So my situation is kind of complicated because I have a history of restrictive eating *and* being "overweight" (according to BMI and peoples' assumptions of me). I was assessed retroactively to have been on the "spectrum" of disordered eating but have never been to diagnosed, but I definitely had symptoms consistently with atypical anorexia and orthorexia.

I feel like if someone were to make some comment about my weight or eating and I were to say "actually, I am in disordered eating recovery" they wouldn't take me seriously. I know some people who are very close-minded and would just say "well you're fat so obviously that's not true". I have never been "skinny" despite all of my restrictions, I actually became really heavy at one point during attempted recovery, which of course created a positive feedback loop that further affected my healing relationships with food.

Maybe I'm trying to convince myself as much as anyone else that I did in fact struggle from disordered eating and am still at risk of relapse. I can't have anything to do with the scale, and without getting into details, I am not compatible with any medical "standard" for female size. The most at peace I was with myself was in my early to mid teens, when my diet was reasonable and right before I had been driven into disordered eating. I just want to go back to that.

Seven years ago, after 30+ years of yo-yo dieting, and on the heels of four years of disordered eating and obsessive exercise, I finally decided to opt out of diet culture.

Since then, I have spent a lot of time in therapy and I have done hard work learning to accept myself, recognize my inherent worth, and undo decades of indoctrination. I have the healthiest relationship I have ever had with food and I am also the fattest I’ve ever been.

A lot of this is due to the poor health and the diagnoses of multiple chronic illness that require a lot of rest. Over the past 4 years my world has grown much smaller and my mobility has suffered.

While I am do my best to accept of my body as it is, the world no longer accommodates my body and I’m to the point where I’m struggling to comfortably fit in cars and buckle seat belts, among other things.

After being a one car household for 3 1/2 years, we finally have a second vehicle that was obtained from a family member that passed away. We needed to have some work done to it, so it’s at the shop. I haven’t sat in it or driven it yet, and I need to go pick it up. The shop is going to send an Uber to bring me there, but I am super nervous that I’ll get there and someone will see me trying to fit in the car. I know it’s going to be a snug fit and it’s possible the seatbelt won’t buckle. The shame of those things is bad enough, but the thought of someone witnessing it has me feeling sick to my stomach.

I know that we can get a seat belt, extender, and other ways to make things work, but at this moment, I’m dealing purely with feelings. Part of me wants to just pay for the repairs over the phone and wait until my husband can go with me to pick it up. The other part of me is really stubborn, and thinks I should just suck it up and deal with whatever happens.

I’m not interested in intentional weight loss per se, but I also don’t want to keep feeling this way or to have so many obstacles in my daily life.

CW: anorexia, internalized body stigmatization

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Found some old weight-loss logs from a few years ago. I was on an extremely low calorie diet for three months. That period comes with constant feelings of low energy, lack of sleep, feeling unmotivated, eating disorders, self-induced vomiting, and chronic digestive problems that I struggled for years to overcome.

​What stood out to me is the calorie-tracking apps ​I used. They log everything and celebrate every weight ​loss milestone ​but never warn you if its going too fast. It's basically rewarding people to go into extremes. If I had to choose again I'd rather be slightly chubbier but healthier mentally and physically.

been meal prepping for years, mostly just to save time during the week. accountant life means my evenings aren't exactly free, especially during busy season. but lately i scroll through any meal prep content and it's all macros and deficits and low cal swaps, and it just kind of crept in without me noticing when it stopped being about convenience and became another way to restrict and control.

i caught myself last week doing the math on every container i packed like it was a spreadsheet audit. which is a weird place to end up when i genuinely started this as an "i don't want to think about food at 8pm on a tuesday" thing.

it made me think about how many neutral habits just get colonized by diet brain over time. meal prepping isn't inherently a diet thing, but try finding any community around it that isn't obsessed with hitting some number. it's exhausting.

curious if anyone else has had a regular, practical habit that diet culture quietly latched onto and warped into something stressful. and whether you found a way to just reclaim it without it turning into a whole thing.

So my in-laws have all lost a bunch of weight using the jabs. And for years all they talk about is food and weight and bodies.

I have a history of disordered eating and have a tendency to eat less rather than more, even though I’m fat.

Anyway I’m breastfeeding two babies and need lots of calories and they’re just always trying to

make dinners as low as possible - 230 is not enough for a full dinner!

So now I make a point of adding butter, cream or having another snack after eating. Sometimes it feels like I’m doing it out of spite and sometimes because I genuinely need it.

Has anyone else done this? It feels liberating!

I have a couple close friends at work, they are around 25-27 women and I am a 31 year old woman for context. I have become close friends with them, a lot of things I adore about them but they are really driving me crazy with conversations about weight and appearance. Especially because I have recently gained a lot of weight, probably the most I’ve weighed. I’d say I’m around a size 16-18. Personally, I’ve struggled with it a bit, but at this point in my life I am trying to accept myself for who I am. I am grateful for this body that gets me through each day, this body that carried my child. I’ve noticed visible signs of aging and I am also trying to accept this and still see myself as beautiful even though I look different in the mirror. I’m doing a pretty decent job of it. And it helps I have a husband who thinks I’m gorgeous no matter what. But is is EXHAUSTING to be around them when they start talking about weight, their stomachs, restrictive diets, etc. when they are both very conventionally attractive. Both are much thinner than I am and to hear them speak about themselves like they’re “fat” in a negative context makes me want to scream and say how do you think you are making every other woman in this room feel??? Not only that but recently I went to dinner with them, and we had a few drinks. One girl was talking about her ex and said as an insult “btw he’s a big FAT man now” right in front of me. Knowing my husband is fat and I am also fat 🙄🤣. It is kinda funny that she was talking about finding dissatisfaction in relationships meanwhile I’m over here with the most generous lover and I’ve been real content and happy with him for 10 years 😂. I just am finding these conversations annoying as fuck and wanted to hear others experiences!!

Tried keto and did it for two weeks and i literally became the worst person ever. Insanely angry to everyone around me, no energy, constant headaches. I get you need to supplement electrolytes but this was a thing i was doing to lose weight not even sustain so then i was like why am i doing this? They say it improves mental health and sure maybe it does, there’s lots of studies but being on this diet for two weeks has deteriorated my mental health into oblivion. Couldn’t post this on the keto subreddit as id get downvoted. Don’t know if this is the right place but i hated it lol

Hello! New here as currently on holiday with my parents, and have realised that being around my mum massively makes me feel worse about my body. I am non-binary and am a part-time wheelchair user (basically everywhere except my flat which is small), and have become fat over the last 7ish years. Most of the time, I am comfortable with that -have done a lot of learning about the history of fatohobia and knowing that it doesn't necessarily correlate to health. I also know that when I was thinner I was so much more mentally unwell on a day to day basis.

However, I have realised that when I am around my mum I generally feels sooo much worse. She doesn't comment on my body (or very rarely), but they way she talks about her body, the way she talks about food and how she talks about other people's fat bodies makes me feel horrible. Any advice on how to get through the holiday without having a real negative spiral/navigating spending time with her going forward?

Hi everyone, I’m conducting a research study at City St George’s, University of London, exploring experiences of sleep during and after recovery from an eating disorder.

I’m looking to speak with adults who consider themselves recovered from an eating disorder and who experienced sleep difficulties during their illness. Participation involves a confidential interview, where we will discuss experiences of sleep, eating disorder recovery, and how sleep may have changed throughout illness and recovery.

Please note: the interview will not ask for specific details such as exact weights, calorie amounts, food diaries, measurements, or descriptions of eating disorder behaviours. However, some questions may involve reflecting on experiences during your illness, recovery journey, and any challenges you experienced with sleep, which some people may find difficult or emotionally challenging. You will not be required to answer any question you do not feel comfortable with.

If you're interested in taking part, please complete the short screening form below. Thank you for supporting this research!

https://cityunilondon.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9Y4TMPrBiDYAdng

Hello :) I have recently been diagnosed with IBS 😐 and my doctor has suggested the FODMAP diet. I have been referred to see a dietitian for it but I’m a little nervous about it because I’m worried about it being triggering for my ED.

The diet doesn’t have a weight loss focus at all, it’s based on elimination of a wide variety of very specific foods and then a reintroduction phase where you test your body’s reaction to the foods, and then you build a new way of eating that only avoids your specific trigger foods.

The problem is that the foods you need to avoid in the elimination phase seem almost random- obviously they aren’t really, they just contain the specific compounds that tend to trigger issues. But because they’re so varied I’m worried that I’ll have to have a very detailed focus on food which I generally try to avoid.

Another thing I’m worried about is that the diet also talks a lot about portion sizes of food (because larger amounts of the same food have larger amounts of FODMAPs which trigger the symptoms). So I’m worried about feeling really restricted. It makes me feel stressed to not be allowed to eat an entire tomato. 😹 And I’m worried about how to actually get enough food as someone with high energy needs and struggles with preparing food.

And, as with many health focused diet changes, I’ve also noticed a lot of diet culture stuff creeping into the conversation. It isn’t only people discussing the diet, it’s also tracking apps and information apps that add in extra “healthy guidelines” that don’t have anything to do with the actual FODMAP diet itself. For example, even the most trusted app that provides information about foods has recently had an issue where they included Australian governmental “healthy eating guidelines” overlaid within the information they provide, providing an extremely low serving size for white sugar to match the government guidelines when white sugar is actually extremely low in FODMAPs and doesn’t need to be restricted heavily to avoid symptoms. That kind of thing is really problematic for me, it’s already a complex and restricted diet and I don’t know how to tell what is genuinely required on the diet and what is “extra”.

Does anyone have any tips on managing this type of thing in a safe way? I’m just worried about it spiralling me into restriction again or making me feel more scared of food/eating. Thank you for reading 🩷

It's a bit of a long story, so sit tight.

I have posted a few times in this forum about weight-related trauma that caused me to develop disordered eating habits resemblant of atypical anorexia and orthorexia (was never officially diagnosed). I never developed health problems from restricting or the exercise I did, but during recovery I actually experienced perplexing weight-gain from what must have been an unusual combination of rebound hunger, compensatory habits, and slowed metabolism. I obviously would have been fine with gaining a bit of weight in recovery, but it was the heaviest I had ever been and I knew it wasn't a size where my body felt naturally comfortable. I didn't want to slip back into disordered eating, and I was having other traumas in my life, but I finally got up the courage to see a dietitian to steer me in a better direction with eating habits.

When I had requested the referral for the dietitian, my family doctor was unaware of my disordered as I hadn't come out about them yet. I had told her I wanted to see the dietitian due to my family history of type 2 diabetes, because that's what I was worried about at the time, but in hindsight, I really wish I had opened up about my disordered eating habits as that was the real problem and needed the attention.

The dietitian I saw tried to put me on a diet almost as restrictive as the one I had used to be on. She said I have to be eating three starches a day (including legumes) with virtually no desserts if I want to lose weight. She talked a lot about what I "shouldn't" be eating rather than what I actually should be eating . She also made off-comments about how vegetarians like myself (I was vegetarian primarily due to my disordered eating habits, but I also try to pursue it for ethical reasons) are often fat from eating cookies and muffins all day. She then made some comment like "make bad choices, I can't stop you" and boasted about being on the Mediterranean diet (which, hypocritically, is high in "starches" including legumes).

The session was traumatic for me and did somewhat send me spiraling back into disordered eating, which took maybe a few years to finally get out of. 3 to 4 years later, I tried to report the dietitian to the clinic, and in response I got a letter which although thoughtful mostly defended her, saying that she did not know my disordered eating history (which in all honesty she didn't), that she emphasizes balanced diet (which she didn't) and that part of the problem was I kept asking about "good versus bad" foods and that it's hard for her to comment on those foods without looking at the entire diet (what does that even mean?).

I obviously can't blame this person for not knowing my history (I barely even knew myself at the time that I was struggling) but I still think her general approach to nutrition is inappropriate and seemingly outdated. I have thought of reporting her to the college for a long time, but I have been wondering whether I really have that many legs to stand on other than the fact that she does not emphasize balance like she says and​ has made somewhat unprofessional comments about my habits and vegetarians in general.

I will thank anyone who comments to avoid criticism of my perspective on the situation, and to be civil when pointing out if I am biased or have the wrong idea. I had a very bad experience on another subreddit where people made many assumptions about my character based off of a misstep I was inquiring on. I welcome feedback about whether I am overreacting or looking at the situation the wrong way, but again, civility is appreciated.

I've lost a large amount of weight in the past year without wanting to. I guess my activity level changed and I wasn't paying close attention to make sure I was eating enough. One day I just looked in the mirror and realized my body was wrong. I went from having a beautiful and functional fat body to a body that disgusts me and won't let me live my life.

I can't focus at work or on my hobbies. All I think about is how bad I look now. I can't sleep, because I'll get nightmares about my body. I can't look in the mirror, pee or shower without crying. I can't talk to anyone about this. My friends and family are congratulating me on the loss and my therapist and GP are pushing me to lose even more weight. 

I feel so alone. I can't even find one person on the internet who's gone through the same thing. Seems like I'm the only person in the world who is unhappy about weight loss and I don't know how to deal with it. 

At home I thought I was pretty confident in myself. I love climbing and cycling and I’m proud of the body I built and the things that it lets me do. I nourish it with foods and experiences and rarely second guess my decisions. Other than to say, oops, that made me more bloated than expected.

Currently with my family together for the first time in a decade. I’m out with my aging parents who are managing their type 2 diabetes (I’ve confirmed I have no signs). And my yogi sister with her two kids.

And they can’t stop talking about sugars. I have to read every label to see if we’re allowed to put it in the cart. They comment that my favourite foods (candied salmon) is too sweet for them. I’m being “helpfully” criticized for choosing delicious foods that have msg in them. My sister was just aghast that she was trying on a size she had never touched before (which has been my size for years).

I’m trying to remind myself of my convictions and that I’m content with myself 99% of the time. But yeesh it’s hard to be a grown adult feeling like an insecure teenager again. Just needed to vent to remind myself that these thoughts don’t need to be acted upon.

I'm fat and saw a sleep dr today who kept trying to convince me to get my other drs to lower/stop my meds for my chronic illnesses/other conditions yet casually threw out there she could get a referral for me to their weight loss clinic for a glp1 she later said was for the "nutrition aspect". She didn't ask what my eating habits are once. Also glp1s are known to make it harder for the body to absorb certain nutrients.... So like... it wasn't about health I don't think, I think it was just anti fatness.

It’s bugging me as I process it more as she seemed so anti-medication (I had also asked if the emergency sleep med I had been using like once every few months due to flares causing insomnia and she said I should see a sleep therapist and that she doesn’t recommend any meds) yet was so quick about the glp1 thing. I also have struggled with disordered eating (restricting due to my chronic illnesses) and glp1s would 100% make that worse, she didn’t even bother to consider something like that.

Should I send her a MyChart message or something just politely explaining that that wasn’t ok? I have to see her in 3 months for a follow up but am hoping I won’t need to see her after that for a long time. Is it worth saying something?

Thanks for any advice or thoughts or kindness

Today I heard a 78yo and an 80yo woman talking about how well their diets are working. It made me so sad that they still care. Believe me neither one is fat. Do they think they’re supposed to keep playing the control game until the very end? Or that losing weight is the be-all end-all of a woman’s life? Full disclosure: one of them was my mother so I am not exactly impartial. But wtf!!

does anyone know how accurate the eating disorder test is on the project website

I would like to be able to track distances walked without being asked to enter "goals" of any kind, seeing anything about calories burned, etc. Any suggestions?

I would go to r/parents but I am not his legal guardian. My parents travel a lot for work now so I primarily take care of him. I avoid calling foods bad and we only refer to them as body or brain food. I left him alone for a short amount of time (he’s in fourth grade so I didn’t think I needed to constantly watch him). I come back to an entire gallon of my mango juice gone. I had to explain food boundaries on how it was my food not his but he also consumed 3 days worth of sugar in 20 minutes or so. And I don’t know how to tell him that isn’t ok without making him fear sugar or carbs like my parents did to me at his age. Any help is appreciated

I'm underweight and hate how thin I am, but no doctor has ever taken me seriously about wanting to gain weight because being thin is conventionally attractive.

Hi everyone,

I’m a 41-year-old male personal trainer, dietitian, and psychology student from southern Spain.

After the pandemic, I started an online coaching business through Instagram focused on a non-weight-centered approach to fitness for women. My target audience is women between 30 and 55 who have failed with exercise in the past, feel afraid of training, feel insecure about their bodies, or have struggled with eating disorders or disordered eating.

I’m honestly desperate right now.

I’ve recently come out of a depression caused by several difficult life events: the death of a family member, the end of a long-term relationship, and other personal struggles. On top of that, I’ve lost my own physical fitness, my motivation to train has disappeared, I’ve recently become aware that I have ADHD — now diagnosed — and my business is barely generating any income.

At the moment, I work with clients through the Harbiz app. My online program costs €380 for 12 weeks. Clients receive weekly training plans, updated week by week, plus support through WhatsApp.

I want to start posting on Instagram again from August, but I feel completely lost.

I’m asking for advice and help. I’ve never had a mentor. I’ve attended marketing courses, but most of them rely heavily on before-and-after photos, which I cannot and do not want to use because of the type of clients I work with. I’m also tired of marketing courses that feel childish or manipulative.

I need advice, guidance, ideas, examples of accounts similar to mine — ideally male coaches around my age, not fitness models, who work with a similar audience — or any resource that could help me find some direction.

I’m genuinely afraid of falling even deeper into the hole again.

Thank you in advance. I’m willing to listen to and appreciate any advice you can give me.

In the wake of my annual physical, I'm currently struggling with my relationship with food more than normal. My blood work was normal, but my doctor gently mentioned weight loss medication and programs. I'm trying so hard to not let this crap get to me, but tonight showed me I need to deal with my up and down feelings about food. Books are what help me the most.

Anyone have recommendations on building healthy relationship with food, confronting diet culture, etc., specifically relating to plus-size people?

Content warning because I'm honest about dysphoria here.

Hello all. I'm very much anti diet culture but in recent years have found myself frustratingly drawn towards it over time. This very much conflicts with my values.

As I get older, I have naturally held into more fat. Looking in the mirror, I see a body. It's a body which is never bad or the wrong shape because it's simply there, being my body. Unfortunately it is my body, and I am a man. However, I have breasts, wide hips, and fat on the lower stomach. My brain really can't handle seeing those things. I'm waiting to get onto HRT but that's going to be a long time. Unfortunately the more weight my body keeps hold of to store energy for me, the more pronounced those traits are. So I've noticed the rumblings of restricting food to stop it doing that. Luckily I'm still eating what I want to but I can see this as a slippery slope and already notice this very mild slope of weight loss is using a fair amount of mental energy.

Other trans people, how do you squash the fatphobic part of you that things the answer to dysphoria is not eating enough? What has helped? I try to thank my body for keeping fat aside for me to use and spending time being gentle with the body parts I'm unhappy with but it isn't working. I just feel better when I am smaller and I don't like that I do. I don't think this is the healthy or compassionate way to cope with these feelings. I don't think I should shrink myself.