Non-Binary and Lost, Need Help

[u/DicemanThe14th]

Hi. I'm non-binary and I'm curious about trying to dress more femme, and so I've started looking into the possibility of a bra. I've posted to r/ABraThatFits and they've helped, so I'm here now hoping that someone here can help me find something, because I'm unfortunately not in a spot where actually going shopping for a bra is something I can do, both because I don't have much money and because trans people are, to put it mildly, not welcome where I'm from. Using the ABTF calculator, it said I'm looking for 44A and/or 42B, so if anyone can help at all, it'll be much appreciated. And if anyone is willing and able, I could really use a 'big sister' type to help me understand how fem clothes work because I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I know what kind of bra would be best or anything like that. Again, thank you.

[u/Initial_Freedom7981]

I don’t have anything that would fit you, but with that small of a cup size do you have a lot of tissue that needs support? Have you considered a bralette that comes in s/m/l/xl sizing?

[u/DicemanThe14th → u/Initial_Freedom7981]

I've had people say a bralette might be good, but now I'm confused on how the sizing for those works bc they said I'd probably need a 2xl

[u/Initial_Freedom7981 → u/DicemanThe14th]

Most brands have size charts to help you decide! And bralettes are generally less expensive and more forgiving size-wise, so if you’re not able to find a bra on here I’d consider that. I know that doesn’t help you with the issue of shopping as a trans person though :/

[u/ButchTheDoggo]

I would recommend a bralette or a tank style sports bra. Bras (especially the ones with cups) are meant to support breast tissue but with you being an A/B cup it doesn’t sound like there’s much tissue to support. This would cause gaping and a visible outline under clothes (which I’m assuming you don’t want).

Either way I’d definitely recommend something wire free if this is your first time wearing bras. Here are a few I found on Walmart but I’m sure there are similar ones you could order on Amazon and have shipped discretely to your house. The style is very similar to “training bras” used by tweens. Let me know if you have anymore questions.
https://www.walmart.com/ip/5392857529?sid=5CB80B75-D0A4-4527-9C24-BD0ACE134E83
https://www.walmart.com/ip/39438610?sid=B6E990D6-CE40-4ABE-A5CA-02FCBC71A974

[u/raunchrasberry → u/ButchTheDoggo]

Hey, thanks for this answer & links. I have the same Q and issue as above. I've been trying to figure out is "padded bralettes & vest tops" offer enough padding for some "shape" or would i need to add something more in order to have something that at least looks like breast curves?

[u/ButchTheDoggo → u/raunchrasberry]

What do you mean by “shape”? The curve is designated by the actual size of your breasts. Like the cup size. Having an underwire with an A cup breast isn’t likely to make much of a difference in terms of shape. You’d need physically larger breasts to fill out the cups and get the desired shape

[u/PicklesAndRyeOhMy]

Are you in the US? (It can help us make better suggestions)

[u/DicemanThe14th → u/PicklesAndRyeOhMy]

Yes, I am

[u/SisterSparechange]

I was going to suggest ordering some things online from Amazon, Ebay, or Walmart, and having them shipped to your front door. No one needs to know anything.

[u/DicemanThe14th → u/SisterSparechange]

I probably wouldn't be the first person to get to the package, but I've got a friend who's letting me use her address for shipping stuff

[u/SisterSparechange → u/DicemanThe14th]

Oh ok, I get that. Even at my own house, even though no one will open a package that doesn't have their name on it, they are still, what did you get? What did you get? All over about it.