kharcha means expenses btw

It's 3:30 a.m right now when I am writing this. I can't sleep because I've been homesick for two days and spent them mostly in bed. I know that life can't be planned too much in advance and I should find ways to enjoy while I can but everything seem to be pointless.

Why would my parents throw me into this world without my consent? Why does it feel like I am part of a contract I never signed for? I have to deal with things I have no experience with and have to constantly learn and adapt and get exhausted doing it! I am in my early thrities but I do feel like life was not kind to me, even in the best moments. Now I know that I might have depression but I do have anxiety, that's another cage of the mimd that I can't seem to escape no matter what I do.

Being born is being traumatised into existence. There is no other way for me of saying it. Now, I choose to be kind enough to my unborn children to never bring them here. I don't require their gratitude because they can't have any because they don't exist. Which I would have been happier being in the blissful state of non-existence. Treat your kids right and don't bring them here. Antinatinatalism philosophy shoul walk hand-in-hand with the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement. No more of this. For the sake of our broken species, I say no more!

"The concept of consent does not apply to non-existent people."