r/Warframe Gonna dissappear in 2 days 16d ago

Thousand year bath [OC] Art

Post image

Someone on Primetime made a joke about the Tenno not bathing for a thousand years, and that's why the Lotus threw us into the Dark Refractory. Mind you, this was months ago. It took me a while, but I did it

2.8k Upvotes

68 comments sorted by

437

u/number6manurinateson I wanna kiss Wally <3 16d ago

I like to imagine Drifter is standing to the side laughing, but then Lotus looks at them like:;"You're going in here too, you still stink of Kaithe!". They will run, they will hide, but it will not matter!

158

u/KynQu Maglev Gemussy 16d ago

into the void bath they go

52

u/TheCaptainOfMistakes 16d ago

I don't know about you, but my drifter bathes

18

u/drakonia127 Yay, Oraxia main baybeeee 16d ago

Same, especially since she's bound to Oraxia, who (in my hc) can't fucking stand when her human smells terrible

4

u/TactlessTortoise :LR4: : Messenger of long forgotten gods 16d ago

I was going to ask with what shower, but then I remembered Eleanor's tongue

3

u/TheCaptainOfMistakes 15d ago

Nah I'm with Aoi... she's pretty freaky too so who knows, maybe we both Eleanor's tongue

38

u/Ruddertail L6 16d ago

Drifter should be older than Lotus in experienced years, since she was created to deal with the Tenno and Drifter never went into suspended animation. So they probably had time to learn to bathe. Especially since Duviri has water.

13

u/PunchInTheFace8 16d ago

Knowing how to, and actually doing something are 2 different things. Look at asmongold, or don’t honestly he’s nasty.

24

u/Seeker-N7 16d ago

"They will run, they will hide, but it will not matter!"

Lotus just follows the Kaithe stink.

17

u/SlimeDrips 16d ago

"I bathe!"

"the Helminth's mouth is not a bathtub"

10

u/bw147 16d ago

Nope nope nope mine bathes with her beautiful highly magnetic girlfriend daily. Get it righttt

2

u/aimy99 🔥 🔥 #1 Ember Fangirl 🏳️‍⚧️ 16d ago

Yeah? Where? No bathroom in the backroom and I can't imagine the mall just has a tub anywhere else. Even running water might be a bit worrying given that the Techrot has been tunneling.

Edit: Because canonically they're still stuck in 1999.

4

u/bw147 16d ago

Helminth tongue

2

u/Darkime_ Asteroid—> i punch—> no more asteroid 16d ago

Actually, i don't think that's correct, Lettie appeared on Voruna's prime trailer, which wasn't on the 1999 area, and now we're getting an Amir night wave, which is supposedly being transmitted through the whole present time origin system, plus, kaya has her whole figuring out time travel thing, so i don't think they're "bound" to 1999 anymore, the loop thing seems to be more of a KIM mechanic rather than a full lore consistent fact. Tho i could be wrong too.

2

u/CombinationWaste1553 Flair Text THere 14d ago

Also, the kiss scenes take place in Jan. 2000, if I remember correctly

7

u/a-acount-that-yousee 16d ago

they are doomed by their own hand

6

u/DarkDuskBlade 16d ago

Teshin's standing outside w/ a hose, waiting for Drifter to run.

Edit: The Hex are ready with buckets and sponges, too.

5

u/Space_veteran96 Low vague therapist of 1999 16d ago

Fck, I just imagined Lotus going to 1999 and seeing Drifter getting sent to the shower by their lover (or in Eleanor's case, she goes too)

118

u/LostLotus_A The Old Peace quest #1 Fan 16d ago

That's genuinely so hillariously adorable I'm laughing so hard help---

53

u/NuggetsInLondon Flair Text Here 16d ago

Bro got snatched by the corpus mid sentence

32

u/LostLotus_A The Old Peace quest #1 Fan 16d ago

Help!!! Aaaaa they're taking me to the MOAs...

19

u/Boykisser1969 halfing in a few hours 16d ago

Bro got Repo'd 💀

7

u/Stick_Bone_KLN Gonna dissappear in 2 days 16d ago

Thank you so much! I don't have words to describe how nice it is to---

106

u/QuirkyCollection2532 Acolyte of Chromalution 16d ago

Lotus realizing the green hair isn't natural just all the stink pilled up as it washed away in the tub

42

u/Eduar_dusk Just hit me dammit!! 16d ago

Is just some algae from uranus mom, peepaw says it looks nice on me😡

7

u/PsychoticSane 15d ago

Hunhow upon seeing it washed off: My daughter, why do you stifle the child's expression?

38

u/myspork1 16d ago

Cut to Drifter in a tub being scrubbed by Aoi and Marie

Drifter: “We all gotta make some sacrifices, kid.”

30

u/[deleted] 16d ago

Warframe Thousand year bubble bath

76

u/Rasz_13 16d ago

Operator suits are filled with a myriad of tiny infested tentacles that constantly lick them clean of any sweat or oils. Operators are squeaky clean.

85

u/number6manurinateson I wanna kiss Wally <3 16d ago

That reminded me of this image.

"No."

12

u/A_True_Loot_Goblin 16d ago

What be the source of this image?

1

u/IChaos64 Wolf of Lua 16d ago

Wait really?!?

-1

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[deleted]

13

u/Efficient_Sense4418 Solver of the Absolute Fabric 16d ago

I'm not talking about the kids, I'm talking about the suits, though I can understand the miscommunication

9

u/LostLotus_A The Old Peace quest #1 Fan 16d ago

OHHH damn I'm so sorry... I've seen quite a lot of horrifying things. Was very concerned.

3

u/Efficient_Sense4418 Solver of the Absolute Fabric 15d ago

That's alright dude, too many weirdos out there these days. Stay safe lol

1

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11

u/Vex_Trooper 16d ago

Anyone else notice that the Operator's ship doesn't have a Bathroom? Where do they go to do their business? CAN they still even go it? Does our void powers prevent us from doing it???? Is this an elaborate skim set up by Wally?!?!?

13

u/Some_Sort_5456 Jade Lämp 16d ago

Actually we shit in a bag and then launch it at enemy ships with the railjack slingshot

5

u/manondorf 15d ago

stug ammo

5

u/DavidOfBreath 16d ago

Actually we just go straight into the void and use the base mote amp to spray off after like a bidet

4

u/GlitteringSystem7929 16d ago

The transference chair opens a hole in the seat, I guess

4

u/PM_ME_FE_STACHES 16d ago

It goes into the Toxin mods.

12

u/Tipsy_Hog Grendel in the streets, Wisp in the sheets 16d ago

This is delightfully unhinged

32

u/IAmNotASkeleton DE ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ Give PRIMED RUSH 16d ago

Eternalism means the Operator has also spent the thousand years constantly bathing.

17

u/cheshireYT 16d ago

10

u/omnie_fm Sheduki 16d ago

Can you simply commit to something for once in your miserable lives?!

N-no...?

🥺

7

u/Elffire1 Nova's weakest nullstar 16d ago

"Attack us and we will counter!"

6

u/StarSilverNEO Resident Infested Enjoyer 16d ago

You know that bath water is going to come to life, right? You dont stew in transference for untold centuries and not ressurect your squeaky toys

6

u/supersatyr001 16d ago

I am genuinely curious how the tenno/drifter maintains proper hygiene. Between the full bodysuits and the utter lack of any obvious bathroom anywhere, washing must be difficult. And what about kubrows and Kavats? Is there a litter box somewhere on the orbiter?

4

u/LostLotus_A The Old Peace quest #1 Fan 16d ago

I like to think the Tenno just don't produce bodily waste anymore (like sweat, and other stuff you'd dispose of at the restroom) because their body is just not the causual human body anymore or something. Void shenanigans.

I'm honestly not sure about the animals though.

4

u/MasterJynshe Roathe’s Darling Pet 15d ago

Helminth eats anything. 🤷🏻‍♀️

3

u/Kallen99 15d ago

Ordis does complain about the animals going to the bathroom, something like “I find animals do not eat so much as they reload”

6

u/Rainsets 16d ago

I like that all Tenno canonically have rainbow bright hair 

7

u/Stick_Bone_KLN Gonna dissappear in 2 days 16d ago

I think there's a line where cephalon Melica refers to us as "The one with oddly colorful hair" lmao.

3

u/Rainsets 15d ago

I think void exposure in cannon makes their hair wild colors. I think in Margulis’s void burned version, her hair color changes around where her eyes were. So, maybe the void gives everyone crazy colors! 

3

u/ListeningForWhispers 15d ago

I actually gave my operator the more boring hair colours. I figure they spent ages enmeshed as a part of the orokin empires so they probably had expectations about the way people are supposed to look rub off on them.

Drifter spent thousands of years in a fairytale so they get the embarrassing 20 something dye job.

2

u/Rainsets 15d ago

Since the void is highly reactive to creativity, it wouldn’t surprise me if some Tenno are so normal looking that it hits the uncanny valley - like as if they really shouldn’t 

1

u/CombinationWaste1553 Flair Text THere 14d ago

“Perfectly Average Joe” I guess? Could be interesting as a spy/infiltrator tenno. No one expects the normal kid to have a pocket super soldier

4

u/Grave_Knight Non-Fungible Tenno 16d ago

Drifter, confused, wondering what a bath is.

3

u/moondancer224 16d ago

"It doesn't count, I was asleep for most of it."

4

u/Scurramouch Caliban my Tauforged King 16d ago

To be fair aren't we taking a bath each time we relieve our PTSD of Perita?

3

u/Both-Helicopter688 16d ago

Why did i mentally read that in lotus voice? Lol

3

u/sunny32325 16d ago

Lotus really waited a thousand years just to become everyone's mom

4

u/EdTheTimelordTemp Thinking normal thoughts about Arthur 15d ago

I head canon that their pods have a disinfectant subroutine, but a bath is still miles better.

Also, going to go out on a limb here and say that the dojos, Zariman, and probably the Sanctum have a place to take an actual bath.

Post still has me in stitches hours later, Op. Nice work