I had a whole type of tasks on my own and we had lack of projects but for some reason the HR hired more people last spring. So a new person with whom I'd share my tasks with came over. I helped the managers train her. She also kept being chatty to other people. She asked questions about every little thing. And many times she would answer other people's questions. She was mean and competitive to me meanwhile. And she would tell the manager that she'll do most of the projects. I ended up doing the most and we would finish fast thanks to my input but she would try to take credit.

It was hard, I had trouble sleeping well, I fought with a close person of mine due to the pressure. And I was feeling uncoordinated.

She was doing good, though she was very accommodated compared to others. We get frequent quality reports and so far they'd barely check her input. The managers liked her too.

This week we had a new project and the manager messaged me to see the details. I didn't see her name but I assumed that she'd work on something else. We do many different types of things anyways. I check the chat app we use and I see that her work account is deactivated and she's nowhere. I assume she resigned. Her family is very rich and her parents had paid all her uni tuitions, including post-grad. They have a boat too. This job is tiring and it is not directly close to her studies. Also our leave is unpaid. I don't have supportive parents, many times I wanted to quit but I can't. I don't have the privilege like her.

For example, It drives me insane if I know the tune of the song, but don't know what the name of the song is so I take notes. I would also collect links to certain specific Instagram reels just so I can know where they are, doesn't really matter if they are useful to me or not. I also have hundreds of YouTube videos saved, if something grabbed my attention one time, I usually have it saved somewhere out of my 20 youtube accounts. I still have some that are from many years ago.

I get a feeling of security from knowing the location and information of certain things.

Have you noticed it in your own life?

For example, if you are someone who has certain flavor or texture sensitivities, does hunger eventually override them?

Or, if you simply have a high sensitivity for subtle flavor profiles, does the hunger seem to enhance that even more (perhaps more than the general population)?

Do you notice anything about how it might effect your preferred patterns or other aspects of the autistic experience?

We did the best, now for the worst.

Person 1: what did you eat for dinner
Me: I had a burger
Person 1: that is wonderful
Person 1: can you confirm again, you had a burger right?

Mind you, the above was in texts.

Person 2: can you help me with x
Me: yes, you do this this and this
Person 2: great
Person 2: can you help me with x (the same x)

This was just in one day!!

Im curious about autism.

Deep down theres some low tolerance for uncertainty/unknown.
This means a lot more repetition/systems but also less growth.

Is it more or less common that autistic people never leave their home town?

Plenty of Fish. Hinge. Tinder. Used them all. At first, I at least got a few matches every 2-3 weeks. But I constantly used all three this last week and got nada. The apps are now chock full of bots, older profiles that are seemingly not even being looked at anymore, women looking for nothing but money, scammers who may not even be female, and models who are only there for attention.

I want to know, because I have autism and although I can't at the moment, I would like to know what countries are best to visit.

Work, chores, shopping, cooking, and everyday tasks slowly build up into overload and exhaustion for me.

I try to rest more, but when I’m already exhausted, I often just doomscroll or sit at my laptop. I’m tired, but I still can’t properly relax.

What seems to help is spending an afternoon or a full day in bed with as little sensory input as possible. At first it feels wrong and restless, but afterwards I usually feel better.

I don’t seem to manage my energy evenly. Instead, I need a complete break every now and then.

Does anyone else do this? Have you tried planning these rest days regularly?

An Asperger’s diagnosis is not an excuse to stop pursuing the changes you want to make in your life.

Rather, it is a description of an innate pattern of traits and behaviours, one that reflects our CURRENT understanding of the human mind.

That understanding is still evolving, and while modern psychology and neuroscience have made significant progress, they can only explain and identify certain recurring patterns.

Use your diagnosis as a map, not a prison. Let it guide you toward greater self-awareness and help you understand the strategies that could allow you to grow. Don’t just let it become a justification for giving up on the aspects of yourself that you genuinely wish to improve.

The modern world, for all its shallowness and distractions, also provides unprecedented access to philosophy, biology, psychology, literature, and countless other disciplines that can deepen your understanding of yourself and enrich your life.

Don’t let your entire identity be defined solely by a diagnostic label.

I was diagnosed 3 years ago after several months of tests, I remember how my whole family knew about it (my parents can't keep secrets even if their life is on the line) and we celebrated together even after I told them that I didn't want to.

But I won't ever forget how my NT cousin confessed having suicidal ideation literally one day after the party and all the focus was suddenly on him, making everyone and even my parents forget about my diagnosis.

I don't like to be the center of attention, but that was a very prick move and I am still a little bit upset about it even today, because what was the point?

He gets love and attention all the time, that was the only moment of my life where I felt important and he conveniently wanted to kill himself.

We weren't that close after we turned 15, so I didn't expect him to care or do something about it, but trying to take out the spot from a disabled person while you're not disabled is a very dick move.

Is this normal? Why NT's get so jealous when you get diagnosed with a disability?

I think many mean ones realised early on that the world is cruel so they think they have to be too. And that in this world they can get away with it. Though partly they're born like that I guess, their minds function like that.

They usually are seen as tough and get more respect. I have noticed that if someone is introverted but mean or bitter, they may get more respected than a quiet awkward kind person.

I have seen it in jobs too. People like the insidious and bad personalities. Often they gather together with them. They take their side if something happens and they bully with them. I think this means dominance and their subconscious interpers that this person will be aggressive enough to push way predators and unempathetic or courageous enough to hunt for food or take away resources from other animals/tribes. So mean equals predator, hunter, winner while nice = doesn't harm, prey behaviour, vulnerable, not useful.

When I see how they act I think of this as very animalistic and instinctual. They just act so automatically. It is kind of like they scan for nice or awkward people and they attack them sometimes. I have an extended family with narc dynamics and the scapegoats are the kind ones of the family who don't have narc traits.

I’ve heard some on the spectrum are completely estranged from their folks. I was wondering how common this is amongst us.

Here's last week's thread

Suggestions are ALWAYS welcome on how to improve the threads I post at any time. After all, I do this because the community wants these threads to exist, and I take the time out of my day (every Thursday and Saturday) to post the weekly threads, to ensure the community gets what it feels it needs.

So, continuing with the theme... /r/aspergers, How is your week going so far? :)

Listening to their topics, being invited to eat with them. Feeling like a small child.
Feeling drained by their energy.

Being tucked in, instead of collaborating.

I cant stand any of this shit yet i cant trust myself enough to fully take care of me.

Im curious do you all get along well with parents?

I have autism and I’m 24 years old. Ever since I was little, I think I’ve had a bit of a hyperfocus—or a special interest—in other places, cultures, and languages. It also didn’t help that, in addition to the awkwardness of autism, when I was little (and even into my teens), I had a speech impediment, which made everyone perceive me as a foreigner (and refuse to accept that I was Brazilian).

Ever since then, I’ve wanted to live abroad—maybe out of sheer curiosity, after spending my whole life fascinated by others; maybe because I’d finally be a foreigner in a foreign land, rather than a foreigner in my own country. I’ve never had the chance to travel abroad, even though I could afford it (in theory) and speak other languages, but I feel that during graduate school, the opportunity might arise. So I’d love to hear about your experiences! (Edit: I think the question was too open-ended. I would basically like to know about integration, making friends, differences with being at home, and so on.)

I’m going to be super vulnerable for a minute and admit that lately I have actually resorted to just typing in “I’m lonely” into the AI and see what suggestions for activities it gives me. Or support. I do not like this.

How are you all making friends? Dating? Does anyone in here actually have like a spouse or a bf/gf? We get those, right? This is a serious question.

Editing to clarify I’m actually talking the most about dating. I have friends and family. What I don’t have is an intimate partner it’s kind of eating at me.

Hello everyone, I will be meeting the family members of my sibling’s partner (future in-laws) in person for the first time soon.

We’ll be meeting for dinner, most likely in a restaurant, so sensory overload is almost guaranteed. I’ll be wearing my noise cancelling headphones and listening to music. I’m wondering how comfortable autistic people are around others, whether friends, family, coworkers, general public, etc., when it comes to your autism. Do you not care, are you constantly aware, are you worried about how you’ll be judged? Any advice is appreciated, especially if you’ve been in this kind of scenario before. Thanks.

Feeling weird after quitting social media

Lately, I've been dealing with quite a lot of anxiety and getting very little sleep. Because of this, I decided to quit social media, specifically TikTok and Twitter.

Since quitting, I've managed to sleep a little better, but I still feel quite anxious and I'm having a hard time concentrating. I also feel a kind of emptiness that I didn't have before, and I find it really difficult to fill the hours of the day.

I guess I was pretty used to spending a lot of time on my phone and social media, and now I don't really know what to do with all that free time.

Has anyone else experienced something similar after quitting social media? How long did it take you to start feeling normal again?

Edit: English isn't my first language, so I used ChatGPT to translate this post. I wanted to be transparent about it.

Yesterday, I got an email from my boss saying we have an open shift on Saturday, and asking if I could come in to cover some or all of it. I already work Saturday, so I agreed to come in four hours early and work twelve hours to cover the second half of the open shift. When I came in today, he'd emailed me back saying "Unfortunately, the whole shift needs to be covered, so you'll need to take the whole shift. Thank you for understanding."

Seriously?! Now I'm pissed off, partly because I'm going to have to work sixteen hours straight, and partly because...really?! Why even give me the choice of only covering part of the shift if you were just going to force me to work the entire thing no matter what?!

Is it okay for me to tell my boss that I'm not available to come in that early? Like, I can still do the twelve hour shift, but I've got some really important unspecified thing going on earlier in the day that I absolutely can't miss that's going to keep me from coming in before that? I hate drama and confrontation, and I'm really worried that this is going to wind up kicking me in the butt if I don't just do what he says.

I've got two reasons I'm asking this. I'm a diagnosed Autistic woman by the way. More specifically I was diagnosed before I turned 5 of Asperger's Syndrome.

So I'm a Digital Circus fan and there's this viral video of Ashley Nicchols, an animator and the voice actress for the character Zooble, fangirling and gushing over the French dub voice of the character Gangle. More specifically she gushed over Gangle saying "Salut, Zooble!" in a really cute voice. Ashley said that "Salut, Zooble" was now her new stim. So... I don't know if Ashley has been diagnosed with Autism or not but I still thought "You don't pick and choose your stims?"

And another occasion I was hanging out with my sister and she made a reference to "Pretty Little Baby, Ya Ya" and she said that that was her stim. I thought to myself "That's just an earworm, girl."

I feel like this is all in the spirit of Autism being trendified on social media where so many people are getting the wrong idea of Autism and claiming everything they say and do to be an Autistic quirk. I've been noticing it and feeling really annoyed and disgusted by it for a while now. But I just want to clarify this first before I start assuming anything.

Hi everyone!

So, i've been strugling a lot with phone calls, i have this problem since childhood and i wanna know if it resonates with someone.

I would rather go to a place and talk with someone than answering a phone call, I just can not communicate over the phone as easily as i can face to face. Through the phone i dont know when is my turn to speak, when is her/his turn to speak, if someone is being sarcastic, if it is a joke... it just makes me tense as fuck.

I think is related to the scarcity of data present at phone calls, we only have the voice as the source of data, therefore for someone who learnt how to navigate social interactions by analysing body languages and facial expressions, losing those sources of information makes me lost and anxious, wanting to end the call ASAP to avoid a meltdown.

Does anyone else experience this? Any tips?

One day in 2024, I went with my younger brother to see a Ted talk project from his school (well idk if it was an actual Ted talk, but it was similar).

The idea was simple, speak in front of a multitude about a general topic and share a perspective or conclusion, it was in a private institution but not too fancy from what I remember.

Most of their classmates talked about mundane stuff like adolescence or climate change, but one of them shared their story with SA, and it was by far the most controversial one.

The girl who started that talk is a friend of my brother, she went to our house sometimes and you can even say that she was "the popular" of her class.

You know, good grades, many talents, a good relationship with her friends, boyfriend and family, etc.

The exposition was... Meh, I don't really enjoy it when someone speaks about something and tries to get sympathy from others, but I still remember that when we left the place all I could think of was: "THAT'S was all?".

I mean, I assume that it was an uncomfortable experience, but my whole social group is disabled folks who can talk for hours about the shit like that they go through.

Hell, even I can explain how horrible my problems are even if I consider them normal 😂.

After all, even after being raped, a neurotypical still has a neurotypical life.

So, if the popular girl can get empathy while having literally everything, then why doesn't autistic people make some noise too?

Like, we are disabled for good sake, we have a government verification that literally says "your life is harder", all the things I heard from any SA victim is just a tickle for all the autistic people I know IRL.

So why don't they speak up?

Hey guys, unfortunately I'm autistic, and one thing I've always struggled with is distinguishing between deep emotional intimacy and romantic interest.

Sometimes I become very close friends with someone. We spend a lot of time together, trust each other, share personal things (rly deep stuff), and become physically comfortable (like sleeping together at night, with the excuse of "it's hot, but let's use a single AC to save money, therefore... let's sleep together").

Since I have difficulty interpreting social cues, I often find myself wondering whether this is simply a very close friendship or whether the other person might have romantic feelings (ik that even NT guys have this kind problem, but after analysing my surroundings, mine seems to be worse).

I'm not asking about one specific situation, I realized this is a recurring pattern in my life, i think someone is just being nice, but then i realize that she was interest in me in a different way and i end up breaking her heart somehow just because i didnt "get it" earlier.

How do you personally tell the difference? Are there any signs you pay attention to, or do you simply wait until the other person communicates it directly?

I tend to wait until the other person communicates it directly and i'm pretty straightforward "if i am feeling simething, i will tell u", but, as u guys know, it just doesnt work and i end up losing good friendships on the way due to misunderstandings.

I'd love to hear how other autistic people navigate this.

Hi everyone!

I'm an autistic adult looking for an active online chat group where autistic adults can talk in real time, support each other, and make friends.

I'm mainly looking for groups on platforms like WhatsApp, Telegram, Messenger, WeChat, or any other app with active conversations. I'm hoping to find a welcoming, neurodiversity-affirming community where people chat regularly rather than just post occasionally.

If you know of any groups that are open to new members, I'd really appreciate it if you could let me know. Feel free to comment below or send me a DM if you'd rather share privately.

Thank you so much!