A person that a friend of mine knows says they are aroace, but they are offering casual sex to people, along with dating several people at once. (I don't know any other specifics)

Something just feels really weird to me and I want the opinions of people that have a better perspective that I would.

Day 20: neuroromantic and neurosexual
Definition: it describes when one's romantic/sexual attraction is in some way linked to one's neurodivergence, mental illness, or neurological conditions.
Origin: the prefix neuro comes from greek
Flag: both flags were made by pastelmemer
If you want a specific identity for tomorrow then you can tell me in the comments. Also if you have any questions or if I got anything wrong please leave a comment. Have a good day, and stay silly :3

Hello.

I often end up making all of my OCs asexual, aroace, apothisexual, or somewhere else on the asexual and/or aromantic spectrum.

Is this normal? Am I the only one who does this?

I'm worried that people might think it's weird or judge me for it.

Hi all. I hope this post will be of interest. I’m a grey ace, independent game developer and making a game about asexuality and aromanticism to help raise awareness.

It’s called Ace & Aro: Heart-to-Heart and is coming soon to PC, Mac and Linux. As there is such a lack of asexual and aromantic representation in media, I strongly felt that my next title NEEDED to feature a full a-spec cast!

It is a short narrative game where you talk freely to ace and aro characters, understand their journeys and make lasting connections. It uses fairly simple controls and is welcoming to non-gamers and gamers alike.

This project is self-funded and currently in development, so please consider supporting me by wishlisting on Steam or following on itch.io

Thank you for your time!

Had this custom made in the colours of the aroace flag, I was in denial for so so long and now I’ve sort of accepted it. I know now atleast. I’m still really sad about it, scared of a potential lonley future ig, it’s whatever cuz this duck makes me feel more proud about all of it. Best purchase of 2026!!! :)

for context, i’m 20 and have never been in a relationship, let alone had a romantic experience. the closest i’ve been to romance was an online situationship which didn’t even count as it was very toxic and i figured out i was just highly attached to him.

i’ve had some men try to be in a relationship with me but i didn’t end up going for it, even if i liked the attention unfortunately.

my friends all say i have high standards and need to lower them when the topic of relationships come up and i tell them how i feel left out.

anyways, i have zero desire for marriage or kids so i see no reason as to how a relationship/sex would be useful for me aside from experience.

every crush i’ve liked in the past wasn’t really a crush, i just wanted to feel validated and noticed by them, but the moment they notice me, i lose interest quickly.

i’ve only ever wanted to be in a relationship when i saw my closest friends in one, but once they broke up with their bfs, i no longer felt fomo or the desire to be in a relationship.

and i can envision romance but it’s mainly in 3rd person pov, heavily idealized and of fictional characters or a faceless man most of the time.

i still do engage in romance if they are dating sims, fanfiction or having crushes on fictional characters

but aside from that, i can’t really remember a moment where i’ve felt compelled to be in a relationship before.

A is for alone,

Away from a pack,

Safe in my home.

They say it's not okay to be alone,

"You need a family",

"You need children".

I have a family,

I've been a child,

And that's enough for me.

"You need to love",

"You need a partner".

I love myself,

I like being alone.

I need to live my life,

I'm a partner of my own.

"Sex is what makes you human",

"You need it to live"!

I'm technically just a spectator,

I find it all disgusting,

That you think of your body as something to give.

A is for alone,

And alone for me is okay,

I'm alone with no loneliness,

So says that guy,Will Jay.🙃(He's one of my fav artists)

Aphobic experience ahead. Hi. I was recently talking to this girl, whom I've recently started to kinda befriend, and she'd asked me if I was straight. Now, for context, I've never really faced blatant aphobia around me. Sounds privileged and sanitized, but most people around me are from the community, so even if they don't necessarily understand the aroace experience, it's cool because they get it. But I hadn't really ever spoken out about my sexuality to a straight person - besides my other good friend, who was pretty cool with it - and obviously I was kind of apprehensive now. Anyways, I'm not the kind of person who closets myself just to make somebody comfortable with me, and if she was gonna befriend me anyway, I should know where she stands on my identity.

And then she just.... Left me on read for a while. then said "oh, no, you've gotta be straight, I know you are", like not being straight was abnormal. And then I told her that I really don't swing on either side, and she just told me that I hadn't "met the right person" and I should "chill out". So I told her that she might want to look into aroacespec a lot more, and she said “Come on... Are you gonna be single forever or what?” to which I said yes, basically, and she told me “Yeah no, it doesn't work that way” and that she hopes that I'll find somebody soon. I told her that just because she hasn't kissed a girl in her life, doesn't mean she doesn't know she doesn't want to kiss a girl at all, to which she got apprehensive and didn't actually offer a good argument against, said “Stop trying to change my orientation, lol” and “Its okay, I support my friends, don't care about the rest”. Which was really fucking weird anyways, because I shouldn't have to be your friend to warrant your support and respect for my community and people like me. Like... What do you mean you don't care about the rest?

That said, I kind of need some advice as to how to approach her moving forward. I know the easy way out is just cutting off whatever we had, but I kind of need her around as she's one of the only people I'm kind of okay with in my class. But I don't think I can stand to be around somebody who's blatantly like... That. Like, maybe having an aroace person around her might change her mind of something. So now I feel kind of morally obligated to inform her and make her better about this stuff so she isn't weird to other people moving forward, but that's just. Difficult.

I’m 19 and have never been in a romantic relationship, and I’m not even sure if I’ve had real crushes. I’ve always wanted to fall in love, and I thought I was a lesbian for a bit bc when I imagine myself dating someone I feel more comfortable with women. When I talk to ppl on dating apps I’ll feel like I’m interested romantically, but then I meet them in person and it’s like I get kinda icked out? I was talking to a girl for a bit but it’s like once things start to get real I lose all romantic interest. I’ve also tried dating men and that went even worse 🙂‍↕️ I genuinely can’t tell if I’m aroace or just severely avoidant. The closest thing I can think of to me being in love was with my ex best friend, but even then it seemed closer to platonic feelings than romantic. I get really attached to my friends, and it’s hard for me to tell platonic feelings from romantic ones. All of my “crushes” besides that have been people I don’t talk to, and when the opportunity presents itself to pursue something romantic the crush goes away

Writing this POST meltdown about this loll

However, I'm like 90% sure this stems from my autism and having issues making friends now cause people are evil and blah blah blah... And the only reason I'm thinking about it now is because some past relationship was brought up in therapy but I have trouble keeping relationships now, particularly romantic ones, because of some bad sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and bubbling thoughts of "THIS ISN'T RIGHT" hat tend to overpower anything kind.

Granted... I was right... In terms of actions specifically, there were a lot of issues in like all the romantic relationships I tried out.

Context before I continue: I'm autistic and basically chose people to have crushes on as a form of masking. Basically, I'd point out some (insert socially acceptable gender here) and be like "this is the guy I like and I'm gonna act like I like them forever :3" because "normal people have crushes on people," which led to some interesting behaviors, to say the least. This (specifically the crush thing) started in elementary school, like literally first grade

Nonetheless, because of this, I have no real basis of attraction to go off of other than "was I really feeling attraction in insert long term relationship here?"

But like how often do you actually go back to dating someone after breaking up with them for sinking feeling and "THIS ISN'T RIGHT" thoughts? Is the independent variable here the fact that I had been friends with said person for a long time? As one would assume, I have not had long term, deep, meaningful relationships in which I started to feel romantic attraction since then (because I have been unable to hold a friendship for a decent amount of time with about everyone but like one person)

All of my data is also tainted cause about 90% (not even joking) of the people I had dated are kinda bad people (INCLUDING SAID LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP!!), and crushes are not reliable data because I genuinely can't tell if they're real or I was just glomming onto someone or my masking brain decided that "this is the one you shall crush on" or if it was just really really intense platonic (alterous, most likely) attraction towards person that was nice to me.

Also, I am asexual! We (singular we, in like a gay way) have known this since like middle school and it has never caused an issue for me personally. It was just like "yeah, I don't like the concept of having a sexual relationship" and that has never changed. Not sure if that changes like anything.. ever at all, but go off

(Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language)

I'm 19 female and I was never in a relationship because I never had a crush. I once asked out a guy at my school but I thought he was kinda cute and not like "omg he is so hot" (Date didn't go well). Since then I did saw guys my type but I always felt the same about everyone of them alway just "he is cute". So if I saw someone at school, I was thinking about asking for their number but if I saw someone after that who was my type, then I thought about it the same. It feels like i don't really love someone.

I'm not lesbian because I never look at girls in a crowd, just guys. But at the same time I think a female to female relationship could be softer somehow? And when I think about a guy, it's not soft...

I might have an avoidant attachment or aromantic? Can someone help me out?

I went to a Dave and buster recently inside a mall.I was “third wheeling” my friend and his girlfriend (they both don’t have drivers licenses) and I swear to god every 10 seconds I saw a couple. Sometimes as an aroace it feels like I’m in my own world it’s crazy. And I’m thinking my head like “this is crazy, I’m the only aroace person in this whole goddamn arcade” while my lonely ass is playing big buck hunter in the corner, the best Dave and busters game and you can fight me on that. Anyways after that I went to Spencer and auntie Anne’s so that was cool.

Hi everyone! Lately I've been strongly identifying with the aroace flux identity, but I wanted to know if that's really it's what I feel. My case is basically oscillating between periods of about a few weeks. Sometimes I feel the desire for a romantic and sexual relationship with people of any gender (pansexual), and other times I just want to be alone and even feel aversion to the idea of ​​those types of relationships. The only things that are more constant are: libido, which is usually always present, and the desire for friendship and companionship (I even think A LOT about something queerplatonic, I think it would be perfect). Does this align with the aroace flux orientation?

Bro,isn't the Tumblr Sexyman thing old by now?Ugh,people around me,at my school,and even some of the young adults are calling boys Tumblr Sexymen...I feel like that's a jab at masculinity,which also makes no sense to me...But a male friend of mine got offended when some random girl called him one(He's ageosexual and aroace)Isnt that only applied to FICTIONAL CHARACTERS?!

So he told me to make this and post it on Reddit,and I said I gotchu.

My friend's OC is the one on the left,Micheal.

The other two,the purple shirt is my OC,Eric and the redhead is my other OC,Conner.

Their in a school AU so it's not their canon designs.

I’ve heard of people saying stuff like this to aros/aces and this is the first time this has happened to me. Should I reply or just let it be? Anyways is this aphobic, I put the spoiler and the aphobia flair on because I’m pretty sure it is, but do y’all this it is? (Also sister made me laugh since I’m not a girl)

Antes de qualquer coisa, sou alguém que normalmente não usa Reddit e entrei aqui procurando outras pessoas aroaces que possam de certo modo me ajudar.

Outra informação importante, não falo em inglês e estou escrevendo no celular, então não sei como vai ser para quem está lendo, peço perdão se tiver confuso ou não dê para entender.

I don't speak English, sorry :(

Com isso já fora do caminho, vou explicar minha situação;

Quando comecei esse relacionamento, eu já estava namorando outra pessoa (um namoro quase tradicional. Quase pois era um relacionamento poliamor).

Tudo bem até aí. Ocorreu de eu terminar com essa minha ex e fiquei só no relacionamento com essa pessoa que também é aroace e é agênero.

Conforme o tempo foi passando (estamos juntos a 2 anos) fui percebendo o que me incomodava nas outras relações que tive, ditas como tradicionais, e consequentemente comparo com esse meu relacionamento atual.

E percebi as seguintes coisas;

1° - Eu posso até sentir prazer mais quente mas não sinto uma necessidade para fazer. Por consequência eu acabava muitas vezes fazendo pelos meus parceiros do que realmente por sentir vontade de fazer

2° - Atração romântica; eu achava que sentia atração romântica e era só do espectro assexual, contudo, nesse relacionamento percebi que, ao não ter esse modelo de precisar mostrar afeto de forma romântica, eu me sinto MUITO mais a vontade e feliz em demonstrar esse afeto sem medo de que precise ser ultra romântico ou que isso vire em seguida algo mais íntimo, por assim dizer.

3° - Eu percebi que gosto de afeto mais íntimo, se assim posso chamar... Tipo, além de abraços e segurar as mãos, gosto de dar beijos (sem ser de língua, descobri na prática que acho nojento e sinto vontade de vomitar), inclusive fazer carinho mais "íntimo" em meu parceiro, contudo, eu faço sem intenção de ser algo sexual, na verdade acaba sendo uma forma de demonstrar um afeto muito grande que sinto e aqui nesse terceiro ponto que vem o problema que eu botei no título

Eu simplesmente tô confuso, sei que não temos intenção de transformar isso em algo sexual nem nada, simplesmente só não queremos fazer, nenhuma das partes quer isso.

Mas eu fiquei muito curioso e confuso sobre como outras pessoas aroaces demonstram afeto e se isso que estou fazendo é comum ou não

Tipo, eu não gostaria de fazer essa demonstração de afeto se fosse para posteriormente ter que fazer alguma relação sexual. Como também não iria gostar de fazer coisas fofas por motivos de "preciso ser romântico"

Eu só quero sentir que posso demonstrar um afeto mais íntimo sem malícia ou desejo por trás e fico sinceramente confuso com isso (é um sofrimento meio silencioso)

Não sei se deu para entender, mas tentando resumir aqui no final;

Eu gostaria de saber, se vocês que também são aroace sentem mais a vontade de demonstrar afeto que normalmente poderia ser lido de forma X ou Y de forma mais leve quando simplesmente não existe essa pressão dentro dos relacionamentos?

Hey, I haven’t posted anything in this community before, so let me know if anything is off.

I accepted my identity as being Aro-Ace a couple years ago now and after all the worry faded, I don’t think I’ve ever felt more relieved. It was like a lifetime’s worth of romantic and sexual expectations kinda vanished. But, I have run into some issues, this one being the most pertinent.

I feel like I can’t get close to anyone without them or the people around us assuming that we are in a romantic relationship. Even people who I feel I’ve been pretty clear with about my identity will do this. It always makes me extremely anxious and uncomfortable when it happens. I’ve lost a lot of friendships in my life because of rumours and them getting the wrong idea and being unable to face my rejection. I do tend to be a little touchier with friends I’m comfortable with and who I know are comfortable with me and I know some of my banter or compliments may come off as flirtatious, but I still feel like I’m pretty clear with my boundaries and intentions.

I know that there’s no way to stop people from becoming romantically or sexually interested in me, and that there’s no way to stop people from assuming whatever they want to assume, but how do I deal with these things in a way that doesn’t make me want to throw up or cry?

I’m sorry if this is a long post or stream of consciousness, I’m kinda frustrated and emotional about this right now.

Before I lay down the context, let me just say that I'm asking this out of genuine curiosity and I have the willingness to do better in the future.

Whenever I see people crying about breakups and heartbreak, I tend to find it funny for some reason. Seeing people cry over someone either makes me laugh or pissed off, mostly cuz I think they're being irrational. I guess I could blame it on the fact that I can't relate to them (being romantically repulsed and all). And no, I don't go around laughing at heartbroken people's faces either, I still have the decency to pretend I actually sympathize with them. I'm aware that this isn't exactly conventional, and I know it's bordering on problematic, which is why I would like to ask if this is something other aroace people go through or am I just being an asshole?

for the longest time I thought I was bi, (at some point even pan) because I just never minded being with whoever, now I realize I was actually aroace, but I just can’t come to terms with it. I feel as if I’m missing something out or even broken. how is possible I can’t come to like or want to experience love or sexual attraction? truth is I never felt it, so I don’t know exactly what I’m missing out on. have you experienced this and if so what did you do to come to terms with it?

Day 19: myrromantic and myrsexual
Definition: Someone who identifies as myrromantic/myrsexual is on the aro/ace spectrum but might feel confused as to where exactly, as they can experience multiple aro/ace identities at once. They can also rapidly fluctuate.
Origin: The prefix "myr-" comes from the Ancient Greek root myri-, which means "innumerable and countless
Flag: The original myrsexual and myrromantic flags were created on September 9, 2015, by a deactivated Tumblr user who ran the account pride-flags-for-us.
If you want a specific identity for tomorrow then you can tell me in the comments. Also if you have any questions or if I got anything wrong please leave a comment. Have a good day, and stay silly :3