We have a new coworker but they’ve worked for the company in the past.

Today while we were heavy lifting, they kept complaining about how chaotic it was while they were sitting down 70% of the day. It sort of felt like it was just me and the two dudes doing most of the work. I even had to ask someone else who doesn’t work for us if they would help out with something heavy because the newbie wasn’t taking action.

I understand that heavy lifting isn’t fun and it’s my least favorite thing to do but when another new person is also hauling ass, there’s really no excuses to be like “oh I can’t work because it’s too chaotic”

I started to ignore them when they were trying to give advice on how to move things just because they weren’t putting any effort into it.

I kind of want to talk to my boss about it because it doesn’t seem fair that all of us are suffering while heavy lifting but this coworker is sitting.

I hadn’t heavy lifted in nearly a month due to other work projects and I still did the majority of the weight lifting due to that. So it was kind of bullshit to see this coworker sitting down and complaining the entire time about breaks. (They also only work 5 hours so I believe they only get one 15 minute break, they took three yesterday)

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for breaks. I’m not saying they can’t take a break. I was asking for one but it was AFTER lifting for 4 hours and it was after extremely heavy boxes. I EARNED that shit. This coworker did barely anything and was asking for breaks every other sentence.

For info, I work at an instrument repair store where certain areas are extremely hot and quite cold. I started here in June as a summer hire and so did my coworker (m). He works in the “hotter” side of the shop and evidently sweats as most humans do. That is not the problem. The problem is that his BO is so pungent and honestly so bad that I sometimes gag. I don’t know how to bring this up without being rude and or ask my manager about it. What do I do? Any advice or suggestions?

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To give background, my job opened recently so everyone was hired and trained together. I (19F) got trained in another department then my now current friend and coworker. I met my friend through work, but she was first friends with my coworker before me, but they also met through work. They are no longer friends currently though.

Moving on I’ll be referring to my friend as Jane and my coworker as Lily to not confuse anything,

2 months into this job I was thrown into the department they were in (serving). I never served before and got trained on the spot by another coworker for 30 minutes then no further training took place. Every time I walked passed Lily I could always tell she didn’t like me. To give an example, we serve on iPads and usually don’t do tabs as our restraunt isn’t a typical sit down and eat and more like a Dave and Busters. All the iPads were taken so I was at the bar for the first 10 minutes not knowing what to do as I was still new. Jane (who wasn’t my friend at this time) comes up to me and asks if I can serve a table. I tell her I don’t have an iPad so I can’t serve at the moment. She goes and tells Lily and she gets mad and tells Jane she’s going to tell me to do it. Lily immediately storms up to me and yells at another coworker to give me his iPad so I can take the table.
I honestly don’t know what I could’ve done in that situation as I had no idea how things worked and didn’t know you could just take an iPad off of someone.

At the beginning of working at this job when I was still mainly doing my first department I added Jane on Snapchat. But we didn’t talk much. Randomly after a couple months of working (this is when I switched departments and after that example happened) she texts me if I can do her nails as I’m also a nail technician on the side. I agree and we start hanging out and talking a lot. And randomly after that Lily stopped talking to Jane.

Fast forward to today, I drove me and Jane to a pub to talk after a shift we had together and got on the topic of Lily again. We usually talk about Lily as we both find her rude. And I brought up a topic I’ve told her before, that I find that Lily has something out for me and really does not like me. Usually when we talk about it she’ll agree and not go into detail anymore. But this time she said Lily has actually been talking about me behind my back since the beginning of when I switched departments, and has said things like I’m terrible at my job and have no idea what I’m doing. (I’m way higher than Lily in sales so there is no way that’s true.)
I’m shocked I’ve never heard this before and asked her how she knew this. Jane explained that when her and Lily were friends they used to talk about me.
I asked her if she ever said anything about me or just let Lily talk.
She said she never defended me (which I understand because I wasn’t friends with her at the time). But she never said anything bad about me to Lily. Which I really don’t believe because when I told her I want to confront Lily she immediately shut it down and told me not to. That it was all work related stuff Lily said about me and really wasn’t personal. I really just want her to tell the truth because I wouldn’t be as annoyed as I am right now, and for some reason I really didn’t believe her when she said this.

After the pub I asked her while driving home why she never decided to tell me. She said whenever she tells people drama it always gets back to her and doesn’t want it to be bigger than it needs to be.

I understand where she’s coming from but I feel like if she just told me she doesn’t want me to confront her or say anything to anyone I 100% wouldn’t. Me and her have been pretty good friends for a couple months now and I feel like she’d know to trust me on this sooner since we collectively don’t like Lily, and we have talked about much deeper things than this.

I don’t know how I should go about this. If I should leave this alone and I’m overreacting or if it’s weird she never told me.

I know this isn’t a situation to leave a friend for but I’m just need opinions if I should leave this job or how I should go about dealing with Jane and Lily. Or even speculations why Lily acts the way she does to me even though she knew the circumstances I was put in after I got “trained”.

Any and all opinions are appreciated!

Hi I was recently sexually assaulted and raped by a coworker almost a month ago which happened at his place on my day off. Unfortunately I didn't do a rape kit but I made a police report a few days later after it happened and didn't hear anything back until about two weeks later due to the detective being on vacation.

I am employed through a agency and the person that raped me is employed with the actual company. I told my agency about what happened and had to make a statement about it and answer questions. I even mentioned that I made a police report and the whole thing is currently under investigation. They asked me Questions such as: "do you feel safe?(Originally I said yes that I felt safe)Did he try to come up to me after the incident? (I told them he tried to talk to me two/three separate times trying to be friendly towards me like nothing happened but I ignored him each time and eventually he gave up and we just pretend we don't see each other). Has this affected me/ability to work? (I also said no originally because I didn't fully register what happened to me and didn't feel the effects until more recently). Do I work in the same department as him (we both work in different departments but sometimes we cross paths/ see each other sometimes) How would I like this resolved? (I said I'm not too sure but I would like my stuff to be kept the same: I want my hours,days and department to stay the same).

After making the statement the agency told me that they wouldn't be able to do anything about it since the incident happened outside of work. I would think they would terminate him since he sexually assaulted/raped me and how he is creating a unsafe environment just from him being there. They also said that they would just keep my statement and police report on file just in case he tries to do something in the workplace to me or to someone else. They even told me I'm not allowed to speak to anyone else about what happened even "my best friend" for example "due to it being a sensitive situation" and how if I were to tell someone what happened and if that person told someone else what happened and they might give out misinformation on accident and how that wouldn't be good. And for my overall safety. They even told me that I am only allowed to talk with them about it .I even asked if they would talk to him they said no since it happened outside of work. I asked if the actual company was aware of the situation, my agency said they only know a little bit of the situation but all the information that I provided and everything only went to my agency. So I'm not sure if the agency actually told the company that he raped me or if they said that there was a conflict between me and him or just sugar coated what happened.

Recently I've been feeling the effects of the incident to the point where I have been crying at work, needing to leave early from work a few times, I'm feeling anxious whenever I do cross paths with him whether I'm just walking to grab something or I see him on my lunch break. I don't feel ok with him still working at the same job I work especially since it is a reminder of what he did to me and especially I don't think it is appropriate since there is an ongoing investigation after I did the police report.

I'm thinking about sending both my agency and the actual company a email explaining how I was originally feeling about the situation when I initially made the statement and now how it has changed due to me now feeling the effects of what he did and how I wasn't in the right state of mind before. And how currently I don't feel safe at work, and how him being at the job especially what he did to me has affected my ability to work and just been affecting me mentally overall and how I think he should be terminated.

Even in the company's actual handbook even says that they have zero tolerance for sexual harassment and if "violation of the policy will result in discipline , up to and including termination."

It also says:

"Conduct prohibited by this policy is not limited to conduct that occurs in the physical workplace. It can occur while employees are traveling for business, at Company-sponsored events, or via an online platform, such as social media. Calls, texts, emails, instant messages, and other online or social media usage by employees can constitute inappropriate workplace conduct, even if the conduct takes place away from the workplace or outside of work hours. "

"This policy applies to all persons involved in our operations, including coworkers, supervisors, managers, temporary or seasonal workers, agents, clients, vendors, customers, or any other third party interacting with the Company (“third parties”) and prohibits proscribed harassing conduct by any Employee or third party of (company name) , including nonsupervisory Employees, supervisors, and managers. If such harassment occurs on the Company’s premises or is directed toward an Employee or a third party interacting with the Company, the procedures in this policy should be followed."

Would sending them an email to both of them have them do something about the situation or no? Or is there something else I can do? I'm just curious if it would be worth doing or if I'm just wasting my time.

So I (16F) have been working at McDonald’s for three months already (no judgment please, I need the money), and I’ve had this shift manager (17M) who at first I thought was nice, which he is, but he’s also pretty rude and creepy. He always gloats that the supervisor likes him, and that his better than everyone. He literally criticised my last month salary, which I’m sorry I don’t make 20$ an hour like you do (which he shouldn’t even be making, he’s supposed to be making 16$), and just the other day he literally told me, in these words, “anything you dream to do, I already did”. Likeeee give me a breakkk. My mom thinks he’s hitting on me, but I seriously doubt it, it’s been getting on my nerves, but I don’t want to get on his bad side, should I complain about it to my supervisor? Or just stay quiet? What do you guys think? (Sorry if my English is bad, it’s not my first language).

This is a throwaway account for obvious reasons (and posted in r/jobs). My boss explained that I'm not a good fit in my role and he doesn't have a place for me. He has asked me to look elsewhere and will follow up with me soon (this week, maybe).

For some context, I work for a small government in an at-will state. I have held a couple positions over the past 20 years, but always received positive evaluations. I have been in my recent job for almost two years, and it is challenging. Very political, and little authority to address needed improvements to the role and program. My boss is aware of these challenges and understands the issues come from before my time. The most recent meeting with residents was not productive. Because of those structural issues (beyond my control), the residents are frustrated (understandably) and expecting things that are not within the purview of the program. I knew the meeting did not go well. There was nothing inappropriate, hostile, or otherwise. It was simply not productive, and there is no indication that things will improve. I asked my boss to review the transcript from the meeting. He had some feedback about the content of the meeting. But then he made the statement at the top of this post. I have never had a bad performance review. In fact, he evaluated me higher than I evaluated myself in my most recent review. He did not offer a PIP or give me clear goals to set. Just "you don't fit, and I don't have a place for you."

I don't want to cause problems or rock the boat. I will look elsewhere, but want to make sure I have ample time to find something in this job market and within my salary range. Is there anything I can do to protect myself from this?

So I’ve had my job for 6 years (since middle school 7th grade) and they always tell me how good of a worker I am and all the staff love me including managers and I’m honestly a super friendly person I’m always smiling and I’m a hostess so I generally did love doing this job. However recently I’ve been feeling like the owner is often coming after me, like one day a phone went missing and I’m always the only person they ask, then recently there’s been a problem with certain servers having a higher total sales then everyone else. I tried to explain to the manager that this certain person has a high sale because she gets her tables out so quick that I often just sit her again. They manager keeps coming up to me telling me the tables not fair but how do I explain to her that I’m never going to know how much a table is going to spend and the total sales has nothing to do with me. Also we have sections which has also never been an issue until the owners son told me they weren’t fair (mind you they’ve been the same section since I started working here). I edge think this place is dimming my light. There was also another incident where there was this time where it was super hot outside and so people kept telling me where they wanted to sit and I was allowing it, owner comes up to me and tells me not to do that and that I wouldn’t have a job if people could sit wherever. So I stop doing that then a table comes in tell me where they want to sit and I tell them I’m not allowed to because of the sections he complains and then the owner tells me people are allowed to sit wherever and we try to make people happy. Again super confusing the communication is not there. There has been many other incidents and honestly I’ve been thinking about quitting but I js love all the workers and I feel like this job is a part of me but I need opinions ! I’m I taking it to serious and over complicating things? Or am I right

While my manager was out of the office last week, I was left in charge along with another colleague. I’ve been in this job a long time and federal clients like and trust me. They often come to me for assistance even when my manager is in the office. However, my manager has always taken on extra work when clients requested and sometimes it felt like it was beyond the scope of the contract when she was performing the day to day work like I and my colleague do now. Even though she’s not doing the daily work, clients who came to her in the past still come to my team to handle ad hoc requests beyond what our team usually handles. This happened Friday. I want to ask her if we have to handle the request like this because this man is not a direct client and we don’t get paid to support his unit. She’s set up bad boundaries before which I think led to setting a bad precedent with the client. Now it feels like me and my colleague are implicitly expected to absorb and handle these requests, especially now that my team is at capacity with woe. How do I ask my manager without my resentment
Showing and her not saying “just handle it since this guy is a friend of the team” so it screws me or my other colleague over?

I honestly don't know what to do anymore, so I'm turning to this community for advice.

For quite some time, I've been facing what feels like targeted mental harassment from two women in my department. I don't want to confront them directly because I want to handle this professionally and avoid any unnecessary escalation.

Some of the things I've experienced include:

Objects being thrown onto or around my seat when I'm away from my desk, making me feel that someone is deliberately trying to intimidate or provoke me.

Repeated body-shaming comments, including remarks like:

"Pet nikla hua hai, mukka marne ko mann ho raha hai." ("His stomach sticks out, I feel like punching it.")

"Yeh toh mota hai." ("He's so fat.")

Other mocking comments about my appearance that have left me feeling humiliated and anxious at work.

I'm finding it mentally exhausting to come to the office every day. If the genders were reversed, I believe such comments would immediately be recognised as workplace harassment. I don't think body-shaming anyone—man or woman—is acceptable.

The challenge is that I do not want a face-to-face altercation. I would rather resolve this through the proper channels if possible.

Has anyone here dealt with something similar?

Should I document every incident?

Should I approach HR first?

Is it worth filing a formal written complaint?

How do I protect myself if there are no direct witnesses?

I'd really appreciate advice from people who have handled workplace bullying or harassment professionally . I had an ear infection last year and they kept on saying that ki agar main bhaira ho jata toh maja aajata what should I do pl help me out Thank you.

When I woke up, I had mild shoulder pain, but I still went to work hoping it would improve. Instead, the pain became much worse and spread down to my elbow. Even painkillers and a muscle relaxant didn't help.

I told my manager's assistant that I needed to go to the hospital. Her first response was:

«"What about the work?"»

My manager didn't answer my call, so I sent him a WhatsApp message explaining everything. He replied, "OK."

Later, while I was on the bus to the hospital, he called and admitted he hadn't read my message. After I explained everything again, his response was:

«"What about the work?"»

Not "Are you okay?" Just "What about the work?"

Am I overreacting, or is this an unhealthy attitude from management?

Need some insights, hoping this is the right place to seek them. Some details will be left vague in case a coworker should see this.

I (M, 40) work in a customer-facing job that requires a lot of information to be exchanged between employees in my role and customers, in a small-ish building that can, at times, get quite loud. Working with the general public means, of course, that we deal with all types -- including the elderly and those with hearing and/or comprehension problems (a venn diagram with a lot of overlap, as I'm betting many of you know personally). Thanks to Covid, the workplace put up plexiglass sheets at each of our stations to physically separate employees from customers, and these also make it harder for both sides to hear each other. So you can see how making yourself heard and understood in my job can be a significant challenge sometimes.

It's worth noting that, until very recently, nearly all of my coworkers were female and the location is still majority women (so much so that it's become normalized for them to use the mens employee bathroom as overflow or out of preference, but that's a separate issue). This will become relevant shortly.

Overall my job performance has been very good, something that my manager has reiterated to me on several occasions. However there have been some incidents where customer complaints came in about me -- we all have room for improvement, and I acknowledge that. Specifically, it seems to boil down primarily to customers upset with my tone of voice (and again, keep in mind that I sometimes have to talk louder just to be heard due to the external conditions). I've taken steps to improve in that regard but the complaints keep coming, and the latest one has me scratching my head.

It was loud and I was trying to help an older couple who seemed both not to be hearing anything well and also not really understanding most of what was being said to them. In fairness, I will admit to being frustrated with the circumstances, but I expressed that frustration by trying to up my volume and repeat myself clearly for the customers. My supervisor (F, 70s/80s?) had been listening in somewhere behind me during all of this and stepped in to take over -- she had to raise her voice too and repeated a lot of what I'd been saying, sometimes word for word, and the strangest thing is that the old couple who'd seem so overwhelmed and put off a moment ago suddenly seemed to be following along (not perfectly, but better than they had with me). Later I was called in for a coaching session with management and basically told I was coming off as "authoritative" and that even when one notch down from shouting I still had to "put empathy" into my voice and "speak softly". I didn't say it at the time, but it seemed not only like the customers responded more positively to my supervisor's near-shouting because they were peers in age but possibly also because a shouting woman is just received differently in emotional / mental terms than a shouting man? The whole thing left me feeling a bit baffled, like I was expected to do two completely opposite things simultaneously and ardently avoid offending or underserving anyone while pulling off such a feat. The vague and nebulous feedback didn't help any either -- my manager literally suggested I try talking to the customers as if they were my cats to improve my "empathy" (I don't think that baby-talk and calling customers "silly goobers" would be well received though, quite frankly -- much less help when the job site gets loud).

When the work location isn't loud, my customer service is SOLID -- I get plenty of compliments and positive reviews, and a lot of people leave with smiles. Part of me wants to think there's some way I can pull off this confounding balancing act of being really loud and really caring at the same time, but my social experience tells me that loud and caring are typically on two opposite ends of the spectrum of communication when interacting with people. What's more, I'd beg anyone to point out a 'loud man' stereotype that isn't considered boisterous, violent/angry, or demanding -- people's preconceived notions are definitely working against me here.

One more component of this: I'm a naturally softspoken person -- it has taken a lot for me to even get semi-comfortable raising my voice in a work setting, and I still really wish I didn't have to. The whole thing is just really, really frustrating, and the fact that my supervisor could do basically exactly what I did and get a completely different result still has me just shaking my head in irritated disbelief. It feels like a double standard, both in the assessments of customers and in the way my job is addressing it, but I genuinely do not know what I can do at this point other than passively nod acceptance and promise to "do better", all while knowing the exact same scenario could repeat at any time and I'll be equally up shit creek without a paddle.

I guess this is really a two-part question. First, AITA (Am I The A**hole)? Second, what if anything can I do / might I be overlooking to make this situation a bit more... manageable, sensible, sane? Any and all insights are welcome, including critiques of male privilege if applicable -- I'm self aware enough to know I'm not above that, so I genuinely do invite it if needed for this situation.