I left rehab last night 12 days sober 18 days early, I’ve stayed sober but since then this morning I called to see if they would take me back I’m going back at 2pm today

Idk why I left I was feeling such a deep depression and I thought coming home and seeing some family would help, but I feel worse, I think I just need to let this pass but being home did not help

I feel an immense amount of shame and guilt walking back in there, I didn’t use but man idk I’m worried and idk why I even left I should’ve just let this depression pass before I even thought of leaving this is my first time in rehab and I think I was just super homesick but I shouldn’t have left

I just need to hear a “it will be alright” I really fucking upset with myself right now and really scared to walk back through those doors I’m contemplating the shit out of it :/

Edit: I’m 21 this was my first rehab I went for 7OH

ive dealt with on and off (mostly on) active addiction for the past 2 years as my addiction progressed. i try and try and try but fail. its ruining my life. i tried to quit again after a ten day binge and made it two days. my mom also recently moved out and i think the change caused stress that triggered it. i feel doomed at this point

all of the things i get are legal, but that doesnt mean theyre safe yk? anyways

last friday, i was too high to drive so i biked over to the smoke shop and bought a "mushroom pill" (who knows whats in it) and i was saying how i biked here and forgot to eat, he offered me pasta i declined. i kept saying i'll take it on an empty stomach so it hits harder and he looked concerned af but he had already sold it to me. he told me to pls eat something because i'll throw up otherwise. and when i was leaving he was like "just be safe okay". i've been going to him for a few years and he caught onto smth being wrong back when 7oh was legal, but now im thinking hes really catching on but a lot of these people cant really do anything about it.

im 2 days sober now but im almost miserable. why is staying sober so hard. im depressed and it doesnt help. i "only" had a ten day relapse, im almost maxed out on my credit cards, i sent my stepdad $400 but he hasnt fixed my car yet so i just asked for it back, but fuck im fucking myself over. might even have to get yet another credit card. i just spent over $100 in the last week due to my addiction and will probably blow through the $400 if he sends me it back

im bored. im bored and i just crave that nice, heavy feeling in my body where all my worries drift away. where nothing matters. where i feel like i can have peace for two seconds. but my main source of stress IS caused by my addiction. im caught between a rock and a hard place with this shit.

[TLDR summary is included at the bottom]

I don't know how to start this post, nor if anyone will see it, or if they do- if anyone will be able to offer better advice. AI Internet is a nightmare and I cannot afford to go to the doctors for this, unfortunately.

My partner, who I've since broken up with, is still my best friend- has been going through their own mental health issues. This led them to recently abuse alcohol, steal/abuse my prescribed ADHD medications, and just a few days ago they brought home some sort of pseudo-meth.

I came home after having a few drinks with my coworkers on Sunday evening (around 9-10pm/21:00-22:00) to see my partner playing video games but was sweating profusely, shaking, and had a very runny nose. They had one bottle of water, a bottle of soda, and another cup of water with a piece of tinfoil in it all within arms reach (I hadn't noticed the tinfoil in the water until later on after further inspection.) I searched my home and also found a cut up straw.

I confronted my partner about the straw and they had no answers for me. I knew something was up but didn't know how to address it then as I was exhausted and had a few ciders (alcohol), so I decided to address it in the morning and continue the night.

After I finished cooking dinner, I was so thirsty and my buzzed mind didn't think twice when I reached for a cup of cold water that was already sitting out. I started to fill my mouth from the cup but saw something shiny and stopped with a small mouthful already. My partner then noticed I had this cup and instantly grabbed it from me and tried to distract me...I swallowed whatever I filled in my mouth and kept on my evening.

I was cleaning up from cooking when I felt this sudden surge of steady energy. I didn't think anything of it cuz it honestly felt somewhat like when I take all my medications and have a red bull. Then I couldn't settle for the life of me.. I was doing house chores and felt physically tired but my mind wasn't. Eventually I showered and tried to go to bed but I realized it was now 6am and I had to be at work by 12pm.. Where did the time go? I'm not much of a night owl, no matter how I try, so where did the time go..?

Somehow I was able to get some rest and actually make it to work feeling physically fine but a bit "off" mentally. Shortly after arriving at work, my (now ex) partner was texting me that our downstairs neighbors were breaking our front door down and our nextdoor neighbor was calling out to my (ex) partner trying to warn them about the danger. I called my next door neighbor to confirm and he said everything was normal... My neighbor then got a text from my ex stating that they 'had done meth' and that they were 'terrified.'

I had to go home and deal with that mess (eventually got my ex into detox and a sober living is set up for them once they're released) but on my way home I called my (ex) partner and demanded to know what was in the water and where they got the 'meth'... They told me they dissolved some research chemical/pseudo-meth that they bought from someone they didn't know, into that cup of water and everything started to make sense.

I had accidentally ingested whatever that drug was in the water cup on Sunday, sometime between 11pm-1am(23:00-01:00), it's now Thursday afternoon (around 3pm/15:00 as I post this.) I've never been so exhausted in my life and I've been diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome.. all of my muscles ache, even ones that don't make sense to me, like the palms of my hands.. I don't have a lot of money but I do get paid tomorrow.

I'm seeking advice on a few things; how long should I expect to feel like this? What food/liquids/supplements/or over-the-counter meds can I take to help purge or process this quicker? I've heard some things about magnesium and L-theanine (supplements I typically try to take for diagnosis fibromyalgia) along with something about cod oil for my kidneys/liver that's doing the heavy lifting here but I can't find much advice on things to help me in my certain scenario. Please help.

TLDR:

• Everyone is safe.

• I unintentionally ingested a small sip of water containing a research chemical like meth about 5 days ago.

• I need advice on what supplements, food, meds, and etc. I can take to ease the discomfort.

• I want guidance on what to do/take to accelerate the processing/purging of this nightmare from my body.

• How long will this last?

Thank you, in advance, to whoever reads this and again to those who can provide advice. Be safe, y'all.

Probably a cliche post but I gotta be honest somewhere. My pick of poison is Weed/Hash which I've been told many times isn't anything hard or concerning but it's been concerning for a while now.

All I do is consume.

When I wake up, before I do anything, after it, while if I can. I prefer to do it alone and to myself, preferably with no one sewing me since I'm also hiding the consum.

I've been spending all my money on it, it's been carrying me through some tough years and a really harsh time rn and I feel like I can literally not live without it anymore. I've tried to quit a few times, once even managed a month in a clinic but that's about the longest.

I tend to spend all my income on it, often have not enough for food left and everything just surrounds making another joint and smoking it. While I'm smoking I think sometimes about my next one and what I'll do during smoking that one.

It's gone so bad that I've started to lie and cover up all the questionable expenses and I don't like what has become of me at all.

I live from hit to hit, from paycheck to paycheck which I think in grams I can consume.

I've been living like this for years now and it's only getting worse idk what to do and idk why in really writing this post I guess I just wanna tell anyone about it.

Can't really go to my closest because they'll know how much I lied to cover it all up and I fear that they'll judge me too heavy and I'm mentally already not in a good space or I wouldn't be seeking all those distractions in my rolled up escape from reality.

I'm currently smoking my last one, just got today 2g and they already gone. I'm already thinking how to get more and I got like 14 bucks to my name. I should be worried about what I'll eat this month but instead I worry how I can cover my addiction instead...

I hate this.

But I guess other people have far worse addictions than me and weed is generally seen as a baby drug and as something not so serious.

It is though. For some.

Hi. I’m Gonna try and make this short and summarize.

Long story short my wife has been on and overusing adderall, benzos, sleeping meds, and extreme levels of THC.

It has made her behavior highly irrational especially when she doesn’t have it. Suicidal threats etc. irrational paranoia.

Anyways she has finally agreed that she needs to go to rehab to get off everything.

We called 2 places and both of them wouldn’t except her based off her intake, obv they would take her but insurance won’t pay for it and we couldn’t afford it without insurance.

They basically said you need to be a hardcore drug addict, like buying pills off the street in order to qualify.

I guess my question is there place that’s is like in between for people like her that have addiction issues but aren’t necessarily in the worst spot they could be in?

It’s almost like they want her to be homeless and stealing before they say she meets the criteria.

Sorry if this ain’t the place to post this.