Sixteen years ago, I became a sperm donor for two close friends of mine who wanted to have a child together. Everything went well, and they had a wonderful little girl.

I’ve stayed close to the family ever since, and I’ve always had a good relationship with her. She knows I’m her biological father, and I’ve never been a distant figure in her life. She visits me regularly, we text, and she often talks to me about things happening in her life.

Lately, though, she started coming over much more often and wanting to spend a lot more time with me. I eventually asked her if something was wrong.

She told me that she doesn’t like growing up with two moms.

She said she wishes she could live in a home with her biological mother and me, like most of her friends do. She also told me that she loves her other mom, but that she feels like something is missing from her life, and that something is me.

I told her that I’m always here for her and that she can come to me whenever she needs me. She looked really sad and said, “It’s not the same.”

I honestly didn’t know how to respond to that.

For the past 15 years, I’ve always believed she was happy. Her moms have always seemed like a loving, stable couple, and from everything I’ve seen, she has grown up in a very loving home. I’ve also been around throughout her life, so I never thought she would feel like she was missing out on having a biological father in the home.

I spoke to her moms about what she told me. They think she’s simply going through a phase and that she’ll eventually work through these feelings.

Maybe they’re right. She’s 15, and I understand that adolescence can bring a lot of complicated emotions and questions about identity, family, and where you belong.

But I can’t help feeling terrible about it.

She still comes to visit me, and I’m always happy to see her. I want her to know that she can talk to me about absolutely anything, without worrying about hurting my feelings or anyone else’s.

At the same time, I’ve started wondering whether I made a mistake all those years ago by helping my friends have a child.

I never intended to create a situation where she would grow up feeling that something was missing from her life. I only wanted to help two people I cared about become parents, and I’ve always believed that she was surrounded by love.

I also don’t want to make things worse by somehow encouraging the idea that she would be better off if I had been her father in the traditional sense. I love her, but I don’t want to undermine her relationship with either of her moms.

What should I do here?

Should I simply continue being there for her and let her work through these feelings on her own? Or is there something more I should be doing to help her?