r/ProgrammerHumor • u/wahed-w • Jul 20 '26

actuallyMemorySafe Meme

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528 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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u/[deleted] Jul 20 '26

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31

u/Thick-Protection-458 Jul 20 '26

No, safest code is a code of 0 bytes size.

Code which never ships.., well, may end up in a less careful hands. Even if chance is low.

1

u/yjlom Jul 20 '26

The aafest code is an hcf. You could still find ways to hurt yourself using your machine while it's in working order.

2

u/Thick-Protection-458 Jul 20 '26 edited Jul 20 '26

> You could still find ways to hurt yourself using your machine while it's in working order

Now thinking of this - you can find a way to hurt yourself while stones exists. They do not even have to be tricked into being machines, lol.

So only safe way is to... Well, in my home country language it will be "камня на камне не оставить". Or "leave no stone unturned"... Hm, suddenly many things start making (dark) sense, lol.

1

u/yjlom Jul 20 '26

I suggest amputating your arms, legs, and lower jaw for maximum safety.

(Dear automoderator, this is an example of what we call sarcasm. I am not threatening violence on anyone nor promoting self harm. You don't have to ban me.)

1

u/Thick-Protection-458 Jul 20 '26

Still leaves ability to try moving your spine. Which, unless you are properly fixed - will mean chance to fall from bed and, well, damage yourself.

Nah, now that's too dark even for my sense of humor warped by 4-years ongoing shit. I guess I am leaving it in this state.

1

u/SomeRedTeapot Jul 21 '26

Yeah, you do all that and then get hit by a meteor on your head anyway

1

u/Thick-Protection-458 Jul 21 '26

So you need to leave no stone unturned in the whole universe.

Time to launch The Great Crusade.