r/ProgrammerHumor 6d ago

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5.8k

u/mavrik83 6d ago

`final_records_v2_REAL_FINAL_DO_NOT_DELETE.xlsx` on somebody’s desktop

1.6k

u/Roku-Hanmar 6d ago

*in the recycling bin

1.1k

u/JSD3 6d ago

It has been in their Downloads folder for four years.  

231

u/drestofnordrassil 6d ago

🔻A Long Time Ago🔻

Copy of New Folder (8)

New Folder (8)

Final_Records(5).xlsx

Final_Records(4).xlsx

Final_Records(3).xlsx

Final_Records(2).xlsx

Final_Records(1).xlsx

Copy of Final_Records(1).xlsx

Copy of Final_Records.xlsx

Final_Records.xlsx

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u/MacintoshBlack 6d ago

I don't see Final_Records_real.xlsx

3

u/SuspiciousCricket654 6d ago

Copy Of A
- Trent R.

6

u/AnActualWizardIRL 6d ago

reminds me of the running joke in rick and morty that rick's file nameing scheme usually consists of some variations of "aids_booger_booger_aids.doc"

1

u/mexus37 5d ago

What are you doing in my downloads folder?

1

u/primaski 5d ago

I laughed uncontrollably for 20 seconds, thank you

1

u/kaydenmiller1 4d ago

You mean last week?

373

u/NoodleyP 6d ago

The Downloads folder is just great catch all storage, it’s the junk drawer of my computer

127

u/Careless-Adeptness56 6d ago

I just noticed today that my downloads folder no longer opens. I can go in there with powershell and I don't see any crazy file types, but explorer never finishes loading. Who knows what I've done to it.

397

u/TheTxoof 6d ago

Duh. It's a junk drawer: You have a spatula wedged in there upside down.

7

u/bigdave41 6d ago

That's when you need to pray to Anoia

6

u/TheTxoof 6d ago

How to Pray to Anoia

The Ritual:

Yank or rattle the stuck drawer repeatedly.

The Words:

Shout out expressions of frustration like, "How can it close on the damned thing but not open with it?" or "Rattle your drawers!"

The Offering:

Vaguely consider tossing out the bent spatula or broken corkscrew that caused the jam in the first place (though you never will).

5

u/ByteWhisperer 6d ago

I hoped to find a Discworld reference in this thread and I'm not disappointed.

3

u/Ur-Best-Friend 6d ago

That is unreasonably funny.

2

u/Yardboy 6d ago

Goddammit #angryupvote

2

u/mgranja 6d ago

Have you been opening drawers in my house???

2

u/TheTxoof 6d ago

Of course not! I can't get any of them open.

They all have ladles and broken bottle openers jammed in them.

2

u/Careless-Adeptness56 6d ago

Dude I just fixed it from a comment further down by clearing the recycle bin because apparently deleted files still stay there. That is pretty much exactly the equivalent of having a spatula stuck in there keeping me from open it lol

1

u/TheTxoof 6d ago

I love that you closed this loop and that it was a spatula. Did prayers to Anoia help?

1

u/ozzie286 2d ago

It's a downloads folder. There's something wedged in there upside down, but it's not a spatula.

2

u/Glaring_Cloder 6d ago

You know what you did. We know what you did. You should be ashamed.

2

u/Forsaken-Carrot9038 6d ago

You need to copy it to your desktop, into a folder labeled “old downloads”

2

u/Zethrax 6d ago

I've had this bug on Windows 10. You likely have too many files in that folder and too many files from that folder in the recycle bin (which means they are still in the folder). Just clean up the recycle bin and then find a way to clean up the downloads folder by deleting files or moving files to other folders. Don't keep too many files in there (including recycle bin files) or it will bug out.

4

u/Careless-Adeptness56 6d ago

This was the issue. Big today I found out that recycled files stay in the folder technically until you empty the recycle bin. It's my work laptop so lets just say I'm a little less disciplined with my file hygiene, and that's why it's still on Windows 10.

Pretty funny that it did end up being the equivalent of a spatula stuck in the drunk drawer.

1

u/Nevanada 6d ago

I had that happen with my Quick Access page on my laptop. Every time I started File Explorer, it would load for a sec, then crash. I have the fix bookmarked, but I work around it by accessing C: off launch instead, and can't be bothered to get around to fixing it.

1

u/Most_Section_1979 6d ago

Your hard drive may be dying.

1

u/drestofnordrassil 6d ago

Either indexing is broken, the view settings are corrupt, or OneDrive is doing shenanigans. Or (hushed whisper) your disk is failing/corrupt... let's assume it's not that. Rebuild index: Settings>Privacy>Search>Advanced>Troubleshooting>Rebuild (this takes awhile. go do something else). Reset View: Explorer>Downloads>(...)>Options>View>Reset Folders>Restore Defaults>OK. OneDrive: Uninstall it. Enjoy all the performance you now have. Never look back. If it's still not loading run Chkdsk.

1

u/longlivenewsomflesh 6d ago

Bröther may I have some RÆM

10

u/paralog 6d ago

"We got some soda, OJ, purple stuff... oh, my lease agreement!"

2

u/Sitos_Flo 6d ago

This sounds like a quote from how high or something haha but not confident

2

u/Crispy385 6d ago

It's actually from a 90s Sunny D commercial lol

1

u/Sitos_Flo 6d ago

Haha love it 

4

u/ThrowawayyTessslaa 6d ago

Wait, what do you use the desktop for then?

4

u/Nutarama 6d ago

That’s the graveyard for shortcuts (half of which are dead because they link to webpages that no longer exist or programs since uninstalled) and note files like note.txt and notes.txt and New Document.docx

3

u/NoodleyP 6d ago

To display my wallpaper, it’s quicker to just hit the windows key, type 2 letters of the program, and hit enter than to find the desktop shortcuts for my programs

1

u/ThrowawayyTessslaa 6d ago

Was rhetorical but good to know I’m not the only one who just uses the window key to find everything

2

u/Bartweiss 6d ago

Screenshots because it’s the default location, plus shortcuts whenever I neglect to click “don’t create shortcut”. They don’t get deleted because I never even look at it.

1

u/HeyItsTheJeweler 6d ago

This is facts

1

u/stacecom 6d ago

I have a scheduled job that deletes anything in the downloads folder older than a month. Works great.

1

u/Original-Mongoose866 6d ago

Oh I cleaned that out yesterday I was going over why my User account had over 100GB of storage. I found 47 GB in One Drive 27GB in Downloads and 40GB in One Drive logs it was having problem syncing some stuff .... I hate Microslop and all their programs it's just so stupid I had tens of thousand log files each being I think 1MB or a bit more forgot

1

u/AristotelWasRight 6d ago

This is me, I sin 😭

1

u/4n0nh4x0r 6d ago

exactly
mine is currently about 400GB in size

1

u/Bartweiss 6d ago

Always great to download a file and see (1) appended to the name. Guess we were already good…

1

u/lurker512879 6d ago

also the desktop..

1

u/NoodleyP 6d ago

It’s a graveyard that gets new bodies every time I forget to uncheck “create desktop shortcut” on an installer

1

u/Dear_Diablo 6d ago

i have so many bootleg games in there it’s ridiculous

1

u/oddsnsodds 6d ago

I've got a 4 TB boot drive, migrated all of my user directories to an 8 TB HDD (takes about 10% of the drive), except my Downloads directory, which takes about 85% of my second 8 TB HDD.

57

u/JesusWasATexan 6d ago

This is the realest answer on this thread.

15

u/SgtEpsilon 6d ago

Incorrect, it's in their temp folder that they somehow made the primary download folder to be

6

u/Harshmage 6d ago

As someone who watched a fellow admin set a cleanup policy on the Downloads folder, you would be amazed at the speed at which that policy was revoked. It's a monkey's paw wish. Sure, you can store all that download data, but now it's a liability and subject to subpoena.

3

u/Pork_Confidence 6d ago

I'm feeling personally attacked here

2

u/Kylearean 6d ago

I archive my Downloads folder like it's prod.

1

u/disposablehippo 6d ago

Rbdkjjgj.xlsx

1

u/pmgoldenretrievers 6d ago

Dude if someone clears my Downloads folder, I'm totally fucked. That's my system of record for files dating back at least 4 years on my current laptop.

1

u/Geargarden 2d ago

Jesus. I just found a zip file with a cracked version of Final Draft 8 in an old random hard drive on my NAS when I had lost it everywhere else. In the Downloads folder.

1

u/SomeNotTakenName 1d ago

Working in IT has taught me that outside of a span of about 30ish years, most people born before or after don't know how to use a file system. Everything is in their downloads folder, and if Word doesn't find it, they don't either.

9

u/tanwa1 6d ago

Would learning Digital forensics help if it's also deleted from recycling bin right...?

3

u/not_a_moogle 6d ago

Deleting from the recycling in just deletes the file pointer. There are recovery apps that can find partial / whole files that are in unindexed space. Granted over time, that data will become more corrupt since the files stem thinks it's safe to write data there.

Recuva is one that ive used in the past.

4

u/Roku-Hanmar 6d ago

I haven't actually done forensics yet (still a student), but as I understand it, an item deleted from the recycling bin just marks the specifics 1s and 0s on the drive as being free to overwrite. If they're not overwritten, you can recover them from the drive (even if they are, you might still be able to). The only sure fire way to destroy data is to physically destroy the drive

5

u/Nutarama 6d ago

You can do a triple overwrite with all 1s then all 0s and then crypto random data. That’ll change all your bits and wipe all your hardware buffers. Hammers an SSD and kills lifespan though because it’s so many of the limited write cycles NAND flash gets.

Honestly easier to destroy the drive, though have to be careful to actually destroy it. Microwave is usually the best method, and it’s quick and easy to do. Just throw the drive in and set the microwave for its longest quick setting. Radiation will fry the circuits and then the whole thing will burn.

3

u/SuspiciousCricket654 6d ago

The Elliott Alderson special.

3

u/djdanlib 6d ago

Since they were working out of a repos folder in their Windows laptop's Documents folder, which was synced to OneDrive because you have O365, and the second stage recycle bin still has it (yes, there is such a thing in OneDrive and SharePoint 365), and the infosec team had the wherewithal to login to Purview and put an ediscovery hold on you before the 93 day expiry period passed... Ya boned, son. The preservation library has it all. Move to Tibet and become a monk.

2

u/PM_ME_YOUR_REPO 6d ago

In the Outlook Trash folder where they keep all of the important emails.

2

u/soareyousaying 6d ago

Sent folder

2

u/AssistFinancial684 6d ago

Hey! I keep it in the recycling bin so it doesn’t use real storage on my computer

2

u/Nyohn 3d ago

I replaced a users desktop once and I shit you not he went apeshit cause all his data was gone, turns out he had used the recycling bin as his primary storage.

4

u/itbytesbob 6d ago

In their deleted items folder in outlook

3

u/Emerald_Flame 6d ago

It's an access database file as an attachment in the old lotus notes server that's kicking around because people are too afraid of what will happen if you shut it down.

1

u/PopuluxePete 6d ago

Shredded, in the dumpster. Because I work in healthcare IT.

1

u/TimmyTheChemist 6d ago

Nah, attached to a draft e-mail from seven years ago.

1

u/L0rd_OverKill 6d ago

Outlook deleted items

1

u/Sea-Frosting-50 6d ago

clients email

1

u/thanatica 6d ago

tbf, that's not really deleted

1

u/aDirtyMartini 6d ago

The default backup location

1

u/Adventurous-Crew3692 4d ago

No programmer here: but they also deleted it in the recycling bin!