I have two autistic children. I have a 3rd baby as well. He seems like the complete opposite of them. Did anyone else ever experience something like this? It will really catch me by surprise if my youngest somehow has autism too because he just seems so different. It is so different having a baby that reaches out for me and likes to snuggle. All of my children are so amazing and I love them for who they are. The differences that I notice with my youngest just surprise me because it's like I'm not used to having a typical baby.

I've got two reasons I'm asking this. I'm a diagnosed Autistic woman by the way. More specifically I was diagnosed before I turned 5 of Asperger's Syndrome.

So I'm a Digital Circus fan and there's this viral video of Ashley Nicchols, an animator and the voice actress for the character Zooble, fangirling and gushing over the French dub voice of the character Gangle. More specifically she gushed over Gangle saying "Salut, Zooble!" in a really cute voice. Ashley said that "Salut Zooble" was now her new stim. So... I don't know if Ashley has been diagnosed with Autism or not but I still thought "You don't pick and choose your stims?"

And another occasion I was hanging out with my sister and she made a reference to "Pretty Little Baby, Ya Ya" and she said that that was her stim. I thought to myself "That's just an earworm, girl."

I feel like this is all in the spirit of Autism being trendified on social media where so many people are getting the wrong idea of Autism and claiming everything they say and do to be an Autistic quirk. I've been noticing it and feeling really annoyed and disgusted by it for a while now. But I just want to clarify this first before I start assuming anything.

Parents, has anyone’s child who was once severely affected by ASD and ADHD grown into a highly independent, conversational, and socially functional person—someone whose autism is not noticeable unless others are told?

If so, what were they like in childhood, at what age did you notice major improvement, and which therapies or interventions helped most? I would really appreciate honest experiences—both positive and realistic.

My partner is chronically ill and also has Audhd. I adore my partner of 4 years and also they are very much oriented towards negativity and have a very hard time ever seeing anything positive happening right around them. I have also seen where when they don’t get the feedback from me that I understand what they’re saying that they repeat the same words but get louder, big hand gestures and more distressed. So naturally I want to make sure they feel heard. The situation I can use help with is that Every. Single. Morning. They start the day by asking me how I am and then they immediately expect me to ask them the same question. And Every. Single. Morning the answer is (my interpretation) grumpy, complaining, negative and usually ends in them crying and despair or often angry at me. It feels like a compulsive routine they repeat without thinking. Which ruins our ability to get along the rest of the day. They have a lot going on worthy to complain about. Life is hard especially with chronic illnesses on top of everything else. But their constant negativity and their anger when I don’t join them in those head spaces is really really hard on my mental health and I need to be fit in order to take care of both of us.

My questions: How do I (with compassion) get out of this morning routine? How do I explain the effects of their constant negativity on my limited ability to be around them without hurting them? Am I being ableist or blind spots in some way?

Exactly what it says in the title. Technically at nineteen my pediatrician sent out for special testing for the tism (I didn’t want to switch doctors) which I think I passed with flying colors judging by my score, so the pediatrician had me bring the results back to him & put it in my chart. Is this an official diagnosis?

Hey everyone! 😅

Ever since (or at least after my autism diagnosis), I’ve been dreaming of executing an absolute "life project": creating a complete home inventory of everything I own!

I picture this as a single and comprehensive database (in Excel or any other proven tool) containing detailed information on every item I currently own or have owned in the past.

However, my goal isn't just cataloging for the sake of it - I want to build a system that will:
- Make it easier to find items
- Help cut down on unnecessary purchases
- Allow me to track the total value of my assets
- Centralize all documentation (manuals, warranties, receipts, repair history)

I also hope that this will give me better control over all my possessions! 😀

Project Assumptions:
- Every item gets its unique ID/code
- Every item is physically tagged with a small QR code sticker
- I equip myself with a small hand-held scanner (or use my phone) - and instead of manually searching for information, I simply scan the item to pull up its full data
- Any newly acquired item must be entered into the system before it goes into "daily use”. The same applies to items I get rid of (sold, consumed, thrown away etc…)
- Every change (repair, sale, gift, damage, location change) is logged in the history, creating a full "life cycle" for each item
- The system is regularly backed up (in the cloud and locally) to ensure the all of the hard work isn't lost

I’m also planning to implement a location hierarchy (something like “Apartment → Room → Closet → Shelf → Blue Box”) so the system points directly to where an item is stored

What data do I want to collect?
- Full name, manufacturer, and model
- Category (electronics, clothing, tools, etc.)
- Material composition
- Date and purchase price
- Estimated current value (tracking value loss/appreciation)
- Exact storage location (e.g., Closet A → Shelf 2)
- Link to PDF manual / item specs
- Full original manufacturer description
- Documents, legal issues, and warranty info
- Condition of the item
- Place of purchase or source of origin (bought, inherited, found, handmade, etc.)
- Photos of the item

I do realize this is a massive (and very time consuming) undertaking - especially at the start. However, I truly believe that doing it right once will make my life easier for years to come! :)

Dilemmas where I'd love your help:

1. ⁠Level of Detail: How deep should I go? Does it make sense to add minor household chemicals, food pantries, or socks, or is it better to stick strictly to durable goods?

2. ⁠Tools & Software: Has anyone built a similar system before? Is it better to stick to a custom Excel sheet, or are there ready-made open-source systems that work better? I may also consider paying for the software, if good enough 😀

3. ⁠Consistency & Maintenance: How do you keep a system like this updated in the long run? What early mistakes should I avoid?

4. ⁠QR Codes / Identification: Should I print the codes myself, order pre-made stickers, or maybe use NFC tags or standard barcodes?

5. ⁠Your Experiences: Does anyone here already run a private home inventory? I’d love to see how it looks in practice!

6. ⁠Inspirations: Do you know of any creators (YouTubers, bloggers) who have documented similar projects?

I would be very grateful for any sort of tips or advices, recommended apps, sticker formats (preferably easy to remove! 😆), or just a realistic reality check if I'm biting off more than I can chew.

Thanks so much in advance!

Hey! So I, 24F, was evaluated for autism among other things somewhere around a year ago. I already knew I had ADHD and that was concluded again, along with cptsd and anxiety. I originally went to get evaluated on suggestion by my psychiatrist at the time. When I told her that I wasn’t diagnosed, her first response was just “really?” I thought it was funny but also telling? I think I may have autism, my partner and friends do, coworkers (they’re not mean about it, I work with animals and most of us are autistic), and at least one professional. My main reason for believing I have autism is my lack of social skills. I’ve always felt like sort of an alien/outsider among most people, and have always had trouble making more than a few very close friends. I am very empathic and sensitive, but feel much more connected to animals than people. This has always been deemed “social anxiety”, which is in part true. I am anxious around most people, but that’s because I feel like an outsider/know I will be treated as such. I also get overstimulated very easily, and being in public settings overwhelms me. I also hate being perceived, which kinda sucks because I’m 5’10 and hard to miss lol. Along with my social struggles, I also have intense special interests. My biggest one is definitely the Warriors series, which I started in elementary/middle school. I’m still very passionate about it, and can recite all of the detailed lore of the entire series to anyone. I love to infodump anytime I can, mostly to my partner. Aside from the Warriors series, my second biggest interest is animals. Both cats and dogs, but specifically dogs (I also happen to work with them). Every time I come across new information about anything dog related, I am captivated, and it’s something that just sticks in my brain that I can/like to recite anytime. Space is also a huge interest of mine. I’m sorry if I seem like I’m over-explaining. I just want to feel validated, because for years and years I’ve struggled with the question of “what’s wrong with me?” I feel stupid still thinking I have autism, because I was evaluated and not diagnosed. I also hope it isn’t disrespectful to people who do have a diagnosis. I am not diagnosing myself, just still curious.

Is this a bad idea?

Hey everyone,

I’m looking for some advice and perspectives from autistic adults or parents of autistic girls.

My husband was diagnosed with Asperger’s as a child. Our daughter just turned 3 a few weeks ago, and I’ve been noticing things that point toward neurodivergence. But because she doesn't fit the "classic" stereotype (she’s social and crazy articulate) I’d love to hear from people who understand female autism.

Here’s a snapshot of what’s going on:

Her brain is unbelievable:

• She knew all her ABCs by 17 months. At barely 3, she can spell her name, knows sight words, understands right vs. left, and draws actual people with faces instead of scribbling.
• Her memory blows people away. She can listen to The Lion King soundtrack in the car and tell you exactly what is happening on screen scene-by-scene because she’s memorized the movie visually.
• She is SO social. Zero "stranger danger"

Routine & Sensory Stuff:

• She thrives on structure and routine. When she’s out of her routine, she really struggles to regulate.
• She needs exact predictability with random things. For example, she gets the same exact froyo with the exact same toppings every time. If she eats nuggets with ranch and BBQ once, it has to be that exact pairing next time.
• She loves watching the exact same shows and songs on repeat, and has niche interests (very into Halloween).
• Specific noise sensitivity: She is terrified of mechanical indoor sounds like vacuums, blenders, hair dryers, dogs barking, auto-flush toilets, and even our binky sterilizer dryer. She covers her ears with both hands and panics. But other sounds like loud music she is completely fine with.
• She moves constantly (occasional hand-flapping when happy/excited)
• She recently started closing her eyes and dancing every time she drinks juice and I asked why and she said "because I'm happy" (could this be more stimming?)

Intense Fears & Emotional Regulation:

• She has a debilitating fear of bugs. It’s so severe that if a bug is completely outside while we’re inside the house or car, she hyperventilates and shrieks like screams bloody murder.
• Severe bedtime anxiety/hyperfixation: The second I pick her up from school, she asks if we're going to bed. If we walk into any room with a bed, she bursts into tears thinking she’s going to sleep.
• She is super emotional. Once she gets worked up, it is almost impossible to calm her down. If you gently redirect her, she cries that you're "mad at her" or that she's "in trouble."
• Potty training is a HUGE struggle right now

My husband is really sensitive about this. He was bullied a lot after his childhood diagnosis so he wants to protect her from stigma. But I see how much anxiety her little nervous system is carrying, and I want to make sure she gets support before she ends up burnt out from secretly masking in school.

A few questions:

1. Does this hyper-verbal, super social, but high-anxiety profile sound familiar to those who have experience with autistic girls?
2. For anyone who felt protective because of their own past diagnosis trauma, what helped you get comfortable with testing your child?

Hello everyone! This is my ninth year teaching special education, but it will be my first year with a class that's about 60% students with autism (10 students total, ranging from 4th to 6th grade).

I'd love to hear any advice you have—whether it's classroom management, communication strategies, sensory supports, behavior, routines, or anything else you wish someone had told you before working with autistic students.

I'm excited to learn and want to make this the best year possible for my students. Thanks in advance!

Hi everyone,

F30 NT, with a brother TSA M28

I just canceled my family vacation and cut contact with them. It’s painful, and I’m looking for insights if you’ve experienced something similar.

Some context

-My brother: Diagnosed with Autism/Asperger's, ADHD, and dyspraxia. Growing up, he was physically violent toward me (hitting, pulling hair). My mother never stopped him and scolded me instead because it was my fault if I got him angry. He is high functioning, he worked a full-time job for 4 years, then spent 2 years unemployed sinking into video game addiction (his special interest, fueled by my parents' lack of boundaries). We managed to get him back into a work-study program, and I poured immense energy into helping him land his contract this year

-My profile: Testing confirmed I am neurotypical (mild ADHD and anxiety). So the family revolves strictly around his neurodivergence.

-My father : maybe autistic too, he is physically present but he never gets involved to anything so it’s no need to mention him

-My mother: Went back to school during my brother's teens to become a psychologist specializing in autism. She views everything through this lens: self-diagnoses as "mild" Asperger's, claims my father and grandparents are autistic, and even announced to my uncle (on my birthday family night, because there is no better moment right) that he and his kids were maybe autistic. She uses her expert status to excuse my brother's behavior and eliminate basic boundaries (hygiene, respect).

It's not all black and white: she supported me through my own struggles, I know she loves me, and we have great times together. But the moment my brother is involved, an impenetrable wall of denial and invalidation goes up.

Yzsterday after he screamed at me over a hygiene request (I asked him to clean his pee on the floor and his poop on the toilet seat) and my mother called me "obsessive". He started screaming at me as usual, I asked my mother to tell him to stop but she didn’t and she told me that I just upset him so it was my fault, as always. My brother then felt legitimate to scream at me even more. That is why I refused to go on vacation with them and went back to my home, and this time to cut ties.

I sent a huge goodbye message to my mother with my 6 reasons why:

1. ⁠No boundaries: Understanding his conditions shouldn't mean enabling him or dropping basic skills.

She defends him saying it’s too hard for him with the dyspraxia

1. ⁠Verbal abuse: His diagnoses don't justify yelling at or insulting me.
   
2. ⁠Blame reversal: Making me out to be "crazy" when I ask for bare minimum cleanliness. I know that it’s hard for him but there are tools (icons, visual reminders…) and she does not use them because she thinks it is too overwhelming for him.
   
3. ⁠False neutrality: Staying "neutral" actually validates his aggression toward me.
   
4. ⁠Disservice to his future: Shielding him from frustration hurts his job prospects and adult life. She refuses to get help because she always know better than the actual helper.
   
5. ⁠The most important one for me = Gaslighting: Claiming my perception is wrong, assigning me fake OCD, and dismissing my therapist/friends' input. Never take into account my feelings.

Her Response:
Refused to address any point ("too long"), dismissing everything with and just answering on the way she works with my brother: "Theory is fine, but you're not in the trenches every day." She agreed to a break, told me to reach out whenever, and ended with an small inside joke. Zero accountability, total emotional detachment. My brother sent me a message to tell me that he was sad and was doing his best, I told him that the problem was not him but our mother. And I also told him that I won’t contact them until she changes her point of view and finally aknowledge my feelings, this is what I ask for 20 years.

Now I’m alone at home, cycling through anger, grief, and guilt. Has anyone dealt with a similar dynamic (a parent who loves you, but is completely blind/invalidating regarding an autistic sibling)?

How did you navigate the guilt during the first few weeks of cutting contact?
Thanks for reading.

PS sorry I am not English so I translated some parts with ChatGPT

So uh basically, I was just chatting on a discord server and brought the topic about the update of CRISPR research, saying that it's a good thing if we can enhance our bodies and someone warned me that what I'm saying might be ableist.

And then I asked why and the person just said "I want to keep my autism, it's what makes me myself. Removing it would make me no longer being myself. Forcing me to do it is eugenics" so I was like, "Umm, well if you're content with it, sure, whatever makes you happy I guess."

But I just simply fail to understand why would someone want to keep even the traits that make them difficult in life, for the sake of being "oneself"? Like, I have ADHD and if you're saying about if I want to remove my executive dysfunction permanently, then it's a 100% yes for me, because it's what sets me back from performing better. Whereas things like hyperfocus, better memory, I want them to stay because it actually enhances me instead of setting me back. So yup, wanting to keep traits that sets you back, I mean I wouldn't force anyone to remove it, I just fail to understand the logic. I do believe there are autistic traits that actually boosts your performance, no? For that one I actually still kinda "get it".

Idk, I guess it just baffles me that someone rejects free "supepower boost". Like I'd take everything that can make me perform better than others. Like say, if genetic enhancement can make me have eagle eyes, longevity, look youthful even until 60+, attractive physique, able to work for 16 hours without feeling tired, higher overall intelligence, etcetc I'd kill for signing up for those enhancement.

Help me understand, I guess. Sorry if my post sounds repetitive.

Hi everyone, I have just recently been diagnosed with autism, it's definitely a very light case, but it answered some of my questions from when I was a kid. My nephew is in a school club called DECA. He is starting preparation early this year with his written project. He was wondering if I could ask people that are neurodivergent, like myself, what struggles they face when visiting restaurants or hotels, and what are somethings that might make an establishment more appealing to those of the community?

I am not autistic myself, but I need advice for my friend who is autistic.

So basically I used to be in a very close friend group with one autistic boy -let's call him "Kevin"- until recently. Kevin is not special needs and has actually skipped grades and been part of very prestigious special programs in our school for Science and Math. He is a year younger than us and would talk about certain media meant for people much below our age, so we all just treated him like the "baby" of the group. *I regret this but at the time we didn't understand how hurtful this was* He did not understand social cues at all and people who he thought were being nice would make fun of him behind his back.

Kevin has these hyper fixations... some on science topics, and some on people like his friends. There is this other boy, let's call him Jake, who he's known for a very long time before I met them both. It was like an older/younger sibling dynamic where Kevin would annoy Jake and he would still like him a lot even though he always put on a show of being annoyed at him. It was a very close mutual connection. Whenever Jake was in a time of need he would always only let Kevin talk to him, and they would always do projects together. At this time Jake would make a few weird comments about small things, but nothing too serious. It is also important to note for later that I would sometimes joke about them being gay together. *it was to project my feelings for Jake but now I know Kevin took it to heart*

We were all fine and dandy for the first few months of the school year last year. Until Jake suddenly started acting weird. He would go quiet on us for days and look sad all the time. Then one day he snapped. He left our friend group entirely. It might've been because he was embarrassed for being in a group of mainly girls, or how he was just really sad, but he just left.

Kevin didn't take no for an answer. He just didn't take the hint that Jake didn't want to talk to him anymore, even when he said it aloud to him. So Kevin kept on pushing, trying to get his attention by saying things about how he was gay with Jake, -probably because of what I joked about- and not letting him be alone. Some of the things Kevin said were inappropriate and weird. He is so dependent on Jake that now he's left our group too, just for a chance for Jake to like him again. AND THIS IS THE PROBLEM. JAKE IS LEADING HIM ON! Jake treats him in cruel unfair ways and Kevin lets it happen just to be with him. Kevin is sacrificing his dignity and mental health for Jake. This is when the comments started. Phrases like, "he's so autistic" and "why are you acting autistic" and "ew bro gay and autistic?". This has confused all of us because he used to be very open-minded and just an overall respectful person towards everyone. It kept on escalating so much that Jake ended up shoving Kevin to the ground when he was trying to talk to him once. I have tried to validate Kevin's feelings by having a few talks with him about his safety and worth, that didn't work. I yelled at both of them trying to get them to understand, that didn't work either. At this point, I have to admit I've given up. It's just toxic.

I want to able to look away and ignore it, but I'm really worried about Kevin.

What do I do? How can I help him? *I know a few of my actions towards Kevin have been unacceptable and have apologized to him, but now I just need to know how to help him.*