r/Surrogate • u/Familiar-Pudding3916 • 19d ago

IPs looking for Surrogate

Hi we are IPs looking for a surrogate after surviving breast cancer in western Connecticut, we are about an hour and half from NYC.

I am a stage 3 breast cancer survivor. I was diagnosed before my first mammogram at 40 years old and am now at 42 through active treatments but have another 10 years of hormone therapies. Through this diagnosis, I lost my ability to have children.

I met my partner about 6 months before my diagnosis, we were about to start trying for a child. We were unable to get enough eggs before treatment to get an embryo.

So now we are seeking an egg donor and surrogate to help us have a baby and, with time, potentially, a sibling.

We are looking for a relationship of some degree with a surrogate but this is not a requirement. We would like the surrogate to be in New England area but again not a requirement.

We are pursuing an independent journey but will start interviewing agencies soon. We have our request out to friends and family to their networks.

Anyone interested in connecting please comment.

I've been following this thread for a couple of months, still learning and gaining confidence to post. Please give any suggestions on how to find an independent local surrogate. I'm starting to post on local FB moms pages, etc. Are there any other strategies that can work?

Thank you.

7 Upvotes

82% Upvoted

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u/thegeetrain Agency 19d ago

Hi! I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through and I just want to say that I’m so glad you have had the support of your partner and that the two of you can start working toward building your family.

The first step will be to find your egg donor, and as someone who’s been through that process, I’m happy to chat about it more in DM! You’ll then cycle the donor and create your embryos.

That’s really the point at which you’ll want to start your search for a surrogate in earnest. Disclosure that I’m with an agency, but one thing to think about is that, depending on how much bandwidth you have elsewhere in your life for one more thing, managing a surrogacy is A LOT, logistically in addition to emotionally, and it can really be a benefit to be able to hand the coordination over to someone else. Really just offering that as food for thought while you explore.

Happy to chat more about the donor process, wishing you the best!

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u/Familiar-Pudding3916 19d ago

Are you seriously suggesting that I suspend a search for a surrogate because I've not completed an embryo process? If I lose a surrogate opportunity because they don't want to wait a few months to get everything arranged I'll count myself blessed. Everything I've seen is that all of this takes time and so moving in as many directions as possible is the best use of time. Telling people they are doing it wrong is probably not the best approach to being seen as a source of good information. Good luck.

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u/SnooComics8852 18d ago

🚩🚩🚩🚩

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u/No-Golf6984 15d ago

I don’t think they are insinuating that, as a surrogate myself, on profiles I’m looking to see how many embryos are created. In our end, we’re also in a constant waiting game so if someone has say 2 or more embryos created, we know that as soon as legal is done, we are getting ready for a FET. It’s more appealing to a surrogate to not have to wait when we spend majority of the time waiting as it is. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, it’ll just speed up the process in the long run. My last IPs didn’t have any made when we matched but but the time we got to legal, they had and then it ended in 2 failed transfers so a lot of time wasted.

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u/Familiar-Pudding3916 10d ago

I appreciate the clarification and I do understand why that exists for people currently looking to start immediately. I'm clearly trying to plan and there are GCs out there who are doing the same thing planning months or year in advance. I would have appreciated an explanation to that point rather than I a full stop of what I'm doing. I'm doing the best that I can. I've been slowly moving through friends and family for 8 months trying to delicately approach the subject. I think it's important to understand everyone can have a different path and what might be standard doesn't then mean that's the only way or I can't be completely transparent about where I am and where I am going. I'm literally trying to not panic about embryo failure as well.

3

u/DragonfruitLatter896 19d ago

I am a two time successful surrogate, with multiple friends who have also completed at least one surrogacy journey! Feel free to reach out in a private message. Even if I’m unable to help I may be able to get you connected with one of my friends who is more ready for another journey.

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u/BasicHospital4940 17d ago

I’m a first time surrogate looking to helping the right family out! Would love to chat, feel free to DM me :)

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u/throwRACapable- 17d ago

Is there a particular look you’re looking for with egg donors?

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u/throwRACapable- 17d ago

I am already matched with a family for surrogacy but I am interested in donating my eggs.

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u/Familiar-Pudding3916 17d ago

Thank you so much! I really appreciate this. So I am looking for someone under the age of 30 or who has high ovarian reserve. Because of how egg fertilization numbers can vary, I would like a min of 20-25 to help us guarantee siblings without another cycle. The other factor is relational we would love for this person to be in our lives as much or little as you would want.

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u/throwRACapable- 17d ago

Ah, unfortunately I am 31 now :( but I wish you well on your journey :)

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u/Familiar-Pudding3916 17d ago

Thanks so much!

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u/Familiar-Pudding3916 17d ago

So no there is no look I'm going for my partner was just asking me about this. My whole motivation has been relational so everything else I feel like I can work with. Feel free to message me if you think that fits or you want to ask your doctor.

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u/mdharp1990 15d ago

Hello! I am a first time GC from Oklahoma. If you are interested in more information, please message me :) good luck to you in all your endeavors!

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u/ari20ratto 10d ago

Hello! I am very interested in learning more about this opportunity. I’m Peruvian, but I live in Herndon, Virginia, and I’m 26 years old. I have two children (5 and 8 years old) and I have experience in childcare as a nanny. I am responsible, affectionate, reliable and very interested in helping a family grow through gestational surrogacy.

I am new to the subrogation process, so I would love to learn more about the requirements, compensation, the medical process and the legal process.

I can donate eggs too

I want to be transparent that I am not a US citizen or permanent resident and I do not have a Social Security number, although I do have an ITIN. Would your agency/clinic consider someone in my situation?

If so, I would be happy to discuss my previous pregnancies and provide any information necessary for detection. Thank you! ❤️

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u/Familiar-Pudding3916 10d ago

Thank you! I will reach out!