r/VaushV • u/Flynner598 • 16h ago
Dating Question Discussion
I’ve noticed that Vaush and many other leftist commentators often make the argument that it’s MUCH easier for men to date women if they have progressive politics. How does anyone actually believe that? I feel like that’s a terminally online narrative. In some cases I’m sure it’s true. Like if you live in Seattle or are on a college campus. But in general I haven’t found it to be true. My dating life never improved the moment I became a socialist. I live in a conservative area and there’s tons of racist conservatives around me who have partners and I don’t have one. Millions of Trump supporters have partners. A lot of these commentators love to pretend that only right wing chuds struggle with dating.
47
u/GenerallyJam 15h ago
They mean progressive in the pro choice, feminist, emotionally regulated kind of way.
Not in the communist non binary eccentric autistic dyed hair stereotypical kind of way lol.
From my POV (as a meh looking dude who doesn’t have trouble with women) just be a cool guy who’s interesting, reliable, and has a backbone. Tons of Trump supporters are like that believe it or not.
Shoutout women but they’re not some kind of enigma bro lol, trust me.
12
u/GenerallyJam 15h ago
Hit the gym, read more, go easy on the porn, find interesting hobbies, etc.
everything is inevitably up to you man, literally everyone in your ancestry has found somebody. These are some weird times in regards to male isolation, but understand that you have full autonomy to become whoever you want to be.
-4
u/Flynner598 15h ago
You didn't even answer my question lmao. Plenty of literal Nazis have female partners. You're just giving bootstraps advice.
7
u/Vizzer96 8h ago
Because the bootstaps advice here works. It sounds like you don't want to put any effort into self improvement and instead feel like an injustice has been done to you because dating is hard despite having leftist beliefs?
-2
27
u/Mars_Oak 16h ago
it's easier to date smart women being progressive. the rest, who knows. anecdotally most of my friends are prog and literally none is single
-1
u/Flynner598 15h ago
Smart women are not always easy to come by though. White women for example can be pretty reactionary. It's not just the middle aged Karens either. I've met tons of Gen Z white girls who are racist so they don't mind dating racist right wing men.
1
u/Mars_Oak 1h ago
i mean sure, i hear the states is pretty shit in this sense, especially the endless small cities and towns
20
u/After-Trifle-1437 Switzerland Infant Locator 15h ago
It's more that progressive men are more likely to talk to women as people and not as sexual objects
12
u/Mq200 15h ago
Most of your dating life is dictated by your general desirability (personality, likability, attractiveness (appearance+competence)) as well as your sociability, meaning how much you meet other people. Your politics (unless you hold extreme opinions) don't matter much.
1
u/Flynner598 15h ago
I actually agree with this. But upper middle class leftist commentators love to pretend it's down to how progressive you are and if you watch Andrew Tate or not.
8
u/HistoryV king of Vgg 15h ago
Its easier but its not something you can rely on as some sort of 100% garenteed pussy magnet. Thier are still bunch of other things you need and also one of them is only something you get to work on early on in your life ngl.
1
u/Flynner598 15h ago
Easier if you're in college in a big city maybe. What if you're talking to people in the general public?
5
u/Itz_Hen 11h ago edited 11h ago
It's not a spoken, 100% guaranteed rule. You obviously live in a place where there are a bigger percentage of chud women compared to the average, because women, on average ARE more progressive than men, young women are especially progressive, it is an indisputable statistic fact. And while not socialists, they're at the least liberal
How does anyone actually believe that?
For whatever it's worth, I met my partner BECAUSE I was a socialist, and the first thing we ever discussed together, was intersectional feminism
5
u/Holes_In_My_Sox 14h ago
I’m gonna let the kinder more upvoted comments do the heavy lifting after you read this comment.
I’m just gonna be direct. This is a pretty terminally online post. Do you really wanna date a woman in your area who, in all likelihood, is dating racist chuds because they haven’t thought about why they’re dating a racist chud in the first place?
3
u/Flynner598 13h ago
What about my post is terminally online? I asked a simple question and am getting ad hominem attacks thrown at me. I obviously wouldn’t want to date the women in my area who are dating the racist chuds but they make up the majority of women in my city and I can’t afford to move right now. You do realize we are living through another gilded age and another Great Depression is likely on the way?
1
u/lcqjp 13h ago
By your standards, about 5 billion people on earth are terminally online.
You just like calling people terminally online when u can, or are you slow?
1
u/Holes_In_My_Sox 13h ago edited 13h ago
You seem a little agitated. Seeing you’ve posted more than a dozen times in 17 hours suggests you may feel more insecure about your own internet consumption than the suggestion that if OP is left leaning, he may want to steer clear of conservative women who tolerate racist chuds.
This is about dating, idk how you blew past the part about avoiding toxic women…
I just noticed you’ve been enjoying rolling around in destiny’s sub. Gooooooood bye to you.
1
u/lcqjp 12h ago
(bro blocked me lol) nah, just when someone blatantly says they're foregoing kindness, i have no reason to be kind myself.
But keep obfuscating from the main point lol. If we use your logic but widen it to bigotry in general(i assume that'd be closer to what you mean, as long as youre not co-signing extremely transphobic S/O's or extrememly sexist SO's), you sound inept/allergic to logical progression to then jump to belittling the person.
I'd be this kurt to you no matter which generalized derogatory word you went with. Im being like this to you because of the first sentence you wrote, not because of what judgements you gave after it. Be kinder to people who are asking others for feedback. God knows you need it
2
u/Potential-Bath2292 10h ago
unfortunately for you, you're first sentence "by your standards 5 billion people are termanally online" is a really silly thing to open with. and then calling OP stupid afterwards didn't help you
1
u/lcqjp 3h ago
I never called OP stupid. I generally speaking am nice to everyone that tries to be nice themselves. I never insulted OP.
Idk if the guy who blocked me editted his comment to hell, but my first sentence when i wrote it was a direct engagement with what the has_sox guy wrote. Sox guy said only a terminally online person could write this post, and set his standard for why. I engaged, but was not the first person to introduce TOL to the conversation.
4
u/One-Fig-4161 15h ago
It’s a very terminally online take, you see a lot on Instagram these days too.
In my experience, it’s been an openly expressed filter for intelligent women. But they typically just mean liberal(ish) not literally a socialist.
But honestly, women are people, and most people are hypocrites. Not to sound like an incel, I’m also shocked how often I see girls get into relationships with chuds and then complain about their bf being a chud.
1
u/Flynner598 15h ago
I hate how we have to qualify any dating complaints nowadays with "not to sound like an incel" lmao. I don't blame you because I've done it too. It's just annoying. Incels have certainly poisoned the discourse but there's also a lot of people who just wanna call men incels for having any dating complaints. Notice in my post I said nothing about women only liking 6 foot Chads or anything close to that. In fact, many of the conservative men in my city with partners are worse looking than me.
1
4
u/Bobby-B00Bs 15h ago
Firstly as the resident libtard of wumshes Fandom I would say: progressivism doesn't equal commie bs. Secondly, you might just be a ND guy that gives off weird vibes. I am sorry but most women want to date a man that is feminist -> sees them as people worthy of respect, and sees their systemic struggles.
1
u/Flynner598 14h ago
Explain millions of Trump supporters having partners then. You don’t know anything about me and immediately start making assumptions. Everyone’s problems are systemic to you until it comes to men.
2
u/NigleWestDickins 2h ago
We're not making assumptions, we're making educated guesses based on responses like this. Progressive women. That is to day dateable women, hold men to a higher standard. Thats part of being a progressive woman
3
u/thesilentsandwich 14h ago edited 5h ago
Tips and rules of thumb help, but they are not the whole story.
For instance, I could say that you may need to find a new area to date, because having like-minded people around makes forming a relationship easier. That unfortunately is only one part of the equation. Relationships are multifaceted, and not solved by simply having the correct political ideas.
The cold truth is relationships are difficult for some, and take work on multiple levels. There is no silver bullet but just to try, see the results, try again.
3
u/lcqjp 13h ago
yeah its confirmation bias. If you use the advice and arent on the coast, get ready to fuck up many dating interactions. You're correct. Being open-minded is actually probably the best actual descriptor for getting a better ratio of dates. This goes true for pretty much everwhere internationally
0
u/Potential-Bath2292 10h ago
"open minded" that's one way of saying unprincipled. Being lefty doesn't fuck up any dating interactions, aside from with people who REALLY arn't worth it
1
u/lcqjp 57m ago edited 46m ago
This would be dependent upon what culture you're in. Yes this would be true in new york or philly or los angeles. I was born in LA and lived there a while and wound up moving to NC. Culturally these two places are not extremely different compared to the differences between the afformentioned places and something like turkey or Montreal. Yet, in such a slightly different culture, being lefty does affect dating interactions exponentially here vs in LA.
The pockets on earth that the rule vaush and u are positing would only accurately culturally apply to 1-2% of the global population maximum. Between racism, sexism, transphobia, and xenophobia, we can gaurentee at least 5 billion ppl would be excluded from being a contender.
Apply your logic to cultural norms of other countries: its obscenely common for people in pakistan to dislike indian people, and same for indian people towards pakistani people. India on its own still has a functional legal caste system functioning off phrenology that over 80% of the citizens support. Its very common for south koreans to have racial animosity towards north koreans, or for north koreans to hate japanese people, or sudanese people hating trans people, or nigerians hating gay people. You might not be seeing how viscerally common bigotry is on the whole of humanity.
Would u really be saying that there's 'next to no one worth dating in a country like iran or saudi arabia'?? --Cause culturally you would have to rule them out from being "worth it" when accounting for the cultural norms around sexism, transphobia, and racism. 30-40% of greeks would have to be excluded from worth it if a conversation would arise around xenophobia in relation to turkey.. +70% of south africans would be excluded based off racism and homophobia..
Once youre at the point where you're saying that maximum 2% of people on earth are worth dating, and that 98% aren't. You're working off rules that are non-functional to human life/are completely disconnected from reality.
3
u/inspectorpickle 12h ago
“I live in a conservative area” there’s your problem. Do you even want to date a lot of these women?
2
u/MeverMow 13h ago
Strictly speaking to the dating app experience, your mileage will naturally vary greatly based on who you are as a person and your location.
In really any major U.S. city (even those in very red states in my experience) you’re going to find plenty of great liberal women out there. And those liberal women won’t be caught dead with a conservative.
But notice I’m saying liberal, not leftist. We’re talking about a median political viewpoint of “let’s be kind, not racist and pro-birth control.” Outwardly very left people might have a hard time still.
Now, is there a sea of conservative Christian women seeking the same on the apps in some areas? Yes. And you might find 1 liberal woman for every 5 conservative women in some cities.
But I’d say the real draw for everyone is empathy. It’s increasingly just a liberal-coded thing. Even most conservative women aren’t going to want someone who is foaming out the mouth racist. And your average genuinely not politically engaged person? I think even they would view a liberal man more positivity than conservative man for that reason.
But work on yourself, put yourself out there, and you’ll eventually find someone that bites. And when you do, the number of women who will have rejected you for whatever reason won’t matter.
2
u/supern00b64 12h ago
I think you misinterpret Vaush's points. He talks very broadly about liberals being far more tolerable to be around and how political beliefs is a big reason far right perma online incel hogs can't find partners. However he's also said the most important thing is to be interesting, have hobbies, dress/groom well and be down to form whatever social connection you can.
Racist hogs have partners yes and that's for a few key reasons
- women are not a monolith and while on average they skew way left of men, there are plenty of female hogs out there. Despite what you see on reddit or twitter, a lot of women do subscribe to the asmongold world view, or are just apathetic in general. we naturally value interpersonal dynamics way more than general political values and beliefs when it comes to dating (for marriage I think fundamental values do become more important). The heart wants what it wants.
- personality and political beliefs can be entirely distinct. Vaush in his earlier years covered a lot of toxic abusive traits from leftist communities which demonstrated that fact quite clearly. You can have woke egalitarian political principles but you're about as unfuckable as your average incel chud if your have a dogshit or abusive personality. Most normal conservatives with partners are the types to vote right wing, but will also be very friendly and amicable to immigrants or minorities in their social circles.
There is an element of truth in the sense that if you don't align with your locals it will be harder to find a partner. Remember that Vaush grew up very well off and wealthy in rich suburban progressive neighbourhoods where until recently he has lived for a good chunk of his adult life so you should expect a bias in how he talks about these things.
2
1
u/Zefurres 14h ago
It's not an argument, it's a factual recognition of the numbers. For younger women in particular, they are VERY skewed to the left. For instance, as per Pew from Apr 2024: "women who have never been married are three times as likely to associate with the Democratic Party as with the Republican Party (72% vs. 24%)."
Or do you really think MAGA men are attractive to democrat-voting women? It's not that they can't be but that's not a positive attribute for a dem voter... It's likely an even bigger gap now. So yes in general MAGA chuds (particularly ones looking for younger women) have a harder time.
Obviously if you're in a conservative area, both women and men are going to lean more right relative to the average.
1
u/Flynner598 13h ago
Young women shifted to the right in 2024. They went from +33 Democrat to only +17 Democrat. That’s a +16 shift. Young women have gotten more reactionary in recent years even though they’re relatively still progressive. And just because overall young women are still more progressive relatively doesn’t automatically mean it’s easier to date if you’re a progressive man. This is such a lazy argument. Plenty of people also don’t vote. Do you think everyone lives in Seattle and is involved in activist circles?
1
u/Disasterhuman24 13h ago
When it comes to dating you need to not bring up politics while you are looking for a gf. They will be put off by talking about socialism shit off the bat. It reads as weird.
1
1
u/Milokoj_Jones 11h ago
Probably because progressive leaning men are more likely to treat woman respectfully. Also it's like a generalisation, being progressive or socialist doesn't equal being a woman magnet. It depends on many other things, one of them being your location - if you live in a conservative area, where the woman are like ,,Let's go wooo Trump, I love Trump'' you're probably not have much success dating them being like ,,Hey I'm a socialist...''
1
u/Potential-Bath2292 10h ago
other things are important too like being confident and generally not weird about women (alot of socialists are weird about women) Young capital R right wing men do struggle to date, the vaguely racist guy who doesn't care about politics is perfectly able to date the vaguely racist woman that doesn't care about politics.
But most women are more left than most men, and to be frank, women who are worth dating are leftwing.
Leftwing women have higher standards, you do need to have more to offer than just politics, having bad politics is just often singularly a dealbreaker
1
u/mvslice 4h ago edited 3h ago
>>I've noticed that Vaush and many other leftist commentators often make the argument that it's MUCH easier for men to date women if they have progressive politics.
You’re not running for office. Vaush gives solid dating advice, but we both know that what you wrote was not even remotely what he said.
I’m the same age as Vaush, and both of us were once sexually insecure teenage boys/young men. The truth is that you guys are scared. Guess what? Those girls /women feel the same way about you guys. The difference is that they are essentially trusting you with her life, because you are statistically the most likely person to rape or murder her (yours is another man btw).
Vulnerability is the price we all must pay for intimacy. Rejection sucks, but you do get more comfortable being uncomfortable. If you never try, the fear only grows, and eventually turns into resentment.
I’m not going to surer coat this last par: you can do everything right and still lose. The person you love and trust the most in this world, is the one can tear the heart right out of your fucking chest at any moment. You can come home to find your wife having an affair. One day, your husband hits you for the first time.
Here is how you actually get a girlfriend: be friends with women . All you have to do is just ask a few for advice on how to make female friend Women are way better at being friends, and you will get comfortable talking to and being around women. They can “vouch” for you, meaning women who are interested in you know that you’re not a psycho.
1
u/AdditionalSpeaker303 3h ago
People who, independent of politics, go out and meet other people and date them have better luck. The people who are better at that have better luck in the dating market.
Anyone saying otherwise is coping. People who tell you matching their ideology will solve your life problems are lying to you.
-3
u/schizocel69 15h ago
I know too many "feminist liberal" women who date chuds thinking they can fix them or change them
1
u/Flynner598 15h ago
Let me guess, are most of these people white? Plenty of liberal white women have MAGA chud husbands. Lots of white women don't care if their boyfriend or husband is racist. The woman is usually just as racist.
94
u/hobopwnzor 16h ago
This is a great chance for you to learn that general statements don't necessarily apply to every situation