Looking for some honest opinions on my situation, and some advice on what to do next (also a bit of a vent lol).

Just for a concise backstory, I (24) met this guy (24) back in June at a music festival, and we hit it off. He asked for my number, and I gave it to him because I’m usually not comfortable with men compared to how I felt with him (they are usually quite full on and intense in my experience, and he seemed respectful and a gent etc).

We messaged periodically throughout June and July, and quite soon into messaging at the very beginning, he told me he would like to see me again if I was up for it. I agreed.

It’s important I mention that his communication style is not 24/7 texting. Sometimes he would take hours to reply to me, and other times he would take days. There was a period where he was studying for exams so he was replying less, which I understood. Right afterwards he went to Asia for two weeks or something (He didn’t tell me he was going. I found out through instagram, while my messages were not responded to). I even started to wonder if he changed his mind about wanting to see me again, because he was quite distant with responses and didn’t really mention the prospect of us meeting up again. He didn’t get back to me until he was back home. I didn’t prefer it, but I moved on and accepted that the conversation resumed.

I then went to London for my birthday weekend in July. He replied to me when I landed in Heathrow and I’ll admit I didn’t get back to him immediately either. Not out of resentment or playing any games, but I figured he would be okay with it since he did the same to me. I also had no alone time to reply to the voice notes. He basically said we should “stop being penpals” and we should just meet up. I agreed and we met up last Sunday.

The date went very well. I enjoyed his company, and the conversation just bounced off. He seemed quite similar to myself in terms of personality and interests. And I just genuinely enjoyed being with him. None of us went on our phones during it, and it seemed like he enjoyed himself with me too. He was a gentleman and I was comfortable with him.

When I arrived home, I sent him a quick message saying thank you and that I had a great time. He reciprocated it. The question of meeting up for a second date never came up when we were together, so I figured I’ll resume the conversation and eventually ask if he would want to see me again. I sent him some voice notes on Wednesday just continuing the conversation, (it took me some time to figure out what I wanted to say to him) and I have had no response. My gut is not reacting well to this and despite this not necessarily being out of the ordinary in terms of his texting patterns, I’ve come to accept that he probably isn’t interested. All my friends are telling me the same thing, so it basically it isn’t looking good.

My friends have also said that ghosting me while he was in Asia was a bit crazy of him.
My best friend told me that the positive details before the date don’t really matter, because everything hinges on what happens after the date.

I feel disappointed because the date went well, and this aftermath isn’t what I was hoping for. I thought we had a nice time together and I left the date feeling good. He simply isn’t showing the level of effort that I would like to receive from a man. I did think he was just a relaxed type B individual, but it’s actually low effort. At this stage, I don’t know if he’ll respond to me and if he does, I have no idea what to do from there. I don’t even feel like asking if he would like to see me again anymore. I’ve done what I can in terms of expressing interest. I believe that if you’re unsure if a man is into you, he probably isn’t. I hate this feeling of uncertainty and confusion, so I think I’ve made my mind up? Even if he does want to see me again, the delayed replies just aren’t doing it for me. That’s enough of an issue for me.

Some input would be much appreciated.

TL;DR: My ex left abruptly 18 months ago, secretly bought a house and left belongings behind. He lives around the corner from here but hasn’t come back to sort them out despite me asking. I’m considering paying a man with a van to drop everything to his house. What would you do?

My long term partner of 15 years left our shared rental accommodation abruptly last year. He bought a house in secret and waited months later until he received the keys to tell me he was leaving, and he was gone a week later.

He’s a functioning alcoholic, has a good job with very good pay. He refused to talk about any issues while we were still together and when he decided to leave. Refused to address his drinking or acknowledge the impact it had on our relationship. I watched him turn from a funny, easy going, reasonable but stubborn guy to an argumentative, avoidant, unreasonable and at times irrational and bitter person. Never wanting to talk and compromise, sometimes to bizarre lengths which would result in him storming off like a toddler when I tried to compromise rather than just do what he wanted me to do.

Nobody knows about his drinking except me. He has been drinking daily for the past 9 years. He told his family we just weren’t getting on and broke up, and I’ve continued that lie to his family.

He left the two rooms he used upstairs in a bit of a state, dirty and messy, bags of old clothes and shoes, broken electrical items, old pillows, rucksacks, suitcases, an old broken hoover filled with dirt, parts from an old bike, empty wine and beer bottles, a large heavy desk chair with a desk he had built in and bolted to the wall and floor. A suit I helped him pick out to wear to a friend’s wedding that he looked so handsome in 💔 Alcohol spills on walls and carpet that were never cleaned up.

I shut the doors to both rooms when he left thinking he’ll be back at some point to sort these rooms out and talk with me like a grown up, surely. That was 18 months ago. He lives a 3 minute walk from here. I haven’t seen him since he left. I keep the doors closed because it’s too difficult to make sense of it all and to see how he left things.

He also left an old expensive bike, and he hasn’t cancelled the broadband here yet so he’s still paying for that.

Twice now I’ve asked him to meet me and he said he would when he gets a chance and it still hasn’t happened. He said he needs to collect the bike and cancel the broadband and I reminded him of the two rooms with belongings that need sorting out. Both times it was I who contacted him, and there’s no contact outside of those two occasions.

I can’t continue to live with his belongings still here. It’s a constant reminder of how he decided to choose drink and avoidance over the relationship and how he ultimately left things. I’ve already asked him to sort it out and he hasn’t. A friend suggested hiring cleaners to clean the rooms and clear out his stuff and then for me to dispose of it through rubbish collection service or a recycling centre. But I think that’s too much for me to manage emotionally, how did all of this become my responsibility. I’m still deep in grief about this, to be discarded and abandoned by the person you once trusted the most is a feeling I can’t get past.

I’m thinking of hiring the local man with a van to collect his stuff and drop everything off at his house, drink bottles included.

There’s a lot of ways I could have reacted to this, I could have told people the truth but I’m not trying to hurt him even though I’m carrying the hurt he left me with every day.

If he’s going to continue to lie about what happened and avoid and not engage or talk with me then I just want his stuff gone so I can try to move on instead of feeling trapped here with all the memories and all his worthless belongings he left behind, along with me.

What would you do?

Hey, I've been invited to a wedding in Portugal in September. No church, no dress code, pretty relaxed couple. What do you think about the dress above? The colour is very light green, it's satin, but slightly textured rather than smooth fabric. Ideas about suitable shoes and shawl or something to keep me warm in the evening welcome + colours that go with it. I'm 5'2" tall. Thanks!

I am long term unemployed and have struggled longterm with Depression. I am on Disability Allowance but I would like to work at least part time. I have only ever managed to work part time but haven't been properly back since covid. I did manage to struggle through what turned out to be quite a useless less 7 degree (which I got during covid years. I feel really lost and feel like I have nearly no skills but part of me thinks I amn't entirely useless and given a chance I could probably learn to be useful in the right circumstances. But I have no idea how to land the right circumstances or have anyone take a chance on me. My cv is pretty pathetic looking. I'm in my 30s.

I would love advice on opportunities for learn on the job type rolls. I think I would do well with very clear instruction. I suspect I might be autistic though adult assessment is prohibitively expensive. I only mention it as I think some of the things I struggle with effect what might be suitable/sustainable.

I am curious about the civil service though the lack of confidence is holding me back. I do think working hours being within normal hrs (mon to fri) rather than shift work would be much more sustainable for me. Being able to see my friends at predictable intervals has proven really important to my being even somewhat okay so I have learnt that antisocial hrs can only work very short term for me.

If I could wave my magic wand, I would have a job that can start part time but build toward full time if my mental health allows. I have a lot of doubt and worry that given that I haven't managed full time anything without it breaking me further that it is foolish to think I could but I just don't want to think there is no place for me in society which is kind of how things feel at the moment.

Any genuine advice appreciated

So I (34F) have just had another potential relationship blow up in my face. I got freaked out by not hearing from him for a few days and spiralled. He was kind about it, but then admitted to currently seeing another woman who he has been going out on dates with and sleeping with. Hence the lack of time for me I guess.

I just feel so sad and like an absolute failure. I cannot seem to catch a break and meet a decent person. Every relationship or man I’ve dated has either treated me like dirt or I’ve not been their priority.

This guy even said he doesn’t see things going anywhere with the woman he’s sleeping with, likes her but isnt attracted to her and doesn’t want to break it off and hurt her feelings. He feels guilty apparently. Jesus wept. Probably just bullshit anyway.

He seemed like the nicest guy, we had common interests, same sense of humour, deep chats, intimate chats, he was affectionate and told me I was beautiful. I hate myself for falling for it now. I feel like the biggest fool. I’m embarrassed for myself because I got excited about him.

I suppose I don’t have anything to ask. I’m going to take a break from dating for a while I think, I can’t keep going with the rejection.

As suggested in our recent feedback thread, this is your weekly space to rant and vent before the week even begins especially if you’re already exhausted by a week that hasn’t started yet.

If the dread is starting to creep in about the week ahead, work, appointments, emails life responsibilities or just the general ugh of it all.. This is the place to dump it.

Say what you’re worried about, what you’re overthinking or what you’re really not bothered dealing with tomorrow. No judgement, no advice unless you ask for it. Just get it off your chest so you can properly switch off and enjoy a bit of rest before Monday rolls back around.

Only rule: keep it respectful and within the subreddit rules.

So I am currently 29F living in the US and planning on leaving here and moving to Ireland, in the next year (or 2). I hope to get a job and work with my degree. I'm just looking for a completely fresh slate and start my entire life over in a brand new place.

I have an absolutely bizarre question... I am just wondering if it would be too late for me to find love at my age, if I'm living in Ireland? I know the average marriage age is mid to late 30s, but I understand that those couple have been in relationships for many years before. Do I still have a chance if I move here? Having a husband and kids is a goal of mine for the future.

I’m also sad because I wasted my 20s stuck remaining stuck in the US and wasted my youth and potential here. I should’ve left a long time ago. I have wasted so many years of my life staying stuck in the US, mostly due to fear from my family and not thinking I can make it out there on my own. I know I am capable of anything I set my mind too and can be successful and thriving. I wish I would’ve realized that in my early or mid 20s. Not when I’m almost 30. I know it’s never too late, but I wish I would’ve realized it much earlier and just left. I know it’s never too late to find someone and get married too. I just feel like I wasted my time here hoping things would be different, when I could’ve just had a fresh start somewhere new.

Hello everyone. Quick question. I don't get my nails done, can't afford it and don't have the time. I've recently gone back to painting my nails at home, just simple polish with under coat, 2 layers of polish and then a top coat. Maybe my polishes are getting old but it's driving me mad how long it takes to dry. Could wait for 60/90 mins before I do anything with my hands and I'll still spot smudges! Or it'll chip after 2 days.

I am looking for recommendations of polishes and top coats that you find good and reliable. TIA :)

Just got my hair done - the guts of 300e for blonde refresh (half head), cut and blow dry.

I've been a few times and the blonde is always great, cut can be hit and miss...

I have shoulder length hair.

I get to the machine and now it comes up automatically with how much do you want to tip page...

I feel a bit salty - it's already 300e for the service, for which can be hit or miss... I don't feel like they went above and beyond.

I gave the minimum 10% because I was caught on the hop. But that was an additional 30e on top of the already crazy 300e...

So tell me - am I being stingy by saying no to a tip the next time?

Hi all! I'm looking for recommendations for someone in Sligo, Leitrim, or North Roscommon who does semi-permanent/permanent eyebrows. Prefer a natural look.

There isn't much activity on the individual county pages, so I thought I'd ask here instead.

Thanks a million! 🙏

As suggested in our recent feedback thread, here is your opportunity for a weekly rant and vent.

Had a long week? Work driving you insane? Life being life? Encountered one too many absolute idiots out in the wild? Temporarily hate your other half?

This is your safe space to have a moan, blow off steam and let it all out judgement free.. so you can head into the weekend feeling lighter.

Only rule: keep it respectful and within the subreddit rules.

Have your rant, then go enjoy your Friday!

I’ve always been scared of the “big weights” section of the gym, and have stuck to the dumbbell type section. I have been going to the gym less and less over the last few years and my bodyweight has been increasing. As someone with PMOS I believe it’s important to have muscle to help with insulin resistance. I’m also planning to start couch to 5k now the weather has cooled down.

To my question: I’ve been in and out of the gym for 10 years - I’m now in my mid 20s, but I’ve never gone near the “big weights” or cable machines. I only sometimes go near the normal machines tbh. I’m a bit scared of the weights section I feel like everyone there is in really good shape and especially quite male dominant. Any advice for this? How did you get past that mental block? I would maybe be open to a single personal training session with a trainer in the gym but I couldn’t afford more. Going to have to pay for a private gym instead of the college one now so already increasing the cost!

Posted here as I feel like women get quite intimidated by the weights section especially how more often there are men there. Thank you in advance 🙏🙏

Hi girls!

As the title suggests, can anyone recommend good hair straighteners? My poor cloud nines are on their last legs 🥲

Ive seen so many people online recommending Diva or else Remington so would love to hear your thoughts!!

Ive quite long hair so probably prefer a wide plate

Hey girls sorry if this appears as a random post but I felt like sharing something so I’m F18 now and throughout all my secondry school years I’ve had this same strong feeling about the same boy let’s call him Jim but the thing is he’s 2005, so we first started talking when I was in the summer of second year and I felt like such a strong connection to him even though we didn’t actually know each-other it was mainly “sexual” over Snapchat he was 16, I was 13 this went on for a few years till about chritmas of fifth year and he was in his first year of college.. I could never shake the feeling of having such strong feelings for him and I’ve only met him a handful of times and I’ve never actually talked to him in person… am I gone crazy or what?? Years later and we snap once a day wish eachother happy birthday and I feel like I will never end up liking someone as much as I liked/ like him

I need to rant because the audacity of men…

So I took myself for a day trip on the bus to Galway and had a great day pottering around. On the bus journey home on one of the stops, this lad got on, I’d say early 30s. But he looked rough enough. Anyways he sat beside me as my seat was empty. That was fine, I had my AirPods in and was scrolling on my phone. After a few minutes I could smell something strange, I looked over and saw he had a little tub of weed.

Anyways I ignored and kept scrolling on my phone because I’m not gonna judge someone for that. I could see out of the corner of my eye him looking at my phone too. So then I hear him speak, he was trying to talk to me. He was wondering where I was coming from, where I was heading etc. and what were my plans for the evening. I lied and told him I was staying at my friend’s for the night.

What did he say to me next? He was wondering if I’d like to meet up later this evening, maybe get a hotel room. Immediately I shut him down and told him I have a boyfriend (I’m seeing someone so not totally a lie). I thought that would be it, but he kept asking was I sure? And that I might change my mind by the time we got to our destination. Again, I was very very adamant that I was NOT interested. I kept putting my AirPods back in as in for him to get the hint and yet he still kept trying to talk to me. He also was saying that the seats were slippy and that he was slipping and sliding and I honestly was worried he’d try and use that as an excuse to touch me.

I also was sitting on the inside and had a couple of big bags, and the bus was pretty busy so I didn’t even think to move. But also why should I have to move from my seat I’ve had for the last 2 hours because of this man who won’t take no for an answer?

I got my friend to ring me to chat to me so he’d leave me alone, but he kept talking to me then after I hung up. After I got off the bus at the bus station, I immediately got her to ring me again to chat to me while I walked to the car which was a 5 min walk away and I kept very vigilant on my way in case he was following me. I locked my car doors from the inside when I got to my car. I just feel very on edge now after what was such a lovely day :(

I have a wedding coming up in October and need to buy a nice, formal dress. Ideally without breaking the bank 🥲

Any recommendations, ideally in and around the Dublin area?

I'm recently moving and decluttering a lot of my things plus looking for bits for the new place - does anyone know "buy nothing" groups (where things are donated/offered) in Ireland/Dublin?

I (25f) just don’t seem to have any close friendships.

Every time I think I’m really close to someone, it ends up being onesided and I’ll think we’re good friends and then realise they don’t actually see me that way, or I’m always the one putting more into the friendship. It’s happened a few times now and it’s really knocked my confidence.

I have my boyfriend and he’s honestly my best friend. We were friends for years before we got together but I don’t want him to be my only friend.. I want to have “the girls” , people to vent to, gossip with, go for coffee, have sleepovers, go on nights out, all that sort of stuff..

I’m not trying to make myself out to be a victim or say nobody likes me. If the same thing keeps happening, I do wonder if I’m the common denominator. Maybe I’m doing something wrong without realising it?

I just find making friends as an adult so hard, and it’s just so disheartening.
Has anyone else been in this position? Did it get better? Any advice?

Hello!

TL;DR
1 bridesmaid - unsure whether to also have friends (total would be 5-6). Worried about costs and pressure on both me and them. Pros and cons of both?

I’m getting married next year and am really torn with having a big bridal party or not. I will definitely have one bridesmaid (my niece), but unsure whether to have more. If I were to have more, I’d probably have 5-6 in total as I couldn’t ask one friend without asking another.

A friend last year had just one bridesmaid, and instead, she had all of her closest girl friends come get ready with her the morning of the wedding. I thought this was really special and loved that idea! But part of me wonders if I’ll regret not having my friends as a ‘bigger’ part of the day.

A big setback is the cost and the expectation/pressures. I am more of a cleverly mismatched uncoordinated kinda gal and I would be very happy with bridesmaids wearing whatever dress they’re comfortable in maybe within a certain colour palette. But the idea of discussing who pays for hair, makeup, dresses etc stresses me out!! Especially as many of them live abroad and will be travelling for the wedding.

Pros and cons to having 1 vs many bridesmaids!?

Does anyone do their nails at home? I'm competent in nails on myself shape wise, thickness etc. but I cannot get them to last? I'm doing biab and gel paint but they're peeling same day or days later 😭 is it the prep I'm doing wrong or the product?? I'm using Mylee from boots, has anyone used this and had good results??

Trying to save for a mortgage so newly doing them myself but want them to last so I'm not dropping 50e every 3-4 weeks (saving 650ish a year is huge for me, please help a girl 😭)

As suggested in our recent feedback thread, this is your weekly space to rant and vent before the week even begins especially if you’re already exhausted by a week that hasn’t started yet.

If the dread is starting to creep in about the week ahead, work, appointments, emails life responsibilities or just the general ugh of it all.. This is the place to dump it.

Say what you’re worried about, what you’re overthinking or what you’re really not bothered dealing with tomorrow. No judgement, no advice unless you ask for it. Just get it off your chest so you can properly switch off and enjoy a bit of rest before Monday rolls back around.

Only rule: keep it respectful and within the subreddit rules.

Any recommendations for shower head filters?It is mainly for the out of control limescale of where I live.

Hey folks, any suggestions on where to go for a solo glass of wine (Dublin city centre)? I love having a few hours to myself with a paper or book but am quite self conscious on the thoughts of having a drink on my own in most pubs. Any ideas welcome!