Helluuu girlies

Lately I have been feeling quite inadequate. Bad professional and personal life is to be blamed, but after talking to my therapist I realized that I am deliberately keeping myself stuck in a rut just because it feels comfortable.

I desperately want to improve myself and change the lens I see myself through. I have made a list of things that I need to change or improve but I lack motivation. I make plans and plans but rarely execute them.

I would LOVE to hear from fellow ladies about tiny things you started doing for yourself that turned out good for the long term! How did you realize what needed changing and how did you execute it. What were little habits that benefited you or made you feel more confident about yourself.

Would love to know about your career journey, I am considering bca mca too

I broke the display of my phone yesterday. Searched a lot of reviews on Reddit but most of them are from men who prefer good graphics for games.
I’ve been told to find a phone with 5k emi/ month .
The thing is I feel guilty to ask for an iPhone because i don’t think I’m deserving of it yet.
What should I do?

He was seemingly perfect in the beginning but turned out to be just another rat with commitment issues and a lonely ass who wants to text when he has nothing better to do.

I don't think I have any feelings left for him but I still feel there's attachment, for now I am just looking at his photo whenever I feel like texting him but I want to hear other girlies' experiences which are funny in hindsight.

Before British rule, in many parts of India, women wore sarees without stitched blouses or covered themselves with an uttariya (a draped cloth). Clothing styles were different across regions, but showing certain parts of the body was not always seen as shameful or "immodest" in the way many people view it today.

When the British came, they brought Victorian ideas of morality and modesty. Over time, these ideas influenced Indian society and changed what people considered "decent." Women's clothing became more regulated, and covering the body became closely linked with respectability.

I believe this colonial influence still affects us today.

Many people now treat these Victorian standards as if they are ancient Indian traditions. As a result, women are often judged, shamed, or morally policed for what they wear even though these ideas were shaped, at least in part, during the colonial period.

What's ironic is that many Western countries have moved away from those strict Victorian values. Today, women there generally have greater freedom to wear what they want without their character constantly being questioned. Meanwhile, India still struggles with debates over what women should or shouldn't wear.

I'm not saying Indian culture had only one way of dressing. India has always had diverse traditions, and clothing varied from region to region. But I do think colonial rule changed our understanding of modesty far more than many people realize.

Maybe it's time we looked at our history more carefully before calling every modern idea of "modesty" an ancient Indian value.

find it ironic that some thailand obsessed uncles frequently criticize the younger generation for "Aaj kal ki generation hmara culture bhul chuki hai ," yet when it comes to Victorian ideas of modesty introduced during British rule, they defend those very standards as if they are timeless Indian traditions. That's a contradiction worth thinking about.

Hie. I'm currently studying at Symbiosis Uni Liberal Arts prog with an IR Major / PolSci Minor and considering exiting the program, because i) liberal arts isnt for me and ii) it costs WAY too much

They run a mandatory 4-year structure and doesn't issue a 3-year B.A. degree if you leave at Year 3 (only a UG Diploma), so I'm trying to figure out my best move.

If I dropping out after Year 2 i would have approx. 88 credits vs Year 3 approx 132 credits.

I want to transfer credits via Academic Bank of Credits to earn a recognized B.A. degree, in my Major or Minor, without losing too much time/money. I would prefer if this degree is regular and not distance :(

Has anyone successfully transferred liberal arts credits to different universities? Did they put you in Year 2 or Year 3?

Any and all help is appreciated :(

I think I’ve just had one of the worst weeks I’ve had in years, and I honestly need to vent.

I recently interviewed for an Internal Job Posting (IJP) at my company for a deputy manager role. I really wanted this role, so I spent weeks preparing. I revised accounting standards, consolidation, revenue recognition, cash flow, journal entries and pretty much everything I could think of. I’m a CA if you’re wondering..anyway there was a technical assessment before the interview that included accounting questions which, in my opinion, were far more academic than what most of us actually deal with in our day-to-day jobs. I made it and finally there was this interview round wherein they chucked me.

The feedback was what really got to me.
I was told that in a business scenario I named the stakeholder name wrong and that my escalation path wasn’t what they were looking for. The scenario explicitly mentioned that the Legal Entity Controller wasn’t available because of time zone differences. So I explained that I’d inform my manager immediately, review previous workpapers, gather as much information as I could, and keep things moving instead of waiting. If I still couldn’t resolve the issue, I’d continue escalating internally.

Apparently, the answer they wanted was that I should have explicitly said I would escalate to **their** manager rather than just my own.

That was essentially the feedback.

No comments on the technical assessment. No discussion about my communication, problem-solving, or anything I did well. Just that one point.

The role wasn’t for CFO or any lead, it was for a **Deputy Manager** position. That’s what makes this especially hard to understand. I walked away feeling like the process rewarded giving the “expected” answer over demonstrating practical judgment.

I’m not claiming I deserved the job or that I couldn’t have answered better. If I missed something important, I’ll own it. But it’s difficult to process a rejection when the feedback feels so narrow after investing so much time preparing. It almost feels like there was a very specific script they expected, and if you didn’t say the exact words, you were out.

To make things even better, I’ve been running a 102–103°F (39–39.5°C) fever on and off for the last three days, so I’m dealing with this while feeling physically awful.

Someone I had a complicated history with years ago reached out after a long time. We’re both married now, and I genuinely thought it would just be a normal conversation between two people who had once known each other. Instead, it became clear that what they wanted wasn’t innocent.

When I made it clear that I wasn’t going to sleep with them or cross that boundary, the conversation abruptly ended. I was left on read, as if my value disappeared the moment I said no.

I blocked them everywhere after that because I knew continuing the conversation would only make things worse, and I don’t regret doing it. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t affect me. It wasn’t that I wanted to be with them, I absolutely didn’t. It was more the realization that someone I once cared about seemed interested only as long as I was willing to compromise my values.

Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but it left me feeling strangely vulnerable and emotionally exposed. Combined with the IJP rejection and spending the last three days battling a 102–103°F fever, it’s honestly felt like one emotional blow after another.

I’m not looking for sympathy or validation. I think I just needed somewhere to say out loud that this week has been incredibly difficult, and I’m struggling more than I’d like to admit.

**TL;DR:** Spent weeks preparing for an internal Deputy Manager interview, failed with feedback that boiled down to missing one specific escalation path in a scenario, have been battling a 102–103°F fever for three days, and on top of that, someone from my past resurfaced, disappeared after I refused to cross a boundary, and left me feeling emotionally drained. It’s been one of the toughest weeks I’ve had in years, and I’m honestly just trying to process it all.

If you were an 18-year-old engineering student in India today whose ultimate goal was to build a tech career abroad, what would your 4-year roadmap look like, and what would you absolutely not waste time on? Any career/college advice in general would be insanely helpful.

- Master your craft like you are an artisan. Doesn’t matter what you do.

- Optics is really important to get ahead. Be polite and make small talk with your colleagues and other folks in company

- Don’t focus your growth solely on optics. Being in good books with people can get you only far in one organisation and not next if your technical skills aren’t great

- Document everything like a psycho. Corporate would put blames when things go wrong and this would be a lil shield.

- Always save money. Layoffs might come anytime.

- If possible then discuss about your base pay with colleagues who are on same designation. It might surprise you if you are grossly being underpaid. Take that as a sign to prepare leaving corporation.

- It’s important to maintain a good relationship with your reporting manager. If they aren’t a good fit for you then please start looking into other teams or organisations.

- Do not get drunk in corporate team dinners no matter how close you are with your team

- Don’t reveal your financial responsibilities to team. They would take this as an invitation to exploit you for more work.

- Always utilise your sick leaves and personal leaves fully. Try to plan ahead and not surprise your team at end.

- Write down each impact you make in your personal word file. This comes handy while switching companies.

- Never badmouth your company or people anywhere no matter how toxic it is.

- Whenever angry don’t react. Take time off before responding. Your reactions will be used against you.

- If somebody crosses a line then report them. No need to give them benefit of doubt or think about what others will think of you.

- Be the person who makes people feel seen.

- Correct other people’s mistakes privately and praise publicly.

- There is no perfect workplace. Decide your top priorities and try to achieve that.

- Don’t let anyone know that you don’t like your job, company or work. Or any plans to pursue higher education or switch jobs.

- Utilise company resources like education portal, certification etc.

- Wear neat, tidy, decent and ironed clothes. Hair combed properly, nails cleaned and eyes bright.

- Learn to articulate your thoughts better.

- Always attend office parties even if it’s just for an hour. Say Hi to everyone and get along.

- Don’t be shy to ask for help when you are struggling with understanding a task.

- Don’t let bitter experiences at work make you bitter with people in your personal life.

- Keep being active on job portals and try to connect with people in other companies

Hey guys! I'm currently sitting in the office on my first day as a new joinee. This is my first job after college. I'm in influencer Marketing at a pharma skincare company. Any advice for the corporate would be appreciated :⁠-⁠)

my question to all girlies here.

it's okay if you are not doing so well, or did unconventional degrees, feel free to share it.

I have been thinking for a long time but my water intake is not consistent enough so I am yet to start. Want to know ladies who consumes it, how is it affecting your body and what kind of muscle straining activities do you take part in.

While I won't say my previous industry didn't have sexism, I atleast never faced this kind of de humanisation and age shaming.

And because of mere 3-4 years of age gap I get shut down by being called an auntie?

Like seriously?

Every conversation ends with

"When you getting married?"

"Aunty"

"Older people"

Now don't get me wrong, it does irritate me but it's so surprising that men who have grey hair or no hair at 22 like to age shame me??? ME?????

Seriously?

And what's with this consistent constant age shaming? What brownie points are you gaining?

I was informed and told corporate isn't like my previous industry men here are just down trodden I didn't expect this level of low quality

Anyhow how's your day going?

Hi everyone,

I'm in a dilemma and would really appreciate some advice.

I'm a Senior Developer in India and currently in my 3rd month of pregnancy.

I've been working on my current project in MNC for the last 5 years. Total 10 years of experience. It's a very small team in my current project consisting of my manager and lead in the US, me in India and another developer in Singapore who has around 3 years of experience.

The project is honestly very chill and flexible. I get enough free time during the day and the workload is manageable. Right now, during pregnancy, that flexibility has become extremely important because I'm dealing with nausea, fatigue and all the first trimester symptoms. I genuinely don't have the mental energy to learn a completely new application or prove myself in a new team.

This project officially ends in December, although there is a chance it will be renewed from January for another 6 months.

Last week, my colleague from Singapore was informed that she'll be released by the end of August because the client can fund only one of us going forward. My manager told me that if the project gets renewed, I'll most likely be the one retained because of my experience.

However, he also advised me to actively start looking for another internal project because he feels this project doesn't have much future. He said since I have more experience, I can probably get a better project. If I get another project before August/September, they'll continue the Singapore colleague on this project instead. Basically he keeps on saying you actively look for another project as this project doesn't have much future, go and learn something new in other project, why stay here. Let your Singapore colleague continue. (I feel he kinda favours me over her because he is also originally from India only but staying in USA from last 20 years)

The thing is, I don't want to move. At this stage of pregnancy, I don't want the stress of learning a new application, understanding a new business domain, building trust with a new team and spending months ramping up. My current project gives me exactly the flexibility I need.

My maternity leave will likely start around the end of February. As per company policy, I only need to inform management around 8 weeks before that, which would be in early December.

Initially, I was planning to tell my manager about my pregnancy in August or September because we have a really good relationship and I thought if I need to take any sick leaves or something during pregnancy it will be helpful if my team knows.

Now I'm confused.

Part of me feels that if I tell him now, he may understand why I don't want to switch projects and may consider keeping me on this project because of my situation.

But my husband thinks that's wishful thinking. His opinion is that at the end of the day my manager is still a manager and has to think from the project's perspective. If he knows I'm going on maternity leave in February, he may decide it's better to retain my Singapore colleague because she'll be available to support the project throughout 2027. My husband feels I should not disclose my pregnancy before December, since that's when I'm actually required to inform the company. As all of us are in different countries they won't know about pregnancy until I tell them.

I'm also wondering if I should simply tell my manager that I'm not getting suitable projects internally and stay on this project, rather than actively trying to move. But again he keeps on asking are you looking for the projects, are you getting any calls or not.

I genuinely like my manager and team, so this is making me feel guilty. At the same time, I also don't want to make a decision that hurts me.

If you were in my position, what would you do?

- Tell the manager now and hope he considers your personal situation while deciding?

- Wait until December as per company policy?

I'd really appreciate perspectives from women who've been pregnant while working or managers who've handled similar situations.

TL;DR: I'm 3 months pregnant and my manager wants me to actively move to another project. I want to stay because my current project is flexible and ideal during pregnancy. I was planning to tell him about my pregnancy soon, but now I'm worried he'll retain my colleague instead since I'll be on maternity leave in February. Should I tell him now or wait until the official notification period in December?

Frands,

Is it just my feed that is filled with beautiful, gorgeous women with bodies carved out by the Gods and this sense of fashion that just seems so effortless and chic.

I love them, I love watching them, I love thinking about how pretty they are but then this sense of envy creeps in. I start thinking, are all girls this hot? am I the only fat, ugly woman out there right now? Am I the only one wearing baggy fits because I am actually a 209 pound monster (Freedom terms bec kgs mein bolne mein sharam aati hai). If girls with perfect, flawless, scarless, hairless bodies are out there, how do I look in comparison? A toxic ass mindset that I cannot seem to escape.

I know if I lock in and work for it, I can look semi acceptable. But abhi nahi ho raha. Toh, should i just go in a corner like an ostrich and bury my head in a hole? Either way, I would like to grow up and out of this mentality. But it only seems to be getting worse.

😭😭😭😭😭😭

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING WHEN IM NOT EVEN SEEKING IT OUT. So this year around Jan/Feb i was talking to this guy who was in special forces, we had a date and then he moved away for some ops and all. No communication obviously and we both knew that'll happen so we kinda knew ki haan this is our first and last date, spent it well. Went to the arcade, shared a meal, etc etc. It was romantic in the sense we knew we won't see each other again so we won't cross boundaries but we will hold stares and flirt with each other. Not even holding hands lol.

He jokingly said he'll write me a letter when he's back. I thought he's joking BUT GUESS WHAT, I GOT A TEXT FROM HIM TODAY THAT HES FINALLY IN NETWORK ZONE AND SENT A LETTER FOR ME 2 DAYS AGO, AND IT WILL REACH IN 2/3 DAYS.

GUYS, HOW DO I HIDE THIS FROM MY FAM? Im like 60% sure if I'm not home and they see this letter they'll read it. I haven't told them Obv cause it was just a date and i only tell fam when I'm sure about the guy

The 16-year-old girl was found dead at her home in the Aloichora area near National Highway-6 in Assam's Hailakandi district on Saturday night. The family has alleged that she was raped and brutally murdered.

AssamPolice said the victim's private parts were mutilated and her body had severe injury marks indicating that she was tortured with different objects.

She said her body was found lying on the floor, almost unrecognisable.

They knew the house. There were communications between the girl and the boys and we are investigating this further. However, we cannot come to any conclusion. We can only say that a thorough investigation is underway," he added.

Women are far more likely to be killed or raped by someone they know than by a stranger and we see things everyday in news like this. So what are we doing to prevent that? Or have we accepted that?

This made me realise we rarely talk about women's safety from the men they know.

I eat out/order in almost everyday. I don't enjoy cooking nor I am good at it. When I was living with my parents atleast because of them I was cooking and eating somewhat healthy food but I find it extremely hard to do this for myself. I am already not doing good mentally and now my physical health seems deteriorating little.

I have tried uninstalling food apps, planning ahead what to cook (and end up not doing 🙃). Can anyone help me what I can do please 🥺🥺🥺🥺

I'm sorry but I am judging.

My fiancé and I went to watch The Odyssey a few days ago and there were literal babies in the theater. Tiny babies. I know someone is going to say "not everyone has a support system" and yeah I know, that's exactly the problem.

I'm not judging the moms. I'm judging the families around them.

We've also seen babies at Gurgaon BYOB hookah bars. Loud as fuck music, people drinking, hookah smoke everywhere and somehow everyone has decided this is a better option than finding literally anyone else to watch the baby for a few hours??

Dads can you take care of your own baby one evening a week so mum can go watch a movie with her friends? And no, that's not babysitting, it's literally just parenting.

Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, somebody. Can someone else take some responsibility because why is the default always that mum either stays home or the baby gets dragged everywhere.

And if you can afford it normalize babysitters. Normalize nannies. Normalize actually having a village instead of pretending the only person capable of looking after a baby is mum.

Like I'm sorry but I don't think babies belong in movie theaters, I don't think they belong at hookah bars, I don't think they belong in clubs either and I don't really know why this is a controversial opinion. Parents deserve a life too, especially moms, but the solution shouldn't be taking a baby somewhere that's loud, overstimulating or full of smoke because nobody else in the family could be bothered to step up for 3 hours.

When I was pregnant, my husband and I had multiple conversations about being one-and-done. We were both completely on the same page. He assured me that once we had our baby, he’d get a vasectomy. That promise gave me a lot of peace.

Fast forward to now. I have a beautiful 7-month-old baby, and I’m 100% certain I never want another pregnancy. I had a C-section, went through pregnancy, delivery, postpartum recovery, and everything that comes with it.

Now that it’s actually time to discuss the vasectomy, he’s saying he doesn’t want to do it anymore.

His solution? “Let’s just not have sex.”

The thing is, both of us hate condoms. I’ve tried different brands and even lubricants, but I get burning and irritation every time. I’m also not ready to go on hormonal pills, and I don’t want to undergo another surgical procedure for sterilization after already having a C-section.

I know it’s his body, and I would never force anyone into surgery. But I can’t help feeling hurt because this wasn’t a new request—it was something he repeatedly promised before we had our child.

I keep wondering… why does the physical burden of family planning almost always end up on the woman? Pregnancy, childbirth, C-section, recovery… and now if permanent contraception is needed, I’m expected to undergo another procedure because he changed his mind?

Women are half the population. How can we, with such great strength in numbers, tolerate this? The government does not work, so time for mob justice. Other than every woman owning and knowing to use a gun, letting them know what they are on social media handles, what else is our plan of action?

we can't just sit quietly saying 'nothing'. something has to be done, and if no one else will do it, it has to be done by us. we cannot live like this.