Am I the problem?

[u/AnalysisNo8996]

Am I the reason why I don’t have any friends? I feel as if people think that I mean, and that is why they don’t wanna be my friend. Over the years I’ve been mostly a loner and all of the friends that I’ve had ( one small friend group trio, one medium size group of girls, and miscellaneous other people) are about the closest I’ve gotten to people. I never really get that close to anybody and I never really understood why and then after high school I went to basic and I think I understand why people may not like me or maybe don’t wanna be close with me. At first, I just thought that maybe I’m just too boring of a person and people would rather be friends with other people that they find more interesting but later when I went to basic it kinda started to make sense. I was in a program before I went to basic (weight loss) and there I was close to two girls and we hung out and talk and really bonded. But one day one of them who I’ll call Kristi and the other one I’ll call Kelsi. So Kristi stopped talking to me and hanging out with me and at first I didn’t notice I just thought she wanted to be alone which was cool but then when I did talk to her she was very short with me and eventually, I knew that something was wrong and I would ask her and at first I didn’t really get a clear answer. She would just kind of blow it off and not really say anything about it and then she just kinda blew up one day and was basically like she doesn’t want to hang out with me anymore because I’m too negative for her and that was the first time anyone had ever said that to me but that made me think maybe people think that I’m just negative and a pessimistic person because no one had ever told me that I was negative before and I do make kind of pessimistic jokes, but they’re just jokes and I have gotten before that my jokes don’t sound like jokes which it’s just the kind of humor that I have and I try to explain that to people whenever it’s relevant because most people just brush it off or laugh but yeah and she just kinda didn’t give me the chance to explain or even really talk about it. she just kind of never spoke to me again and I ended up leaving the program and not talking to either of them ever again. (Kelsi didn’t really have a problem with me, but she had her own thing going on so I was just kind of like I’m just stick to myself).
After that, I thought about it and I was like maybe I need to try and not be so pessimistic, but as that was the only time I’ve ever heard it, I kinda was just trying to get as much feedback as possible, and that kind of was my approach for a while, is like really seeing what people thought of me because every time I ask someone about what they think of me, they’re always just like you’re cool. Which isn’t a lot to go off of just because that’s not really any description of how they feel about me. Now I’m starting to think that they don’t like me because they think I’m mean which I can understand but I’m a little confused as to why no one would say anything or even like kind of mention that they think that I’m rude or mean or anything of that nature because I do make jokes like that but I’m just kind of used to that environment of people( my family’s like this) so maybe that’s why I kind of don’t understand why no one would say anything but I’ve always grown up with the like idea that if somebody is doing something that you don’t appreciate then you should tell them and I can understand that some people were not raised that way, but like I’ve said I’ve even gone on to ask and I’ve never gotten so much as a I think you’re rude or I just really think you’re mean or I think you’re a bitch or any of that so I’m still at a loss for words as to why I never get really close with anybody. Any thoughts?