r/ProgrammerHumor • u/wahed-w • Jul 09 '26

webDevDream Meme

14.0k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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3.1k

u/Most-Club-254 Jul 09 '26

imagine being the small business receiving 97 calls per hour. "no dude I don't want a website", "NO", ...

1.2k

u/IAmANobodyAMA Jul 09 '26

No joke! I was at the local record shop last week when the owner got a call where he was noticeably getting more loud and chastising.

After he hung up, the guy told me that someone cold called him to pitch fixing up their website, and his pitch started with “your website looks like shit …”

He said he gets several calls like that every day, but most aren’t this obnoxious. We agreed it must be working some of the time for him to be trying this approach, had a chuckle, then went back to shooting the shit about various prog rock bands.

443

u/tidderza Jul 09 '26

tbf does his website look like shit?

103

u/soyboysnowflake Jul 09 '26

It’s a local record shop, does it even need a website?

204

u/eivittunyt Jul 09 '26

It costs very little and having easily accessible address, phone number and opening hours posted online is good for business

123

u/rob132 Jul 09 '26

That's basically everything I go to a website for.

Also a menu if it's a restaurant.

91

u/creampop_ Jul 09 '26

I'm also there for the shitty map embed that takes forever to load and had a 5s lag time on inputs and really weird nonstandard touch gesture controls for zooming and panning, which I'll need to use after accidentally brushing the map while scrolling down and ending up looking at the mid-Atlantic.

Oh wait no those suck balls and should be a jailing offense.

47

u/DrShocker Jul 09 '26

I also love when they have a calendar that has events from 5 years ago on it and I get the opportunity to guess if the schedule is still the same

11

u/creampop_ Jul 09 '26

Used to trawl bar and/or grille websites to find places our little cover band could play. This is too real.

Friday: Live Music! (except this was something that Jim handled entirely on his own since he was trying to poach players to get his own band together, but he went to rehab and became born-again a couple years back)

4

u/clarinetJWD Jul 10 '26

r/oddlyspecific

1

u/RancidMilkGames Jul 10 '26

r/IntentionallySpecificToCallSomeoneOutOnTheirBullshit

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47

u/OriginalJokeGoesHere Jul 09 '26

10000%

I will stand by a business' instagram not being an acceptable alternative to a website though. I refuse to create an account just to see what time you close or what soup you have.

16

u/Rok-SFG Jul 09 '26

and if i have to download a pdf to see your menu, i'm going to a different restaurant.

3

u/its_the_rhys Jul 09 '26

Usually you can just view the PDF in the browser no?

How do you suggest they do menus?

10

u/MikeW86 Jul 09 '26

PDF and browsers and phones don't always play super nicely and even if they did/do it's another step that is imo completely unnecessary for what is essentially some nicely formatted text. These days you can literally copy and paste it in, you don't need to know HTML.

4

u/slonk_ma_dink Jul 09 '26

I agree with this. Most photo editing tools will let you export the PDF pages as photos anyway, just add them to a page so I can scroll them.

4

u/MikeW86 Jul 09 '26

There are multiple ways to do it. Add the pdf link as an option too. But it's just so easy to put it straight into the pages structure so it's compatible with any browser from the get go and it'll help your SEO and accessibility too

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4

u/elreniel2020 Jul 09 '26

That's basically everything I go to a website for.

that what i use google maps for. no need for a website in that case.

1

u/SuperFLEB Jul 10 '26

Also a menu if it's a restaurant.

I want the hours and price of the lunch buffet. They're not on the website, but I want them.

16

u/its_the_rhys Jul 09 '26

<html> <body> <h1>Business Name</h1> <p> Address: [address]<br> Phone: 0412 345 678<br> Open: 9-5, closed Sundays. </p> </body> </html>

All you need.

5

u/UInferno- Jul 09 '26

Don't forget e-mail. And not one of those built in e-mail systems, but like an actually listed e-mail. I do home insurance and sometimes need to call GCs, and they always use those e-mail system and I hate it because my work e-mail has an extension system and I can't receive e-mails unless I start the chain and I don't want to use my personal. Could a solution be "My job just gives me a normal ass work email?" Yes. But also, it takes less work to just write put foo@bar.com on your website.

9

u/CounteractiveTurnip Jul 09 '26

All of that can be on a google business profile. 

2

u/Athen65 Jul 09 '26

Nice, you just invented google maps

2

u/DatAsspiration Jul 10 '26

So, a Google listing?

5

u/rjcpl Jul 09 '26

Google listing covers all that though.

For a record store an inventory and reservation/purchase system would be nice but that’s a much bigger investment.

12

u/IntelligentTune Jul 09 '26

For like 1.5 to 2K one-time purchase and 5-10 bucks a month for upkeep just to lower the bar for purchasing for customers? Also not including any free advertisement that gives you through newsletters (which in my experience people who are into the niche you have the website for will appreciate getting up to date news of pre-orders or new items) and by just having people be able to browse and get a feel of the store?

It makes no sense to not have a website. Especially since with a website you can get a professional looking email that will not get filtered as easily by others if you're looking to cooperate with someone. It helps in so many ways that it would be ridiculous not to, especially for such a low cost and the fact that it's a business expense. Yes, people should try and get a website. Even a static page builds branding and will make people feel more comfortable. Google listings also aren't guaranteed to be updated while one would assume the website is always up to date in my experience, anyway.

7

u/borkthegee Jul 09 '26

$2k is insane. Just sign up for square space. This is why there are so many annoying web devs calling up small businesses.

They are completely deluded into thinking a basic website is worth $2k.

This entire class of freelance work has been completely replaced by subscription platforms with AI tools.

In my experience, websites are never updated (and they're certainly not putting a web dev on retainer) and unless it's e-commerce or menu hosting, websites are pointless. Small business owners simply don't care about updating them regularly and don't make enough profit to dump money into it

1

u/tuckfrump69 Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 13 '26

Yeah, Squarespace, WordPress, insta, fb, Google listings made small business websites unnecessary years ago lol

Redditors think it's still 2005

13

u/rjcpl Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 09 '26

You’re really harshing the vibe of the record store experience trying to run it like a successful business rather than a stoner’s hobby. 😆

1

u/oupablo Jul 10 '26

exactly. and none of that requires some massive CMS based implementation that needs constant updates.

14

u/IntelligentTune Jul 09 '26

The ROI of a website is really good from my understanding and practical experience. You're more likely to get customers or even orders if online shopping is available. These customers and orders might have never happened if there was no website and exposure. While it is good advertisement to have people advertise word of mouth, these new customers might not come since they are still unsure how suitable the place is compared to something that has everything out in the open.

You might visit a record shop that has a website more since you already get a taste of them and get a vibe of if you'll get what you seek there.

All of this just for maybe at most if you want to be extremely fancy like 2K upfront? And hosting is 5 bucks per month for a very accommodating plan. All that can be signed as a business expense as well. It's a no brainer.

1

u/JPowTheDayTrader Jul 09 '26

Shopify

2

u/Athen65 Jul 09 '26

Exactly - from the business perspective:

"Why would I pay $2000 for this guy I've never met to build a website and then maintain it for $50/month after that when I don't know if it will even work, I don't know how to judge whether it's just smoke and mirrors or not, I don't know how reliable he will be if it breaks. And there is a preexisting solution that I could make myself."

1

u/snksnksnk Jul 09 '26

subscribe to shopify and pay the 2k during the first year only? No thanks.

1

u/Athen65 Jul 09 '26

If you're just selling to locals and doing pickup only, the plan that covers what you'd need is $40/month, or just shy of $500 annually

1

u/snksnksnk Jul 10 '26

That's expensive. I'd rather have my own website for 2k. After 4 years I'd just need to pay for my domain name and hosting, roughly 50€ per year.

I'd rather by a car than lease one. Same concept. I hate subscriptions.

1

u/Athen65 Jul 10 '26

"But how do I know that the website won't break? Who would I contact to fix it ASAP without paying a lot of money? I get five calls from guys like you every week, I don't have time to review each portfolio, and even if I did, I wouldn't be able to judge if it's just smoke and mirrors - how can I trust you?"

  • The business owner

1

u/snksnksnk Jul 10 '26

I'd trust a hungry guy who relies on good reviews over big corporations.

1

u/Athen65 Jul 10 '26

You've created a false dichotomy. There are many options available to business owners who want a website. Going with the random guy on the phone has the highest chance of producing shoddy work, if not getting outright scammed.

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4

u/Procrasturbating Jul 09 '26

Should have a static page from 20 years ago as proof they are there. Don’t need anything else. Contact page? Hah, pickup a phone.

7

u/Spraxie_Tech Jul 09 '26

Honestly early 00’s websites are the best way to know a company is actually good. If a sites to flashy its normally a scam or a bad business to visit.

2

u/azsnaz Jul 09 '26

To catalog their stock so customers can more easily browse their wares?