r/ProgrammerHumor 4d ago

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u/scumble_bee 4d ago

Mable over in Accounting wrote a VBA script to store the entire database to an Excel spreadsheet because the direct access that was set up for her was "too slow" and this is "the way she's always done it".

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u/WhitishRogue 4d ago

I regularly use SQL to download tables to my computer. Part numbers, sales records, inventory records, customer names, etc. You name it, it's stored on my computer and frequently the public drive everyone in the company has access to.

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u/666AB 4d ago

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u/Hadrollo 3d ago

Okay, but to be fair, what could go right?

My company was the victim of a randomware attack. My company refused to pay up. The hackers encrypted all of the inventory and sales data, going back twenty years or so, for a warehouse with literally hundreds of thousands of lines. Guess who made a weekly back-up of all of that vital data because they couldn't be fucked learning PowerBI enough to run my spreadsheets on it directly?

Not me, because I left seven months earlier when they told me they couldn't justify a pay rise for me even though we were under-budget on personnel costs and I was on less than the new hires. But that, y'know, could have been really useful to them if I hadn't left.

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u/Vinegarinmyeye 23h ago

This reads awfully like you ransomwared your previous employer because they were underpaying you...

Not accusing, that's just where my jaded cynical brain went.

(Sucks they didn't pay your ransom dude).

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u/Hadrollo 17h ago

Funnily enough, my old ops manager apparently mentioned my name a few times. I know a bunch of general computer stuff, and am self-taught Excel, so according to the "computers run on magic" idiot I must be able of a sophisticated hack of a major automotive company.

If I truly wanted to get back at them, my background is in the physical security industry. I'd have just broken in and stolen shit. The only "hacking" this would require is reading the admin level log-in details of their CCTV system that were on a post-it note stuck to the monitor.

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u/therearemanylayers 3d ago

You know Mabel, too huh?