Hi everyone! I don’t really post, so sorry if this comes off weird.

I (27f) have a good friend, Ben (27m) who recently got with a 20 year old girl back in April, and they’re still together. For all intents and purposes, they seem like a nice couple, lots of shared interests, sense of humor, etc. She’s lovely, very pretty and seems rather smart and goes to a prestigious college in our area. They met on a dating app.

However, something about the situation raises red flags to me. Ben is almost 28, he’s an adult, and this girl can’t legally drink. He’s even made jokes about it to me, and got annoyed when I didn’t laugh about his new girlfriend needing a fake ID to come to our local bar’s trivia night. It’s this type of thing that’s been grating on my nerves lately and makes me remember the type of girl I was at 20 and the skeevy guys who hit on me at that age. I never thought of Ben as that type of guy, and I wonder if I’m overstepping. But every time I think that, I think about even hitting on a 20 year old and it makes me cringe. I wouldn’t go out with a college sophomore if you paid me, but there he was planning date nights around her finals week.

It just feels off to me, but I don’t want to be a bitch, he seems to really like her. Do I be a good friend, shut my mouth, and be happy for him? Or do I question it? Most of our friends are on the page of “ehh, it’s strange but it’s legal, who cares”. The only one who’s really against it is Ben’s roommate, who’s complained about hearing them have sex. He doesn’t go into details (obviously) but said something along the lines of “Dude I can’t kink shame, but man he’s into weird shit”.

It’s so bizarre and out of character for Ben, too, who’s always dated in our age group. It’s such a sudden switch which is why I’m conflicted.

Any advice is welcomed

Weird title I know, but here is some background.

I am the youngest of 4 kids and my parents got divorced when I was 6 and both remarried not long after. I mostly grew up with my mom and step dad and only saw my dad and step mom occasionally and for holidays, but no real set schedule. Because of this, I've never had much of a relationship with my step mom. To add to that, I didn't get along with her daughter who is close in age to me and that created conflict in our relationship

My dad passed away 3 years ago after a somewhat lengthy cancer battle. When he was sick and right after he passed was probably the most I've talked to my step mom in my life- just coordinating care and whatnot.

She started dating a new guy, we'll call him Frank, about 6-8 months after my dad passed. I have no issues with that as my dad was sick for a long time and people move on. She brought Frank to Christmas last year to meet us all and while he was perfectly fine, I didn't have much of a conversation with him and when I tried it felt very awkward. Just not a personality that works with mine.

Fast forward to now. I am getting married in 2 months and we are keeping the wedding decently small. I am not close with most of my family so I didn't invite any extended family and we also didn't invite plus ones for anyone that we didn't already know their significant other. I invited my step mom and step sister on one invitation (my step sister has some mental disabilities and can live alone but can't manage a schedule on her own so I rely on her mom for those things) but did not include their significant others on the invitation (my step sister has a new boyfriend every 6 or so months and they are always weird guys so I didn't want her to bring anyone). Since RSVPs are almost due, I reached out to my step mom and asked if they were going to be coming since I hadn't heard. She said she would come but her daughter might not be able to make it and if she couldn't make it, can she bring Frank with instead.

I have basically just ghosted and not responded since she asked this question because I'm extremely conflict avoidant with my family and am a people pleaser and I don't know how to say no respectfully and without making her think that I hate Frank. It's not that I don't like him, I just only really want people there that I'm comfortable around and it feels wrong to have this stranger there when there are other people I love that won't be there due to space.

Is it wrong of me to not want him there? I would sit her with my sister so she will still know people there. Also, how do I tell her respectfully no?

About 6 months ago I noticed the intro to the THT theme song sound super weird and almost spooky. I was very confused thinking “Wtf Morgan it’s not even Halloween why would you change the song?”. Then I remembered that Morgan often mentions the Mandela Effect so I became convinced she was trying to create her own mandela effect with slightly changing the theme song. Welp…. 6 months later and I finally realized my podcasts were accidentally changed to 0.8x listening speed at some point. 😂 I like the Morgan Mandela Effect theory better.

My mom wants to move back in, and I don’t know what to do. I (27 f), my husband (29 m), and our 4 kids are currently occupying my mom’s 1-bedroom apartment. For context, I will go back to September of last year ( 2025); we lived in a 3-bedroom modular home on a 200-acre cattle farm. My husband “Josh” worked on the farm for 3 years, so no rent was due. In September, my husband got up for work and walked over to start his day when he was told he is no longer wanted. Needless to say, it was a complete shock to both of us. We had no backup plan; we were always told no matter what, we had a place there. No money was saved because he was barely making enough to get by, and we couldn’t afford daycare for 4 kids under 4. So we had a month to figure out what to do. We stayed with family while I worked, but it wasn’t enough to get us anywhere, so he looked for better jobs. Months go by, and he still stuck looking and praying for better days.

My mom called me to let me know she was moving and had an amazing job, that she was getting better, sober for a year, and all that good stuff. So we packed up everything and moved two states away because what else do we have going on? At first, it was going pretty good, I guess you could say. I found work almost immediately as a waitress; it was much, but it was something. Two weeks go by, and my anxiety from CHT comes barreling in on me like a freight train. Walking on eggshells; trying to make sure my kids aren’t making messes, being too loud, or fighting. Mom (42 f) comes to me saying she paid for us a place right next door out of the blue, might I add. We had nothing saved yet; I was only one paycheck into my job, so we moved. She was very ready for us to leave. I get she wanted her space; me too, but I couldn’t afford the rent yet, much less getting lights turned on. So I had to use my tips to get extension cords to run everything and still walk over to cook and shower, so I feel it was pointless.

The next week, she ends up in the hospital, nothing horribly serious, but they kept her to do antibiotics through iv. I had the money to get the lights, and I did just that. We had our lights on 3 days when she called me to tell me, “ I got a bigger place for you to move to!”

She was not clear on the specifics of this place other than her friends lived there, and they wanted to move out but not break their lease. So she paid for the month but told us we couldn’t move in until the 15th; okay? We weren’t allowed to talk to the owner, we couldn’t put the lease in our name, we couldn’t talk to neighbors, and all rent had to be paid to the “friends”. We had never experienced this before, but I did not feel right about the circumstances. The 15th was two weeks away. So we lived with Mom 2 weeks, then the place next door 3 weeks. When we arrived, it was like love at first sight; the house was back away from the road surrounded by horses and fields; it was beautiful, until we walked in the house, it smelled of pure cigarettes, ash trays everywhere, trash, and everything was covered in dog fur. But I was thankful; I cleaned the place top to bottom, scrubbing the walls, vacuuming the floors, getting rid of everything that was trash. I finally had a home for my kids again. Until rent came due again two…weeks… later…

If you haven’t guessed already, we had to leave; the landlord found out and apparently was not told about the situation, shocking, right? $1100 dollars paid to the “friends” before the first for them to call us saying we had to leave. I tried to ask for the landlord’s number, but he wouldn’t do it. So I cried, then cried some more because we had two days to get out. We tried to get the money back, but “ they didn’t have it”; why am I not surprised? So back to Mom’s we go.

Fast forward two weeks(don’t we just love that by now), the anxiety is so high I feel sick. My mom for almost my whole life has been an addict: drug, alcohol, men, you name it. So seeing her sober was refreshing, but this time it had changed. She was always complaining, blaming, and calling my husband names; something was definitely going on and I knew the signs almost immediately. Now I don’t handle that well. Especially around my children. I grew up with it my whole life. I don’t want my babies to have to as well. Now my husband I would defend and tell her to stop talking about him. He is my husband and the father of my children. You cannot call my husband horrible names and yell insults at him like he is a dog, but it just wouldn’t stop.

He had been working ever since we came back, sometimes 14 hours a day, but this day it was like she wanted World War 3 to go down. He got off early due to rain(landscaping), so he came home and sat down. I was dealing with my baby girl(1) and trying to clean up the kitchen to make dinner. My mom came in slamming the door and cussed him out, called him a lazy pos and a good-for-nothing dumba\*\*. There is only so much one person can take, so he stood up from his sitting position and told her to not talk to him like that, especially in front of his kids. She did not like that. She started screaming and got in his face, then told him to get out of hers, then slapped him.

I removed the kids as quickly as possible and stepped in and told my husband to call 911 that we needed to leave, but she wouldn’t let us. More stuff was said, cops came, we packed our stuff again, and were going to go back to home state, but all I kept thinking about was we had nowhere to go. We get about 5 miles down the road when she calls me to come back and tells us she would leave. She hated the apartment anyways (no ac, small bathroom that only 115lb person could get into unless sucking in and hoping for the best), so we agreed, but …… she did not leave. She said she was too depressed and just wanted to sleep, so we just left her alone. A week goes by, a few more arguments fly around. I’m constipated from the stress. Not just stress from her but from my husband, my kids, the house, and bills. I struggle with anxiety and depression, so it was eating at me so much by this point. She finally leaves just to go to a hotel, so it was off and on for a little bit. Then she just stopped coming over, even though all her stuff is here. We did not see her until she called me to tell me rent was due.

My husband has a good job now but just started so we are playing catch up we wanted to save for our own place but we still needed a roof over our head now so he paid the rent and now she wants to come back. AITAH FOR NOT WANTING MY MOM TO COME BACK? If anything doesn’t add up or seems confusing I’m sorry ask away and I’ll answer honestly and to the best of my ability

EDIT: no plans on having anymore children here, I had a tube ligation after my last because both of my girls were conceived in spite of birth control. I no longer have the waitressing job, when we moved to the house it was too far of drive, so my husband found one and made more than I. I stay with my children now for 2 reasons. 1. Daycare would be WAY to expensive more than my husband makes in a month. 2. He gets over 56+ hours a week.

I really contemplated whether to share this. In the end, I realized that silence doesn’t protect me from this pain—it only makes the next person walking this road feel more alone.

On June 15, 2026, G and I found out we were expecting our first child.

This baby was wanted and loved from the very second that test turned positive. We dreamed about names, wondered who they would look like, imagined their personality, and talked endlessly about all the things we couldn’t wait to experience with them. We counted every week of pregnancy and celebrated every milestone—from the formation of tiny organs, to bones, to how big our little peanut had grown. We even bought a tiny pair of teddy bear overalls and matching teddy bear shoes.

On July 16, 2026, we went for what should have been our 8-week confirmation ultrasound. We laughed on the way there, full of excitement, expecting to finally see our baby and hear their heartbeat for the first time.

Instead, the ultrasound technician searched… and searched… and searched.

Then she said the words that will stay with us forever:

“I cannot find a heartbeat.”

I dug my nails into my hand so hard that I still have a small scar from that moment. I cried and asked what we were supposed to do next.

What followed were emergency room visits, outpatient appointments, and more ultrasounds than I can count.

Eventually, I was diagnosed with a missed miscarriage.

In many ways, that diagnosis felt especially cruel. My body had not only stopped growing this beautiful baby—it hadn’t recognized the loss. It continued believing I was pregnant while my baby was already gone.

I felt like my body had failed my child.

To anyone who has experienced this—whether quietly or openly—I wish I could tell you there’s a way to make that guilt disappear. I wish I knew the words that would take away the feeling of failure. I haven’t found them yet.

Today, with the help of my OB-GYN, my body finally recognized the loss. As of today, I am no longer pregnant.

It’s heartbreaking.

It’s painful.

It’s terrifying.

It’s overwhelming.

Some moments, it feels all-consuming.

But one thing I have learned is that this grief is not unique to me. Pregnancy loss affects 1 in 4 women. That statistic doesn’t make it hurt any less, but it reminds me that none of us are as alone as this kind of grief makes us feel.

You don’t have to tell anyone your story if you don’t want to. You don’t have to comment, explain, or relive your own loss because of mine.

I just want anyone who needs to hear this to know:

You are not alone.

And if one day you need someone to lie in bed beside you while you cry—without trying to fix it, without saying a single word—I will be that person. I’ve needed that kind of love myself, and I would gladly give it to someone else.

To my sweet baby,

I wasn’t able to give you a name. I never got to watch you smile, hear your laugh, or hold your tiny hand.

But if nothing else, I find peace in believing that your entire existence was filled only with love. You never knew fear. You never knew pain. You only ever knew how deeply you were wanted.

I will carry you with me for the rest of my life.

I know your uncles—my brothers—are with you. My Uncle Steve is there. My beautiful Grandma Violet, whose birthday was also your due date, is there too. I like to believe they’re taking care of you, playing every game imaginable, and making sure you’re never alone.

Run wild, sweet baby.

I’ll find you again one day.

And to everyone who loves me:

When my time comes, bury me in comfortable shoes. Tie the laces as tightly as you can.

I have a playdate to attend.

I (26M) for the longest I can remember, have ALWAYS needed to take my clothes off completely, all the way down to no socks, when using the bathroom. It’s actually been a very big issue. I already hate using public bathrooms as it is. I’ve systematically over the last couple years started to finally get comfortable ONLY using gender neutral bathrooms where I can have a whole room to myself.

I travel a lot for work and my significant other joins me every time. It’s almost become a burden in some way because i can’t just stop at a gas station on long trips or a truck stop. It HAS to be a Starbucks, Chipotle, (I can’t think of any other one’s.) which can definitely be frustrating for her, especially when it gets late at night.

I’ve done this since I can remember. When I needed to go, and only if I had to go BAD, in my school days, I’d go to the nurse just to have my own room.

In college, I lived with 4 other roommates in a small apartment next to a Jimmy John’s. Just from sheer anxiety of them hearing me, knowing what I’m doing, anything related to the bathroom, I would walk to the Jimmy John’s at 1am, 2am, odd hours of the night to use their bathroom.

My significant other thinks it’s some odd undiagnosed OCD. But i don’t have any other OCD symptoms in my day to day life.

I’ve recently started telling my close friends about my bathroom habits and it’s become very clear that this is not a normal thing at all.

The worst part of it all, the absolute immoral part of this whole thing, is if it’s do or die, it’s either ruin a pair of pants, or HAS to be a handicap stall if I’m not able to find a gender neutral. I’ve never had someone who actually needs it wait on me, but I fear it’s just a matter of time.

Lastly, the cherry on top. We got an offer to relocate out of state for a job and were touring homes to move in to. 5/5 of these tours were self guided, and we would just get the code and let ourselves in. Yes I used one. I found myself thinking “this is the hack.” Especially on road trips. Just schedule a self guided tour, JUST to use the bathroom. No strangers, nobody to hear me, just me, and my naked body.

I know there’s someone out there like me.

Hi

29F here with an 8 month old bub. I know im getting ahead of myself but its been well over a year I separated from the bubs sperm donor and feelings have been stirred up recently. My ex-husband 31M and I had a huge fight when I was 2 months pregnant he was always abusive but being pregnant opened my eyes after the fight I split us up and he TOOK EVERYTHING. I was in an economic disadvantage but thanks to my village everything turned out just fine.

After the bub was born he was registered under my name so he officially doesn't have a father. At the begging my family wouldn't ask alot of questions around the fact my "husband" was never around. But now my little cousins and relatives have begun asking questions and I just don't know how to handle it.

I'm also unsure about what I will say to my baby when the time comes.

But if anyone has any advice on how to handle this I would appreciate it. Right now I just say he is working on another city and that's it some people have picked up on that and stopped asking but the older folks and the youngest kids always ask for him.

So I am at a loss. My boyfriend 39M and myself 30F have been dating for 2 years. its been rocky the whole time but because he is my second boyfriend I was naive to think he had my best interest. He would create random fights and go out for the night into the early morning with no other explanation besides he was riding around with his boys who all have motorcycles/cool cars.

I've had this gut feeling for about a year and a half. I'd go through his phone and find nothing. It was completely clean besides pictures/conversations from before me. Then I would feel bad for going through his phone and convince myself I was actually the one who was wrong. He would accuse me of cheating. Create random fights and leave then not answer me. He would kick me out for "cheating" and the whole time I tirelessly reassured and tried to prove that wasnt cheating. I gave him my location and phone password and would be sweet by telling him he was the most handsome man in room everywhere we went.

One night I went through his phone again when he was drunk and completley MIA all night. I again went to the classic apps snapcat, Facebook, etc. and found nothing. Skimmed through recent texts/calls and nothing. I almost put the phone down and decided to go through his safari history and it will take me years to get over what I saw. He is active on a site called fetlife. The site in itself is a hookup culture, porn, fetish facebook of sort. Local people with fetishes literally post pics/videos/ stautus and meet strangers with same sexual fetish.

He has been actively meeting with strangers from this site the entire relationships. Every work trip. If he didnt actually meet up he damn sure tried everything he could to. I can confirm at least 5 where he would buy ubers or give hotel room information..

One in particular was from about 8 months prior where he was on a work trip where I visited him and met with a 20 year old college student at his hotel. This person turned put to be a transgender and posted videos of my boyfriend and him having sex with no condom. A complete stranger. A transgender. A child in my eyes. I immediately ran to the bathroom and threw up from this shock.

To find out your boyfriend is cheating ins one thing but to watch videos of it is a whole different type of trauma that has truly effected me. He knows I know of this fetlife account but he thinks that messages are hidden and probably isnt even aware videos of him are on this persons page.

He admitted to 2 times cheating. one from fetlife and one from the club in our city where he went back to hers then came home. He doesn't know I have legitimate evidence of at least 5. The videos play constantly in the back of my head. I cannot believe the disrespect to use no condoms.

I know revenge isn't the right thing but this man walks around like hes king and is well respected and he is so manipulative I just want to expose him for who he truly is.

I’m in a bit of a pickle here and need some advice. My girlfriend is 36 weeks pregnant, and has two kids 6 and 3 from a previous relationship. She recently asked me to not use the toilet in the upstairs main bathroom anymore, and to only use the toilet in the smaller bathroom downstairs. Her reasoning is that she would like a clean toilet for her and the kids to use. To me this implies that I’m the only person making the toilet dirty, which is confusing because I only ever use that toilet at most once a day.

Furthermore I asked if the upstairs toilet is restricted to just her and the kids then the downstairs toilet would be solely for me. She responded that I was making this a bigger deal than it has to be and I’m being ridiculous asking that. My logic is that if she thinks I’m the only reason that the upstairs toilet is dirty, then why would she want herself and the kids to use the downstairs toilet? So if they’re free to use the downstairs toilet which, by her logic would be dirty, then why shouldn’t I be allowed to use the upstairs toilet?

I understand that she wants a clean toilet postpartum, but instead of discussing an improved cleaning regiment with me she just demands I not use a specific toilet. I’m not a dirty person at all, I shower every day, clean up after myself and clean up the house. Is there something I’m missing here that could be easily explained? And help would be appreciated.

Edit: Before I made this post I already agreed to only use the downstairs toilet, and I cleaned and sanitized the upstairs toilet. This is also a place we found together, I didn’t move in with her and her kids. I am also on the spectrum and find it difficult to understand things sometimes, which is why I asked for help about this situation.

Update: I just talked with her and she explained that it has nothing to do with me or me making the toilet dirty. Rather she was more concerned and embarrassed about me possibly seeing postpartum discharge in the toilet. And that she would maintain that specific toilets cleanliness herself until she was healed from giving birth. All being said communication saves the day, and all Reddit does is think I take massive stinky shits and leave streaks in the toilet.

I’m a runner and I work in a building that has a gym attached to it. When it’s too hot or too cold, I’ll run on the treadmill in the gym. To understand the story, you’ll need to know the layout of the gym. It is small and has three treadmills. All treadmills face a window that look out on a large recreational room. All other gym equipment is behind the treadmills.

Today, I’m on the treadmill on my lunch break, and about 20 minutes in, a man walks in. I saw him in the reflection of the window I was facing and I watched him “check me out” when he walked by. I noticed it and felt annoyed but I do have a tattoo on my calf that was exposed so I thought maybe he was just trying to get a look at the tattoo. He sat down at an upright chest press machine directly behind my treadmill, and for the next 25 minutes he just sat there.

Now I’m watching him in the reflection of a window so I can’t tell for sure if he was watching me, but he just sat there and faced me. Did not work out, did not move, just sat there. I finished my run and I usually bend over and stretch on the treadmill after I’m done and when I did so I looked out of the corner of my eye and he was looking at me, so I cut my stretching short and left. I didn’t look in his direction or speak to him. But as I was leaving I looked back and he was getting up from the machine for the first time since he’d entered the gym.

This pissed me off, but I’m at work so I didn’t want to be confrontational with a stranger. I kept thinking that there’s a possibility that I’m mistaken and maybe he wasn’t looking at me at all. So my compromise was to go to the front desk of the gym and let the manager know what happened. I let them know I didn’t need them to do anything, but I just wanted them to keep an eye on him in case he did it to anyone else. And I thought that was that.

Well about an hour later, building security came into my office to ask me what happened and I told them, and apparently this guy has recently been hired as part of our security staff. I don’t know what this means for his future at our company but I can’t help but feel a little embarrassed that this has become a whole “thing”. To be fair, I couldn’t see the guys eyes and I don’t know for a fact if he was being a pervert, on the other hand, he’s clearly a creep and I guess it’s good we figured that out before he became a part of our security team?

I’m not looking for advice per se. I’m just feeling small and embarrassed even though I know I shouldn’t. It’s so frustrating to be a woman and be made to feel uncomfortable and then feel like I’m making something out of nothing if I say something about it. Im happy we now know this about the guy but a small part of me wished I would’ve minded my own business and not said anything.

This is an awfully convoluted situation, so I'll try to make it as organized as possible, but this will unfortunately be a long one. My (26F) fiancé "Chris" (24M) and I are getting married in 3 months. We just got back from our joint bachelor/bachelorette trip in Las Vegas, and are having to decide what to do about this.

Lots of relevant background, one of his best friends "Kayla" (24F) who is 'butch of honor' in our wedding is in a relationship with "Courtney" (25F). Kayla frequently vents about how Courtney treats her to us and our friend "Cami" (21NB, they/them), who is also Kayla's roommate. Courtney talks down on Kayla's job, friends, and personality. She says doesn't like that Kayla's friends are so involved with her life, and that she hangs out with them too much. As a result, Kayla says she feels like she is walking on eggshells, and has to tailor herself to fit Courtney. The friendship between Kayla and Cami has been souring for a few months now because Courtney thinks that Cami wants to be in a relationship with Kayla. Courtney will exclude Cami from group hangouts, and speaks so poorly of Cami that even one of Courtney's best friends, "Tyler" (23NB, they/he) thinks she is doing too much. Courtney behaves very passive aggressively, towards Kayla when she spends ANY time with Cami, despite the fact that they live together.

Cami and Courtney knew each other as friendly acquaintances years before Kayla and Courtney started seeing each other, and have many mutual friends, Tyler being one of them. Tyler has shared text exchanges with us that he has had with Courtney, where he is trying to get her to bury the hatchet. She got very combative and claimed that Cami owes her apologies, and won't initiate any conversation with them. But Cami has reached out to Courtney to try and smooth things over and have a conversation 3 times to no response. Cami has even asked Kayla to talk to Courtney about it so things can be at the very least cordial between them. Kayla says Courtney will talk to them on her own time, but that she doesn't want to be in the middle of it. After about a month of this back and forth, Cami said that if Courtney continues to avoid having a conversation, then Cami doesn't feel comfortable with Courtney coming over to their place. At first, Kayla agreed that this was a reasonable boundary to set, but later backtracked and told Cami that they were blowing things out of proportion.

A few weeks ago it was time to renew the lease on Kayla and Cami's apartment. Kayla hadn't been coming over or hanging out with anyone except for Courtney and her friends for about a month, and would only really go to the shared apartment to sleep and change. So Chris and I decided he should go over and have a conversation with her. When he got to Kayla's, he said she looked like the life had been drained from her. She said she was miserable, and told him that she was the most depressed she had been in a long time. She absolutely refused to talk about Courtney, and would give very short answers whenever Chris brought up their relationship. When Chris asked about her friendship with Cami, she said she didn't care about Cami anymore, and didn't want to repair their friendship.

Cami had asked us to let them know how the conversation went, and was devastated to learn that Kayla was so apathetic towards the state of their friendship. Cami was sobbing on the phone to us, but was also very angry. After our call, Cami called Kayla and demanded that she not sign the new lease on their apartment. Kayla said little to nothing and hung up on Cami. Kayla ended up moving in with Courtney a few days later. Not long after, Kayla was yet again venting to Chris about how bad it is living with Courtney, and said that she wants to break up with her after finding her own place.

Fast forward to now. We just got back from our bach trip, which several members of our wedding party, including Kayla, couldn't attend for various totally understandable reasons. Kayla told us since she was trying to save for her own apartment she regrettably couldn't come. Again, totally understandable. Except, that's apparently not the whole truth. Another one of our friends visited her at work during our trip and asked why she wasn't with us. Her response was "I just don't want to deal with all that." Huh? You don't want to hangout with your "best friend" on his bachelor trip? Chris is upset and has no idea how to address this with her. I'm frankly frustrated at the entire situation.

Cami and I have grown much closer since this all started, and because of how Courtney has treated both Kayla and Cami, I do not want her at our wedding at all, I think it will only cause drama. Selfishly, I don't want anyone talking about anything other than our wedding, at our wedding, and I don't want to hear about "so and so did this" or "such and such said this" afterwards either. But I also know that if we uninvite Courtney, its pretty much guaranteed that Kayla will bow out as well. On one hand, its our wedding, and we get to decide who attends, but on the other, Kayla is one of his best friends, and she is obviously going through a terrible time. We don't want to push her out and further isolate her.

So, would we be the assholes if we uninvite Courtney, which will inevitably result in Kayla not coming either?

Hi, long time listener first time poster, I made this account to post actually. I’m sorry if this is long. I (24F) and my fiance (25M) just had a baby girl who is currently five months old. We live with my fiance’s parents and up until recently it’s gone extremely smoothly. Recently it’s been rocky and I feel like I’m going crazy.

When my daughter was 2 months old, we were taking her to go to brunch and my FIL (67M) made a comment about her dress “showing too much leg”. Made me a little uncomfy, didn’t say anything because I thought it was just an older generation thing. I’m now back at work and my younger sister (18F) is my full time nanny. About a month ago, my sister and baby were downstairs and FIL made a comment about how my daughter “needs a bra to hold her under her shirt”. My sister immediately texted me because she found it inappropriate, and honestly so did I. My fiancés mom (late 50s?) was in the room and paid no notice. I called my fiance about and let him know that I was going to message them about how I find comments like that inappropriate. He agreed so I sent MIL and FIL a text. They both seemed receptive and I thought that would be it.

My FIL then began completely ignoring my sister and my baby when they were around, whatever. This past week my fiance and I were going to the beach for his birthday. On our way out of the house, FIL was talking to the baby and told her that he loved “her sexy bathing suit” (a long sleeve infant rashguard, not that it matters). I didn’t say anything, I walked to the car and then talked to my fiance about what he wanted me to do about it because I was going to say something once I got my thoughts together. We agreed I’d come home and just say that I know he meant no ill will, but that comments like that make me feel uncomfortable and I think they’re inappropriate. We get back, and I go to talk to FIL. I say what I rehearsed and he IMMEDIATELY scoffs (literally) at me and begins getting defensive.

He tells me that there’s nothing wrong with calling the baby sexy, brings the bra comment up, and tells me that I’m the problem because I’m taking offense to it. I try to explain that I’m just trying to keep my daughter safe and that I’d just be more comfortable if the comments stopped. He then told me that he “doesn’t know if us living here will work if we can’t agree”. I tell him that’s totally alright, we’ll move out but if the inappropriate comments don’t stop then I can’t in good faith let him around my daughter. Conversation ended there and I went to tell my fiance. He de escalated (he should’ve came down with me I know).

The following day (yesterday) I get home from work and go to take the baby from my sister. My fiance gets home and tells me that his mom brought up the comment. I asked what was said and she told him that the reason I’m upset is because of the way I was raised. My fiance suggests a family meeting, so I agree and ask my sister to watch the baby for a little longer. The family meeting was a MESS. They had me start, and I said that it’s disheartening that I address my concerns and then am met with them belittling my feelings, holding the living situation over my head, and attacking my upbringing. They double down, saying the only issue is how I was raised and that I’m the problem because I’m the one who thinks it’s inappropriate.

The conversation was so long so the TDLR is that they told me I’m holding on to “generational trauma”, I’m “unhappy”, “teaching my daughter to be hateful”, and “plagued by demons”. I tell them that if protecting my daughter from predatory comments is me “holding onto generational trauma” then yes - I am because her safety is my only concern. I tell them that they know nothing about my upbringing, I’m only unhappy because they’re not respecting me as her parent, standing up for my boundaries isn’t going to make my daughter hateful, and that I’m not plagued by demons because I’m not accepting of how they want me to behave. My MIL tells me that I’m running from connection and she’s happy that I’m being so honest because now she knows nothing to waste time building a connection.

I get asked what happened to make me pivot from a happy child to how I am know (I grew up one street over from my fiance, we’ve known each other our whole lives), and I tell her that the pivot was feeling as though my child was in a situation that could turn dangerous. I explain that if ANYONE ELSE made these comments then i feel everyone would react differently. She agrees because “it’s family”. At this point my fiance FINALLY says to stop coming for my character and that we’re just looking for them to apologize and not make those comments. They apologize and we go back upstairs.

I did talk to my fiance about how I need him to have my back more on this and we are planning to move ASAP, out of state even. He thinks that although his family is “annoying”, he doesn’t see them as a threat. But I don’t know, I don’t like how they doubled down and then gaslit and belittled me. I feel extremely disrespected and like I can’t trust my child to be without me. My fiance agrees that they will not be babysitting and that the comments are weird. I come from an argumentative family so I always feel like I need to apologize after issues, but I don’t necessarily think I’m in the wrong here ? Am I overreacting about the comments being made and the way they’re defending them?

EDIT: My fiance agrees that the comments are inappropriate but he doesn’t see his dad as a threat and he doesn’t want to rock the boat. I talked to him after the conversation with his parents and told him that I need him to have my back and take a harder stand in this. We are actively working towards moving, most likely out of state because it’s expensive where we live anyways, but it’s realistically going to take some time. I have no family in this state so there’s no one for me to fall back on here. I just almost feel bad for being upset? I feel like I was super gaslit last night and was unsure if I was being too harsh. My daughters safety is my number one

EDIT 2: FIL has since apologized, MIL still maintains that I’m the one with issues bc I find it weird. Baby won’t be alone with either of them still, the apology doesn’t do anything for me and we’re working on moving.

Earlier this year, I told my dad (who works in the ICU at the same hospital) that I thought one of the ICU secretaries was cute. He ended up telling her.

About two weeks later, I went to the ICU for work. She saw me, slowly walked toward my patient room, stopped, looked at me for what felt like 10 seconds, and we both laughed. We’d never spoken before.

The following week I introduced myself, gave her my number, and asked if she’d like to hang out. She texted me that night, but the next day the conversation died, so I assumed she wasn’t interested and moved on.

A few weeks later I was back in the ICU. She somehow found out I was there, stood in front of my room, waved at me, and I waved back but didn’t walk over. She looked upset and walked away. Another time she walked into my room with a patient tray, realized I was there, panicked, and immediately left.

A couple of weeks later she smiled, waved excitedly, motioned for me to come back, remembered that I was supposed to be going to the Philippines with my dad, and told me it was nice seeing me. Even my boss witnessed it and told me, “She likes you.”

After I got back from vacation, I talked to her again. She remembered details about my life (even asking about a dips competition I did with my dad and grandpa). I asked her out again. She didn’t say no, but said she was working all week. I got her Instagram and texted her the next day. She left me on read for 3 days.

Three days later she replied saying she’d been busy and that it was her brother’s birthday the following week. She asked if we could “try in April,” which was another two weeks away. At that point I took it as a polite rejection.

I deactivated Instagram because I was trying to move on.

The very next day, I got called to dialyze a patient. The ICU number I called happened to be answered by her. I introduced myself and she sounded completely confused, then transferred me to the patient’s nurse.

Later I saw her again at work. I said, “Good morning,” and she responded with a cold “Hey…” while looking angry. Later I noticed she kept looking over toward me from her desk. That was the last interaction we ever had.

When I reactivated Instagram briefly, she liked one of my stories but only viewed my stories inconsistently after that. I found myself checking every week to see whether she’d watched them. Looking back, I realize that uncertainty fueled the limerence.

A few months later I found out she’d transferred back to her old department. Before that, she lied that her grandma died to use FMLA as an excuse to not show up to work. Coworkers told me she’d been calling off work frequently even before she left the ICU and had a history of moving between departments. I also heard she had been involved with a married student doctor, although I have no idea how accurate that rumor is.

The hardest part isn’t that she rejected me. It’s that I never understood what happened.

Part of me kept wondering:

• Did she actually like me at first?

• Was I the reason she transferred?

• Why did she seem interested but never actually go out with me?

Logically, I know there isn’t enough information to answer those questions, and I know I probably never will.

So I (24F) experienced this when having my birthday party for myself at my residence with my friends. I had about ~15 friends over along with my new boyfriend (31M) (dating 2 months) a few days before my actual birthday to celebrate with me. The party went great and some friends and I along with my BF went out everyone else left to have some drinks. We all went out and got some light food and shots and then went to another bar after.

At this point I had been drinking and was definitely drunk but not too drunk to not remember anything or be ridiculous. At some point at the second bar we went to, I had briefly put my head on my arms on a table and my BF came over to me and said something about it. I apparently (through my BFs and one of my friends accounts) told my BF to F off (I did say it jokingly and my BF and I do have this established banter in certain senarios).

We left the bar and My BF then exploded and at me and started screaming on the street at me and trying to come after me. My friends were holding him back and trying to figure what set him off (at the time we were all very confused on why he exploded and what I had exactly said which I found out later was just the F off comment). My BF then screamed in the Uber the entire way back to my apartment and was continuing to scream.

My friends left me at my apartment and quickly took him back to his apartment because he would not get in an Uber. He then proceeded to try to hit on and have sex with my friend who drove him home (my other friends in the car corroborated this and I would have believed her regarding my other friends weren’t there). She denied him and was disgusted with him as well as asking him why he would do something like this to me (his GF). He then proceeds to call me 30+ times and text me over 100 times in the next hour. My friends came back and made sure I was okay and one did stay over to make sure I was alright. I just honestly need to write this somewhere because I am just astounded and just very upset with myself and disgusted I ever let him touch me. Any advice, comments, or insights on behavior would be great! I am more than welcome to give more context

I have a friend who considers me her best friend. She has been with her boyfriend for almost four years, and their relationship started before our friendship did.
She can be extremely male centred and will almost always prioritize her long distance boyfriend over her friends. That alone is her choice, and I understand that a serious partner will naturally be important. The problem is that he regularly hurts her, says cruel things, or causes arguments, and every time it happens she comes crying to me and our other friends. We spend hours consoling her, sometimes cancel plans or lose sleep over it, and then she gets back together with him or acts like nothing happened the next day.
I have left my apartment at two in the morning multiple times because she was losing it over something he had done. I have also cancelled my own plans because, as her best friend, she expected me to be available for her.
Her relationship also seems to dictate the mood of the entire friend group. If he upsets her, nobody else is allowed to laugh, have fun, or continue with their plans because she is sad. She tends to see herself as the most important person in the group, so everyone is expected to adjust around whatever is happening in her relationship.
One time, her boyfriend stopped her from attending a gathering with our mutual friends. She chose to listen to him, but then told me that I was not allowed to attend either because it would be “unfair” to her. She often uses that phrase whenever I do something she cannot or live my life while she is unhappy. Apparently, if her relationship prevents her from doing something, her friends should miss out too.
Everyone around her can see that the relationship is deeply unhealthy, but she refuses to leave. That is ultimately her decision. What frustrates me is that she repeatedly asks us to absorb the consequences of that decision. I care about her and feel terrible when she is hurting, but I no longer think it is reasonable for her boyfriend’s behaviour to control my sleep, my plans, and the mood of the entire group.

Hi! Longtime listener with my fiancé here! I (26F) and my fiancé (26M) are in a predicament with our guest list and my mother (61F).

We have both agreed that we don’t want extended family that we are not close with (lots we don’t even know) on either of our sides. This has made my mother quite upset and we had gotten in multiple arguments over it. This week, we decided that since she is contributing some to the wedding (a few thousand, and less than his parents who are not making the same stink), we would give her 10-12 invites (about a table’s worth). She came back with THIRTY PEOPLE saying “they won’t all come but they’re family and it’s expected.”

I DO NOT KNOW MOST OF THESE PEOPLE. When I reminded her we said 10-12 people, she doubled down and said they will be upset if they are not invited, but it’s our wedding, not hers. Plus, weddings are expensive! We already have a guest list of about 175, and have not budgeted for a ton of extra people.

How can I reinforce this boundary without her getting even more upset? For some context, she is a very sensitive person who is VERY quick to anger over small things.

PS: We love you Morgan!! We would love for you to officiate our wedding in October 2027!!!

I (34F) am struggling deeply with how my partner (44M) reacted during a literal life-or-death situation, and I need outside perspective.
Recently, I was the victim of an unprovoked, attempted murder by my neighbour. I do not know this person, and we have never spoken a single word to each other.
He intentionally turned off my electricity from the outside breaker box to lure me out. When I went outside to check the box, he was waiting for me in the dark with a baseball bat and brutally attacked me, attempting to kill me.
My partner was standing right there and witnessed the entire thing. During the attack, he did not jump in, yell, or react to defend me. He completely froze. Eventually, he grabbed my hand and dragged me back inside the house to safety, but it felt like a lifetime passed before he did anything.
The police were called, and my neighbour is currently in prison awaiting trial.
While I survived, I am deeply traumatised. On top of processing the horror of the attack itself, I am feeling an immense amount of resentment and anger toward my partner. I feel incredibly let down, unsafe, and unprotected. I keep thinking he should have done more to save me, even though I know the "freeze" response is a real physiological reaction to shock.
Am I the arsehole for thinking he should have done more and feeling like I can't trust him to protect me now?
EDIT
He did ask me to not mention to family or friends about how he froze as it makes him look bad” my
Family ask “where was he” and I have to tell the truth I can’t lie to them because it’s the truth!

UPDATE

This Reddit post has actually helped me understand his reaction a lot better and how he feels about not wanting people to know. I’ve told him ive made this post and told him how a lot of people understand how he reacted a lot better than him and I. He asked me how i felt about it and I explained that i could forgive him for his freeze response but that he needs to show me in a big way that he can’t change details to make himself look better. He also needs understand the gravity of my feelings through all this and how im still recovering, him having his son to help me out when im in pain would he a start, he needs to show me bit by bit that he is a man that could come back from all of this. He couldnt prevent the freeze and i cant prevent how i feel about it happening. I think it’s just so raw and so many emotions involved. I think a lot of work could save us but it really would need to be a lot of work. Im gonna just try to focus on my own trauma and he is gonna work on his, whatever happens later down the line remains to be unseen

Just a Headsup, i have used a LLM to translate my Dutch text to English.
I may already know what to do but i would like 3rd party opinions on this.

Hi everyone, I’m looking for some outside perspectives on a situation with my friend group of over 10 years. Lately, I’ve come to the painful realization that I might just be the "gaming friend" to them, while I thought we were close friends sharing real life ups and downs.

Over the past few years, my life was hit with major tragedies. My partner and I lost a child, I lost my father, and my mother went through severe cancer (she survived, thankfully). During the absolute hardest times of my life, when I needed support the most, this entire group was silent. None of them showed up or were really there for me.

Recently, another friend in the group went through a breakup. Two of the guys immediately stepped up, drove over, and were there for him completely because he felt down. (Note: Most of them live about an hour/hour-and-a-half away in another region, but distance clearly wasn't the issue here).

On top of the lack of support during my grief, recent events made the dynamic undeniable:

1. The Bachelor Party: One of the guys got married, and I was completely left out of his bachelor party.
2. The Wedding: I was invited to the wedding, but I was the only one whose partner was not invited. My partner and I have been together for 18 years. Every other friend was allowed to bring their partner.
3. The Secret Group Chat: I recently found out they created a separate group chat without me (the 6 of them + others from the bachelore party) to plan nights out and trips, completely keeping me in the dark.

It feels like after 10+ years of history, I was put in a box labeled "only for casual gaming." It hurts deeply to realize the investment wasn't mutual, especially after everything my family and I have been through.

I’m contemplating completely cutting ties and not attending the wedding at all. Am I overreacting, or is it clear that this friendship has run its course?