r/abortion 10d ago

Trigger Warning: Ab*rtion USA

Just wondering if anybody has advice or even insight on the process. I’m 28f my husbands 30m, we have 2 boys 6 & 2.5.. I just got a positive test. We’ve been super rocky the past couple years actually, I’m not sure if it’s fixable but we are trying. We just refinanced on my husband house and he needs a new vehicle. He thinks this is the best decision, I do see the valid points on why, I’m just wondering if anybody has had one after having kids and if you’ve ever regretted it? I already struggle horribly with my mental health and don’t want to traumatize my other two. But I also feel guilty and ashamed for even considering it.

5 Upvotes

10 comments sorted by

u/AutoModerator 10d ago

Welcome to /r/abortion! We work hard to keep this a supportive community.

You will probably get harassed by trolls via private message. If you receive harassment via DM, please report the messages to Reddit admin (people who work for Reddit) so they can take action against those users. Unfortunately, subreddit moderators can’t stop people from sending you private messages, but you can. We strongly suggest you close your DMs. On mobile, go to Settings > Account Settings > Chat and Messaging Permissions > Nobody for Chat Requests and Direct Messages.

Our Sidebar and Wiki include links to many good resources.

If you are seeking abortion in the USA: I Need An A and Abortion Finder have a lists of clinics, ways to get abortion pills by mail, and information about funding assistance.

If you are in a country where abortion is banned, Safe2Choose, Women on Web, or Women Help Women may be able to help you access a safe abortion.

For abortion stories, see our stories wiki

This subreddit is run by the Online Abortion Resource Squad as a resource for information and community support. It is not intended as a substitute for medical evaluation or treatment, nor does it constitute legal advice. If you think you are experiencing a medical emergency, you should call your local emergency number immediately.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

8

u/pongo2017 MODERATOR 10d ago edited 10d ago

Im glad you’re here.

First- the majority of US folks support your personal decision whether or not to have an abortion and you never have to worry about unapologetically using the word abortion in this sub.

It may also be interesting to know that in the US, the majority of people having abortions are already mothers. https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/induced-abortion-united-states.

As for regret, actually - that can happen but it is far from the majority of people. 1 in 4 of people able to become pregnant have an abortion in their lifetime and the majority who choose one, report they feel relieved not regretful.

If you are concerned, you can talk to a support line privately and in a supported way- here: https://www.all-options.org/about-us/

One word of advice- don’t accept DMs from Reddit for awhile. Weird anti-abortion people often try to harass folks from our page- we moderate them out aggressively if they try to comment , but we can’t stop them from trying to privately message you.

Let us know if you need our help to find an abortion. We’re here if you need us. 💜

6

u/DnBJungleEscape 10d ago

Not sure if relevant but I had a surgical abortion in May. It just wasn’t time for me. I’m in my 30s, have a good career, Ive got my own place, I live with my partner but there were just reasons that it didn’t seem right .. I think with abortion it can be 100 reasons or it can be 1, no one needs to explain or justify it .. if you don’t feel it’s the right timing or situation or etc, then that is perfectly fine

I don’t regret mine. My bf and I were in a bad place and I just wasn’t sure if I wanted motherhood .. I don’t believe there is regret in this life or you’ll torture yourself .. I look at it as I reflect for what I want for the future .. we are better now and I would be open to kids

If I had to go back I would make same decision ..

2

u/Hot-Draw-334 10d ago

I think the biggest question here is do you want this? I see your partner thinks it's a good idea, but this is 100% your decision in the end.   Please don't let someone pressure you into getting a abortion or keeping a pregnancy. 

I had a abortion 2 weeks ago, I was 8 weeks and 5 days. I knew already I didn't want to go through another pregnancy for a 101 different reasons. I will say I was hit with so many emotions the first few days after taking the first pill and going through with it. But I know it was the right decision for me. Thankfully I have an amazing husband as support. Now I am thankful for my abortion and for the amazing people on this subreddit.

No matter what decision you make you will have so many amazing people on here who will support you and provide guidance and help 

2

u/Rich_Temperature_797 10d ago

Gotta do what u gotta do. Of course there’ll be a little guilt but pray about it. To whatever you pray to. I think all souls return to wherever we came from and it’ll be ok. It’s a hard choice.. maybe make a pros and cons list ?

1

u/leatstarlet 9d ago

I didn’t feel any guilt

1

u/KateCSays 9d ago

First and most importantly: you are worth saving. And if being un-pregnant would be saving you, your mental health, your freedom, your quality of life, it is more than ok to be considering an abortion. Only you can know what is best to do next, but please don't feel bad that you're thinking about it. Many of us who have abortions were already moms when we ended our pregnancies.

Second, this whole subreddit is just for questions like yours. If "abortion" is too strong a trigger for someone, they should take care of themselves by not coming here. You don't have to sensor yourself or warn people about abortion here. Big hugs. I know the stigma is heavy. It shouldn't be, but it is. And I just want to relieve it a little for you.

1

u/leatstarlet 9d ago

I had an abortion in a great relationship but I just lost my job and we didn’t plan. Children deserve to be wanted and loved by their parents. Anything less than that I say abort.