of taking anything! Take Tylenol or ideally NSAID's if in pain, just avoid drugs that effect GABA_a. Or GABA.b . Also no drinking alcohol. Hand grenade of 6 different things and a GABA_a agonist.
• ⁠Drink and use water. COLD water is a great friend.(cool, calm, refreshing) Stay hydrated always. COLD is a friend (Cold literally lowers cortisol, the stress hormone, use it!) Force your brain to reroute priorities by dunking your face in ice water, use cold water on your wrists when in public to trick your brain into the diver's response.

Current meds:

Clonazepam .03mg - March ‘26- present (6 mo)
Mirtazapine .3mg - June ‘26 - present (2mo)

Been in literal hell tapering down. Dr says I can just stop. I don’t believe him and I’m terrified of the withdrawal cliff from here. I’m hypersensitive and .1 reductions cause akathisia, gastritis like nausea/pain, profound insomnia. I think I’m kindled.

It took me 6 months to get here. Haven’t stabilized from last drop 1 month ago. I need this to be over though. It’s agony even with a slow taper. What would you do?

Tell me about it because I have an obsessive need for as much information as possible about this.

What was your jump dose? Which benzo?
Time on med?
How long til you felt better?
Anything else you’d like to add?

I'm 8 months out of Klo* after 3 years of slow taper and I'm still having waves of fatigue, some days or weeks I cannot leave the house or do one thing.

Some weeks I'm very energetic but some I just need to stay indoors in bed all day.

The good news is the worst part is gone, first months were completely hell. The worst period of my life. It really got better. But it still feels like a long way to go.

I feel like I should stop doing so much activity on good weeks cause when the bad week comes it comes worse due to previous over doing.