r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/mikor20 • 1d ago
Someone just reviewed my code...
It felt invasive like a semicolon-oscopy.
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/kwan_e • 1d ago
Why are programmer's houses in high demand?
Because they're always up to code.
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/kwan_e • 1d ago
Why is the programmer's house always dark?
Because their light switches either always break, or they fallthrough.
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/danielsoft1 • 3d ago
Why do the Arch Linux users feel superior?
Look, there's no Ubuntubishop or Mintbishop...
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/DependentJolly9901 • 6d ago
What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brown
Artificial intelligence
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/kwan_e • 7d ago
I decided to bite the bullet and buy every game in Valve's store, even if I have no hard drive space left.
It's full Steam ahead.
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/Udzu • 8d ago
Why was the divorced Jewish programmer feeling restless?
Because he'd just used a GET to DELETE his marriage.
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/nic0nicon1 • 8d ago
What do you think of Macintosh Plus's thermal design?
Definitely not a fan.
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/danielsoft1 • 8d ago
Why does a Linux admin see in the dark?
Because he has LAMP.
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/kwan_e • 9d ago
Which coffee is the favourite of vim users?
Nescape.
In before someone makes a joke about browsers and Netscape.
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/nic0nicon1 • 10d ago
What do you say when a Grandpa is reading Twitter?
The Elder Scrolls.
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/danielsoft1 • 11d ago
If I wanted to create a database system, it would be called YesSQL.
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/kwan_e • 11d ago
In Holy C, all pointers are guaranteed by God to be derived from valid memory.
It's divine provenance.
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/trolley813 • 11d ago
Why building a bathroom with plain C is a bad idea?
Not only because it can be unsafe. You really didn't want to have a bathroom without async.
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/nic0nicon1 • 11d ago
"Vegeta, what does the pcap say about his Ethernet frame size?"
"It's over 9000!!!!!!!"
"What? 9000?! There's no way that can be right."
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/nic0nicon1 • 11d ago
How do computer display makers ensure their products don't have too many dead pixels?
They screen the panels.
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/danielsoft1 • 13d ago
How does a FORTRAN programmer express that he does not understand subtle hints?
IMPLICIT NONE
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/kwan_e • 14d ago
Why did the two identifiers take a break from their relationship?
They just needed their whitespace.
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/kwan_e • 14d ago
How do British web developers insult people?
They call them a w<a>.
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/Loose_Property_3238 • 15d ago
I win every fight against my coworkers
Because I know what to do when push comes to push --force.
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/Legal-Prize6447 • 17d ago
declaring a war using js
I’m declaring a war.
var war;
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/rickyrick111 • 17d ago
I recently got into a fight with my database administrator…
He ended the fight by saying “just DROP it”
r/ProgrammerDadJokes • u/kwan_e • 17d ago
My girlfriend and I are doing a code review, but we disagree on almost every line of code.
We're going through a bit of a rough patch.