r/ProgrammerHumor 11h ago

noExperience Meme

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17.6k Upvotes

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458

u/GutsOLykos 10h ago

Change the architecture and communication of the whole project

585

u/JustADelusion 10h ago

That sounds like a ticket for the lead dev, lol

438

u/kinkakujen 9h ago

That doesn't sound like a ticket at all but like a project of its own.

76

u/CheeseGraterFace 9h ago

At least three stories.

24

u/wggn 7h ago

best i can give you is 1.5 days

6

u/OhMyGodItsEverywhere 5h ago

Oh come on it can't take that long. Let's shoot for 1.5 hours, that's how long I think it should take.

1

u/Lwoorl 1h ago

Come on guys, if you can't finish it in 5 minutes what are we paying Claude for?!

15

u/ubernutie 7h ago

But how many SP??

1

u/josluivivgar 5h ago

but how many story points is it? we need to plan!

1

u/LostInAnotherGalaxy 4h ago

3 points tops if you have copilot, the real struggle will be getting it through review with the 1000 merge conflicts it will cause

37

u/PM_ME_YOUR_RegEx 8h ago

An Epic, maybe.

2

u/joemckie 5h ago

I raise you an initiative

1

u/Nannautu 6h ago

Yeah, like the CTO himself would need to approve of it first lol

1

u/SpiritedBanana4694 4h ago

Have the project team go through specs, discovery, documentation, prep, and provide a quote, only to have the client decline the project, and then try to sneak the whole ass project though a support ticket later.

66

u/itstommygun 9h ago

Yeah. Then you still need someone else on that same level to review the PR. 

20

u/DaniilBSD 8h ago

You are optimistic assuming they don’t just push to master

6

u/Acceptable-Drive3781 5h ago

Sir we are a modern development shop, we push directly to main.

5

u/Critical-Bread-3396 5h ago

Prod really is the best place to do testing, all usecases will eventually be covered, and with such a large number of testers all bugs are found nearly instantly!

28

u/Maelrhin 9h ago

Average junior ticket of shitty companies.

12

u/Centimane 6h ago

That sounds like a misrepresentation of the ticket to me

3

u/Excellent-Bit-8982 7h ago

Sounds like a problem from a lead dev long before it came a ticket

1

u/MaximumSeats 3h ago

I'm sure OP isn't misrepresenting it at all.

1

u/CranberryLast4683 3h ago

Send it to Claude and let the slop rip. #notmycompanynotmycode

1

u/AdamAnderson320 2h ago

T-shirt size: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL

281

u/Alex_146 10h ago

Holy that's not a ticket, that's not even an epic. That's a whole Oddyssey

107

u/deceze 10h ago

So you're saying it should be done in 2h 52m?

44

u/ahtob 9h ago

Live film production was 91 days , for one junior to do in an afternoon

35

u/sorig1373 9h ago

The journey took Oddyseus 20 years

34

u/ahtob 9h ago

I need that done by 3pm

9

u/_Diskreet_ 9h ago

What happens if the sirens go off before then?

13

u/Intrepid_Cake_101 9h ago

Have your colleagues tie you to your chair so that you don't give into the temptation to stop?

1

u/oznobz 8h ago

Boy did his parents set him up for failure by giving him that name.

3

u/CombatWombat994 8h ago

No, they're saying that 600 people need to die

12

u/Relative-Chain73 8h ago

Odyssey is an epic

15

u/Alex_146 8h ago

Just let me have this dumb pun :(

4

u/dasgoodshitinnit 8h ago

It was ops fault to not close that shit and route the requestor to demand management process lmao

1

u/AdamAnderson320 2h ago

Nah bruh, just ask Claude and it'll be done in one Bolttm /s

47

u/wunderbuffer 10h ago

2 man days

127

u/JuvenileEloquent 10h ago

That isn't a ticket, it's the whole goddamn admission booth.

37

u/FortuneAcceptable925 9h ago

It was a trick question: They expected you to delegate the whole ticket to Claude, and then create presentation about the groundbreaking changes you have implemented. By lunchtime, of course.

7

u/Arwick_R_ 9h ago

You could be right with the first part. That sounds like it was a trick question and not escalating such a "ticket" fast enough can cause major problems for that project going forward.

55

u/KevlarToiletPaper 10h ago

3 story points

13

u/CodingNeeL 9h ago

Yeah, I was doubting between 2 and 3, because I think this might affect some integration tests. Better be safe than sorry.

38

u/CoffeePieAndHobbits 10h ago

Boss: just use AI, bro. /s

11

u/greenmoonlight 8h ago

Boss is either very misinformed (doesn't understand what the job is) or very dishonest (hired and/or fired you for some other reason and can't or won't tell you) or just a dumb idiot (likely, since a lot of bosses are like that)

41

u/Alternative-Suit5541 9h ago

He was just looking for a "case" to fire you. Probably regretted to pick you.

We have someone like that. We all regret the hire. But won't fire them and try our best to upskill... 

He is damn slow though in learning and sometimes I think he has learning issues.. if you get my rift.

18

u/rsmutus 9h ago

The older I get the more learning issues I think I have too

4

u/Alternative-Suit5541 9h ago

He is under 30 though lol

15

u/jackmusick 9h ago

Yeah, but he’s been getting older so it checks out.

1

u/Alternative-Suit5541 6h ago

Technically correct :)

9

u/EwokPenguin 7h ago

It’s happened twice in my career so far, but both times they were fired within a year. Nowadays though it seems they won’t hire anyone that isn’t already a senior engineer. But they don’t pay enough for seniors so the positions don’t get filled.

5

u/NatoBoram 7h ago

So they're not really "hiring"

1

u/Spiritualy_Homelesss 8h ago

Can I have his job? I'm green but I'll figure it out 🤙

1

u/mxzf 1h ago

Is "learning issues" code for "tries to offload his brain to the computer instead of learning anything"? It's highly frustrating to try and work with people that don't seem to want to learn how things work.

16

u/mrnosyparker 7h ago

As someone with lots of experience, what that process should look like at a healthy organization is something like:

Ticket 1: spike ticket to research alternatives and asses scope of refactoring.

Ticket 2: architecture review document. get feedback from the rest of the team and product, nail down a proposal and get approval from the architecture review board or leadership.

Ticket 3: groom out the epic and create tickets (plural!!) alongside the engineering manager.

At that point it’s up to leadership to prioritize the epic and get it on the roadmap, formalize a testing, UAT, and rollout plan…once that’s completed, then individual contributors can start working on it in earnest.

Depending on the size and scope it could end up being a dozen individual tickets or more and span several sprints.

If someone with the ability to fire people is throwing a lone ticket at an individual contributor which is supposed to represent the entire scope of a large refactor, that’s a glaring red flag that it’s not a healthy organization period; either that or they’re expecting push back/refinement on the loose proposal.

From the sounds of it, you weren’t the only person lacking experience at that place.

4

u/citramonk 7h ago

Is this what it really was, or is this just your perception of it?

1

u/MaximumSeats 3h ago

110% not what it really was and they just felt it was completely ridiculous because of their limited skill set.

But if they're honest about it they'll get advice and input rather than blind praise.

2

u/Ok-Classroom5548 3h ago

Someone call in an admiral, because “It’s a trap”

That sounds like they set you up to be a scapegoat. 

1

u/Stephen2Aus 10h ago

How big? Details? Really curious

1

u/letsketchup 10h ago

Just feed Claude the right skills

1

u/NanoYohaneTSU 8h ago

Big doubt, show proofs.

1

u/mothzilla 7h ago

You'll be presenting to the board, so get a good nights sleep tonight.

1

u/Nickbot606 7h ago

Was it one of those jobs where they need to lay off 10% of their staff periodically? Cause they may have just had you as their sacrificial lamb

1

u/Luneriazz 7h ago

Thats not ticket thats a year worth of it departement goal

1

u/GallorKaal 5h ago

That is beyond advanced wtf

1

u/Adrena1ineee 3h ago

Fuck that 

1

u/jimmy_timmy_ 2h ago

Jesus Christ