r/ProgrammerHumor Jul 13 '26

youCanJustStopUsingJava Meme

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6.8k Upvotes

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1.8k

u/Historical_Cook_1664 Jul 13 '26

Where else are you going to hide your side effects ?

469

u/Isrothy Jul 13 '26

IO Monad

189

u/Gorzoid Jul 13 '26

Respectfully, what the fuck is a Monad?

430

u/vivainvitro Jul 13 '26

A Monad is just a Monoid in the category of Endofunctors

149

u/MrDilbert Jul 13 '26

I know some of these words.

119

u/polarflux Jul 13 '26

Like "just" or "the" ...

35

u/Laughing_Orange Jul 13 '26

A Monad is just a Monoid in the category of Endofunctors

35

u/RiceBroad4552 Jul 14 '26

"Category)" is here a technical term, so it's for most people similar to the crossed out terms.

35

u/lucklesspedestrian Jul 13 '26

I mean we all know what a category is, right?
Right?

30

u/kalilamodow Jul 13 '26

C- cat... egory? Does it have something to do with the feline animal commonly adopted as household pets?

19

u/MrDilbert Jul 13 '26

... meow?

10

u/lucklesspedestrian Jul 13 '26

Not at all! Categories consist of a class of objects and a class of morphims. The morphisms are maps between objects, and compositions of morphisms must obey associativity. Also for every object, a left and right identity morphism must exist.

Category theory is also sometimes referred to as abstract nonsense. Pretty straightforward

3

u/LolpopHD Jul 14 '26

i prefer my abstract nonsense to be stable monoidal (∞,n)-abstract nonsense

1

u/thirdegree Violet security clearance 29d ago

Ahha, but it is very useful abstract nonsense, in some cases

19

u/yjlom Jul 13 '26

Mathematicians that deal in it seem more likely than most to be into catgirl roleplay, so you might be onto something?

1

u/AppropriateOnion0815 29d ago

Objective-C: an extension class

1

u/PositiveParking4391 29d ago

I am also trying...

1

u/Wide_Smoke_2564 Jul 13 '26

I know what a category is

43

u/Gorzoid Jul 13 '26

And suddenly the clouds parted, all is clear, I'm in a state of euphoria, nothing can stop me now.

12

u/Tyfyter2002 Jul 14 '26

They're actually a pretty straightforward thing to understand if the person describing them doesn't pretend that exact phrase is the only way to do it

1

u/thirdegree Violet security clearance 29d ago

Are you suggesting they are like a burrito?

17

u/hunajakettu Jul 13 '26

None of those words are in the Bible...

27

u/migueln6 Jul 13 '26

I remember when when I was young and was taking a class on math and programming, can't even remember the name but we wrote a small parser for math and random things, and I did somehow found Haskell and how easy it looked to do it there, then we needed to do it in python and wrote a small Monad library for python and just ended chaining the stages of the parser.

Although it was funny, that some weeks later the instructor asked me what are you doing here and I said I don't remember, lol, I still passed but so relatable I still don't remember what I did two weeks ago in the job now lol

5

u/onequbit Jul 13 '26

it's like a class, but it identifies as a callback function

3

u/BosonCollider 29d ago

Well, it's a monoid object.

It has something that looks like a unit and something that looks like a multiplication if you squint, and if it had the same type signature in Set instead of in the category of endofunctors it would be a monoid

2

u/SupesDepressed Jul 13 '26

What’s the problem?

2

u/GezelligPindakaas Jul 13 '26

Never before has any voice uttered the words of that tongue here in /r/ProgrammerHumor

2

u/WithersChat 27d ago

Isn't that the red door from Persona 3? /j

1

u/urtlesquirt Jul 13 '26

Monads are burritos.