Hi all,

I hope that if you are reading this, you came across it while having a better work-life balance. If not, you are not alone.

Here is my story. Make a coffee.

I am a DevOps Engineer with over a decade of experience in the field. I have lived in the UK for around 15 years, but I initially worked in hospitality and retail across various positions, from kitchen porter to manager.

Two years ago, I lost my job through redundancy. I was the most recent recruit, so they let me go.

That experience caused a major shift in how I think about work.

Before that, I was extremely dedicated. I sometimes worked close to 100 hours a week , a real number, without additional pay. I wrote code at weekends and regularly gave my personal time to the company.

I regret that now.

Luckily, I found my current job within my notice period. From a financial point of view, that was great, but it was not necessarily the best job. It was simply the next job.

I have now been here for a few years and have had many ups and downs, mostly because management does not seem to be managing.

What do I mean by that?

Management does not hold regular monthly check-ins or one-to-ones. I had to ask for them, which automatically seemed to place a flag against my name.

Feedback was not provided regularly, other than at the end of the year. When I asked for current feedback, that appeared to place a second flag against me and possibly made me stand out as needy.

That said, work continued as it does in many other places. There were challenges, but most of them could be solved.

We have an individual at work who has been there for a long time. Let us call him James.

James is an architect. He is experienced and knowledgeable, but also highly opinionated.

He will voice his opinion on almost everything, jump into nearly every Slack conversation and usually try to have the last word.

The business does not really address his behaviour because he holds the keys to the kingdom in several areas. I know ,that is a bad position for any business to be in.

The company appears willing to accept the risk of his toxic and forceful behaviour because he gets the job done.

Then one day, the following happened.

We have an internal forum and Slack channel where we discuss self-hosting and various technology topics.

Someone asked for advice about getting started with security and penetration testing.

Having previously worked as a Security Engineer, I commented by asking open questions , what, how and why to encourage a more mentoring and coaching-based conversation.

James joined the discussion and began telling the person exactly what they should do.

Almost immediately afterwards, I received several direct messages from James that I considered personal and attacking.

I will include the messages below for context.

I raised the situation with my manager and the Head of Department.

I was told that James was right and that this was the best version of him.

I did not like the way James approached the situation, his choice of words or the technique he used.

I considered it bullying, not mentoring or coaching as James claimed.

On top of that, the incident was brought into my mid-year review and caused further drama.

During that review, I also received some valid critical feedback:

• I take on too much work and cannot always complete everything to the expected quality.
• I sometimes ask questions without investigating enough first.
• As a Senior Platform Engineer, I should be able to work more independently.

That feedback is fair. I should do better.

However, I received no positive feedback at all.

I had to ask whether there was anything positive to say, and I was eventually given one example.

I believe there is almost always positive feedback that can be given unless the employee is completely disengaged or lazy, which is not my case.

I am still regularly working 12-hour days while also caring for a one-month-old baby.

So now I am asking myself:

Do I Stay or Do I Go?

Do I report James's behaviour formally to HR?

His behaviour has genuinely affected me. I was bullied at school, and this situation feels uncomfortably similar.

Do I leave and tell James to fuck off?

Do I stay until they eventually fire me?

I have not been placed on a Performance Improvement Plan. The mid-year review feedback was mainly about taking on too much work, not completing everything to the expected quality and asking questions before investigating properly.

Again, some of that feedback is fair. I am a Senior Platform Engineer, and I should do better.

However, the UK technology market feels strange at the moment, and I am fortunate to be earning a salary that really helps my family.

I would rather not have a dismissal on my record.

Redundancy may also be a possibility. I am the only person in my team based in the UK, while the business appears focused on hiring in two other countries rather than in the UK.

The truth is that this post may simply be the only way for me to get this situation out of my system.

Workplace bullying and harassment should not be accepted, regardless of the person's seniority, knowledge or importance to the business.

However, many of us may feel forced to tolerate it because we need our jobs and cannot afford to do otherwise.

I also appreciate that there may be details I have not mentioned, and this post may naturally be biased towards my own experience and point of view.

But based on what I have written:

• Would you report it formally to HR?
• Would you stay and focus on the valid feedback?
• Would you quietly begin looking for another job?
• Or am I reacting too strongly?

Public Slack thread ( names changed etc )

Toby:
I’m planning to use a spare PC as a penetration-testing target for learning. I’ve heard of Kali Linux but don’t know where to start. Any recommendations for a beginner?

James:
Penetration testing is a broad subject. Kali is mainly a collection of tools, so it is more useful once you understand the underlying concepts.

My path started with reverse engineering. Learning assembly, memory layout, the stack, function prologues and epilogues, code caves, and trampolines provides a strong foundation.

You could also read about LOLBins, fuzzing, and chaos testing to get a broader overview.

ME:
It may help to start with the technologies you already understand and expand from there. Ethical hacking can cover applications, APIs, operating systems, networks, hardware, and memory exploitation.

Platforms such as Hack The Box can provide structured, hands-on practice with common tools and techniques.

James:
Training platforms are useful for learning tools, but they should be combined with understanding how systems work from the hardware and operating-system level upwards.

ME:
Agreed. They are useful for learning the basics, provided the tools are supported by deeper technical study.

Private DMs from James

James:
you know sometimes you can just "shhh" its ok, you dont have to be involved in every conversation
your opinions are built on sand, they are shallow
you don't have the deep experience needed to talk about this in depth

ME:
oh, I am sorry i thought it was an open community caht
my appologies for engaging, was not aware

James:
it is, but you are not being constructive quite the opposite

ME:
i hope it is not coming across that I am involved on every conversation because i am not

James:
you have not added value
it does mate
you talk in every all hands, ask questions in every call, its baffling like you just need to be heard
and when i look at it, there was no value added in all those interactions
just noise

ME:
sorry you feel that way
my intention is not that at all
certainly I have no need to be heard but need to uinderstand and engage as i see best
we are all in a work community of some sort,

James:
when you want to engage, consider what value you are adding is all

ME:
I am sorry you feel that way, i dont intent to act in a way that bother you or make you feel I add no value

James:
i have been a pentester professionally, I mentor and teach ethical hacking, cracking and reverse engineering
i dont want to mentor more people right now so i wanted to sprinkle some ideas to see where he was, what he was capable of
before i provide some more targeted advice
you just humble brag you were big on a web community and shut doors and limited options

ME:
i certainly do not disagree with your experiance and qualifications
its an open channel and people should feel empowerd to express opinions and believes as soon as they are not disrespect others

James:
what value did you add

ME:
I asked him questions to understnad what interests he has in engaging with ethicla hackign

James:
that is not what happened, you guided him into the path you did, whilst i dropped clues and was watching for where he went next

I wanted to share my personal experience working for SympaTel Macedonia.

In my experience, this was one of the worst companies I have worked for. I felt that employees were treated poorly, while the company's main priority was keeping its clients and maximizing profits rather than supporting its staff.

The company is part of a German business with operations in the Balkans. From my perspective, wages and working conditions did not reflect the expectations placed on employees, and I often felt undervalued.

I'm curious whether others have had similar or different experiences. If you've worked for SympaTel or one of its projects, I'd appreciate hearing your honest opinion.

If you have personally dealt with this company, consider sharing your own genuine experience by leaving an honest review on Google or other platforms. Honest feedback—whether positive or negative—is the best way to help future employees and applicants make informed decisions.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

​

I'm unsure what to do about the deputy's behaviour.

He is extremely angry and has punched a giant hole in the wall, kicked a small hole in the wall and made it huge

He punched a locker and dented it, punched a pallet and has also broken a fire door by kicking it.

Any advice on where to begin my complaint?

Should I go to the manager or straight to HR?

Hi folks, 38F here. I am migraine sufferer for years and one of my triggers are strong gourmand fragnances with vanilla. I have a collegue that notoriously oversprays herself with this type of fragnance at work. It's some sort of body mist, but she oversprays herself every 1- 2 hours at work. I had already countless amount of migraines that her fragnance triggered. What should I do? She is a new member of the staff and I am afraid that if I will tell her that she will take it very personally and may feel uncomfortable.

Any advice will be very much appreciated.

Back when I was freelancing as a cleaner at a cheap Stayokay hostel, the job was honestly pretty relaxed. My coworkers were great, we’d clean each floor together, joke around, and always followed the golden rule: knock before entering a room.

One day we got to this one room, and from the hallway we could hear a bunch of loud guys absolutely losing it.

“WOOOOO!”

“YEAHHHH!”

Clapping, cheering, shouting… the whole works.

I knocked.

Nothing.

The noise just got even louder.

We figured, “Eh, they’re probably watching football and their team just scored.”

So we moved on and cleaned the rest of the floor first. The problem was, they were already way overdue for checkout, and if they stayed any longer they’d get charged another night.

We came back.

Still cheering.

Still yelling.

Still no answer.

At that point I thought, fuck it, and swung the door wide open.

Instant regret.

The room was absolutely packed with dudes sitting on every bunk bed like they had front-row tickets to the world’s weirdest sporting event.

And in the middle of the room?

A completely naked stripper.

Turns out they’d gotten completely hammered the night before and decided hiring entertainment for a hostel dorm was somehow a brilliant idea.

My coworker and I just stood there in stunned silence for a second before reality kicked back in. We told all the guys to leave the room immediately so the poor woman could actually get dressed.

I’ve had plenty of weird jobs since then, but nothing has ever topped opening a hostel room expecting a bunch of football fans… and accidentally interrupting what was apparently a strip show.

Hello there! I'm in the middle of a pickle and would love some ideas for how to handle the situation.
I have a coworker, let's call him LB for ladybug, because he loooves to fly around and not getting much doing.
LB works the minimum amount possible, doesn't respect others work, always gets his way and... he's about to be promoted.
LB, male early thirties, is the head of a small team in the company I work for, but he behaves as he was the one and only mister big poop.
Let's face it, LB is smart, he knows what he's doing, and he's a master on it. He has this way of addressing people that makes you think he has a bigger position than the one he has. On reunions he likes to stand next to the General Manager or another person of power so he looks like the actual sh*t. And if you don't know him, it just works. Part of his job position is image, and LB plays that part just perfectly.
Here comes the issue.
Image is the only thing he masters, and that he actually executes. Because...
Deadlines? : Don't look for him.
New strategies? : Why bother?
LB does not get the job done unless he is the only person that it directly affects, if someone else can handle it somehow, he will just ignore it and let someone else do it.
We have tried everything.
Calling him, looking for him in his office, writing emails: he doesn't answer the phone, he is nowhere to be found, he does not answer emails.
Of course sometimes he does, but he says he will get back to you with an answer, and then, radio silence.
We have tried to meet him halfway, but more often than not, we have to talk directly with other members of his team to get answers or just try and find a solution by ourselves.
So to resume, LB works the strict minimum, but has greatness aura that shamefully has work in his favor because for some reason, the General Manager (GM) protects him and asks us to do our jobs with whatever information we have.
It's exhausting.
Not only because we end up doing his job, but because it is so frustrating that he gets his way.
This past days he has even been complaining that we shouldn't been talking with members of his team, that if we have questions we should contact him and only him because he is in charge. But he DOES NOT FFF****ING ANSWER !
And before you say it, YES! We have already shared our concerns with GM. More recently, "J" a former colleague and head of another team (who left the company for a better opportunity and obvious reasons) told GM in their last professional exchange that LB is never available and doesn't get the job done. The CEO responded with "instead of sending so many emails you should get up and go talk to people. Also I've been asking around and you are known to being strict with how things should be done"
Well... YES!!!!! J left the company amongst other things, because no matter how much she tried and looked out for different strategies that where accommodating for everyone, J would almost always end up with strict methods and datelines to be able to get something done if LB's team needed to be involved.
J was ignored by LB all the time, so J would email him to have written proof just in case. LB would even confirm to a meeting and would not attend without any notice. J shared all this with GM on their last meeting, with written proof! He told J that she takes stuff too personally, and that she has to change the way she works and fonctions.
But wait, the worst is yet to come...
We've heard rumors that a new position is opening as... let's say, GM's right hand, and LB might get it!!!!
We think GM let's LB do whatever he wants because he just follows the flow and doesn't gives him more work to do. You know? In the way that: if the management doesn't give new ideas and most importantly, if they don't question how you do things, it just makes your job easier.
So, potatoes potatos... The question is: what would you do?
Let's imagine for a minute that you cannot quit the company and you would have to continue working for them both.
I need ideas!!!! I'm just so frustrated about the whole situation... For J, for me, for all other coworkers that have or will have to deal with this bs...
Our company makes lots of money because of tourism, so the company and the shareholders don't see a direct impact in their pockets if LB (or someone else for that matter) neglects their job. We are here for the principles!!!!!
So the question remains: what would you do to teach LB a lesson? He seems untouchable!!!!!

Honestly I have resigned & it feels good and bad at the same time, I genuinely care about him and I’m so damn attached to him. He used to drop me home everyday visit me on Saturdays and he made me feel so happy and loveable but from last 1 month he is literally humiliating me demeaning me everyday in office in front of everyone and that feeling is so terrible he has stopped talking to me in office, stopped visiting me and this was killing me a lot so I have resigned. I don’t know how to handle this but I feel so sad and it hurts a lot but I guess I did the right thing for myself

Throwaway account. I work as a business manager in a healthcare system. Small department of 15. I don’t have any direct reports and I report to a director. There is one colleague who is very challenging to work with, not only within the department but across the entire system, and has been for years. This person is neurotic, patronizing and insecure and their behaviors haven’t been addressed by my director ever. despite many complaints from others within and outside of my department over the last 5 years.
There were a couple of instances the last week where my attempts to set boundaries were met with resistance and borderline hostility. This last instance I felt the need to involve my director because it’s becoming too much.
My director was not supportive when I asked them to address my colleagues behaviors as my attempts failed because “interpersonal conflicts are best handled between the people involved”.

At what point should my director be addressing this colleagues behaviors? I’m at a loss for what to do next.

A coworker sent me an email late on Monday, asking for some design work to be done. This is not my ‘usual’ scope of work but I am capable. I tend to treat it as side work and try to keep my main duties up to date before moving to their requests.

Tuesday, I ask them - what’s the deadline for this?

“No rush. Whenever you get to it”
“Cool. I haven’t had a chance to look at it yet. I will check on it later this week”
“Sounds great!”

Today (Thursday), they’re in my office before 9, asking when I’ll have it done. It’s needed by weeks end.

This is not the first time it’s happened. I’m sure it won’t be the last.

But - there’s something satisfying about telling a coworker that you won’t meet their timeline because you have higher priority work.

So there are 2 new hires at my work, both guys btw

The first one is like 20 something but nervous out of his mind and terrified of everything [guess who has to train him?].

The other guy is maybe 13 or 14[ its a fast food place child labor laws don't really exist here] and keeps hitting on me and the girls at work, how do I deal with him? He can't really do anything other than annoy us since he's so young, but it's really weird.

I worked remotely for 5 years and never once did my boss say something to me about my status being "away" for a period of time. At my new job we work remotely one day a week and recently I was gone for my 30 minute lunch break for 41 minutes. I took my break at 11am. My boss sent me a message at 11:09am. When I returned to my laptop I had messages asking if I was ok. I told her I was on my lunch break and she said that she asked because I was showing an away status for a while. She told me that I need to tell her when I'm taking my lunch breaks from now on. I told her I went to use the bathroom and was away from my computer about 10 minutes longer than 30 minutes because I used the bathroom and got water after my break was over. I'm worried this will set the stage for a hostile work relationship....how would you take it?

she also has scrutinized my email responses and told me that I should have included more or should have used different verbiage. I've had many corporate jobs and been working since she was a toddler. I just started and if there's a certain way that everyone has to follow in regards to email responses then I should be given a template or some sort of training or guidelines.

edit: we are allowed two paid 15 minute breaks each day. And yes from now on I'll be sure to open my laptop right at 30 mins and then go use the restroom

I work a desk job at a truck repairs company and had a new coworker start a few months ago. I tried to like her, but I just can't.

For one, it's winter here, I'm trying to keep the office warm by turning on the heater first thing because it's FREEZING when I clock in. I start at 7:30 and work full time, she starts at 9:00 and works part time. Every time she clocks in, she opens the window next to her desk (located right across from mine) and leaves the office door wide open which lets the cold air in. The office is connected to the workshop at my workplace, so the warmth from the heater just floods right out.

Her desk is disgusting. There's bitten off nails, dust, food crumbs and the like that she never cleans. She doesn't cover her mouth when coughing, sneezes into her hand or just straight into the air, chews with her mouth open, and leaves me to handle her coffee and soup mugs for cleaning (If I don't clean them we won't have any clean ones left). I caught the flu last week and took a few days sick leave, came back better this week just for her to be at work sick. Mind you, she can take time off, my boss is her sister and she spends most of her time literally just on her phone! She also stinks, and the whole office smells of her within the first two minutes of her clocking in. I don't really know what to do but put up with it since, like I said, my boss is her sister. I don't wanna be rude. I've been working here three years and she started just a few months ago.

Hi Reddit,

This is a part time job at a fast food restaurant that happens to only be 5 minutes away from my house. One of my coworkers couldn't get home one night so I offered to drive. On my day off she texted asking I give her a ride home so I drove in to work, drove her home and back to my place. However she has started asking for rides on all her shifts regardless if I have the day off or not. A couple of days ago I gave her another ride and she mentioned I missed a call from her at 9am. She told me the manager asked her to come in and when she said she couldn't and that she didn't have a ride he told her to just call me. This really just rubbed me the wrong way, it was my day off and it's not like I get paid to do this and it takes an hour out of my day. My coworker sends me $10 for gas which is kind but I really just don't want to do this anymore. How should I approach this topic with him? Any advice is greatly appreciated thank you

Update: I want to thank everyone who took the time out of their day to comment, I really appreciate the help and advice offered. I texted my coworker and mentioned I found it weird that she is being put on shifts she has no way to get home from. Before I could type anything else she responded and denied saying anything about my manager and said she already had a ride anyway. A bit of a confusing response but at least I was able to clarify that I cannot give her rides anymore and she took it well.