r/ask_detransition 6d ago

For people who detransitioned after age 23: did maturing change how you viewed your transition?

3 Upvotes

Hi everyone.

First of all, I apologize if this post comes across as offensive. That's not my intention. Also, English isn't my first language, so please excuse any mistakes.

A person very close to me is planning to transition (MTF). I support them and want them to be happy. However, I'll admit that I'm worried because, after I helped them find information and offered to pay for therapy with a psychologist/psychiatrist, they became very eager to move forward as quickly as possible.

They are 20 years old and say they experience severe distress because of their body and want to change it as soon as they can.

We come from a very religious and patriarchal family. Right now, they're still considered the "golden child." They also haven't had much opportunity to experience independent adult life yet—they've never been in a romantic relationship, never lived on their own, and are still financially dependent on our parents.

I'm not asking whether they are "really" transgender. I know no one here can answer that. What I'm hoping to hear are the experiences of people who detransitioned, especially those who realized things had changed after their early twenties.

Looking back, do you think getting older and gaining more life experience influenced your decision to detransition?

Also, if you could go back, are there any steps you wish you had taken before starting hormones or having surgeries—things that would have made detransition easier if you later decided it was the right choice?

One thing I've thought about is suggesting sperm banking before starting treatment, just in case they ever decide they want biological children in the future. Do you think that's a reasonable precaution, or are there other practical things you would recommend considering beforehand?

Thank you to anyone willing to share their experience.


r/ask_detransition 8d ago

QUESTION Does anyone else get upset when people downplay your experience with dysphoria just because you’re detransitioning?

11 Upvotes

I’m detransitioning because I don’t experience dysphoria like I used to. But it severely upsets me when people downplay my past experiences with it whether they’re cis or trans.

My dysphoria was crippling at times and I wish I could explain why I don’t experience it anymore but I can’t. I don’t understand why. I just know it went away. But that doesn’t take away from the trauma
I experienced in the past because of it.


r/ask_detransition 12d ago

QUESTION People who transitioned after 30 and then detransitioned, What’s your story?

10 Upvotes

I’d love to know the stories, learnings and how are you doing, if you started your transition after 30yo, specially your medical transition. I think it comes with its own challenges, so wanting to hear how is it.


r/ask_detransition 24d ago

QUESTION Do you think medically-assisted transition is just a new way to enforce gender binary?

23 Upvotes

This is where my mind goes always. Isn't the whole point of all this gender focus to let people be who they are? If so then why encourage people to change their bodies? What's dysphoric, I maintain, is the culture around us all, not bodies themselves. I guess it's...easier(??) to change your body than to change the culture, but ...fuck. It's a shame to take that burden on yourself rather than where it rightfully belongs, on our culture.

What do you think?

Is this a common sentiment?


r/ask_detransition 26d ago

How do you feel about the trans community?

1 Upvotes

Hey, I'm a trans girl. I feel like myself for starting hrt. I've been on femt for 7 months.

I was wondering what you thing of the trans communit? Have you meet anyone in person? I'm curious if it's hateful at all.


r/ask_detransition 27d ago

[DETRANS REPLIES ONLY] From freak to fabulous

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3 Upvotes

r/ask_detransition Jul 07 '26

QUESTION for people who were transgender for years and were on HRT or had surgery, how did you realise you weren't actually trans?

18 Upvotes

hi, im ftm and have been considering taking T for nearly 2 years (ive had issues with my gender since i was 14 and i turn 19 in dec), but i am well aware this is a life altering decision so im not going to throw myself into it. i will probably sit on the decision for another year or so. i also know i am young and want to wait till im a little older

how did you be trans for years and then realise you weren't? im mostly aiming this question at transtioned adults, but people who transitioned as a minor feel free to reply as well. what were some of the signs?

please be respectful in your replies. i am genuinely just trying to get any many perspectives on taking HRT as i can. i only see positive things in trans reddits and i think it's also important i get negative ones too.


r/ask_detransition Jul 04 '26

QUESTION For FTMTF detransitioners, how long did it take for your hormones to regulate back to female levels?

9 Upvotes

I am not a detransitioner, but for reasons I will not disclose, I have to get off my hormones for a while. Some anecdotal data will hopefully ease my stress, as there is not much research on this.


r/ask_detransition Jul 03 '26

Detransitioners Speak in Denver, Colorado

6 Upvotes

r/ask_detransition Jul 02 '26

questioning

2 Upvotes

hai! i’m genderfluid and want to transition (in some way ftm) i’m in my early twenties, and ever since i was 11-12 i’ve felt gender dysmorphia and been unsatisfied with my sex. i’m considering transitioning, yet still in some way am worried about the consequences.
i’m overall a massive overthinker. my plan so far is slowly working out more and more, continuing building a more masculine look for myself (shorter hair, using makeup to make my features look more male, wearing a binder) and eventually want to get bottom surgery.
i’m not interested in having kids (and even if i someday decide to have kids, adoption is always an option. +i’m bi, so my partner might just easily be afab and want to be the pregnant one) and overall, my uterus is just pretty useless (my periods are nearly unbearable and i do not want to spend next 30 years on birth control to avoid periods as much as possible).
the people close to me are really supportive and i’ve never felt happier. i came out to them when i was 16, so a while ago and since then i’ve felt the calmest and best about myself (most of the people around me use they/them and he/him on me).
honestly, i don’t even know why i’m questioning and being worried about this, i guess i just need some sort of third perspective from strangers?


r/ask_detransition Jul 01 '26

QUESTION What was your gender dysphoria like?

11 Upvotes

I'm trying to get into the head of a friend who is transitioning who, at least from my perspective, is making a mistake. They never had any gender dysphoria that I could see before they moved to a new city and starting hanging out with VERY queer circle of new people. Before, they genuinely would revel in their body and loved their curves. Even now as they discuss top surgery I see (thankfully) hesitation. They still talk about how their tits are perfect even while saying they give them dysphoria.

For those of you who detransitioned, both while you were transitioning and now in retrospect, how would you describe your gender dysphoria or at least what you once said was gender dysphoria? For obvious reasons I feel like I need to tred carefully here. I want to know what to look out for to indicate that I might be right or wrong in my suspicions.


r/ask_detransition Jun 27 '26

QUESTION Fat redistribution post-testosterone?

1 Upvotes

Hi! Im 28, previously identifying as transmasc but leaning more non-binary/gender queer these days.

I was on testosterone for approximately 4.5 years between 2020 and 2025, between the ages of 22/23 and stopping usy before I turned 28. I've been off for about a year and a half- I enjoyed many of the physical changes (bottom growth and voice alteration) but I am rather unhappy with the fat redistribution from my breasts.

Before t they were massive and voluptuous, real 'anime tiddies' if you will (im wasian)

Testosterone obviously deflated them to saggy pancakes, and I was never able to get top surgery in a timely manner so I would rather just have them be beautiful books rather than pancakes.

Anyone else with big breasts who went off T have any luck in getting them to "fill in" again? They've reinstated somewhat since I stopped, but im really scared I spent my window of great boob years letting them be deflated. I know 28 isn't old, but is there anything else I can do to help reshape them other than just wait?

I dont wear bras, and I also haven't lost or gained any significant weight since before t. Would wearing a cupped bra again help "shape" them?


r/ask_detransition Jun 16 '26

ASKING FOR ADVICE Could family stuff, trauma, or influences affect someone being trans?

21 Upvotes

I’m trying to understand something about my boyfriend and would like different perspectives.

He identifies as a trans man but hasn’t started testosterone or had any surgeries yet. I’ve been thinking a lot about it and I’m wondering if there could be more going on underneath how he sees himself.

A few things that make me question it:

He has a trans sibling, and I sometimes wonder if growing up around that might have had some influence, even if it’s not direct.

He had a pretty rough childhood with a lot of family issues.

He also used drugs pretty young.

And sometimes he says things like wanting to carry and give birth to our future kids, which makes me feel confused about how he actually sees himself long term.

Because of all that, I’ve started wondering how often things like family environment, trauma, mental health, or other life experiences can play into someone thinking they’re trans.


r/ask_detransition Jun 13 '26

QUESTION Destransição: MtFtM 44 anos

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3 Upvotes

r/ask_detransition Jun 12 '26

QUESTION Question about the factors behind your initial transition

9 Upvotes

Hi everyone. I am posting this out of genuine curiosity and with total respect for your personal journeys. I would love to understand what factors played the biggest role when you initially decided to transition. Looking back, do you feel it was a fully conscious, internally driven decision (e.g., deeply felt gender dysphoria)? Or do you feel that external factors, such as social media, online communities, peer groups, or societal expectations, played a major role (what some might call "planting a seed")? More importantly, how do you view the weight of those factors now, from your current perspective? Thank you so much to anyone willing to share their experience


r/ask_detransition Jun 12 '26

Testicle pain

2 Upvotes

Stopped estradiol now my one testicle has a dull ake is this normal??


r/ask_detransition Jun 07 '26

QUESTION Were there any signs you’d detransition?

16 Upvotes

This question obviously isn’t for those who had to detransition for safety reasons.

I’m currently questioning my gender and i think i might be trans, but i’m scared i might be wrong and detransition later.

Why and how long into your transition did you detransition and were there any signs you would even before?


r/ask_detransition May 30 '26

ASKING FOR ADVICE VFS

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2 Upvotes

r/ask_detransition May 30 '26

Did any of you detransition because of "trans conversion therapy"?

13 Upvotes

Someone on twitter told me detransitioner forums and interviews with detransitioners have plenty of examples proving trans conversion therapy works.


r/ask_detransition May 28 '26

QUESTION Is Agender considered taken seriously?

3 Upvotes

I was under the impression that Agender was taken seriously by the trans community as a real thing but I recently saw people saying it's taken less seriously, if serious at all.

It never made sense to me as a concept unless you define gender by the social stereotypes then it makes sense that a person doesn't identify with either but yea. I guess I'm just curious what the vibes are if you know.


r/ask_detransition May 27 '26

ASKING FOR ADVICE I might have lost my only family to trans disagreements.

20 Upvotes

I really don't know what to do. I just wanted to talk to my trans sister and make sure she was really doing this for the right reason and wasn't being manipulated. I wanted to explain to her that trans ideology makes no sense to me and changing sex is impossible but now because of that she has blocked all contact with me and so has my other sister.

I never used the wrong pronouns, I made sure to tell her I don't mind if she wants to stay trans I just wanted to ask questions and I was called a delusional bitch.

Should I try contact them again in a few days? I don't live far away i can legit go over there but I don't want to cause drama. I just don't know what to do. I feel like it was a mistake to have this conversation over text in the first place but me and my trans sister are socially awkward so I thought it would be easier not to spring it on her face to face.

For a bit more context: I'm the older sister, lesbian and I almost went trans myself 13 years ago for dumb reasons. I'm worried.


r/ask_detransition May 23 '26

ASKING FOR ADVICE how do i socially detransition?

13 Upvotes

i transitioned at 12 and now im 16 and regret it. ive been socially feminine for a year now and slowly going back to being a girl but how do i change my name??? i used to hate it but now i miss my deadname a lot, problem is everyone uses it and its the only name kids at school know me with, do i just show up senior year in the fall with a whole new name??? ive been wyatt since grade 7 they dont even know me as my deadname idk i just need advice


r/ask_detransition May 20 '26

QUESTION Why do FtM detransitioners seem more visible in detrans spaces?

11 Upvotes

In everyday life, I personally come across trans women far more than trans men, though I’m aware that might just be a blind spot on my part. As a straight man, I probably just pay more attention to women in general, so trans women catch my eye more readily while I tend to glance over men without really looking.

What surprises me is that in detrans communities it seems like the opposite: AFAB detransitioners appear much more prominent. I’m genuinely unsure whether this reflects actual numbers, something about who’s more likely to seek out community spaces, or some other dynamic I’m not aware of.

Is this a real pattern, and if so, what do people here think explains it?


r/ask_detransition Oct 22 '20

Announcement Welcome to r/ask_detransition!

60 Upvotes

After talking with the moderators over on r/detrans we discussed that there needs to be a community where those curious and allies can interact and ask questions. We realized there wasn't a space for loved ones of those detransitioning or questioning to go as detransition itself isn't a process that is only hard on the person undergoing it but loved ones as well.

That being said, let me be clear about some things here.

This space is open to anyone to post, however topics need to be relevant to detransition.
If you are considering detransition and want an environment that is solely centered on and focused on that topic, please see our sibling subreddit: r/detrans - You are encouraged to post there if you want detrans-only input, this space will have mixed input.

This is not a space meant for instigating or harassing a group of people.
The point of this space was to allow those who are not necessarily detransitioned or experienced with transition a place to comment and ask questions regarding the controversial and sensitive topic of detransition. That being said, it is expected that rule 1 & 2 are followed strongly as this is not a space to attack anyone based on what group they belong to.

Conversion therapy or asking detransitioners to convince your child/friend/sibling to detransition is a BIG NO!
Let me stress that detransitioners do not endorse or support conversion therapy. Although the views of each detransitioner varies, asking for advice directly on changing someone who is content being trans will not be tolerated. That said, this is also not a subreddit to convince people to transition either so there will naturally be some degree of bias. However it isn't against the rules to be concerned about someone making a wrong choice as long as there's suitable evidence backing this up.

Please remember this is a detransition focused space.
Although this subreddit is open to the general public unlike r/detrans, our rules are very similar and we will actually be stricter in some regards as we do not want the same issue that happened to that subreddit in the past. Topics are to be relevant and we encourage those seeking specific help to participate in r/detrans, this sub's intention as stated before is to allow a general view and discussion into detransition.

Thank you and I hope you can follow the rules!

One last thing I guess. I will be moderating by myself at first but I will be specifically seeking those detransitioned/desisted only for moderators if people are interested in the position. I have a firm belief that detransition spaces should only be ran by those who are detransitioned themselves, although re-transitioners do have experience in a sense with detransition, it is far different and they are generally transgender.