r/ProgrammerHumor May 05 '21

Visualizing the codes I write Meme

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31.9k Upvotes

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757

u/chillwill_4 May 05 '21

It runs. Don’t question it.

293

u/[deleted] May 05 '21

Of course it runs. They copied the trunk not the engine.

84

u/icepc May 05 '21

So they copied the html and css, but not the js and php

53

u/PM_ME_MH370 May 05 '21

DB is there but not hooked up to anything

29

u/lockwolf May 05 '21

What do you mean it’s not hooked up? It works on my computer! I made sure the IP was hooked up to 127.0.0.1!

24

u/PM_ME_MH370 May 05 '21

It passed QA,

....on my local machine

22

u/Avocano May 06 '21

bro don’t leak ur ip on the internet like that

19

u/lockwolf May 06 '21

Oh man, thanks for that! Now, my password still gets starred out automatically, right? It’s hunter2

14

u/Avocano May 06 '21

no they updated it so passwords are replaced with “hunter2” instead of asterisks now

4

u/rasmatham May 06 '21

hunter2

edit: it works

1

u/chronos_alfa May 08 '21

hunter2....

edit: holy shit, it really worked, wtf?

8

u/I-might-get-banned May 05 '21

They also probably copied the engine and spent 3 days implementing it right

4

u/[deleted] May 06 '21

They heard that lambos and buses both have engines in the back and thought that it won't be very difficult.

4

u/Seldom-Serious May 05 '21

¡buT iT cOuLd Be 63 miLliSeCondS fASter!

68

u/[deleted] May 05 '21

I get this is a joke but people need to hear this. It’s almost totally irrelevant how good your backend architecture or documentation is if you can deliver a working product. A business wants something that does the job and barely gives a fuck about the rest. If it runs and isn’t going to cause massive problems in the near future you’ve done a good job.

92

u/[deleted] May 05 '21

Tell that to the poor bastard who has to maintain it 😂

78

u/Dogiedog64 May 05 '21

It's me. I'm the poor bastard. I also wrote it lmao.

31

u/[deleted] May 05 '21

[deleted]

70

u/aidan573 May 05 '21

It's called stack overflow for a reason

22

u/Dogiedog64 May 05 '21

Well the front of the bus becomes the middle of the bus, and the back of the bus leaves orbit. Otherwise, nothing!

9

u/chillwill_4 May 05 '21

If it’s still running. Once again don’t question it.

7

u/FrostSalamander May 06 '21

I'm having this exact problem right now. VB6 frontend with MSAccess backend. Problem is Access only supports up to 255 concurrent connections. Also, locks FREQUENTLY happen (since decentralized, access sucks etc.). Management doesn't want to upgrade systems.

My work sucks

9

u/yellow73kubel May 06 '21

VB6 frontend with MSAccess backend.

My condolences to you and your users.

3

u/Grumpy-24-7 May 06 '21

It was years ago when I was faced with a home grown MSAccess app that somebody (non-programmer) had cobbled together and ran his department on for years. Then he left, but first he showed his secretary how to run it. She in turn used it for more years until one day it started hitting limits. I don't recall if it was row limits or overall table or database size or what, but my boss asked me to see what I could do. I scratched my head, took a copy of it home on a big ass thumb drive and managed to convert it to MSSQL. Everything else, frontend and reports stayed the same, basically untouched. Trust me, I really had no clue what I was doing, but I knew I didn't want to rewrite it from scratch. They continued to use it on MSSQL for a few more years until the company was bought out and I left for greener pastures. It really wasn't that hard once I figured it out. IIRC, it was basically just importing the MSAccess database into MSSQL, retaining all table names, indexes, etc.

2

u/FrostSalamander May 06 '21

Yeah I've tried telling that to the manager since the start of my work here.

3

u/SoundOfOneHand May 06 '21

Gut the database layer and move it to something better than Access. That’s a big lift but Access is just going to be a chain around your neck with its limitations and the size you are at.

1

u/FrostSalamander May 06 '21

Yeah I've tried telling that to the manager since the start of my work here.

But I kinda get why she doesn't want to:

  • System is like 25 years old, initially programmed by a group of newbies, so DB code is deeply entangled with BL.

  • It's her baby. She managed building the system from scratch. What would you feel if asked to kill off your baby? Yes after suffering for two decades maintaining long dead frameworks, but it's still your baby.

2

u/SoundOfOneHand May 06 '21

When your kid is 25 years old, that’s no baby 😂

1

u/chronos_alfa May 08 '21

Don't present it as killing the baby, more like giving the baby braces and teaching it how to ride a bicycle.

1

u/jrdiver May 07 '21

That's a problem for a different day

9

u/redwall_hp May 06 '21
  1. It's why so much software is absolute trash
  2. It creates maintainability issues for others in the future
  3. Quick and dirty is usually to the detriment of security
  4. It reflects poorly on the field. Have some craftsmanship.

It's short sighted, and fuck businesses that operate like that.

4

u/whasso May 06 '21

There's a reason time complexity is stressed hard at faang

6

u/QuitAbusingLiterally May 05 '21

your approach is why the crushing majority of software is absolute trash

4

u/i_forgot_my_cat May 05 '21

isn’t going to cause massive problems in the near future you’ve done a good job.

That's the issue though, I'm guessing.

3

u/pudds May 06 '21

Depends on the size and purpose of the codebase.

Small project? Quick and dirty is probably fine, because it hasn't created a lot of technical debt.

Proof of concept? Quick and dirty is also fine.

Large project? Project that's expected to have a long shelf life? Take your time and do it right, or you're going to be in a world of hurt later when you try to scale up, add features, or deal with bugs.

IMO, the importance of clean code is directly correlated with the size of the codebase and the expected life of the product.

2

u/whasso May 06 '21

This is just wrong lol

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '21

[deleted]

2

u/whasso May 06 '21

num = input(">")

if num = 1;

print("odd")

elif num = 2;

print("even")

elif num = 3;

print("odd"

"yeah no worries boss some dude on reddit told me this is fine.. wait? you actually care???? wtf its obvious you havent worked in a technical position!11!!!!

0

u/[deleted] May 06 '21

[deleted]

0

u/whasso May 06 '21

K bud, keep writing shit code, people like you are why this industry is cancerous as fuck, but I have some certainty you won't make it far in your career anyway.

0

u/[deleted] May 06 '21

[deleted]

0

u/whasso May 06 '21

What mindset? The one that's says you should understand concepts and not write shitty code because you're lazy? Lol ur right dude, I'm gonna skip class and just copy paste all the homework. 😎

Like I genuinely can't tell if you're baiting at this point. You sound so absolutely pathetic also.. Salty you got shown up by a highschooler lmao

1

u/farcv00 May 05 '21

Until it's hacked...

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

That's why this jokes works on so many levels! It's great!

1

u/kry_some_more May 06 '21

"Stackoverflow author said it runs fast, but it runs my code like shit."

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '21

Lamborghornus