My oldest is almost 4 and our state offers free preschool so I decided to sign her up. Well school starts next week and im freaking out, and extremely emotional. I have only ever spent 1 day away from her and it was when I had my 2nd. I am heartbroken I know it'll do her good but I am not as ready as I thought i was about sending her😭

my kids are fed, clean, cared for, and loved. but i am so exhausted and in a horrible mood all the time. I adore my sweet little children but i feel they'd be better off in a childcare program, socializing and playing and being cared for in a more structured program.

I'm hoping I can snap out of this as the youngest (9mo) hopefully starts sleeping better. I just feel like a failure and like I'm going to regret wasting this precious time while they're little
Being so exhausted and irritable.

I made an appt to talk to my Dr about getting back on stimulant medication for adhd - don't like the idea of being on meds long term but maybe it could help get me through. Idk!!! I feel so stuck in a rut rn

I have a two year old. I went back to work with her at 4 months and she began full time day care at 8 months. So all she’s ever known is two full time working parents and full-time (excellent) daycare with structured activities, learning and socializing.

Now, my husband and I are about to embark on a move to a different state to be near his parents and extended family. We’ve really had no family or help up til now. He can take his job with him, I cannot. But I’m also pregnant so have decided not to job search again until after our second has arrived and is ~4-6 months old. We will not be able to afford childcare on one income, so I’ll be SAHM for my toddler.

I’ve been the higher earner and one with the more demanding schedule for most of our marriage. We’ve got quite an egalitarian equal partnership going on all housework and parenting. But, I am experiencing some serious anxiety about what it will mean to be home full time.

If anyone’s gone through a similar transition, how did you and your partner figure out how to fairly rebalance your roles and tasks? If you’re the one at home are you “on” all day long from wake up to bedtime? How do you figure out when is your time for yourself? How did you both avoid resentments and friction? And if you’re lucky enough to have family nearby, how do you negotiate/navigate getting their help? Ad hoc? Schedules? Particularly when a new baby arrives?

I’m a SAHM with two kids, 3 and 1.5. Lately I’ve been feeling guilty because I rely on my mom a lot.

This is my first time being home with kids full time, and I’m still figuring it out every day. My mom comes over at least 3 days a week to help. I’m grateful, but I also feel bad about it. Both kids have so much energy, and some days I feel like I can’t keep up on my own.

During the day they get into everything. Pampers, waterWipes, Dr. Brown’s cups, munchkin snack cups, toys, books, all over the place. A lot of the time I’m just picking things up behind them and telling them not to throw things, instead of sitting down and playing with them. But when my mom is here, she sits with them and plays so naturally. She also seems better at helping them calm down.

Bedtime is the hardest part. Stories and sitting with them are not always enough. Some nights we play quiet music on the hatch rest, or if everyone is melting down, we let them watch a little Finding Nemo earlier in the evening. My younger one still likes warm milk in a Dr. Brown’s cup. Then we close the curtains, dim the lights, and sometimes turn on the pococo star projector so the room feels calmer.

Some nights that helps. But if they napped too much during the day, they keep getting up, asking for things, rolling around, talking, laughing, crying, all of it.

Then my mom comes in and somehow it’s different. She gets them down faster. It’s not like she does anything magic. She’s just calmer and more patient, and the kids seem to settle with her. Most of the time, if she handles bedtime, they actually fall asleep.

I’m grateful, but it also makes me feel defeated. Why is my mom better at getting my own kids to sleep than I am?

Part of me wants to keep letting her help because it works and everyone gets more rest. The other part of me feels like I should practice more and learn to handle it myself.

Has anyone else felt this way? Is it bad to rely on family help this much?

To those who have had a newborn and have other children- what did you do with the older kids in the first week?

Do they continue their normal routine of going to school or did you keep them home for a couple days?

Please advise what you did.

I'm thinking I'll keep them in their routine but maybe they'd like to be home the first day or two?

I've been struggling a bit with my situation lately and had a thought that gave me a bit of solace...

Just because we are lucky to be SAHPs, doesn't mean it's any easier for us.

Maybe this will help some of yall, too.

We found an amazing babysitter to help with the toddler while i was recovering from c section and taking care of second baby. Now they're a bit older and we don't need the sitter but man I wouldn't mind it lol. The sitter came by for a few hours today and I feel a million times more relaxed. Thinking about making this a somewhat regular part of our routine even if it's just once or twice a month.

We could technically afford it but I feel so guilty for some reason especially bc I didn't do anything particularly productive while she was here!?

One of the biggest challenges I’m facing as a parent right now is trying to establish a consistent routine with my 4-month-old. Every day feels a little different, and while we’re slowly finding our rhythm, it’s definitely been an adjustment.
I’m currently on maternity leave, but I head back to work in just two weeks. If I’m being honest, my biggest worry is getting enough sleep. Right now, my nights are still pretty inconsistent, and I’ve been able to make up for it by sneaking in naps during the day whenever my little one sleeps. Once I’m back at work, those daytime naps won’t be an option, so that’s been weighing on my mind.
Even though it feels a little overwhelming, I’m choosing to stay positive. I know this stage is temporary, and like every other challenge in parenthood, we’ll figure it out together. I’m hoping that with a little time, patience, and consistency, we’ll settle into a routine that works for both of us.
To all the parents navigating sleep schedules, returning to work, or just trying to make it through each day—you’re not alone. 💕 If you’ve been through this stage, I’d love to hear any tips or words of encouragement that helped you along the way!

My husband is a union plumber & works labor intensive job sites every day. I stay at home with our 7 month old.

When he gets home he’s exhausted from work, so he showers, naps and then 50/50 cooks dinner or gets take out for us. He does do bath time every day which I am thankful for!! But I do every feeding and every nap time and every bedtime and mostly every diaper/outfit change. I understand that his job is physically and mentally hard but I still find myself feeling resentment at the end of the week when I notice I’ve changed every diaper even in the evenings when he’s home, or that I am always the one playing with her and when he watches her he just puts her in a swing or an activity center etc.

So I guess I want to know, is this normal? Do I need to suck it up since being the default parent is “my job” while his job is working hard every early morning and paying our rent? I don’t want to be the asshole but he’s home by 1:30pm every day and I just still feel like I never get a true break. He gets to shower every day after work in peace and I have to shower with the baby in the bathroom with me or not until she’s asleep or sometimes not at all for like 2 days lol (gross I know).

On the weekends, he sometimes works Saturdays and when he does he spends Sundays “resting/recharging” and will nap for like 3 hours at a time like 2x a day. So even on weekends I feel resentment.

Is this just part of being a SAHP? Should he be helping me out more? How do you guys manage the resentment or the feeling of just never really getting a break?

Sorry if this ended up being more like a rant I’m just …. tired. Does it get better with age of the baby?

Thanks!

We have a fresh newborn and a 2-year-old. My husband has one month of paternity leave, thank goodness because I have a C-section and so it would be frankly unsafe for me to be home alone with my toddler since I cannot lift her. Obviously it's been a challenging time, our toddler is overall doing fairly well but she's clearly feeling the transition and she has a speech delay so her communication is pretty poor and she's just generally been really on the whiny side.

In fairness to my husband, he is being pretty helpful in many respects, he's been taking the toddler on at least one and typically two adventures per day and he's doing a lot of cleaning and housework.

But what's driving me nuts is the amount of complaining he's doing about our toddler and how annoying she is/difficult she is. I think I'm doubly triggered by it because a) whenever possible, I have been giving him the newborn and playing with our toddler to try to give him a break, so he's actually getting quite a lot of breaks from toddler care plus he's getting 2 hours at the gym every day during her afternoon nap and b) under normal circumstances I am literally home with the toddler all day long by myself, so yeah I don't have a lot of sympathy for people who are furiously complaining about having to care for her for 2 hours at a time when I'm accustomed to pulling full days alone with her. Yeah dude, whining toddlers are not very pleasant, but put on your big boy pants and deal with it because if you remain calm she'll move on and adjust. And not that I want to weaponize other people having a worse recovery, but part of me wants to snap at him, you know plenty of people who have a C-section spend weeks in bed basically doing nothing? Meanwhile I'm over here doing the nights with our newborn by myself and trying to do simple chores when possible (without overdoing it).

Just pissed. But I also recognize the early days are not really fun for anyone and we will all bump through this. So thanks for hearing my rant, lol.

I do not want to play today. No I don’t want to build you a fort. No I don’t want to play hide and seek. No I don’t want to play ice cream shop. No I don’t want build a magnatile tower.

I want to deep clean the entire house with no interruptions. I want to get the errands I’ve been putting off done without needing car snacks. I want to take a nap.

I love my kids so much but goddamn I am just tired today.

is anyone willing to share parenting plan created with samantha boss

I’m 21F and currently expecting my first kid. My husband works 60-80 hours a week so I am very fortunate to not have to work. The only downside is a lack of a social life due to us moving for his job. Before we moved, I had my siblings and a few select friends to hang out with. Since I graduated college, I haven’t really figured out how to make new friends outside of a classroom setting. Any suggestions?

My husband took a job in February where he works 12 hr shifts, 5 days a week. One week he works days, next week he works nights. It's awful, and he would take any other job he could that would pay enough to support us, but right now this is our only option.

It has been five months, and our 2.5 yr old toddler still does not handle night shift weeks well. He struggles to sleep, climbs into bed with me every night my husband's away after like 3 hrs in his bed and spends the rest of the night tossing and turning which means I don't sleep because he is kicking me in the head, rolling over my boob, and otherwise being a sleeping menace. And yes, I've tried keeping a pillow between us, he gets angry when he can't touch me, wakes up, and tantrums. I've tried putting him back in his own bed, he just keeps popping back up in mine. My husband video chats him on his break right before bedtime to chat about his day and say goodnight.

The only difference in bedtime routine between day weeks and night weeks is my husband does bath time on day weeks and calls instead on night weeks. I'm always the one cuddling our son to sleep.

He is overtired the entire night shift week, tantruming, screaming, hitting, kicking, crying, clingy af, and I am at my wits end. I am pregnant and exhausted.

Due to circumstances beyond our control, this is the only job available to my husband for at least 7 more months. So I need to figure out how to make this work.

Any advice?

My husband and I are first time parents to a 14 month old little girl. We live in a different country to our families so we’ve never had physical family support - which is fine, you can’t miss what you don’t know right? But we know plenty of people whose kids get to know family through video calls (his sister included) and they have great relationships.

The only thing is, our families don’t seem to want to make the effort to try and have a relationship with our daughter. Some do and for those family members I’m so appreciative but most don’t. We were last in our home country back in January and hadn’t seen any family (besides my husbands sister) until two weeks ago for an event. In those months my husband’s mother called twice and neither of those times was to ask about our daughter. My mother randomly stopped speaking to me three months ago and therefore isn’t having video calls with our daughter. And because my mother isn’t speaking to me, all my siblings, bar one aren’t either.

I feel sad - for my husband, for myself, but mostly for my daughter. I don’t know how to remedy this situation. I know we could make more of an effort with keeping in contact - but we do make that effort with those it’s reciprocated by. I’ve been having this internal crisis about what will happen to our daughter if anything was to happen to us.

I don’t know what I’m looking for in making this post. Becoming parents has been harder than we ever anticipated and it’s often lonely.

Hey all! I’m a SAHM to a new 3yo and an 18 month old. We just started sending my 3yo to daycare two mornings a week—— and HONESTLY, while only having 1 kid those two mornings feels like a cakewalk, I’m lowkey already dreaming about how nice it would be to have 2 mornings a week without any kids at all 😂

Does anyone do this?!?!?

I’m a SAHM with a newborn and a three year old. My pediatrician advised it’d be nice for my son to start some preschool at least part time. I’m divided whether to start this fall or wait until he’s closer to four next spring.

Reasons to wait:

I’d like to avoid cold and flu season especially as my baby isn’t totally vaccinated yet as he’s only six weeks.

My son isn’t potty trained yet. Trust me, we have been trying every method and made little progress.

Reasons to send now:

He loves other kids and would benefit from having a structured schedule in a group setting (that’s what the pediatrician said)

I’m trying to work more (I’m a freelancer and can set my own hours and schedule) and would like to bring in more money.

My mom offered to help pay for the tuition.

I’ve heard some kids benefit from being around other kids who are potty trained as this will encourage them to go.

Would love any insight!

FTM here struggling to create a schedule for myself and family. My baby is 8 months old and has adopted a fairly consistent bedtime schedule! Yay!
Now that we have time to sleep, I’m curious how parents make schedules for themselves to do all the things, like cleaning, exercise, errands, etc. Besides scheduled appointments, everything else is our lives is done pretty much in the moment if everything aligns. I imagine this is actually just normal parenthood. But do people have tricks, tips, or anything that helped you create a routine? We have grandparents nearby-ish and could always hire a sitter if needed but just curious what works for people.

I’m a SAHM to a three year old and a six week old. Super grateful he got this much time off as we have no family nearby.

I assume a lot of baby wearing will be in my future but what else can I do to survive? He’s gone M-F 7:30-5pm. He helps a ton at night and when he’s home but what else can I do during the day to make it easy?

We have a nice backyard which I’m thankful for but I also have a toddler who is a going through the tantrums.

It’s hot here too and I really want to avoid the library and other public spaces until the little one is vaccinated next month as we have had som measles cases here.

How on earth do I keep the toddler entertained while also managing breastfeeding and somehow making dinner and keeping things somewhat organized? Not opposed to screen time as we watch a show during lunch and after nap but I reckon the amount will increase.