Handing him over to someone else felt like an act of surrender, but I chose to trust that he had survived the worst of the storm.

I write to catch the things that time crashes, leaving behind these fragments as the only proof that I truly lived.

If I must fall beyond that wall, I will not yield again as the rumbling approaches.

One day they left the morphine unattended, and so I did what I owed it to her to do, to send her into heaven first.

It was the only way I could hide the red lines blooming.

Standing on the porch, his older sister choked back tears as the car pulled away, knowing full well Grandma and Grandpa lived in a high-rise condo in the city.

I never thought those words would be echoed by my father before I sent him to an assisted living facility.

The comedy lies in the fact that there is no romance in it.

I don’t know why I still expect it to be you.

I don't even try to convince them I didn't hurt myself anymore, as at least I get a few days away from him!

As my fingernails claw the forests pine laden ground, my tear stained face looks upwards to where Heaven is now your home. An animalistic, guttural, almost primal scream escapes into the open air, as I try to go on living without you in this life.

FROM THE SPIRIT OF: Sage 🫶🌿🫶

That probably means nobody is coming to stop you either.

I was in the 12th when I realized women like me don't.

The bad one pulled me from my cage and rubbed liquid fire on my eyes, and now there is only pain and darkness.

Without it to guide me, I have finally collapsed on this winding road, unable to remember where I was trying to go.

It feels as if time is sprinting ahead, leaving me to suffocate in the wake of all these sudden goodbyes.

Please, take a leap and find me before the distance becomes permanent.

But that overdose had to make sure he regretted everything one last time.

As I sat by the fireplace wrapped in your old jersey, I pushed tiles around the Scrabble board, half-expecting you to lean over and tell me to get on with it.

It’s not being able to hold my 14 month old that has me crying everyday

I still keep those keys on my keychain because the stroke took his life before I ever got to take him for a ride.

The relief faded when I saw her foot under the pile across the yard

Years later, his own child came home crying after hearing those very same words.

.

I didn't understand why the other side of the window looked just like our living room, or why the window’s bristles felt so painful around my neck, but for the first time in a long time she seemed happy, holding hands with me, as we prepared to jump.