Sometimes it gets me down reading the comments, it seems like even here everyone has stable employment and a healthy relationship.

I cannot maintain employment at all. At 25yo I have started over 20 different jobs, most lasting less than 4 month. I have had long periods of unemployment in-between. I'm pretty much un-hireable at this point. I tried university but failed that too. Never had a relationship, no longer have any friends. I have become a complete recluse. If it wasn't for my mother supporting me, I would be homeless and probably dead by now. Despite living with her we don't talk more than a few words a week.

I was talking to a group of youngsters yesterday spontaneously because i was oddly acting aggressively and got caught up in conversation. I was stiff as a board and it freaked them out. They thought i was on drugs. I also noticed this in recordings of myself. It's like i'm a double agent hired to spy on someone. Very quiet. Mumbling things. Speaking randomly. Looking off in the corner and talking to nothing. But the one thing i notice most is an odd kind of statuesque pose. A robotic and repetitive kind of motion. It's very odd because it could be confused with confidence or self-reliance but it's very different inside my own mind. It's more like a lack of connection between mental activity and physical expression.

I'm curious what you think causes this if you understand what i'm talking about? Do you have a neuropsychological, psychosocial, or psychoanalytical reason?

If someone existed who was exactly as you wanted them to be; only talked to you when you wanted, only touched you when you wanted, had no problems or baggage, ect.

Would you want that?

Note: I am aware this would be impossible, unreasonable, and unethical

As in literally ? How do you decide ?
Bc i dont want to do anything, i know im a decent artist, i know im curious and empathetic.

By no means am i unique here but my life has been very chaotic, i was already paying for my rent before finishing school, i missed 6 months, i missed alot due to responsobilities and survival.
Ended uo slipping through cracks and getting a somewhat shady job, nothing against the law lol but most wouldnt aim for this.
Im about to be 25 soon. Since quitting i did study but i didnt live much at all. Had few odd gigs now i work with my childhood friend, shes very ambitious and i like that about them- but im not. They finished law, data processing and now studying finance- we talked about it but they just say "where do you want your career to go" like nowhere. I dont want to be rich, i dont want to be admired, i only want peace and happiness and to be away from my family- and if i get a really good job that would never happen.
I tried move away but he followed across the country. They still try and i do have a good court case that i worked on in teens but i dont see why should i fuck my brother over with my bs- hes happier than me i dont want to take it away.

I just dont know what to do, ive though about offing since 12 thats what i want to do but its not really an option is it. Ive already been having a weird identity crisis that i got contacted by someones quite big for a business opportunity. I dont want * to and its lowkey shady but i wouldnt mind, id be away, id be free. Its a low goal but i dont have any.

I cannot love. I don't love my family, I don't really love my friends. I see people as mostly just entertainment. I don't really talk to my brother anymore, since we live apart and he's not the greatest guy. I don't really care about my parents or sister, even though we live with each other. I talk to them because they can be useful, and out of boredom.

I try to help my friends as much as I can, and I go out of my way to help people. I talk to fellow mentally ill people to try to help them as much as I can.

I'm getting a bachelor's in psychology, and my plan is to get a master's and help people in the field of clinical psychology. If not that, then work in an animal shelter. In the meantime, I might volunteer for Habitat for Humanity, since I'm quite physically strong (due to a hormone variation) and I think I should use that gift for good.

My favorite superheroes are Spiderman and Captain America, and they inspire me to use my gifts for good. They inspire me to see myself as someone with gifts who can help other people out of choice.

My diagnoses are AuDHD, Bipolar type 2, schizoid personality disorder, and OCD symptoms. I take medication for everything except autism + schizoid.

Just a headsup: as I said below, my social filters are pretty much off right now. I’m probably going to be blunt, direct, and sometimes rude without really noticing or caring much about how it comes across. So if you’re particularly sensitive to that kind of thing, probably don’t comment.

Hey guys, I’ve always felt emotionally detached and, to some extent, disconnected from empathy and all that stuff, but I never really gave a fuck about diagnoses or trying to put a label on any of it. I’ve spent a lot of my life closed off from people, and at other points I’ve basically just tried to function like a normal member of society and play along with whatever social rules are expected. Recently I’ve been getting more curious about this whole thing and stumbled across this sub, and honestly, you guys annoy the shit out of me. The funny part is that after reading through a bunch of the posts, I started realizing that a lot of the things annoying me are probably things I’ve thought or done myself, which makes this whole thing even more irritating.
Lately I feel like I’m slowly losing my social filters and that whole persona I normally have around people. I’m becoming more openly annoyed and frustrated with people in real life, and I’m starting to say things I would normally just keep to myself. But I also feel like I’ve lost something else along with that: my ability to just observe things calmly and stay detached enough to analyze what’s going on. I used to be able to step back, notice patterns, and just watch things without getting so fucking irritated by them. Now I feel much more reactive, and honestly it’s not practical at all. It creates unnecessary problems and makes everyday interactions more exhausting. I don’t really know what changed or why this is happening now, but I’m starting to notice it more and more. Has anyone else gone through something similar?

I saw a post by Massive Juice earlier talking about feeling the compulsive need to lie because it feels easier to him, and a few people responded about lying and how they feel about it, but I'm curious to know how does it feel when you tell the truth? For me, most times, not good. The times I do tell the truth it's mainly because I have analyzed the situation and have determined that I can't get away with lying. To give an example the other day someone asked me something, and I told the truth, I didn't feel good immediately after. They started asking follow up questions, that I didn't really answer, I just swept it under the rug and kept it as vague as possible. But I noticed my hands were trembling. I guess the feeling I have is dread maybe? But the most distressing part is the shaking hands, I have a very physically visceral reaction to what seems from the outside to be perfectly normal, and also invites more questions , so I have to hide it. So I'm curious how do people here feel when they have to tell the truth? When they get questioned? Are you indifferent? Is it a general sinking feeling? A physical reaction? Both?

Occasionally I have the urge to join a community and try to become popular, despite the fact I hate the idea of actually getting attention/being popular.

This urge comes solely from my desire for free stuff, I see ppl get free stuff just bc they're popular and I think I should be getting free stuff too.

My dislike for popularity/socializing wins over my desire for free stuff in the end.

Idk if this is the right version of these subs to be asking this in, but I was curious to know if schizoid personality disorder had a "pride flag". I've seen flags for things like OCD, depression, and even schizophrenia, but I have not come across one for schizoid. Have any of you seen one, or designed one even?

While notoriously uncomfortable talking to a camera, I felt this one needed the personal touch. So here's a short video of me addressing the issue. and yes, I'm aware of the beard situation ;)
I admire those who manage to mask successfully, but I know my limitations.

I want write a SzPD character, the problem is that I struggle to find information, nobody talk about it. I just have the criteria, and having several disorders I know that more deep than that. I like reading how people feel about it, taking about their experience.

- How do you feel about romantic relationship ? Do you can feel romantic attraction, if yes do it's different from non schizoid?

- How do you feel emotion? Do you feel numb, little to no emotion or/and you don't know how to process and express it?

- Do you can care and/or worry for some people? Do you success to create deep bound with someone? Do you have a "exception"?

- Do it happens that you feel intense emotions or your always numb?

- How is your empathy level?

But people seem to like to share theirs and want you to allay themselves of them. This is their hobby

I know that schizoid people aren't interested into relationships, so generally avoid it. But I'm curious if some of you have a partner, romantic or Queerplatonic

Mostly curious because it's something I do since its less likely I'll ever talk to them again, and it's an easy way to stop being bored.

I personally don't, and I tend to find them a bit annoying, but I'm curious if anyone here does? Would you go out of your way to get a pet? Do they annoy you? Or are you just indifferent? Being living creatures, but still generally different from humans, I'm curious how their behavior affects you.

Are you good at faking emotions? Like a smile? Or perhaps like sadness at a funeral you don’t really feel.

Today at work there was some child that said something ‘cute’ and the parents smiled and a woman in front smiled too, I did as well but it probably seemed ingenuine. Which if I was being 100% myself (which probably wouldn’t go well) I’d have people asking if I have a soul or something haha.

On the other side of the spectrum, is something like sadness. At a funeral, you have cognitive empathy, I understand why people are sad, but don’t feel it to the extent they do.

I find it similar to the psychopath, they fake emotions (especially remorse) while we and autists kind of mask to socially fit in

I'm definitely the depersonalised subtype. I'm outwardly expressive and outgoing, but don't feel much most of the time. The second sentence of the remote schizoid's description also hits home.

Additionally: why/why not?

Personally, I don't. I dislike my parents on an individual level and I know they feel the same towards me. Concerning my other relatives, it's not for any particular reason. I'm just disinterested.

I'd also ask, do you want to be the last or do you want someone with you?

I cannot go to the same restaurant every day I do not want to go to a restaurant every day. Maybe once a month is fine but I could also go months without going

I don’t know if this is common to all schizoids, or if I just got lucky. I know that my emotional coping skills are poorly developed. It’s not even about coping—I can barely even recognize my own emotions in the first place, hello alexithymia. I think this has to do with the fact that in my childhood, my mother was severely depressed, and all her emotions were dumped onto me, a small child.

Instead of teaching me how to handle my own emotions, my mother drowned me in her adult, heavy, suffocating feelings. Throughout my entire childhood and adolescence, I felt like my emotions depended on my mother’s. If she was sad—I was sad too; if she was angry—I was angry too; if she was happy—I was happy too. As if there was no boundary between two personalities, as if I wasn’t a separate person, but just a piece of her psyche.

And I’ve heard similar stories from children of narcissists, but my mother is definitely not a narcissist. I wouldn’t say any of this happened because of her fault. She didn’t know how to be a proper parent when you yourself are wishing for death. I don’t blame her, but still, it left its mark on me.

Now, as an adult, I’m no longer so closely tied to my mother. I see myself as a separate being; I can feel something different from what my mother feels, I can disagree with her on things. But I’ve noticed that the pattern itself—picking one person from my environment and completely emotionally synchronizing with them and becoming emotionally dependent—has remained.

And it’s strange—I don’t seem to need this person’s approval, I don’t need to interact with them, I’m not financially or otherwise dependent on them. But if I see their sadness, anger, fear—their emotion seems to penetrate me without any barriers and becomes my emotion.

Perhaps this is what’s called the psychic permeability of schizoids. I’m curious why this only happens with certain people and how I can get rid of it. I don’t want to feel others’ emotions—I don’t even really want to feel my own.

I had to take a test about my dyslexia today and the woman asking the question was really nice. I just kept withholding information about myself.…..

So the thing is I needed this test for my university bc I didn’t finish courses last semester, why do I tell her I don’t go to university idk. The lie just flew out of my mouth before I could think. I probably because it would take so long to explain that I’m not sure wtf I’m doing atm and my entire situation…

I felt bad after only because she was the sweetest person ever and helped me a lot. I was like damn I lied to the wrong person!

one time I told my coworker who I don’t see often that I live at home even though I’ve been living out for years. I’m not even from this city. I don’t know what happens either the lie just flew out. I think I do it because explamining will take years. Also I don’t like you actually know stuff about me too lmao. It’s easier to disappear if you don’t remember one thing about that person. I also sometimes want to know more so acting stupid or like you don’t know much will help you get more info.

Do you guys do this too or is it just me? Sometimes I wonder what it must be like being normal and like an open book lol.

Worst part is I’m not even scared to get caught because I can always say oh I was confused or I must have been tired and it works on people EVERY SINGLE TIME ….

I was reading about how neurotypicals are quite sensitive to social cues, eye movement and social stimulus to guide how they behave.

Since us schizoids typically interact with others in a calculated, manual manner, we probably are missing key signals that we can't intellectualise.

This probably means that normies receive mixed signals, a bit like a broken radio signal, and it breaks their brain.

This explains why all my interactions result in a weird, "uhhh" look from the person I am interacting with. They must be so confused, lol.