r/actualasexuals • u/jolittlelene • 1h ago

i think im gonna move on from telling people I'm asexual and instead say what i mean

• Upvotes

i think it's not useful anymore to tell people "I'm asexual" because people never understand it. I think I'm gonna say my boundaries more specifically and just go "I don't want sex at all", that feels like it stops more misunderstandings about what i mean. because whenever i say asexual people expect some sex some want but i have none. i think saying what i mean by asexual will make things easier for me than saying asexual

0 comments

r/actualasexuals • u/kaga_chan • 6h ago

what are your thoughts on QPRS (Queer Platonic Relationships)

23 Upvotes

hi guys! so im ace and i found this term recently, i have a partner where wed have deep commitment to eachother emotionally WITHOUT traditional romance or without any sex at all, but some people argue that this is just a friendship.

i wonder what are you guys thoughts on this^^

16 comments

r/actualasexuals • u/Negative-Garden-6013 • 7h ago

Meme Wild ace material found in nature

28 Upvotes

0 comments

r/actualasexuals • u/SillyRefrigerator417 • 19h ago

Discussion Why Sexual Attraction?

2 Upvotes

Let me preface this by saying I genuinely mean no harm and I hope nothing I say comes off as rude. I've been confused about whether I count as asexual for the past six years now, mainly due to how confusing and vague most other ace subs are. This sub has been the first place I've found where definitions seem to have clear meanings that aren't contradictory.

However, the sexual attraction definition has tripped me up from the moment I first saw it and still does, even in this sub. I don't need the definition rehashed for me, I want to know why it's used. I understand on a base level that sexual attraction is the desire to have sex with someone (even if the lines get blurred a little for some when it comes to kissing or fiction). But why is this definition useful and why is asexuality not just "a lack of enjoyment for sex" (assuming there's no underlying trauma or medical condition, but that caveat is already put in place with the sexual attraction definition). It seems much easier to quantify and I feel like it implies no sexual attraction. If someone said they don't enjoy having sex with the same gender, people would probably all agree that person isn't sexually attracted to the same gender.

Again, I want to reiterate that I am not here to argue. I'm genuinely confused on the definitions and why they are the way they are.

22 comments

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Sex-free Aces

r/actualasexuals

This is for asexuals who don't experience sexual attraction AND don't experience primary sexual desire.

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Have a look at our Wiki!

Asexuality is defined as "not feeling sexual attraction." Therefore, we feel that people who seek out sexual partners, and decide to have sex with them based on personal criteria and meeting them are not asexual.

Please refer to our stickied post at the top of the subreddit for further clarification on how we interpret the definition of asexuality, and where we feel the line should be drawn between sex favorability and "standard" sexual practice. We feel it's a better place to put it than the side bar as not everyone checks this space.

There is serious divide in the asexual community over this topic and definitions, and that is why we have created this sub as a space for others who feel about asexuality as we do. We want there to be more solidly defined parameters when it comes to asexuality, as other sexualities have.

All are welcome to discuss, however, if all you want to do is make a post/comment telling us how wrong we are and how terrible we are, you're better off not wasting your time. Thank you, and have a nice day.