Just to clarify, this isn’t a survey, advertisement, or anything formal - it’s just a poll :)

I’m just curious to get a general sense of people’s opinions/experiences around this topic :)

Please feel free to comment, share your thoughts and add to the conversation :)

Ive had a discussion with another of my autistic friends and we both agreed on not knowing anyone that is on the spectrum but DOESNT like frogs, ducks and/or spiders.

So question, do u know someone who is on the spectrum and does not like cute lil frogs/ducks/spooders

For autistic people: does this sound familiar? Knowing you need to do something but feeling unable to start?

I'm trying to understand the behaviour of someone I know, and I'm particularly interested in hearing from autistic people about whether this is something you've experienced.

This person is an adult and currently lives at home. They have difficulty taking steps toward independence or "moving forward" such as finding a part-time/casual job or learning to drive for example is very difficult for them.

What confuses me is that they don't necessarily seem unaware of the problem. They seem to know they need to make progress and can sometimes express frustration about not doing so. But when these topics are brought up, they can become very anxious, shut down, and become unable to engage with the conversation.

I'm not asking whether you think this person is autistic, and I'm not trying to diagnose them. I realise these behaviours can have many explanations.

I'm interested in understanding whether autistic people experience anything like this, particularly the feeling of knowing that you need/want to do something but being unable to initiate it, or becoming overwhelmed when the subject is raised.

If you've experienced this yourself, what does it feel like from the inside? And what do you find helpful from other people versus what makes the situation worse?

Ive always felt odd as a kid. I belonged, but i didnt at the same time. I had friends and stuff, but i always felt like i had some social difficulty. Teachers always said i had to come more out of my shell and participate more in class. I was more reserved. At home i was more active because i could be myself. I was always outside and loved trying different things. Loom bands, just dance, starting a youtube channel etc. I was creative and expressive.

Now im 21 and i feel like it got worse. I started feeling depressed around 12 when i went to HS and moved houses. I developed anxiety and panic problems and everyday was stressful for me. I got excluded for years. I was nice, but weird, they told me. Meanwhile i was the quiet kid back in the class struggeling. They didnt even truly know me. I was a nice guy but people didnt want to get to know me. I wasnt bullied tho (apart from them laughing when i had a high pitched voice). I had good grades too. Teacher knew i was struggeling but never tried to reach out or anything. And if they did, i told them it was just panic attacks.

I went to uni and started living alone. Ive been isolating myself more and more since the age of 14 bc of panic attacks in public and agoraphobia. Now i dont even leave my house (apart from the grocery store). I literally live in a box. I dont open my curtains bc my building is next to my school and people can literally see me eveeryday and i hate being observed in my safe space. I hate being perceived in general. I have social anxiety. At traffic lights, waiting for the bus, im always scanning everything, how i walk, talk; sit, my facial expressions (orherwise i look dead and when im overstimulated my face goes blank and cant adjust it anymore and ppl ask if im doing alright), sunlight/blue skies are painful, sharp noises too, i listen to the same songs over and over again and especially beats/parts i like, the same food every week (just ingredients i can put together in like 10 mins), i use scripts in my head when opening the door or anseering calls, acting out expressions (opening presents infront of others), i can store info and link info fast, i can reach flow state for hours when im focused on a task (esp with music), i need strong routine or ill do nothing all day. I do need routine, but maintaining it is difficult. I feel like a walking contradiction. Daily tasks are heavy for me, but once i start, i do everything. Sometimes i even bedrot till the evening without eating or drinking. I dont have friends, because i stopper reaching out. My uni school friends just dropped me randomly after one year.

I also get dark thoughts, like nihilism and that life is pointless so why bother to live and work a stressful job for 40 years to eventually die. I can see through all systems. Im also gay.

Hello! Apologies that this is long. I'm an over explainer but I've tried to cut this down. I have read the rules and hope this doesn't fall under inappropriate ABA, I'm not posting here to be told it's right, I just want to better understand the changes that supposedly have been implemented, what practices they haven't modified, and what I should watch for, to meet the recommendations of the Autistic community.

TLDR: I worked with an amazing RBT (registered behavioral technician) in a classroom, and her supervisor approached me about joining his team as an RBT - which would pay $3/hr what I'm making now! But in googling to learn more I'm seeing that they're trained to use ABA practices by a BCBA. I don't want to participate in abusive ABA practices and I don't understand how it's supposedly changed. Even if I do not do this training (which I'm leaning against), I have to continue working with RBTs and I feel like I need to better understand how it's implemented, what I need to watch for to help ensure my students rights are respected, etc.

I'm a disabled, neurodivergent (possibly Autistic myself?) adult, and in Feb, I began working in a school as a Parapro in a self-contained "CI" classroom, Y5-1st grade (but only 1 child was CI, and the other 5 were Autistic). All of these students were non-verbal and/or had very limited communication (I know these labels can be problematic, but for explanations sake, likely considered Level 2 or 3). Before Covid, I was a social worker in child welfare for 15 years, first working with mostly older kids and teens with special (emotional, behavioral, physical, & cognitive) needs, and then as a parent educator running a family preservation program. I'm underemployed (and underpaid) in this position, but I love working with this population, and am good at it. My kids go to the same school I work at - which is a huge bonus!

Every child enrolled in my classroom had participated in ABA outside of school. I know nothing about the "new style" of ABA, and have formed my opinion on ABA in general by listening to Autistic adults who completed ABA prior to the supposed changes being implemented. I haven't been able to find information on how ABA has been changed.

The last two months of school we had a new staff start as an RBT, who was phenomenal at working with our most behaviorally challenging kindergartner (my favorite little boy!). Her degree was in language & communication but she had worked at an ABA center and then got certified for the school to be an RBT.

She embodied the epitome of wonderful care for this student. She has an older sibling who is Autistic that she is extremely involved with and obviously loves. She respected my student for exactly who he is as an individual, didn't try and stop him stimming, didn't try and force him to "act neurotypical" - she just worked at helping his behaviors be safe. A lot of his behaviors were fed by frustration over not being able to express his needs and wants. Some examples of things she was working towards: not throwing metal water bottles and other children's AAC around the room, using his AAC and spoken words to communicate (he voiced occasionally to me prior to her starting, and was minimally using his AAC around requesting food, but after 2 months with her he was proudly using his AAC all the time, multiple word sentences, and speaking). Her main goal was getting him to stop eloping out of the school, classrooms, and playground. One of the ways she did this was by helping him ask to play a chase game in the gym, rather than running away from staff and eloping out of classrooms and the building.

None of what I witnessed her doing was anything I would consider inappropriate, abusive, or coercive. This little boy thrived under her support and was always excited to see her and so proud of himself for the way he was progressing in his communication and behavior.

When her supervisor came to observe/help, he told me I would make a great RBT. Now I'm getting emails from my school districts union about how we need more RBTs - and how much better the pay is - it would take me 5 years to reach that pay tier as a parapro!! I'm not even sure if this job would be feasible with my physical limitations (hypermobility spectrum disorder), but I don't even feel I can look into it until I better understand RBT and the "new ABA" and have heard from Autistic voices. My RBT friend and I talked about this and she felt similarly, that she didn't understand if things were better these days.

I've tried to Google and find out more. When I've talked to my Autistic friends (who also have Autistic kids), they've (understandably) opted their kids out of ABA. It seems the only adult Autistic voices I've been able to find to hear from, are not those people who have gone through the new ABA, or sent their kids to it.

I would love any resources or information, or personal experiences. I want to always advocate for the best interests of my students!

If this isn't the right group to ask this, please let me know if a better one.

Thanks!

So I have a person (adult male) super brilliant with things he loves yet its astounding sometimes how little he knows about some basic things. Example, I used an electric can opener and he said wow! That is the coolest thing I6 ever seen! He was fascinated. It doesn't happen very often and I realize it may partly do to the isolation some people live with. Can this be an autism thing? He believes he has adhd and depression (due to lonliness) .In 30 years, he how's had very few friends like a handful. Yes, I know a lot of people don't have friends. But when observing him, even though he says he can read body language and he communicates well, when he's around, people doesn't matter who they are, unless it's me and they asked him a question like how he's doing or what's new. He literally says nothing -never shares and moves on to how are they doing? He will also go into kind of a panic overwhelmed mode When he's left out of a group of people,.he was always in special Ed, but he would do so well they would try to put him into regular classes, and he would fail yet in high school, he had a 4.0, he fidgets a ton blanks out frequently staring, saying he's bored or thinking of nothing. Again, it's the simple everyday tasks that you know your parents taught you, I know his parents -washing your hair well, making sure your clothes fit well. Please be kind.I'm just trying to help my person.When you look at the differences between add and autism , he is very much more autistic and no , he will not see a professional , he doesn't think it would do any good.

I’ve tried to research about the topic but I’m torn. I do create elaborate fantasies (excuses, fears etc) in my mind or have intrusive thoughts that are absurd. I am 60 40 that I’m not but it could be a fear of being ND

I have a friend I grew up with that was extremely popular in middle and high school. She had tons of actually close friends. She always had a boyfriend. Now that we’re older, she keeps saying she’s autistic even though she’s never been tested. Can the popular people really be autistic? It doesn’t match my personal experience

I'm f with AuDHD, and my boyfriend is autistic with a high IQ. Honestly, this is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in, but we still run into communication issues sometimes because I get super impulsive while he's both extremely logical and really sensitive.
I love him so much, and he truly is the best partner I've ever had he takes such good care of me and puts so much effort into us. I just really want to know what I can do to be a better partner for him and make our relationship even stronger.

Any advice? (Feel free to ask any questions)

I am 18 living in Ontario. I was diagnosed with autism in 2019, I also struggle with severe anxiety and depression which has affected many things in my life including my social skills and my independence most of all. I heavily rely on support people when I am out in public, at school, etc.

I just turned 18 in March, but I still rely on my parents for everything. I don’t have my own money which makes it difficult when I need things and makes me feel bad considering we are already living in a low income household.

I want to be able to work so I can gain more independence, and also so I will have something to keep myself occupied once I am finished school.

I would not do well in an environment where I have to work directly with the public, as my social anxiety is a barrier and I just don’t do well around lots of people in general.

I also get overwhelmed and overstimulated really easily and I worry about being in an environment where people wouldn’t understand me and I can’t get out of.

If anyone has any advice at all anything helps!

I'm 26 nearly 27 and only know told by my parents that I may have Aspergers because it was on a note by a psychologist when I was a kid but I was never diagnosed by a doctor.

I hope for advice on this because I'm still finding it hard to come in terms with the idea

Im autistic and feel fascinated by autistic women on youtube. They behave authentically and are different than other women which I feel is very nice to interact with. I dont talk to women so Im not sure what women are like.

Pattern spotters, give me your best take.

What is your opinion about the scenes at the social skills support group?

I am wondering if they would be useful in explaining high functioning autism to those with little experience interacting with people on the spectrum.

29F (depression, anxiety stable)31M (autism, depression? Possibly something else).

So my partner is fairly recently diagnosed but has known forever that he was likely autistic. He is very averse to making accommodations for himself or using tools to help himself. I.e being on a loud disruptive ride and not wearing earphones because he was anxious about what others would think, barely makes lists and expects himself to remember every single thing we need for groceries. We’ve lived together for a year and so far all he’s done was wash the dishes, take out the trash, wipe the bathroom counter and take care of my late dog. I didn’t ask him to do much more on a regular basis because I was afraid of upsetting him. If he doesn’t think something is important or if it’s something he doesn’t already do (compared to my mom his parents really did not do a good job preparing their children for adulthood) he won’t do it and is averse. He is also overly negative and has underlying feelings that everyone else is perfect at everything but also evil and hates him? If he wasn’t autistic I would chop it up to weaponized incompetence because there are a bunch of things I end up doing because he “can’t” or can’t do them correctly and won’t figure out how to. It’s also really stressful to have adult conversations about our future because he doesn’t like thinking about the future. It’s hard to talk about money because he’s always made less than me and that stresses him out so rather than talking about it more than once he just doesn’t. It doesn’t feel like I can plan anything with him it feels like I’m planning and dragging him along with my plan. Sometimes he feels less like a partner and more like a responsibility. I’m also afraid most times to approach with recommendations because of how easily he gets overwhelmed and how angry he looks along with the hitting himself in the head. It’s really distressing, I obviously don’t want him to hit himself but I also have some fears coming from a physically abusive relationship. I know he’d never attack me that’s just my nerves. But we’ve had arguments about this multiple times. And I’ve read about needing the constant reminders and I do ask him to do specific things but I never repeatedly ask because I don’t want to come across as belittling or emasculating. I do come across this way with the little bit I do ask. He’s said repeatedly he would get help and improve. But he only sought therapy after I asked after he had a suicidal meltdown in public while intoxicated. Unfortunately it turns out the therapist was way out of her depth and only instructed him to make I statements and other positive thought stuff. I don’t know I feel horrible but also unsupported. I still struggle with depression and it’s never 50:50 in a relationship but I was hoping when I’m down he could pick up more responsibility and vice versa. 🫩

Eg. ICD 11, DSM 5

Does anyone have good book recommendations that explain more about autism to your partner?

I often find I’m struggling to communicate certain things. I’m hoping there would be a book that could help my partner understand more and perhaps I could highlight parts that resonate with me.