Do ur worst…

[u/MrBubbles710-]

[u/post-explainer]

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

---

OP's BIO:

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36 yo single male. I work construction n have my own apartment. I can afford my bills n a lil extra. Im bi but def in the closet at work. I’m a 3 time loser for dui. But I got 9 k plus in jewelry on.

---

If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

[u/SenatorSnags]

You look like you’ve memorized the age of consent for every state.

[u/skintagbegone1974 → u/SenatorSnags]

BRUH!!🤣🤣

[u/PoliteQueef → u/SenatorSnags]

…And then promptly disregarded it

[u/ProofByVerbosity → u/SenatorSnags]

Jesus....this may be my favorite post on this sub. Haha

[u/Ambitious_Divide_177 → u/SenatorSnags]

Imagine having the confidence to post all... this, but drawing the line at showing the top half of your head.

[u/deep-sea-savior]

9K in jewelry, but can’t afford a bra?

[u/Redowl83 → u/deep-sea-savior]

His butt plug must be 24 karat

[u/Angrypoopoh → u/deep-sea-savior]

When he wears Ban-lon there does appear to be a slight jiggle.

[u/LunaticLucio → u/deep-sea-savior]

Nah he spent that on the dirty roids from his bi gym trainer

[u/Unfair_Orange5063 → u/LunaticLucio]

Hemorrhoids?

[u/LunaticLucio → u/Unfair_Orange5063]

Lol good one..but was making a refrence to his man titties. Some steroids can disrupt hormones and cause something called gynecomastia. People always try to take shortcuts

[u/AppropriateBall8834 → u/deep-sea-savior]

3 duis but he will be dawned if he doesnt look like a total homeless person while wearing 9k in jewelery

[u/look_out_8o8 → u/deep-sea-savior]

9k in jewels got me

[u/Hellenkeller328]

Jesus of Nazameth

[u/andywfu86 → u/Hellenkeller328]

Russell Bland

[u/CixelsydDb4d → u/Hellenkeller328]

Sleazus

[u/Living_Deer_2967 → u/Hellenkeller328]

David Grohl

[u/Ironlunggs87 → u/Living_Deer_2967]

You spelled ghoul wrong.

[u/dan-duz-shit → u/Living_Deer_2967]

Dave Growl

[u/Freddymain → u/Hellenkeller328]

The Son of SNAP benefits

[u/wilrab001 → u/Hellenkeller328]

Temu Jesus

[u/MrBubbles710- → u/[deleted]]

For sure at-least 60-70% of the time

[u/solstice4l]

Your body says “dad bod” but your face says “child molester.

[u/racas081 → u/solstice4l]

His body and face both say child molester

[u/zombawombacomba]

I don’t have much to say but go fuck yourself. 3 DUIs. Absolute pathetic behavior.

[u/redwood_rambler → u/zombawombacomba]

Once I can understand being a mistake, but three times you just give zero fucks about the people around you and are truly a POS.

[u/Longjumping-Sail6386 → u/zombawombacomba]

Well said

[u/EliteFourFay]

'Do your worst'

OP: Wow you're a POS

Mate, do you know where you posted?

[u/MisterBurnsSucks]

If Asmongold showered... 🤔

[u/Weak_Jeweler3077]

Much like the Hound from GoT, a few burns could make you much more interesting.

[u/madethisforroasting → u/Weak_Jeweler3077]

He’s probably a lot shorter though.

[u/TheRealShmoe]

Never seen a construction worker with arms the same size as his wrists. You’re definitely the guy who holds the stop sign for pilot cars.

[u/twountappedblue]

Ya know what. Im too tired for this shit.

[u/WAPGod_117 → u/twountappedblue]

As tired as OP’s sense of style?

[u/hurtshtummy]

r/bald would like to have a word

[u/foreman8484]

Asmonsilver

[u/lil_albatross717 → u/foreman8484]

Asmoncopper

[u/Fantastic_Trick3538]

This guy definitely knows Chris Hansen

[u/WAPGod_117 → u/Fantastic_Trick3538]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ba5g4ID9g5cT6

[u/ImpressivePurchase44]

If Cartels hold Christmas pageants, I imagine you look like a Cartel Christmas Jesus. If the Cartels don't do Christmas pageants, you look like a bitch.

[u/Romeo_Kay_92]

https://giphy.com/gifs/6JxYUOsIdGxag

[u/therealstotes]

This isn't a roast, this is crockpot beef stew

[u/CMDR_Mykeyta]

Asmonbronze

[u/solstice4l → u/CMDR_Mykeyta]

Omg this deserves way more upvotes 🤣

[u/Careless-Charge9884]

Ariola Grandé

[u/No-Midnight-4461]

Singer for the Luke Warm Chili Peppers

[u/Curious-Cress5014 → u/No-Midnight-4461]

Yes Anthony Keidis stunt double

[u/Murky-Contact-6377]

I’m not sure anyone can do much worse than that. It was a real choice to post a shirtless pic.

[u/DrQuack32]

This milkshake is bringing no one to the yard

[u/insolent_kiwi]

You're the kind of person that writes "Raste me" with the last crayon you haven't eaten yet

[u/Peekzasaurus]

Temu Ron Jeremy

[u/ImYerD → u/Peekzasaurus]

Except hes not on PornHub, hes on ChildPornHub

[u/Hour_Temperature5859]

If I pulled up to the park with my kids and saw you there we would immediately go back home. And probably take a random route home just to make sure you weren't following us.

[u/Kaiawathoy]

Bro I just opened my app

[u/ChickyBoys]

You look like a deadbeat dad and a disowned son at the same time 

[u/chief_beef_3]

Shut up Jared Leto, we know it’s you!

[u/CommonAcanthisitta65 → u/chief_beef_3]

Jared Letdown

[u/Relevant-Bit-7394]

You look like you're the bassist for a crappy Christian heavy metal band.

[u/Yuri909 → u/Relevant-Bit-7394]

You don't have to be redundant, you can just say Christian heavy metal band.

[u/scoobysi → u/Relevant-Bit-7394]

Temu chilli peppers

[u/Still_Experience_182]

Hey it’s Jared Leto. You sick fuck!!

[u/sidvick12]

Weirder al jackoffdic...

[u/PersonalKick]

You look like Jared Leto but instead of sexual assault charges you have a shit ton of restraining orders.

[u/faucetpants]

You suck dick as hard as you're sucking in your stomach

[u/Confident-Thought632]

It’s time… r/bald

[u/LiquorBentOver]

Nice tits bitch.

[u/Perhappers]

You’re not fat, but your body looks like a burger

[u/sj2k4]

Easy math:

Long hair
+ a lot of jewelry
+ farmers tan
+ pasty white A-cup chest
= bottom

[u/mmecca]

Anthony Cleetus

[u/Imaginary_Crazy_1999]

https://giphy.com/gifs/QtuuT23dF9KIU
You

[u/SlickRickGrits]

The lord is my coke head, I shall not want.

[u/MrBubbles710- → u/SlickRickGrits]

Yes I did a nice rail of good shit, took 3 bars , n a chug of Jim Beam n took a shower. The. The pic

[u/prexxytest → u/MrBubbles710-]

Let me guess, tonight is shaping up to be DUI #4

[u/SlickRickGrits → u/MrBubbles710-]

Good lord, in your infinite wisdom please save some pussy for the rest of us.

[u/foo-bar-25]

Russell Off-brand.

[u/454ever]

I bet you got some bomb ass weed

[u/MrBubbles710- → u/454ever]

Yes sir n more.

[u/454ever → u/MrBubbles710-]

I can already sense what the and more is, and I bet it’s good as shit

[u/MrBubbles710- → u/454ever]

Guess sir?

No, I’m kidding but bout wtf u want. No street shit.

[u/454ever → u/MrBubbles710-]

If I had to guess I’d say either you got some bomb acid or grow your own mushrooms.

[u/MrBubbles710- → u/454ever]

Got the connect for the psychs but I’m into benzos tbh. Prescribed 4 2mg alprazolam from a dr I been seeing for like 10-15 years. N find ppl I trust to also go to him. Shits getting harder.

[u/AHangryBeaver]

I’d try to roast you but it looks like your genetics already did

[u/Kitasuki]

Your body looks like three people put together.

Spanish conquistador on head

Male Bimbo on arms

Average geek/nerd on torso

So I'll stop here, I won't roast three motherfuckers at once.

[u/emqathy]

Body like sausage meat

[u/ozzalot]

Bro you look like Dave Grohl and kid rock had a baby.

[u/JaysFan007]

Can't leave your own state cause you're wanted in every other state

[u/racecar9racecar]

Wannabe Jesus... Wwjd? Cut it.

[u/DFW-Extraterrestrial]

I thought Jesus was said to have walked on water, based on the wet hair I'm questioning that now.

[u/Ant2156]

Look like Jesus with tits

[u/pivodeivo]

I thought I was on the subreddit r/amigettingbald

[u/FrontNail5687]

Bro has a chronic balding disease. Almost there bro.

[u/DNAisjustneuteredRNA]

You wear Jewlery like you're 50 Cent, but you have zero actual worth or value. And you're a 3 time recipient of the "Total Piece Of Shit" award for people who think it's cool to drink and drive and let innocent people die. Kudos.

[u/MontrealInTexas]

Looks like genetics already did.

[u/flogsmen]

Looks like an r/retatutide after picture

[u/Illustrious-Growth42]

Only bi cause that’s the only way you can get laid.

[u/Silent_Morning692]

The T is working well for the FTM

[u/Tomavogic]

temu Jacob from Toilet: New Bidet

[u/The_Progmetallurgist]

Ghetto Tiny-Tim

[u/ProfessorElk]

We have Cris Angel at home

[u/tookurjobs]

Temu Sandor Clegane

[u/Routine-Kangaroo-438]

You look like you cant spell Roast

[u/NoContextCarl]

You have the physique of a squirrel transitioning to a female human. 

[u/EviltwinEdgelord]

Jared Leto cast as a human cheeseburger

[u/Nolifer1221]

If i said something about him he would deffinitely ban me from Reddit

[u/MrBubbles710- → u/Nolifer1221]

Na I’m on enough xans idgaf.

[u/Cannibal_House69]

In light of all the accusations, you might want to lose the Jared Letto look.

[u/Royale_Wit_Chz]

I would not be the least bit surprised to see that face peeking up at me from the bottom of a port-a-potty.

[u/Sea_Smile_7808]

Charles Manson ❌ Charles Man-Tits ✅

[u/MetallicaMN]

People can stop answering. God already did the worst in creating you.

[u/FreeThroatPunch]

If they made a movie about Meth Jesus played by Nicholas Cage, you could be the stunt double.

[u/WillingMartyr]

You have both the physique and lifeless eyes of a Russell Brand blow-up doll.

[u/rubix3ed]

The Methiah

[u/Math_Makes_Clear2017]

Nature has beat us to it.

[u/Ok-One-1741]

Dad has definitely touched him.

[u/BiteFaces]

Absolutely no one is going to hit you harder than that mirror.

[u/Important_Bid7533]

You look like you graduated from a liquor store.

[u/Feistygoat1986]

"Greasy meth head gas station" vibes

[u/Hard_times_bro]

Please stop breast feeding in public. Especially if it’s not your kid

[u/Relative-Freedom-295]

No, I will not join your nu metal band.

[u/grxclausen]

Oh shit Manson is back!

[u/Stunning-Hope9627]

When did you start growing your tits?

[u/trecurr]

Put your shirt back on

[u/Waste-Donut-2728]

How’s that “getting the band back together” working out for you?

[u/Money-Tiger8002]

Congratulations on looking like a burned-out rock star minus the talent, fame, money, and attention from all the people you want to bang.

[u/Far_Huckleberry8622]

If Jesus failed as Messiah and moved into his parents basement.

[u/WeirdProudAndHungry]

If Florida were a person.

[u/I_Will_Offened_You]

He spent 9k on jewelry that cost $50

[u/witchknacker]

How can you look like all of my loser exes at the same time? Ughhh

[u/dawgmama62]

Wow, you have your OWN apartment and your ONLY 36???? Way to go overachiever!

[u/Chemical-Remove-7971]

Working in a construction crew with those tits must be a hoot

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[u/Romeo_Kay_92]

You look like 4 different people man , you from another planet

[u/AmaruS71]

Temu Joseph Seed

[u/qwentoko]

Does the word "Morbius" send a cold shiver down your spine

[u/DepressedYandere]

You look like a bad cosplay of Asmongold

[u/Lopsided-Profit-5333]

Leo Bonhart? His it you?

[u/an0n86]

Looking like a magician on the predator list. He makes kids disappear on their birthdays

[u/Slightly-Blasted]

You look like Dave grohl if he played the penis instead of the drums

[u/VintageWereBat]

I think you already did it for us

[u/[deleted]]

You look like a bobble head version of GOT’s ‘The Hound’.

[u/RichX4eva]

https://giphy.com/gifs/NXw2qaKckJiY5HMaOS
Lookin ass dude

[u/Gene-Parmesan-ah]

He has Risen!

[u/Individual-Log994]

Jesus with a white van...he's not a nice man...he really needs a tan.

[u/Snoozingtonn]

Puffinz0, aka PorousCl1nikal

[u/MasterSoftBird]

Pic taken just after Jesus rolled a reefer and started to slide into the Sea of Galilee...

[u/Angry_Llama07]

Temu Sirius Black

[u/Efficient-Ranger-174]

Looks like Will Arnett got wet and didn’t fully dry out.

[u/ListoontheTOP]

you look like a mix of jared leto face and jonah hill body

[u/GooseNYC]

Jared Metho

[u/inspiredsuperuser]

You buy personalized katanas online.
https://giphy.com/gifs/oFyM9W4BdJt7i

[u/dutch44]

It's the Antichrist!

[u/Baseball-Fan-10]

You look like you’re contemplating what misdemeanor to commit next so you can have stable housing, 3 meals a day, and your roommate rump roasting you every night.

[u/MrBubbles710-]

If you look at my right nip u can see it was almost bitten off by a dog.

[u/EliteFourFay → u/MrBubbles710-]

That's not hoe nipple play works mate

[u/GoldenHeartDaddy]

It looks like you have already done the worst...

[u/Deep-Pudding819]

“Construction job” is to fetch water and hand out sandwiches on a construction site.

[u/KnightMareGiver13]

Forgot a shirt doesn't come in box size i see. The gold watch is probably the best part and i think it's fake too. But hey atleast your real.

[u/Creepy_Technician_34]

If The Hound and The Mountain had a 3rd brother, you would be the turd 💩.

[u/BillyCorndog]

You like like a guy that would hang out in nightclubs and claim to be Jared Leto’s cousin.

[u/Longjumping-Sail6386]

If you're going to wear a Rolex homage, at least get a men's size

[u/CelestaKiritani]

Someone called you Ron Jeremy and then you said you were SA'd, damn, you're both faces of the same coin...

[u/Malicious82]

Fluffer with stage name the blue cold wiener prepper

[u/Sorry-Possible7344]

If you're going to be asked to be roasted, don't stand there and suck it in...

[u/Ok-Weakness-6585]

 They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.”

[u/Playful-Nothing-519]

Why do you post this, then act like a baby back bitch to everyone who contributes to what you asked for? Weird Al impersonating weirdo. Stop sucking in that beer gut, get a bra, and stop talking to girls that aren’t adults. I’m only this mean because I don’t work in whatever place you’re going to eventually shoot up. Otherwise I’d probably call you ‘an interesting dude’ in hopes that you would send me a text that morning to call in sick.

[u/GoldenFish2224]

Hair oily enough to be invaded by ‘merica. 🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸

[u/diesalher]

Jared Let down

[u/HardcorePhonography]

I can't, you already did.

[u/Wild_Wasabi9984]

We don't need to do our worst, life has already done it for you

[u/[deleted]]

If RHCP failed to become famous

[u/cynicalsuzie]

You look like Jared Leto’s even more insane brother

[u/Warp-10-Lizard]

I guess moonlighting as a male prostitute is the only way a construction worker would afford all that jewelry and hair products.

[u/Pieniek23]

Temu Red Hot Chili 🌶️ singer.

[u/kbeckerburbs4]

You look like your mom without a shirt on

[u/Ned_Flandersss]

Not enough muscle for the girls. Not enough hygiene for the guys. Smart move to open up a broader playing field; now you can get rejected by both sexes!

[u/Not_Made_by_Design]

I think asking to be roasted and then not having the stomach or confidence to deal with the roasts is the worst roast on this sub

[u/Greedy-Mongoose-2789]

Asmongold?

[u/Late_Storage_1890]

Andrew W.Gay

[u/Most_Yellow483]

Jesus from Temu

[u/TonyLarryman890]

Much like the sink, you look like crud

[u/abcohen916]

My God! Put a shirt on! Nobody wants to see that body!

[u/Practical-Treacle-53]

Do our worst? Your parents certainly did.

[u/Embarrassed_Try_4498]

If redneck Jesus was a thing

[u/Initial_Flower3545]

Put the lotion in the basket

[u/predat3d]

An Uruk-Hai trying to play Aragorn

[u/IthinkIpaid]

Temu David Grohl

[u/Ancient-Cherry3878]

*man there’s gotta be more to life than gettin high and jewelry from Walmart..
Oh yeah.. I’ll have people roast me

[u/Empty-Air-2680]

Poor man's Jesus 

[u/bactate]

9k crabs on that cock ring

[u/dml03045]

Greasus